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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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"Nater the Masturbater" 1
#22217584 - 09/10/15 04:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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When I was in Chicago for the 4th of July weekend Dead50 shows this Summer, me and my friends were wandering around the streets one night and saw some dude with dreadlocks pacing around by himself on a street corner.
My friend yelled, "hey kevin!" to him. He did this as a joke to see the dude's reaction. None of us had ever met this dude before. He came over to us, and starting going on this tirade. "Guys! My fucking day man! Don't you guys wanna hear about what happened today! This is real life man! I met Neil Young today! This is seriously real shit right here, I fucking met Neil Young today in a Burger King, and he was barefoot!"
He then went onto explain to us how the friend he was with at the show and him got separated, and he missed the train back to his hometown in Wisconsin. He said that earlier in the day, he got arrested for 2 grams of pot in Indiana, and had to bail himself out of jail with $15,000.
Then, at some point in his tirade, he stopped talking and walked down the street. We all stood there and watched as he walked about 50 feet away from us, turned right back around, and came all the way back to continue on with his rant.
His phone was dead, so he couldn't contact anybody to pick him up. So, I suggested the idea that we let him come to our hotel and charge his phone. He seemed like a harmless guy.
We get to our hotel room and he begins talking to his friend on the phone, talking about how he's tripping and the floor is melting, and how all of us are the "nicest people ever" and explains to his friend how we let him into our room. At one point he put the phone down and continued talking out loud to his friend, without it being on speakerphone. Pretty sure his friend couldn't hear him.
We asked him what his name is, and he says it's "Nate. Nater the masturbater."
He then went onto explain how he got "scammed" at the show tonight for almost $200. I asked him what he meant by that, and he was like "Dude, scammers man. Like, people that go to Grateful Dead shows and scam people on acid. There was so many people scamming me, and because they all look like me, I thought I was scamming myself!".
At one point I played the song Franklin's Tower by the Grateful Dead on guitar, and he sang to it. He actually sang extremely on key and in pitch, aside from the fact that his lyrics were completely all over the place. We all chanted "ROLL AWAY, THE DEW" together though.
He kept saying that I was "just like him 20-30 years ago." even though he was only 30 or so. Which would make me like 0-10.
Later on we were all sitting out in front of the hotel, drinking beer in the middle of the night, and he looked at me and was like "WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING? ALWAYS PUTTING ON DEODORANT OR SOMETHING!?!? STOP DOIN THAT!!!" and ran over to me with a big smile to try and stop my from scratching my ribs/armpit area because I always do that without thinking when I'm tired.
We also at one point found out that he was bald on top of his head, aside from having dreads on the side. My friend asked him if he could tie his locks up on the back, to which Nate responded by saying "oh just keep em bro. Keep 'em FooOOOoooOoOoreevverrrrr" and shook his head to the side to make his dreads go all over the place. What a great person to offer my friend the dreads right off his head like that.
Then at one point he says, "That's Zac Efron! Right over there! That's Zac Efron that just walked by with two strippers!". Me and my friend went over to investigate the direction that he said Zac Efron was walking, and did not see a single soul.
At about 6am after a night of partying we all were heading into the hotel to go to sleep, and I was like "alright man, we got the key so if you want to come in and sleep then come in now." He was like, "Oh, I'm straight man. I'm just chillin here." as he continued chatting with the hotel neighbors. Then I gave him my number so he could hit me up to party with the next day but he never got at me.
That was the last I ever saw of him.
The next day we found a mysterious pair of cheetah sunglasses in our hotel room.
Intelligently discuss the tale of Nate
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,864
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle] 1
#22217588 - 09/10/15 04:26 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Boring, didn't read.
Edited by 1234go (09/10/15 04:31 PM)
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Atreyu
Never Ending


Registered: 03/18/14
Posts: 4,083
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: 1234go] 3
#22217604 - 09/10/15 04:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You met your future self.
It's obvious.
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つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: 1234go] 1
#22217615 - 09/10/15 04:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
1234go said: Boring, didn't read.
Damn, I should probably put you on ignore for that.
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,864
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle] 2
#22217626 - 09/10/15 04:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Totally, you have ignored for less.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: 1234go] 1
#22217630 - 09/10/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's a really good story, far from boring. If you can't take the time to read less than a page, than your attention span is so trash dude.
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: 1234go] 1
#22217632 - 09/10/15 04:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You have to keep those cheetah sunglasses as a good luck charm
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle]
#22217644 - 09/10/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'd like to meet him, even if it's Sheekle's future self. I hope he got back home alright.
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Enlil
OTD God-King




Registered: 08/16/03
Posts: 65,505
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: pachoo]
#22217649 - 09/10/15 04:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm sure he's face down dead in a pool of his own vomit. No big loss.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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1234go
Ban Lotto Champion


Registered: 07/08/09
Posts: 53,864
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle] 2
#22217650 - 09/10/15 04:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sheekle said: It's a really good story, far from boring. If you can't take the time to read less than a page, than your attention span is so trash dude.
My attention span is pretty bad, I won't lie. I was just trying to be popular and get +1's.
I'm sure it's a great story, but you did get pretty stryhrt from my post. I wasn't being serious.
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impatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard



Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle]
#22217654 - 09/10/15 04:42 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Atreyu said: You met your future self.
It's obvious.
Hahahaha good point lol
"Your just like me 20to30 years ago" future self who is actually like 70 but doesn't look it. As they have "young again" technology in the year 2040. Duh.
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Enlil]
#22217685 - 09/10/15 04:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enlil said: I'm sure he's face down dead in a pool of his own vomit. No big loss.
50/50 reality possibility. But he's doesn't seem like the worst thing walking around. I wouldn't be apathetic to his death if the case.
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Enlil
OTD God-King




Registered: 08/16/03
Posts: 65,505
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: pachoo]
#22217701 - 09/10/15 04:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm apathetic to his life, so I'm surely apathetic to his death. There's a 90% chance that he only lives in the imagination of sheekle, either way.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Enlil]
#22217708 - 09/10/15 04:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enlil said: There's a 90% chance that he only lives in the imagination of sheekle, either way.
u should be sent to life in prison for slander
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Enlil
OTD God-King




Registered: 08/16/03
Posts: 65,505
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle]
#22217713 - 09/10/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Slander only applies to spoken words, genius. Libel is defamation in permanent form.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Enlil]
#22217716 - 09/10/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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u should be sent to life in prison for libel
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Enlil
OTD God-King




Registered: 08/16/03
Posts: 65,505
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle]
#22217732 - 09/10/15 05:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Libel is a tort, not a crime. You can't go to jail for it in the U.S.
You should be sent to life in prison for kidnapping some poor kid with dreads and molesting him in your hotel room just for youtube fame.
-------------------- Censoring opposing views since 2014. Ask an Attorney Fuck the Amish
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle]
#22217789 - 09/10/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think nate was just a figment of your imagination.
he only exists in your mind man.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: "Nater the Masturbater" [Re: Sheekle] 1
#22217802 - 09/10/15 05:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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This thread needs more masturbation
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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^^ true.
thread doesn't deliver.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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