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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Relationship [Re: Achillita]
    #22220295 - 09/11/15 06:08 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:justno:

No you weren't :ohyou:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: Relationship [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #22220303 - 09/11/15 06:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:smileandnod:


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Relationship [Re: Achillita]
    #22220305 - 09/11/15 06:12 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Op how old are you


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineEnjoywho
Rags to Bitches
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Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Relationship [Re: Achillita]
    #22220631 - 09/11/15 08:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

He can't he's got involved in a lease with her.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: Relationship [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22220679 - 09/11/15 08:13 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I mean, like after the lease breaks, or if he really wants to get it over with, just pay for your share and move in with your brother for the time being. I know that'd suck, but IMO, it's better than being in a relationship you're not happy with.


--------------------


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol] * 1
    #22220701 - 09/11/15 08:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Dude you say you argue like a married couple I am nine years married and my wfe
And
I almost never fight or argue we get along amazing we
Share the same interests and we are happy. You are making a huge mistake accepting this dysfunctional relationship as some kind of
Inevitable permanent thing,

Sounds
To me like your ideas about relationships are
Damaged
And you are accepting a
Relationship that isn't good
Or healthy.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineAchillita
Back to the basics
Male


Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
Re: Relationship [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22220722 - 09/11/15 08:25 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I think there are stages in a relationship where you argue more often or less. Me and my girlfriend argued like every other week like a year ago, but now we haven't for like a month at least. When we first started dating we never argued. There's just a point where you've argued about pretty much anything that you could argue about and live much more smoothly. That's just my :twocents::twocents:

But I agree, it doesn't sound too much like a good relationship. Especially when he says it's mostly out of convenience or he's tried to break up with her but she just begs him and he can't say no...


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OfflineEnjoywho
Rags to Bitches
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Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Relationship [Re: Achillita]
    #22220749 - 09/11/15 08:35 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You can't win em all op. But don't let your desire to not be lonely make you settle. It's a big ass world and there are a lot of people out there. Trust me i get it but back to the grind.

And i love talkin to pretty girls I'll tell you that much.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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InvisibleOhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita Flag
Re: Relationship [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22220767 - 09/11/15 08:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Dude you say you argue like a married couple I am nine years married and my wfe
And
I almost never fight or argue we get along amazing we
Share the same interests and we are happy. You are making a huge mistake accepting this dysfunctional relationship as some kind of
Inevitable permanent thing,

Sounds
To me like your ideas about relationships are
Damaged
And you are accepting a
Relationship that isn't good
Or healthy.




This

Plenty of fish in the sea OP, don't get hung up on one


--------------------

Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace..
Once and for all!


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OfflineBumbaa
Lol You Can Change this

Registered: 08/29/15
Posts: 295
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22221053 - 09/11/15 09:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You should just say; let me try it once,and if it improves your relationship i'll use once a while. For the mush,and you'll only smoke weed when you do mush.

Who said Relationship were ever fair. I personally believe piscolob it is for the good that she tells you not to use. But mushroom pretty good,safe,clean, I don't feel the same way on the usage of marijuana daily


--------------------
Why so much hate mate?


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: Relationship [Re: Bumbaa]
    #22221410 - 09/11/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

OP...After having read through this thread....I see so much more wrong with this relationship than could ever possibly be right.

Take my word for it, her crying will eventually mean less and less to you as you will see it as a ploy to get her way....it will make you feel cold and unfeeling inside and you will begin to question your own sensitivities.

This is just one example...but, the truth is, you are selling yourself short...you can do better.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Relationship [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22221443 - 09/11/15 11:23 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Did you see all my quotes a page ago? That chick sounds like a complete downer to be around


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Offlinetopdog82
Death Spirit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
Re: Relationship [Re: OhMrJohnson]
    #22221859 - 09/11/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Jesus. OP, do not get married. This is a horrible trainwreck disaster waiting to happen. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS GIRL.



Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Quote:

My significant other, and hopefully soon-to-be fiance, absolutely will not stand for any type of substance use.




Quote:

But she prefers to spend every minute of shared free time with me, and hates to be around the stuff.




Quote:


She doesn't like the fact that I'll be away from her, not sober minded,




Quote:

Nah man. She's a bit of a prude, sexually speaking. Won't even do oral.




