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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Afraid of Relationships
#22236169 - 09/14/15 11:27 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I've recently found that I've been becoming afraid of women. I don't have trouble talking to them, in fact that's the least difficult thing. My on & off partner of nearly 4 years just stopped talking to me a week or two ago.. This long drawn out 2month break up has been the most emotionally painful event in my life.
I want cuddle buddies but every time I meet an awesome woman, I just want to run away -- Im scared of relationships and all of the cuddle buddies that I have want something more than a cuddle buddy. I've become terrified of forming bonds with anyone (and I suppose this isn't exclusive to sexual relationships or women) because everyone just takes advantage of my kindness. Lately I've found myself balancing on the edge between wanting to start fights with random people and trying to be the most benevolent being I possibly can.
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Edited by empty space (09/14/15 01:32 PM)
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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I used to feel this way and stll do on occasion, although I don't really have much advice for you. It just sort of went away by itself
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Afraid of Relationships [Re: Sheekle]
#22236667 - 09/14/15 01:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What brought you to the point of feeling that way? What sorts of developments in your life led to change? Im pretty over feeling like this..
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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i dunno ive always been that way as far as i can remembe i think, prolly cuz when i was little in daycare some older girl traumatized me by making me kiss her a buncha times when i didnt wanna nd i felt this like deeply rooted psychological chance happen in my brain after.
i dunno i just grew out of it these past few years by seeing girls have feelings too
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 10 hours, 54 minutes
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Quote:
empty space said: I've recently found that I've been becoming afraid of women. I don't have trouble talking to them, in fact that's the least difficult thing. My on & off partner of nearly 4 years just stopped talking to me a week or two ago.. This long drawn out 2month break up has been the most emotionally painful event in my life.
I want cuddle buddies but every time I meet an awesome woman, I just want to run away -- Im scared of relationships and all of the cuddle buddies that I have want something more than a cuddle buddy. I've become terrified of forming bonds with anyone (and I suppose this isn't exclusive to sexual relationships or women) because everyone just takes advantage of my kindness. Lately I've found myself balancing on the edge between wanting to start fights with random people and trying to be the most benevolent being I possibly can.
Dude, are you me or something?
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Kinko
Stranger



Registered: 01/07/11
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 4 months, 29 days
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Re: Afraid of Relationships [Re: Sheekle] 1
#22236818 - 09/14/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: i dunno ive always been that way as far as i can remembe i think, prolly cuz when i was little in daycare some older girl traumatized me by making me kiss her a buncha times when i didnt wanna nd i felt this like deeply rooted psychological chance happen in my brain after.
i dunno i just grew out of it these past few years by seeing girls have feelings too
Definition of 1st world problems.
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bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
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Re: Afraid of Relationships [Re: Kinko]
#22238018 - 09/14/15 06:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kinko said: Definition of 1st world problems.
Pretty sure every people and culture in a country where free choosing of partners is common would have this problem
In fact there couldn't really be something less to do with money than this.
But whatever, internet asshole is so cool
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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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I feel you OP. You want a wifey but dont ya know. I love knowing I have someone to fall on and catch me but like I just love the chase equally as much. Also opening up to someone kinda scares me.
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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I met a girl a few months ago at a festival. While it normally takes a lot for someone to leave an impression, her energy and ideas blew my mind in 30 minutes of hanging out -- but this was a few days after my girlfriend left so I didnt pursue. I saw her again at another festival a few weeks ago. We hung out for a bit on her birthday and I had a similarly mind blowing experience. Im still very raw from my ex though.. I have a lot of self-work to do. Also she lives nearly 8 hours away from me so it feels like it would be stupid for me to put energy into building the relationship... Id rather let something happen naturally. With that being said, she changed my perspective on things to the point that other women I meet hardly impress me... they often do the opposite of impress me. It has taken the passion and excitement out of chasing women. I havent yet figured out if this is a good thing or a bad thing.. Probably good but when I do meet other women, I find myself afraid to form any kind of bond because I dont want to get wrapped up in something silly with someone who doesnt fit my life's structure. I feel like Im growing cold to most human beings. Maybe this is part of growing up.. if it is I dont like it. I work all of the time and dont get enough human to human contact.. Wish I had time to be more social. I spend a lot of my day wondering if the struggle is ever going to let up or if I will be tired my entire life. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up but Im not much of a fan of permanent solutions to temporary problems.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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I don't really understand your OP but, it just sounds like you have high standards for women that you want to date. Nothing wrong with that. Just do you until that right one comes along dude.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Alkohaul
33 Haunts Me

Registered: 07/17/07
Posts: 40
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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I feel this way time and time again. This is my life, the most valuable thing I have is time. So I give you my time, my heart and loyalty just so you can just leave? Our time is precious on this planet and I don't like wasting it on people who cheat or lie or who are just completely overly psychotic in nature. But after 27 years of life experience I know the red flags to look for, I know what I want and need out of a partner so I am not going to settle for less and neither should anyone else.
