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Shop: Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Offlineaciddrop
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So what now?
    #22220703 - 09/11/15 08:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I guess everything in this universe exists as a paradox. Truth is Falsehood and Falsehood is Truth. Everything in existence exists as infinite and one. Everything is real and everything is nothing at the same time. There is no difference between the inner and outer universe. Everything in my known universe exists as an extension of me. As long as I make it real it becomes real. There are no Gods where I am because I'm the only God that is.

Knowledge is power but how can you live with knowledge?

What does it mean to just live when your happiness hurts the ones you love? People just don't seem to comprehend that nothing matters.

The world I've built around me would cause people a lot of pain if I decided to just live. I can't live when the world would come crashing down on me if I took that final leap. Is death the only option?

Hit the reset button. It's not like it matters when you know that we never really die. I don't know. This is just my current thoughts at the time.


Edited by aciddrop (09/11/15 08:29 AM)


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22220779 - 09/11/15 08:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Where to now St. Peter?
Show me which road I'm on
Which road I'm on...-EJ


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: So what now? [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22221126 - 09/11/15 09:58 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Oh, dreadful angel of mine
Enrich me with the vastness of being

Rigid father, teach me how to comprehend
I'll commit myself to understand
To be faithful and the instrument
So that the ones with blindfolds can see what I have seen

That there is nothing in between
For I am the accomplice...


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22221406 - 09/11/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

No matter, never mind, No mind, never matter. Either way it works, says BE HERE NOW. Everything matters, in form. That is to say, everything that is, takes form, takes matter. You are a sentient being with form, therefore you have taken form, taken matter, you matter. As far as the Formless is concerned: Yes there is the Eternal, but if you liken Eternity to sugar - sugar doesn't experience its own sweetness. In form, being separate from the sugar, you are able to appreciate its sweetness. Eventually you'll go back to being sugar again. Appreciate the sweetness while you can in form and time.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: So what now? [Re: MarkostheGnostic] * 1
    #22221808 - 09/11/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Why does it matter if I'll never be complete in this world? Intellectually I understand the beauty and splendor that life has to offer but emotionally I swallowed a very bitter pill. I really hate this world. No amount of meditation, shrooms, drugs or philosophy has ever fixed this feeling and believe me I've tried.

The occult, new age, philosophical world we live in doesn't know shit. The gurus or "enlightened" give people answers like "just live" or if you want money "go get money" or "if you want sex have sex". These answers don't solve anything because I know I have to do everything myself but I'm bound. Things are hard especially when all your life you've had your back against the wall.

The mundane is mundane. Let go of the mundane and dissolve into nothing. What is life when you are nothing? I see both sides and the adversary in me is overbearing. The only answer I'm looking for is how to end it for eternity. Reunite with chaos? Plunge my soul in the deepest hole in the abyss? I'm already there. I'd rather not exist on any level than to ever breathe another breath of this hell. But of course I made this hell and there is no escape.


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Invisiblecez
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22221925 - 09/11/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Why not dream up a heaven and work to get it?


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OfflineFishOilTheKid
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Re: So what now? [Re: cez]
    #22222184 - 09/11/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

I'd rather not exist on any level than to ever breathe another breath of this hell. But of course I made this hell and there is no escape.




Can you expand on the nature of the hell that you created and how?

I feel I'm possessed by beings from a hell realm and I fear there is no going back.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22223583 - 09/11/15 06:49 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Unfortunately, I cannot know you from here, neither can I unravel the riddles you choose to write. Life is unsatisfying to you, but I do not get the impression your existence is ridden with terminal illness, blindness, deformity, amputation, or a long prison sentence. If you admit that you've created your own private Hell, then choose to unmake it, or don't. Obviously you are identified with the Tollean "pain body" and apparently want to romanticize pain. Pain does not impart specialness, we all experience pain like we all expel unusable Carbon dioxide. Both are a concomitant to human existence. Either you choose to focus on the whole or you continue to filter out all the positive and indulge in the negative. You're out of balance. If you need help getting back in balance then get help. Nobody drills and fills their own dental cavities, neither do we help ourselves with mental health counseling if we need it. Like the rest of us, death is inevitable, but whining about it before you absolutely have to die must serve your unfulfilled needs for attention, empathy, understanding, or God knows what else. I don't want anyone to cut short their ordained life-span because it s a big fucking mistake except under extenuating circumstances. Consider seeking some assistance because you're expressing life as a big-ass bummer when that is a stilted perception that begs for serious tweaking.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflinePeyote Road
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Re: So what now? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22223959 - 09/11/15 08:02 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
No matter, never mind, No mind, never matter. Either way it works, says BE HERE NOW. Everything matters, in form. That is to say, everything that is, takes form, takes matter. You are a sentient being with form, therefore you have taken form, taken matter, you matter. As far as the Formless is concerned: Yes there is the Eternal, but if you liken Eternity to sugar - sugar doesn't experience its own sweetness. In form, being separate from the sugar, you are able to appreciate its sweetness. Eventually you'll go back to being sugar again. Appreciate the sweetness while you can in form and time.




