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OfflineTENGOp
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Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 26
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: zzripz]
    #22280511 - 09/23/15 08:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I haven't updated in a while, but sad to report that I fell back into some daily smoking after a short, 3 day respite - but more enlightened to my situation, I think.

For me, the first day is the hardest - but it's totally mental... and the more I focus on my 'potential' withdraw symptoms, the worse it's going to be.  But I also learned (and conveniently, always forget) how good I am at rationalizing things to myself.  It's really about occupying the time i think.

And tell me if i'm wrong on this, or I'm just placating myself to smoke more.  So I looked at stopping smoking like a black and white thing.  That I have to stop and can't touch it again.  And I don't think I can work like that, it's too binary for my life.  Like when I think of alcoholics - I think 12 step, while it has helped a ton of people, is not for everyone.  I want to learn to be responsible in the world I live in, and I think that includes knowing when and how much marijuana is appropriate to smoke.  That's not to stay that I shouldn't clean out for a week or 2 before reintroducing any smoking again - when quitting. 

Other than that, I think establishing a mediation practice again will help.  Commute stress and work stress is killer when trying to quit.  But that's kind of where I'd at.  A bit stuck.  But sorta randomly, I just signed up for personal training at the gym I go to.  I start that next week, hopefully that really helps too.


Edited by TENGOp (09/23/15 08:17 PM)


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Offlinezzripz
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Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: TENGOp]
    #22282510 - 09/24/15 08:10 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

we are all unique. And we all decide when we decide. When I toked it was, like I say religious. IE I could not envisage ever EVER giving it up. it was unthinkable.
Even when I was to get back together with an old friend who I found out had been near death, because of some disease, so had given up tokin (but she did weird shit like this. When we chilled out she would roll ordinary baccy like you do spliff!)I would try to get her toking again, and was pissed off when she refused.
What got me to really stop was worry about my health. I was never a really heavy toker, although i had  to have a toke everyday, but unlike others who put LOADS of draw/ganja/blow/weed in their spliffs I was known as being errm tight lol. This was because I was always paranoid running out of it.
But I combined toking with a sexual obsession, and it was possessing me and causing me psychosomatic problems so one day I just knew I HAD to quit and never looked back. I know you may find this weird, but we are talking years ago, and the shlf I kept my stash in a bag that I myself had painted the fabric and my mate made it--is STILL there. For some reason I wont touch it. The weed is still in there!!! it is not there as a kind oc ' maybe I will return to toking'--I cannot explain it. it is weird

IF you do not want to wholly quit, then yeah, reduce it if it is/if you are aware ift is not doing you good. toward the end I had reduced toking to ONE day. I always remember bragging about this in this volunteer job i was doing at a needle exchange, to a Jamaican woman. And she pulled a face and said 'why do it even ONE day', and I was real angry at that response lol. But now I can kinda understand it, from a non-smoker's perspective. But yet, do it your way. But know that if and when you ever choose to give it up entirely it is not the end of the world as you may imagine it


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OfflineTENGOp
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Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 26
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: zzripz]
    #22405728 - 10/19/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

zzripz, I really appreciate those words and your story - I like the 'we decide, when we decide'.  I wanted to 'bump' this thread and update my progress.

After my initial posting, I fell back into a heavy routine again.  Last Monday, seemed to be the time i 'decided'.  I was working out after work and I had been smoking all day and started a first rep of this heavy lift and instantly I got this sharp painful headache that started from the back of my neck to my eyes.  I had to stop and leave the gym because of this.  I think what happened is that, I already have high blood pressure, and smoking all day make it even higher, and some blood vessel or muscle just said 'no more'.  The headache lasted the next 3 days. 

And that seemed to be the trigger for me.  I just can't keep doing this - I'm hurting myself.  My last smoke was Wednesday and have been clean now for 5 days now, the longest streak in a while now and I'm not looking back.