-------------------- I am nothing more than a fictional person in an individuals creative mind.
Edited by Alkohaul (09/20/15 04:22 PM)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Quote:
Sometimes I feel like I want to give up but Im not much of a fan of permanent solutions to temporary problems.
Wow,....you are the first person I have ever heard use that expression besides myself. The first time I heard it, it just knocked me over....what a perfect description of someone that is so depressed they are thinking of ending it.
Look op, alot of this feeling of inadequacy stems from just plain being young. Force yourself to stay out in the game and try treating everyone as you would like yourself to be treated. Engage all females in conversation.... large, small,young,old,black,white...all of them...You will eventually see that they have reservations and feelings and insecurities just like we do...eventually, you will see them as a remarkable creature full of ideas that you may never have believed. Oh, and one last tidbit ....Don't ever compare your insides to someone else's outsides. You often don't know what is truly going on under their hood. Many times, people in public put masks on to cover their hurts...they may come off as super secure and amazingly confident...only to be covering some deep insecurities and hurt.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Well I just got back from a festival. It was definitely the worst festival experience ive had in a while.. My ex called me the day before I left after ignoring me for weeks. She was seeking emotional support now that her fuck buddies finished passing through town. It sent me to the festival with a fucked up head. I couldn't even enjoy Tipper because it brought up such strong emotions to be without her there. Throughout the weekend I had so many interactions with beautiful women but I fucked them all up because I went into the festival with a dark mindset.
I'm tired of feeling like this... I was hoping the festival would help me get her out of my head but it actually made me feel worse. I'm attractive and have no problem attracting beautiful women but with the state of mind I've been in, I fuck up every interaction that I have. It makes me feel inadequate.. Also quite sexually frustrated which is something I haven't felt in years. At this point I'm kinda ready to give up fighting my vices and let myself sink deeper into drug dependency. The only time I feel ok anymore is when I'm blasted out of my gourd. I guess it's time for ketamine to be my girlfriend again.
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micro
bunbun has a gungun



Registered: 05/09/03
Posts: 7,532
Loc: Brick City
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hah, you make it sound like a means to an end
i'd only get some; set some limits
like i'm one to talk...
still, it's temporary and numbing yourself won't help in the longrun
in other news, i just ordered some 1,4-butandiol from a certain online auction site
-------------------- Any research paper or book for free (Avatar is Maxxy, a character by Mizzyam, RIP)
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Quote:
empty space said: Well I just got back from a festival. It was definitely the worst festival experience ive had in a while.. My ex called me the day before I left after ignoring me for weeks. She was seeking emotional support now that her fuck buddies finished passing through town. It sent me to the festival with a fucked up head. I couldn't even enjoy Tipper because it brought up such strong emotions to be without her there. Throughout the weekend I had so many interactions with beautiful women but I fucked them all up because I went into the festival with a dark mindset.
I'm tired of feeling like this... I was hoping the festival would help me get her out of my head but it actually made me feel worse. I'm attractive and have no problem attracting beautiful women but with the state of mind I've been in, I fuck up every interaction that I have. It makes me feel inadequate.. Also quite sexually frustrated which is something I haven't felt in years. At this point I'm kinda ready to give up fighting my vices and let myself sink deeper into drug dependency. The only time I feel ok anymore is when I'm blasted out of my gourd. I guess it's time for ketamine to be my girlfriend again.
