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Offlinenicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard
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Registered: 11/07/03
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219424 - 09/10/15 11:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Good for you man


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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Invisibler.lutece
gave Columbia her wings.
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Registered: 09/06/15
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Re: Relationship [Re: nicechrisman]
    #22219457 - 09/10/15 11:44 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Sounds like you guys had a nice, calm discussion where lots of things were talked about logically?


--------------------
One goes into an experiment knowing one might fail.
But one does not undertake an experiment knowing one HAS failed.


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Re: Relationship [Re: r.lutece]
    #22219472 - 09/10/15 11:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Well, it started out calm, then escalated to shouting, then calmed down again.

We still never reached an agreement on anything. But I'm putting my foot down. I'm not abstaining anymore. When and where I partake is all that she's complaining about now.


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Invisibler.lutece
gave Columbia her wings.
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219567 - 09/11/15 12:26 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:youthemandawg:


--------------------
One goes into an experiment knowing one might fail.
But one does not undertake an experiment knowing one HAS failed.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219646 - 09/11/15 12:48 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JocivaFlcol said:
Nah man. She's a bit of a prude, sexually speaking. Won't even do oral.

/I/ want to marry primarily because my parents were married my whole life, and I was always proud of that, growing up. Coming from a united home. I'd like my kids to be proud of that too, at least until they're old enough to understand life.




Wait so you can't go smoke a bowl if you want and your not even gettimg some head? :rolleyes: :rofl:


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
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Re: Relationship [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22219657 - 09/11/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

DSHSB


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Re: Relationship [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22219660 - 09/11/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

She'll go down, she just doesn't like it. Which is understandable, she was molested by her brother when she was 7. He's a worthless shithead.

It's not a big deal, honestly. I mean, head is great, but it's no deal breaker.


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219769 - 09/11/15 01:31 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What the fuck is up with her family..:confused2:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Re: Relationship [Re: Amanita86]
    #22219794 - 09/11/15 01:39 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

White trash as hell.

She's finally at a decent place in her life. Always been broke, we're able to save money together though...

Anyway. Another thing we don't agree on is religion. She believes there is a god and an afterlife, and that's fine with me. I just don't believe in anything that can't be proven empirically. She's fine with the fact that I don't believe. She just doesn't like to talk about what she believes, or what I do/don't believe. I like to talk about beliefs, it's something that interests me greatly. But I try to let it be, since I know she doesn't like it. But sometimes it gets brought up, and then we argue a bit...


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219798 - 09/11/15 01:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Ya'll argue a lot.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Re: Relationship [Re: Amanita86]
    #22219803 - 09/11/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, a lot. When we're not arguing, though, we're very happy. We like to go on walks together, watch movies, play Super Mario World or Minecraft, or Grand Theft Auto, watch Netflix, sit and talk about the future, go shopping, cook together.

We enjoy life together. We just argue more than anyone would be comfortable with...


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: Relationship [Re: Amanita86] * 2
    #22219805 - 09/11/15 01:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I see a lot of red flags in this relationship.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Re: Relationship [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22219813 - 09/11/15 01:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, initially, I didn't want a relationship. Let alone with her. She fell head over heels in love with me though, almost instantly. And I tried to break it off, multiple times, but like... I'm terrible at breaking up with a person... It's very difficult for me to be firm when the person is bawling their eyes out... Especially when I do have genuine feelings for her.


Edited by JocivaFlcol (09/11/15 02:00 AM)


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219852 - 09/11/15 02:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

JocivaFlcol said:
She fell head over heels in love with me though, almost instantly.



How is there any problem then? I mean if you were the one who pursued the relationship then some of this would maybe make sense. But she's the one that attached herself to you, and you also tried to break up with her multiple times but couldn't. Those two factors combined means you can basically do whatever the fuck you want. If she loves you that much, she'll love you for who you are, and if she doesn't, fuck it, you tried to break up with her already anyways. I mean I really don't see the issue here.

There are a lot of red flags I've seen you throw up already. The more you talk about the situation, the more I see.

I mean I can only speak from experience, but that god shit is gonna come up again at some point, and if you refuse to accept her belief, it's gonna cause a lot of issues. If you let her control you now and dictate what you do when you two aren't even married, it's gonna get worse. If she's not blowing you now and is a "prude" just wait til you're 2 years into marriage and sexually frustrated and see the nasty vile shit you say to her in a fit of rage in the middle of an argument. There's more I just don't feel like going back through to quote examples.