Ramana Maharshi said that was a ridiculous comparison because God is not insentient like sugar, the implication being that God could experience his own sweetness I think. Unless I am missing something.


--------------------
The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra


Edited by Peyote Road (09/11/15 08:02 PM)


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Offlinedeff
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Re: So what now? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #22223975 - 09/11/15 08:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

yes it's similar in tibetan buddhism where the mind is said to be self-luminous (cognizant of itself and its activity)


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: Peyote Road]
    #22224588 - 09/11/15 10:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I was paraphrasing Ram Dass. Maharshi was probably not so concrete-minded that he couldn't appreciate a metaphor in the context in which it was given. We can know that WE are self-reflective, but many thinkers have suggested that God is Unconscious, and dreams the universe in order to have conscious experience.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: So what now? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22225882 - 09/12/15 06:28 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
Unfortunately, I cannot know you from here, neither can I unravel the riddles you choose to write. Life is unsatisfying to you, but I do not get the impression your existence is ridden with terminal illness, blindness, deformity, amputation, or a long prison sentence. If you admit that you've created your own private Hell, then choose to unmake it, or don't. Obviously you are identified with the Tollean "pain body" and apparently want to romanticize pain. Pain does not impart specialness, we all experience pain like we all expel unusable Carbon dioxide. Both are a concomitant to human existence. Either you choose to focus on the whole or you continue to filter out all the positive and indulge in the negative. You're out of balance. If you need help getting back in balance then get help. Nobody drills and fills their own dental cavities, neither do we help ourselves with mental health counseling if we need it. Like the rest of us, death is inevitable, but whining about it before you absolutely have to die must serve your unfulfilled needs for attention, empathy, understanding, or God knows what else. I don't want anyone to cut short their ordained life-span because it s a big fucking mistake except under extenuating circumstances. Consider seeking some assistance because you're expressing life as a big-ass bummer when that is a stilted perception that begs for serious tweaking.




Perhaps I do romanticize pain, suffering and death. The reason why I'm talking in riddles because I have looked for the truth myself and I know all the answers that "enlightened" folk tend to give. They make shit sound easy and life is far from easy for some people who are given certain circumstances that they were born in.

It's like the lhp community. These motherfuckers, project an image of success or were born in a life that has given them good looks, money and plenty of women and they act like if you don't have these things then there is something wrong with you. Christianity is like this to.

My question is how can you truly be fulfilled by denying the flesh of worldly pleasures? No man will ever be complete if they don't know what it's like to have people love them, have money to buy pleasant things, have sex with a beautiful woman ect. ect.

Some people can't ever have these things because the world or the circumstances of life simply doesn't allow it. I've experienced wholeness but that doesn't fix day to day life. Furthermore this wholeness could be just a cosmic trick or delusion caused by taking drugs or meditation. All mammals have a pineal gland and it's purpose is to help you to accept death in a peaceful manner by releasing dmt. There is no wholeness because it's just a trick induced by "drunkenness" of the mind.

Life is hard and just living is bullshit in my opinion. There are no Gods or universal wholeness because it's just you stuck in a cycle of perpetual reincarnation if you believe in such a thing. Reverting back to a state of nothingness before this cosmic joke was invented seems like the only way to pursue true freedom.


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop] * 1
    #22226287 - 09/12/15 09:18 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

"The trick is being free in form, not free of form"

One of my favorite Ram Dass quotes.

How?

Inquire within

:peace:


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22227224 - 09/12/15 01:55 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

"Perhaps I do romanticize pain, suffering and death. The reason why I'm talking in riddles because I have looked for the truth myself and I know all the answers that "enlightened" folk tend to give. They make shit sound easy and life is far from easy for some people who are given certain circumstances that they were born in.

It's like the lhp community. These motherfuckers, project an image of success or were born in a life that has given them good looks, money and plenty of women and they act like if you don't have these things then there is something wrong with you. Christianity is like this to.

My question is how can you truly be fulfilled by denying the flesh of worldly pleasures? No man will ever be complete if they don't know what it's like to have people love them, have money to buy pleasant things, have sex with a beautiful woman ect. ect.

Some people can't ever have these things because the world or the circumstances of life simply doesn't allow it. I've experienced wholeness but that doesn't fix day to day life. Furthermore this wholeness could be just a cosmic trick or delusion caused by taking drugs or meditation. All mammals have a pineal gland and it's purpose is to help you to accept death in a peaceful manner by releasing dmt. There is no wholeness because it's just a trick induced by "drunkenness" of the mind."