Curious, op....when you were out and about at the festival....were you smoking weed? Way back when I smoked...it really fucked with my self esteem and confidence...I fared much better with maybe a couple of beers or something along those lines. That was one of the reasons I stopped smoking.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
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Your not as kind as you think you are.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Curious, op....when you were out and about at the festival....were you smoking weed? Way back when I smoked...it really fucked with my self esteem and confidence...I fared much better with maybe a couple of beers or something along those lines. That was one of the reasons I stopped smoking.
Not really only at night when I was trying to go to sleep. Plus all of the other festivals I went to this season were powerfully transformative experiences.. I've been going to festivals for 5+ years and this was one of the worst experiences I've had. Really the festival was great but I felt like such an alien.
Quote:
Love_spirit said: Your not as kind as you think you are.
Hey thanks for the advice bud. Same goes for you Mr "love spirit".
Do u think I don't know that I'm unkind right now? I'm depressed as fuck. I gave everything I could to my community for years until i had nothing, then my girl left me and I got robbed. So yeah im a little bitter. if you dont have anything helpful to contribute then gtfo.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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You seem a bit upset sir
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Quite an astute observation sherlock
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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I just don't get what you want people to tell you. You just sound kinda whiny and pathetic.
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I'm attractive and have no problem attracting beautiful women
Aww I bet its so hard being you
And then you use your whiny pathetic-ness as a justification to become addicted to drugs
Quote:
At this point I'm kinda ready to give up fighting my vices and let myself sink deeper into drug dependency.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Ykno, you know very little about my life or the things that have brought me where I am. Yeah I'm in a dark place in my life and my spirit doesn't quite match the physical presentation that I've worked to create for myself. Does it make you feel better about yourself to troll someone who is struggling in their life? To be honest that makes you seem pretty pathetic.
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Edited by empty space (09/23/15 06:23 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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I'm just giving you my opinion on the situation. Whether you consider it trolling or not is your prerogative.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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I consider it trolling based on the other filth that you post on this site. Nothing that you ever say anywhere is constructive. I don't get why you even post on my threads, you know I think you're a shithead (and if you haven't figured that out yet, that's a testament to your lack of intelligence). You want to get a rise out of people? well look you got a rise out of me now piss off and go touch yourself over it.
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Edited by empty space (09/23/15 06:33 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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I post plenty of constructive things on this site despite your limited interactions with me. I just don't understand why you're so mad
If you feel so strongly about my posts you should probably just put me on ignore
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Lol you post some tongue in cheek bullshit in a serious thread about someone struggling in their life story, call me names and then wonder why I'm mad? More than anything I feel bad for you its pretty sad that you find pleasure in this. Grow up kid
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Edited by empty space (09/23/15 06:40 PM)
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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How many times did you edit that post to finally get your point across? You're the one that needs to grow up, kid. Whining about first world, "I get so many bitches but I don't wanna commit to any of them because I'm immature."
I'm the one that needs to grow up? Your entire problem is based off your astonishing level of immaturity
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Maybe my problem has very little to do with "bitches" (grow up kid) and more to do with the fact the woman I loved drained me dry and then left me and I got robbed for thousands of dollars right as I'm about to start my own business and set my life straight. Which I still did anyway. And I don't want to commit to any of the new women in my life because none of them want the same thing out of life as I do and I'm still extremely emotionally vulnerable. How immature of me.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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How did you get robbed
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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I had thousands of dollars of glassware and artwork stolen from me at my friends wedding after party.
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empty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Ha even better my car got broken into tonight. Fuckers stole my computer & my backup hard drive with all of the music I've ever made. Lame as fuck.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Hey man, fuck a hater.. they can kiss my whole asshole. Nobody is going to hold your hand though. You just have to get comfortable being by yourself. That's it man. Some bright and shiny day someone will come out of nowhere and the whole snowball will start rolling again.. but not if you're all pissed off and drugged out of your mind.
Sounds like this chick is pretty taxing, maybe it's good she's gone. Chill out for a while, hang out in your den, lick your wounds and when you get that energy head on out there with your new perspective on life. Growing up 101.
You can either let this be the end of you, or the start of you. I know which side I've picked so far. Cheer up man, it's only life.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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