Quote:

/I/ want to marry primarily because my parents were married my whole life, and I was always proud of that, growing up.




:imout: I can't wait for your "I'm getting a divorce" thread



Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Its not just the drugs. My gf isn't really that into drugs but she tries to learn because I enjoy them.

Any girl that isn't gonna blow me isn't marriage material IMO, let's just get that out the way :canthelpbutlaugh:

If she isn't blowing you now what do you think is gonna happen when you actually get married :lolsy:

Quote:

. She's got like, no friends. Always been shy, and has mild social anxiety. I have a whole group of friends, and two little brothers, who are all really awesome great guys, and I miss them terribly. I never see any of them now. I used to be around them every day, and they used to try to hang, whenever I started dating her, but gave up halfway through the first year.



Red flag

Quote:

ike, 4 out of 5 exes cheated on her.




I can see why



Quote:

JocivaFlcol said:
White trash as hell.

She's finally at a decent place in her life. Always been broke, we're able to save money together though...

Anyway. Another thing we don't agree on is religion. She believes there is a god and an afterlife, and that's fine with me. I just don't believe in anything that can't be proven empirically. She's fine with the fact that I don't believe. She just doesn't like to talk about what she believes, or what I do/don't believe. I like to talk about beliefs, it's something that interests me greatly. But I try to let it be, since I know she doesn't like it. But sometimes it gets brought up, and then we argue a bit...



Quote:

JocivaFlcol said:
From an outside observer's perspective, I know everything you're saying is the truth. I get that. I'm just too... afraid of change. I don't want it to end. And to start over again. I'm not naive, I realize all this stuff, I'm just... stupid I guess, I know where it's going, I just... I'm not willing to hit the eject button. But you are right, I came here for feedback. It's just implementing the advice that is the hard part.

Every time we agree to break up, she breaks down and starts crying "We were supposed to get married and have kids and a house and a future, I just want to die, you hurt me so much, make me wish I were dead"

And I cannot deal with that shit... She wouldn't self harm, never has, and if I were genuinely afraid she did, or she began to, I would have to involve the authorities, obviously. It's never gotten that far though.

Ultimately, whenever I try to go through with a breakup, she breaks down, and I cave. It's pathetic, I realize this. I just don't know what the fuck to do... How do I handle that? I cannot handle it emotionally. And I can't just walk out. Both of our names are on the lease too...

@Enjoywho: Yeah, crazy fights between us too. She can cook like a pro, though, too, so there's that. We're both ridiculously stubborn too.



Quote:

Achillita said:
If you are going to break up with her, and you can't stand her crying or whatever. Just break up with her, walk off, and take a week or so before you can talk to her again about why you did. It'll let you distance yourself and not have to  be sucked back in.

Look, if you're going to break up with her, just do it. Waiting longer and longer to do so is just going to hurt everyone in the long run. It'll hurt her more, because she'll think it could never happen. And it'll hurt you more because of what could have been or the time you lost with someone you don't love.

You came off saying you loved her a lot, and now you're saying you don't? Make up your mind :crankey:

Just kidding for the last part



Quote:

OhMrJohnson said:
Quote:

Moonshoe said:
Dude you say you argue like a married couple I am nine years married and my wfe
And
I almost never fight or argue we get along amazing we
Share the same interests and we are happy. You are making a huge mistake accepting this dysfunctional relationship as some kind of
Inevitable permanent thing,

Sounds
To me like your ideas about relationships are
Damaged
And you are accepting a
Relationship that isn't good
Or healthy.




This

Plenty of fish in the sea OP, don't get hung up on one






I just read through this entire thread. OP I am not sure you are going to take my advice or not but moonshoe and achtilla or watever are both 100% correct


GETTTTT OUTTTTT of this relationship. Breakup with her. Sadly there are messed people in the world but trying to fuck yourself up more but trying to fix her is pointless

Get out now. Do not resist. Have the lease end and then dump her. And then LEAVE

This is all a disaster waiting to happen. I have had this EXACT situation minus the fact we were going to get married. But this is an unhealthy relationship. I was deeply depressed and almost suicidal and only years later I realized that this girl and this kind of relationship with her tore me apart