You can't bury this shit. You either fix it, or it bubbles back to the surface eventually. Married people are going to have arguments and disagreements, but when it's shit like this before you're even married, you're just setting yourself up for disaster.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleAmanita86
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Re: Relationship [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22219860 - 09/11/15 02:07 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

...and add a few kids into the mix.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Relationship [Re: Amanita86]
    #22219876 - 09/11/15 02:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's why i think dating should be telling someone the most fucked up shit about yourself.

I tell girls up front i used to be a drug addict but am 2+ years clean. Im an alcoholic now. Im not a mean drunk nor do i get blackout drunk very often. I just like to have a beer. Thos is who i am and who i used to be. Im an addict.

Dated this one girl recently for about 2 weeks. That was the reason we broke up. And i was like dude i fucking told you this. We went to this fair thingy and i had already spent damn near my whole paycheck with her and paid her phone bill.

Im an addict i knew i had just enough to get me to next paycheck. If they cant deal with it than fine whatever. Thats why i laid the terms and conditions down upfront.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Registered: 04/19/13
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Re: Relationship [Re: Enjoywho]
    #22219901 - 09/11/15 02:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, you're right.

I just like what we have right now. It's been mostly out of convenience. Like, I can't afford the apartment on my own, and neither can she. We have a car payment and shit too.

I want us to be able to work. Kids aren't really going to be much of a risk, she has poly-cystic fibrosis of the uterus. So, she'd have to take fertility treatments for even a shot at a kid.

I don't want it to end, and even if I did, I can't afford to live in this place on my own. When the lease ends in March, we could leave. I can stay at my brother's, I just can't afford to break lease. She can stay with her sister or wherever.

Anyway, we're basically already married. We split everything, argue like a married couple. Nothing would change with us being married, accept legally. And then a breakup would be expensive, and require a divorce lawyer.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: Relationship [Re: JocivaFlcol]
    #22219906 - 09/11/15 02:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

More flags.

It's a relationship of convenience = disaster. Kids aren't a risk = disaster (NEVER say never). Nothing would change if we were married = so far beyond incorrect I dunno what verb to call it.

I kinda seem like a bully pointing out all this shit, but you're posting here because you want feedback. But you seem kinda naive to this entire situation, incapable of looking at it objectively and have filled your head with best case scenarios just to justify keeping it going.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Re: Relationship [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22219927 - 09/11/15 02:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

My ex and i fought like cats and dogs. And we only dated for 2 months. She's 19 though and I'm 24. She pushed me down a flight of stairs and hit up side the head with a log.

Its fucked up that im not sad we broke up but i kinda am. The reason being she was a bomb ass cook and i loved having a good ass lunch at work every day. :lol:

Convenience.

Other than that it was all red flags. When we got along its pretty much exactly as you described you and your girl do. But we should not be fighting like that.

It always started with the smallest nonsense then it would escalate as she's stubborn as fuck but so am i. But i just leave the situation and im always in a cheery mood. I dont brood on shit why ruin another entire day?

I just wanna be with you and lounge ariund. Its in the past what the fuck are we even fighting over? :lol: Thats the way i look at it.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

"And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies

"Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"


Edited by Enjoywho (09/11/15 02:55 AM)


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OfflineJocivaFlcol
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Registered: 04/19/13
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Re: Relationship [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22219943 - 09/11/15 03:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

From an outside observer's perspective, I know everything you're saying is the truth. I get that. I'm just too... afraid of change. I don't want it to end. And to start over again. I'm not naive, I realize all this stuff, I'm just... stupid I guess, I know where it's going, I just... I'm not willing to hit the eject button. But you are right, I came here for feedback. It's just implementing the advice that is the hard part.

Every time we agree to break up, she breaks down and starts crying "We were supposed to get married and have kids and a house and a future, I just want to die, you hurt me so much, make me wish I were dead"

And I cannot deal with that shit... She wouldn't self harm, never has, and if I were genuinely afraid she did, or she began to, I would have to involve the authorities, obviously. It's never gotten that far though.

Ultimately, whenever I try to go through with a breakup, she breaks down, and I cave. It's pathetic, I realize this. I just don't know what the fuck to do... How do I handle that? I cannot handle it emotionally. And I can't just walk out. Both of our names are on the lease too...

@Enjoywho: Yeah, crazy fights between us too. She can cook like a pro, though, too, so there's that. We're both ridiculously stubborn too.


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