An honest and well-written response! :thumbup: But, several of your premises should be explored for accuracy. You are responding emotionally to ideas which you have absolutized, and having made them absolutely true in your mind as such has resulted in feelings of despair.

I did not come from money, but I am OK financially. I will not purchase a luxury car or a house that makes me house-poor, and I worked as an educator, but I saved and invested. It is true that I inherited some money, but aside from $11,000 for hurricane shutters (not a fun investment) I haven't touched the money. We live on a modest pension and rental money from the apartment my wife inherited from her mother when she died. I do sporadic work as a hypnotherapist. We live frugally, and she is not a demanding woman. House and cars are paid for and we have no debt. This brings me to another point.

My wife is beautiful and she asked ME out originally. I was not interested in her particular brand of beauty, but after we got to know one another, my eyes were more and more opened to it. I always pursued blondes (up to my psycho ex-wife), and here was a Nigerian-Jamaican woman. Funny how love can transcend one's cultural and fetishistic preferences. I am still attracted to blondes, but they also have to be educated and intelligent, not some tatted-up mindless bimbos, regardless of their physical attributes. Since I am a moral and loyal man, it wouldn't matter anyway even given an opportunity. Unlike all the beautiful women I gave my business cards to, THIS woman called me up whereas none of the numerous others did. It is never a matter of what WE desire, it is up to the women. If you are pursuing physical beauty alone, it is a commodity that can be purchased. Love cannot be purchased while affection and sex can be. It is perfect to have them all together, but one has to work on attracting the right person. I'm not into the popular 'Law of Attraction' literature, but there IS some truth to it. You have to become the type of person you want to attract to yourself, in terms of values.

People DO have chemistry, and like very reactive atoms which are such because they are missing electrons in their outer shells and need them for stability, women who are very reactive and needy are out there trying desperately to strip others of their energies and resources. Over-the-top women are very common in Miami where I live, strutting around in the heat with tight jeans and stiletto heels, appealing to men's sexual and social status needs. For many or most of these women, that's all they're about, empty inside except for gold-digging greed for lifestyle. Even when 'chemical' stability is achieved through marriage, such woman do not assume the non-reactive status of a Noble gas (Helium, Xenon, Argon, Neon, etc.) which does not combine with other atoms. No nobility about them. Owing to their nature, they still seek to combine with others forming complex bonds (it's called infidelity). The most exaggerated femininity adorning a physically beautiful woman is often inversely proportional to the quality of their inner nature. I explained to my wife that some men can ONLY get attention from physically beautiful women in strip clubs, and as such the clubs may temporarily fill that particular need. But they won't date customers so social needs are not met. Obviously, it is a weak 'electron bond' which is melded by 'green-energy.' The bond lasts only so long as the green-energy keeps moving from patron to stripper in the form of dollar bills. There is no strong electron bond, and as for nuclear chemistry, that is not possible. Given this chemical metaphor, there will never be nuclear fusion between two people if only the weak outer shells of physical appearance are joining. Love is at the nucleus, while values, emotions, sexual and social shells surround the human 'atom' and bond like with like.

The pineal gland's release of DMT as a biological purpose for easing death is a hypothesis at best, not a fact. Neither is the pineal body necessarily the "seat of the soul" as some people insist upon, conflating medical science with metaphysics. That you feel so deceived by very nature itself sounds suspiciously like paranoid ideation. Wholeness is however, an experiential fact as you have admitted, but then doubting that affirmation again discloses paranoid ideation. This is just my perception from here, but it must be a painful condition of doubt to be living with on your side of the screen. I do not think it is accurate from my perceptive. Neither do I agree that life "is bullshit." Life IS hard for TOO too many human beings. Being a middle class American I have little to complain about in this land of clean water and electricity, but relative to where I am now, I have been poor, living completely on $113 dollars a week in 1982 dollars was still very difficult.  I had spent all of my life savings my first year in graduate school. When I divorced my ex-wife in 1992 after 9 years of marriage and 13 years of relationship, I had $5000, some books and music, a desk, a couple of chairs and lamps, a couple of rugs, and my beloved Dachshund Ben. I had lots and lots of failed romantic attempts (particularly difficult when I was 39 and never dated much as an introverted young man. Universities were where I lost my virginity, dated, and met my ex-wife. Suddenly I was in a big city and culturally did not belong in Miami).

I was not born into exceptional circumstances, nor with exceptional looks. I did have two parents and they did support me through college. That was a lot. Some of my friends went to better schools but dropped out or never developed personally, maritally, or professionally despite their decent beginnings. I learned from Ram Dass that it's all about working on oneself, doing sadhana, inner discipline.. "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" - Matthew 6:33 is a literal truth for me. I have learned this through repeated trials not of my own choosing. It is a spiritual truth. You either assume that it is true, place your faith in it and persevere, or you choose not to take it as truth and continue to spin your own wheels in futility. This is the BEST thing I can offer from here.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Offlineaciddrop
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Re: So what now? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22229943 - 09/13/15 04:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I've been going through a lot lately maybe I'll clarify some of this by telling you that I've had my Kundalini awakened.

