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Kinko
Stranger



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22238756 - 09/14/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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there are also books out there about how to become a contract killer even tho I don't want to kill anyone I don't mind learning about it... that's basically what I'm doing with this guide.
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Kinko
Stranger



Registered: 01/07/11
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Niffla] 1
#22238771 - 09/14/15 09:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Niffla said:
Quote:
twighead said: Epic heist 
Next time try going to the bulk section and mislabeling the trail mix as just peanuts.. you're practically going to save 3$ a lb.
Shwwwing. Cha ching.
dude you just blew my mind
saving people money since Sep 14 , 2015
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GreenRabbit
Plutonium Pollinator



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22239079 - 09/14/15 10:46 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sometimes when I self check out vegetables, I get the organics ,BUT I USE THE CODE FOR NON ORGANIC 
Quote:
Kinko said:
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GreenRabbit said: Lol.
Asking about being a world-class criminal and your example is shoplifting meat. 
Its an easy and clever way for a youngster to test the waters with.
No, its not.. Shoplifting is retarded. You want to make money, embezzle it, or have a business, find some drug dealers and launder money.
Criminal school is called prison. Once you end up there, you learn a lot about how to get back in.
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D.M.T
Shroomery Contaminant


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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22239424 - 09/15/15 12:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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The way to be a successful criminal is to either work as independent as you can, or have as many people beneath you with as many degrees of separation as you can.
Keep the money separate from the people getting dirty. Leave the dirty work to the people who want to prove themselves to the group. That's because people doing the violent shit / bottomdwelling shit are most likely to get caught, so the less they know about how shit runs, the less likely the people calling the shots are gonna go down. Plus they can more easily be replaced.
If you control who knows what, then the people who are most likely to cause problems can be eliminated before they do.
Never talk to police, routinely check people for wires, never use phones, instead have predetermined meetings.
And always remember your mantra, 'just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me'
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twighead
mͯó



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: D.M.T]
#22239431 - 09/15/15 12:40 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You forgot the secret handshake, gotta have a secret handshake for your crime oligarchy
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22239438 - 09/15/15 12:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You wanna be a world class criminal and the best you can come up with is switching stickers on meat?
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Bodhi of Ankou] 1
#22239452 - 09/15/15 12:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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No but seriously, If I was gonna do something big Id do a heist. Preferably a bank, with two associates. Id ping police radios with a phased antennae array and figure out their exact locations, Id also scramble their communications so they couldn't orchestrate a counter response. We'd get in the bank, lock it down, do our work and leave, one shot, one time. Sure as fuck better then switching sale stickers on steaks.
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sh4d0ws
LSx


Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 12,086
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#22239516 - 09/15/15 01:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: No but seriously, If I was gonna do something big Id do a heist. Preferably a bank, with two associates. Id ping police radios with a phased antennae array and figure out their exact locations, Id also scramble their communications so they couldn't orchestrate a counter response. We'd get in the bank, lock it down, do our work and leave, one shot, one time. Sure as fuck better then switching sale stickers on steaks.
Good luck dude, though I still think you should go with the meat idea.
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D.M.T
Shroomery Contaminant


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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: sh4d0ws]
#22239534 - 09/15/15 01:55 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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An ex girlfriend of mine was part of a shoplifting ring that amassed tens of thousands of dollars each until they were caught. They were on CNN & everything.
The simplest crimes can be lucrative if you do it enough. The problem is you will eventually get caught doing that shit.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



Registered: 12/12/09
Posts: 31,501
Loc: FL
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Mescalean]
#22239571 - 09/15/15 02:28 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mescalean said: with crime the big dick of the law will eventually fuck you. it's ineveitable
true and therefore the goal becomes maximizing your monetary gain while minimizing your time spent incarcerated.
Learn which crimes have the best benefit to punishment ratio and do those
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KamikazeKush
A Most Curious Explorer



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Apostle]
#22239677 - 09/15/15 03:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Can't believe no one hit him with the yet
-------------------- A Man Said to the Universe: “Sir, I exist!” “However,” replied the universe, “The fact has not created in me A sense of obligation.” -Stephen Crane
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



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Posts: 9,997
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#22239688 - 09/15/15 04:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: No but seriously, If I was gonna do something big Id do a heist. Preferably a bank, with two associates. Id ping police radios with a phased antennae array and figure out their exact locations, Id also scramble their communications so they couldn't orchestrate a counter response. We'd get in the bank, lock it down, do our work and leave, one shot, one time. Sure as fuck better then switching sale stickers on steaks.
I hear you are better off hitting a brinks truck when it goes to pick up money from stores and take it to the banks on Fridays or when they are putting money in atms.
But like OP said, you are better off switching bar codes on the meats because there is almost no risk with that xD
--------------------
Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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my3rdeye



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Apostle]
#22239698 - 09/15/15 04:05 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Get one of those cat burglar masks and sacks with the $ sign on it first.

After a few heists you will want to establish a lair of super villainy.

Or

At this point you may want to join a group of like minded criminals. Its all in the name shoot for a name with words like legion or brotherhood in it. Throughout all this you should be working on some sort of death ray device that you can hold the world hostage with. Be sure to demand more than a million dollars there too Dr. Evil because the property taxes on that lair won't be cheap. Good luck. Hope to see your message of ransom demand interrupt the SuperBowl one day.
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twighead
mͯó



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: my3rdeye]
#22239709 - 09/15/15 04:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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My hideout


Eh
Makes you wanna be criminal now donnuit?
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22239762 - 09/15/15 04:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kinko said: What makes a good criminal? Paying attention to detail and knowing when to quit/leave come to mind. As well as not talking to anyone about your business , keeping a pre paid phone in hand, and possibly? Maybe? Move around if you draw attention. What are other aspects that make a good criminal? What crimes they choose to commit? Which people to target? Im looking for pointers since alot of you sell/used to sell drugs and or theft. Are there any criminals out there with pointers or loopholes when it comes to the system? How can you abuse the ho? ( remove sticker from cheap item , put said sticker on expensive item ( meat?) and scan thru self checkout. Thats just one example i heard of. Make this thread a guide for future criminals to study. How would you do it?
these guys have an ingenious and elaborate meat stealing operate... you'll be at the top in no time if you learn from them
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natzyshroomer
Star gazer


Registered: 12/01/12
Posts: 405
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22239805 - 09/15/15 05:44 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Read
-------------------- All submitted posts are by Someone Who Isn't Me and in any event are works of pure fiction or outright lies. Any information, statement, or assertion contained therein should be considered pure unadulterated bullshit
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: natzyshroomer]
#22240188 - 09/15/15 08:29 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How to become a "criminal" (how it actually works):
Find something illegal you're good at. Do it. Do it some more. If you haven't been caught yet, you might be good. Naturally you'll start to meet others doing the same or similar. Listen, observe and learn. Get better, do more, make more.
Most important step: STOP when you have money saved (you are saving, right? Otherwise you're an idiot)
This is how to be a successful criminal. Now take the money and do something legal, which can be just as profitable if not more.
Easy.
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