I've had night sweats every night, painful stomach issues, insomnia, headaches, lethargy, and sometimes a ragey attitude - but I don't care.  I want out. 

I can feel myself coming back again, I'm reading now, I'm starting to think clearly again - and not feeling like my head is full of cotton anymore.  I've come to the realization that i've plateaued in any further material or spiritual growth if I continue to smoke.  If I can do this, everyone can.  I'm a very strong headed person and it's time I got strong headed about quitting! :sun:


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 53 minutes
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: TENGOp] * 1
    #22406851 - 10/20/15 12:22 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I smoked for 30 years and don't anymore. I can totally relate to what you are saying and dealing with. I think the most important thing to try to keep in mind is the motivation to smoke.

Why do people smoke weed and drink and get loaded in dozens of other ways? It's because we have a hard time being with ourselves and our feelings. We are terrified of ourselves and struggle to just sit in a room alone in silence. 

Although it sucks to quit, after 10 days sobrer, I felt so much better. Weed caused me a huge amount of depression and anxiety over three decades for me. I still want to smoke, especially when I have emotions that I want to numb. My mind offers up a continual list of excuses for smoking. It helps to give the voice in your head that encouages you to get high a name, like "Toker" or "Smokey" so when he pops in to your mind, you realize it's him and not you.

I wish you peace and ease during this difficult time and important transistion.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: TENGOp]
    #22415375 - 10/21/15 07:49 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

TENGOp said:
Hey Ya'll - I'm reaching out cause I'm really having a problem and it's inhibiting any further growth in my life spiritually or physically.  I'm a long time smoker ~12 years and I'm 30 now, been an everyday smoker for years, at a point I was up to an ounce a week for a while.  I got control of it last year and didn't smoke for like 8 months, but I just moved for a new job to a new state and I've started up again hard.  Worse yet, I now live in CO and have access to all the hash I can smoke. 

I have a long list of things I want to accomplish, but it all is words at this point, because my actions currently are to keep buying green.  I know I am using it to block out something, but don't really know what the underlying issue is and part of me is afraid to find out.  I do sincerly want to get control of this, I don't think marijuana will ever be out of my life.  I just wish I could just smoke a bowl, set it down and walk away.  The thing I say about how I smoke, is that I smoke until I wake up the next morning.  Any advice would be appreciated!!



Stop being a pussy and quit smoking. It really isn't that hard.


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OfflineTENGOp
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Registered: 12/06/14
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Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22415711 - 10/21/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks RJ! I really like the idea of naming the voice :cool:


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Offlinecvh
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Registered: 09/18/15
Posts: 57
Loc: Mainland Western Europe
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: TENGOp]
    #22430934 - 10/25/15 08:43 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

I have smoked daily for a decade. It left me depressed, socially retarted with anxiety issues, been even hopsitalized in a mental institution after the so many failed suicide attempt.
After quitting (it was hard at first) I became a completely different person. Almost happy in life. Now almost a decade later I'm still picking up the pieces, but I'm no longer the crazy paranoid drug addict I once was. I still live in a crappy house but things are still changing for the better. I almost have zero social anxiety and have a job wich pays above the avarage in my country (I'm actually a very intelligent person).

My advice is to just take the plunge and quit. The trick for me was the realisation that all my problems were caused by my drug abuse and bad parents. Aftet that I didn't even liked it when I was high/stoned, It made me feel crazy. Not to smoke made me feel normal. And not the other way around.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you still like it how you feel when you have smoked?
Do you have decent job/education and housing conditions?
Can you manage all the things in life?
Are you afraid of going into a store or talking to strangers?
How's you relation with family, friends and neighbours?


--------------------
:mushroom2:


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OfflineMatt87
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Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 3,339
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 3 days, 20 hours
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: cvh] * 1
    #22431000 - 10/25/15 09:03 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

cvh said:
I have smoked daily for a decade. It left me depressed, socially retarted with anxiety issues, been even hopsitalized in a mental institution after the so many failed suicide attempt.
After quitting (it was hard at first) I became a completely different person. Almost happy in life. Now almost a decade later I'm still picking up the pieces, but I'm no longer the crazy paranoid drug addict I once was. I still live in a crappy house but things are still changing for the better. I almost have zero social anxiety and have a job wich pays above the avarage in my country (I'm actually a very intelligent person).

