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Kinko
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Registered: 01/07/11
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Guide to becoming a world-class criminal.
#22238234 - 09/14/15 07:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What makes a good criminal? Paying attention to detail and knowing when to quit/leave come to mind. As well as not talking to anyone about your business , keeping a pre paid phone in hand, and possibly? Maybe? Move around if you draw attention. What are other aspects that make a good criminal? What crimes they choose to commit? Which people to target? Im looking for pointers since alot of you sell/used to sell drugs and or theft. Are there any criminals out there with pointers or loopholes when it comes to the system? How can you abuse the ho? ( remove sticker from cheap item , put said sticker on expensive item ( meat?) and scan thru self checkout. Thats just one example i heard of. Make this thread a guide for future criminals to study. How would you do it?
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22238247 - 09/14/15 07:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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with crime the big dick of the law will eventually fuck you. it's ineveitable
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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GreenRabbit
Plutonium Pollinator



Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 2,667
Loc: In a forest
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Mescalean] 4
#22238256 - 09/14/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Lol.
Asking about being a world-class criminal and your example is shoplifting meat.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko] 1
#22238257 - 09/14/15 07:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Get into politics. If you ain't corrupt when you start, you will be eventually.
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,560
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22238259 - 09/14/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Become a fed. reserve or IMF banker
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Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: twighead]
#22238264 - 09/14/15 07:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Le_Canard said: Get into politics. If you ain't corrupt when you start, you will be eventually.
Quote:
twighead said: Become a fed. reserve or IMF banker
-------------------- FREE BURKE
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Boomertown
Psychonaut



Registered: 06/21/15
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Mescalean]
#22238276 - 09/14/15 07:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Patience
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Kinko
Stranger



Registered: 01/07/11
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Mescalean]
#22238279 - 09/14/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mescalean said:
Quote:
Le_Canard said: Get into politics. If you ain't corrupt when you start, you will be eventually.
Quote:
twighead said: Become a fed. reserve or IMF banker
While i agree with everything said above its far - fetched for a low intelligence and or starting out criminal. I want pointers for someone aspiring to become a criminal. What should they look out for? What are good criminal paths which take little risks and little time to accomplish?
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Kinko
Stranger



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Boomertown]
#22238281 - 09/14/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Boomertown said: Patience
Solid advice.
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko] 1
#22238284 - 09/14/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Walk into your local Wells Fargo and ask them. Those fuckers were found guilty of over 56,000 counts of fraud during the housing crisis and not a single bastard has seen jail time.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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Kinko
Stranger



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: GreenRabbit]
#22238288 - 09/14/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
GreenRabbit said: Lol.
Asking about being a world-class criminal and your example is shoplifting meat. 
Its an easy and clever way for a youngster to test the waters with.
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Kinko
Stranger



Registered: 01/07/11
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Quote:
ShroomerInTheRye said: Walk into your local Wells Fargo and ask them. Those fuckers were found guilty of over 56,000 counts of fraud during the housing crisis and not a single bastard has seen jail time.
Exactly Big criminals dont get punished so the least us low life criminals can have is a guide on how to protect ourselfs.
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,560
Loc: Glenn Gould's Fuck Windmill
Last seen: 4 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko]
#22238297 - 09/14/15 07:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kinko said:
Quote:
Mescalean said:
Quote:
Le_Canard said: Get into politics. If you ain't corrupt when you start, you will be eventually.
Quote:
twighead said: Become a fed. reserve or IMF banker
While i agree with everything said above its far - fetched for a low intelligence and or starting out criminal. I want pointers for someone aspiring to become a criminal. What should they look out for? What are good criminal paths which take little risks and little time to accomplish?
Well it's going to be difficult for anyone with low intelligence... you need to be able to match wits with the people who are trying to stop you. Unless you just have incredibly good slight of hand.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Kinko] 1
#22238558 - 09/14/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
GreenRabbit said: Lol.
Asking about being a world-class criminal and your example is shoplifting meat. 
Quote:
Kinko said: remove sticker from cheap item , put said sticker on expensive item ( meat?) and scan thru self checkout. Thats just one example i heard of.

damn homey that's some straight Al Capone level type shit
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,560
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Last seen: 4 hours, 4 minutes
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Niffla]
#22238582 - 09/14/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: twighead] 1
#22238606 - 09/14/15 08:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Just went to the grocery store and pulled off the ultimate caper
Took the barcode off the generic brand ranch and put it on a bottle of Kraft ranch
saved $1.19
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
Posts: 29,560
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Niffla]
#22238632 - 09/14/15 08:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Epic heist 
Next time try going to the bulk section and mislabeling the trail mix as just peanuts.. you're practically going to save 3$ a lb.
Shwwwing. Cha ching.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: twighead]
#22238667 - 09/14/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
twighead said: Epic heist 
Next time try going to the bulk section and mislabeling the trail mix as just peanuts.. you're practically going to save 3$ a lb.
Shwwwing. Cha ching.
dude you just blew my mind
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Bigfeely123
Stranger
Registered: 01/30/15
Posts: 2,594
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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Niffla]
#22238698 - 09/14/15 09:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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OP, why in the world would you aspire to be a "professional" criminal? Come on man... I don't even know you but you're better than that.
Can a mod please lock this thread? This is not good for The Shroomery...
Edited by Bigfeely123 (09/14/15 09:20 PM)
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Kinko
Stranger



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Re: Guide to becoming a world-class criminal. [Re: Bigfeely123]
#22238749 - 09/14/15 09:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bigfeely123 said: OP, why in the world would you aspire to be a "professional" criminal? Come on man... I don't even know you but you're better than that.
Can a mod please lock this thread? This is not good for The Shroomery...[/quote. no bro it's not about becoming a criminal it's about knowing the ends and outs of being a criminal , you gain street knowledge and the power of knowing .. you never now
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