BY ANY MEANS get out of the relationship and abort mission. I have been suicidally depressed on and off througohut my life. And women like this were the cause for at least 2-3 years of that depression

I just read every post in this thread and I think there is nothing but red flags. Please tell us if we are being to abbrasive. But IMO this is a disaster waiting to happen

I cannot put into words how similar of a situation I was in. LEAVE HER NOW and you will thank yourself and us shroomery posters later. I cannot emphasize how similar my situation was and how unhealthy it was


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Offlinetopdog82
Death Spirit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 2 days
Re: Relationship [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #22221889 - 09/11/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Did you see all my quotes a page ago? That chick sounds like a complete downer to be around



Quote:

Thayendanegea said:
OP...After having read through this thread....I see so much more wrong with this relationship than could ever possibly be right.

Take my word for it, her crying will eventually mean less and less to you as you will see it as a ploy to get her way....it will make you feel cold and unfeeling inside and you will begin to question your own sensitivities.

This is just one example...but, the truth is, you are selling yourself short...you can do better.



I just read through some of these posts again and OP you have no clue what you are getting into

GET OUTTTTTTTTTTTTT of this relationship


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
Stranger
Male
Registered: 04/19/13
Posts: 49
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: Relationship [Re: topdog82]
    #22224364 - 09/11/15 09:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You guys aren't being abrasive, just speaking honestly from experience, and I appreciate it so much.

I'm 23, I can't afford to break the lease, I'd have to pay out the rest of the year, and rent is $575/month. I don't make enough to break the lease.

We live together, and I can't throw her out, legally, as her name is on the lease too. She can't afford the rent, and I'm not a dick, so I'm not gonna just dump her and leave her high and dry with the rent. I've talked to her about me sleeping on the couch, her getting the bedroom, and we just stay through until the lease is up and then never see each other again. Then she just starts bawling, and I need the crying to stop, or I can't function, so I comfort her and say we'll deal with it later, forget I said anything, we don't have to breakup, everything's fine, etc.


I don't want to break up with her, primarily because if she didn't have a problem with cannabis or cubensis, then we'd be fine. The god shit is barely relevant, and hardly comes up.

I /do/ want to break up with her only if it means I don't have to deal with the fighting and the stress and the lack of personal freedom.

I'll be 24 in November, she'll be 21 in January.


As of right now, she wants to hold off on talking about breaking up until we pay for counselling, which I can understand and agree with, but ultimately what it's going to come down to is this; I'll do what I'm gonna do. Be who I am. And if she doesn't like it, and wants to try and stop me, I'll just walk away, let her deal with not liking it. If it bothers her so much, she can leave me, because that's how it's going to be.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22224598 - 09/11/15 10:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I am very religious and spiritual, my wife is anti-religion and not spiritual, its not a problem for us at all.

The drug thing is more of an issue, just tell her to deal with it and do what you want to do. When she sees it doesn't hurt anything she will get over it. You need to show her by using that she doesn't need to fear it.

USE DRUGS IN FRONT OF HER AND BREAK HER IN


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Male
Registered: 04/19/13
Posts: 49
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: Relationship [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22224634 - 09/11/15 10:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Right now we're trying to arrange for splitting the bills until she leaves.

She's agreed to leave, before the lease is up. So I'll just have to try and pay the rest of the year. Can probably get a room mate.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22224642 - 09/11/15 10:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

awesome :thumbup:

Trust me, this does not have the makings of a solid relationship. Even if you made it work, you would not realize you were missing out on a much better relationship you could be having with someone more compatible with you.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
Stranger
Male
Registered: 04/19/13
Posts: 49
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: Relationship [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22224649 - 09/11/15 10:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I like, I'm fine without being in a relationship ever. It's nice having someone, with the extra income, etc, but I don't need the responsibility to another human in my life.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22224658 - 09/11/15 10:21 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Hmm yeah the extra income is ok but if you meet the right person you want to spend all your time  with them, but its totally ok to be alone and happy with it , perhaps even better, so whatever you do don't sacrifice who you are , what you enjoy and what you care about and are interested in.

Either find someone who shares and supports what matters to you or be alone and love it, but don't ever settle for someone who constricts and limits you.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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