My advice is to just take the plunge and quit. The trick for me was the realisation that all my problems were caused by my drug abuse and bad parents. Aftet that I didn't even liked it when I was high/stoned, It made me feel crazy. Not to smoke made me feel normal. And not the other way around.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you still like it how you feel when you have smoked?
Do you have decent job/education and housing conditions?
Can you manage all the things in life?
Are you afraid of going into a store or talking to strangers?
How's you relation with family, friends and neighbours?



Sounds like you could just be a loser. You were depressed, anxious, and hospitalized from weed? I don't think so man.


--------------------

Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. -Musashi


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Invisibleeeso
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Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 554
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Matt87]
    #22435092 - 10/26/15 08:53 AM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Depressed, anxious, and hospitalized from weed is all completely reasonable.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 53 minutes
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Matt87]
    #22450417 - 10/29/15 06:28 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Matt87 said:
Sounds like you could just be a loser. You were depressed, anxious, and hospitalized from weed? I don't think so man.




I can totally relate to cvh.    Yeah, that trivial thing we call "weed" AKA "compassionate medicine" can have significant negative consequences.

I smoked for over 30 years and had no idea weed greatly contributed to my anxiety and depression. My brain had various ways to convince me to ignore that fact . . .


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Matt87]
    #22450448 - 10/29/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Matt87 said:
Quote:

cvh said:
I have smoked daily for a decade. It left me depressed, socially retarted with anxiety issues, been even hopsitalized in a mental institution after the so many failed suicide attempt.
After quitting (it was hard at first) I became a completely different person. Almost happy in life. Now almost a decade later I'm still picking up the pieces, but I'm no longer the crazy paranoid drug addict I once was. I still live in a crappy house but things are still changing for the better. I almost have zero social anxiety and have a job wich pays above the avarage in my country (I'm actually a very intelligent person).

My advice is to just take the plunge and quit. The trick for me was the realisation that all my problems were caused by my drug abuse and bad parents. Aftet that I didn't even liked it when I was high/stoned, It made me feel crazy. Not to smoke made me feel normal. And not the other way around.

Ask yourself the following questions:
Do you still like it how you feel when you have smoked?
Do you have decent job/education and housing conditions?
Can you manage all the things in life?
Are you afraid of going into a store or talking to strangers?
How's you relation with family, friends and neighbours?



Sounds like you could just be a loser. You were depressed, anxious, and hospitalized from weed? I don't think so man.



:yeahthatsfunny:
Seriously.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 8 hours, 53 minutes
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #22463980 - 11/01/15 07:43 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:



Malcolm_Xtasy said:

Seriously.






Psychoactive drugs change brain chemistry. When someone reacts negatively to a psychoactive drug, that doesn't make them a loser. A loser is someone who mocks people for their decisions, for example, to improve their life. Many people have told me they stopped smoking weed because it made them so depressed and anxious.

But it's sacrilegious to acknowledge any negative effects of pot because cannabis is now viewed as a type of holy medicine and a gift from God. I wish I had known about the negative impacts of pot on mental health 25 years ago. Pot has a huge effect on how my mind functions.


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #22463988 - 11/01/15 07:45 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

I cut down on my weed usage for those exact reasons. But cmon.. suicide attempts and mental hospitals all over quitting bud? Gimme a fuckin breaak :lol:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEzuma
Gontish Wizard
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Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,423
Loc: Roke
Last seen: 10 months, 21 days
Re: Help me take control of my marijuana habit [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #22468889 - 11/02/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 2 months ago)

clearly he's got some other problems, but I think the point is the weed wasn't helping, which I could totally see.


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