This is something I wanted because I wanted to peer beyond the abyss and know the truth about life. I was dedicated to yoga and chakra work for the better half of a year and it made things really hard.

My entire world view and foundation was completely shattered. The life I had before was manageable but when I decided to undertake this nothing I did seemed to work. I found myself broke, barely having any money to afford tuna fish and bread. (not that I like this stuff it's just all I could afford to eat alongside with sink water lol)

I recently quit doing my work on these things because it was making life absolutely miserable. Now making the same amount of money, I have more money than I did while working with these things and since I quit the universe quit shaking me down for every dime, nickle and everything own.

I can't seem to put to rest the lower aspects(chakras)of myself. My desires have literally made me my own worse enemy because no matter what I do I can never really feel complete.

The way I see it and feel it is one extreme or the other. I could try and consciously let everything go like I was doing before hand and let the universe shit on me ( I did learn a lot about myself during these times) or quit living because the life I want is out of reach.

I don't see the point in middle ground or barely making it. If I have to live here then I should have the life that I want.

Personally, I feel like I was born in the wrong time. I feel like man should have the ability to fight and take the things he wants by force because there really is no good or evil.


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: So what now? [Re: aciddrop]
    #22229960 - 09/13/15 04:55 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

If worried to the point of nihilism, smoke DMT. There's nothing mundane about this world. :thumbup:


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: circastes]
    #22231342 - 09/13/15 11:55 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I feel like man should have the ability to fight and take the things he wants by force because there really is no good or evil.

I'm not down with this Machiavellian attitude at all. Neither do I agree in the least with your Nietzschean-like statement that "there is really no good or evil." Those categories may resolve into undifferentiated Oneness at a high level, but you are not at that high level since you are well-established in dualities, the predominant one being 'haves and have-nots.' I've heard that dismissal of good and evil from a sociopath, who it turned out had robbed me. Then, before I knew about it he wanted to treat me to some fun times - with my own money! He later did 10 years in Rahweh State Penitentiary in NJ for armed robbery, got out and died at age 38.

Goodness and evil have been variously described and I've spent a good deal of my life working to reduce the abstractions to simple practical terms. Ram Dass taught me that those things which alleviate suffering for others constitutes goodness, and those things which increase suffering are the crux of human evil. I have struggled to extend that to the animal kingdom as well. I appreciate that you've had bad times which is going to result in anger, frustration, resentment, and a whole other negative emotions IF you look around and continually compare yourself to the lot of others based upon what you see in the trappings of their lives. If you do not care to live a philosophical/spiritual existence but suffer because of inordinate, excessive desires, then it's your responsibility to take control of your runaway desires and childish feelings of entitlement. Or not. Your choice.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: So what now? [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #22232558 - 09/13/15 04:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

That's an amazing post all round Markos, but this analogy is a masterpiece! Love it!!

Quote:

MarkostheGnostic said:
People DO have chemistry, and like very reactive atoms which are such because they are missing electrons in their outer shells and need them for stability, women who are very reactive and needy are out there trying desperately to strip others of their energies and resources. Over-the-top women are very common in Miami where I live, strutting around in the heat with tight jeans and stiletto heels, appealing to men's sexual and social status needs. For many or most of these women, that's all they're about, empty inside except for gold-digging greed for lifestyle. Even when 'chemical' stability is achieved through marriage, such woman do not assume the non-reactive status of a Noble gas (Helium, Xenon, Argon, Neon, etc.) which does not combine with other atoms. No nobility about them. Owing to their nature, they still seek to combine with others forming complex bonds (it's called infidelity). The most exaggerated femininity adorning a physically beautiful woman is often inversely proportional to the quality of their inner nature. I explained to my wife that some men can ONLY get attention from physically beautiful women in strip clubs, and as such the clubs may temporarily fill that particular need. But they won't date customers so social needs are not met. Obviously, it is a weak 'electron bond' which is melded by 'green-energy.' The bond lasts only so long as the green-energy keeps moving from patron to stripper in the form of dollar bills. There is no strong electron bond, and as for nuclear chemistry, that is not possible. Given this chemical metaphor, there will never be nuclear fusion between two people if only the weak outer shells of physical appearance are joining. Love is at the nucleus, while values, emotions, sexual and social shells surround the human 'atom' and bond like with like.




--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: So what now? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22233244 - 09/13/15 06:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:cheers: JSB. Thanks for staying with the metaphor. I wondered if it was too much.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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