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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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That sucks. I am so happy my wife enjoys smoking flower with me daily, going dancing and rolling together occasionally, and even doing deems and drinking with me on occasion. We have such a great balance of enjoying substance use together responsibly and not doing harmful bad things.
For me I could never make it work with a girl who wasn't ok with me using at least some substances like cannabis and kratom.
So if It was me I would break it off and find a new girl.
Good luck.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: Relationship [Re: Moonshoe] 1
#22215549 - 09/10/15 05:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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My significant other, and hopefully soon-to-be fiance, absolutely will not stand for any type of substance use.
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But she prefers to spend every minute of shared free time with me, and hates to be around the stuff.
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She doesn't like the fact that I'll be away from her, not sober minded,
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Nah man. She's a bit of a prude, sexually speaking. Won't even do oral.
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/I/ want to marry primarily because my parents were married my whole life, and I was always proud of that, growing up.
I can't wait for your "I'm getting a divorce" thread
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Jesus. OP, do not get married. This is a horrible trainwreck disaster waiting to happen. DO NOT GET MARRIED TO THIS GIRL.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
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My girlfriend didn't like the idea of me tripping/smoking weed when we first started dating. Now at her worst she'll tolerate it, at her best she'll join in 
She wants to try all the strains, dabs, ect. She'll trip every other month as well. She hates the taste of mushrooms, and of mushroom tea, so I've found ways to make them taste better so she'll trip with me more .
Anyways, she just gotta accept you for you. Talk to her and let her know why you're doing this. If she doesn't understand, make it clear that it helps you. I understand loving her man, but if she truly loves you she'll accept this part of you. Just be clear to her that you'll make sure it doesn't consume your life.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Its not just the drugs. My gf isn't really that into drugs but she tries to learn because I enjoy them.
Any girl that isn't gonna blow me isn't marriage material IMO, let's just get that out the way
If she isn't blowing you now what do you think is gonna happen when you actually get married 
Quote:
. She's got like, no friends. Always been shy, and has mild social anxiety. I have a whole group of friends, and two little brothers, who are all really awesome great guys, and I miss them terribly. I never see any of them now. I used to be around them every day, and they used to try to hang, whenever I started dating her, but gave up halfway through the first year.
Red flag
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ike, 4 out of 5 exes cheated on her.
I can see why
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Fuck man all those quotes made it painfully obvious. Time to realize what's going on
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Quote:
JocivaFlcol said: My significant other, and hopefully soon-to-be fiance, absolutely will not stand for any type of substance use.
I used to smoke ganja on a daily basis, and trip on cubensis at least twice if not three or more times per year.
Since we've been dating, two year anniversary approaching in January, I've gotten to smoke twice. Once this past 420, with my brother, and once the Halloween prior. I tripped once the week I met her, 4 grams of cubensis, beautiful time.
Anyway, I feel ultimately she is what I want/need for my future. I'm 23, and since I've been dating her she's helped me to become organized, responsible, and helped me to save a lot of money. I now have a nice car, an apartment of my own, two cats, a lovely dog, nice things, etc.
I am happy with her, but we fight almost weekly about her unwillingness to accept my using these two favorite substances. She has a very poor view; druggie mom, wasn't there for her, caused her parents' divorce, etc.
TL;DR: I love this girl. She makes me happy. I just want to know this: Should I be accepting of her negative view, and just completely give up my two favorite things in the world? Or should I stand my ground, continue to advocate my right to use what nature has provided so graciously?
Help me out here guys, thanks a million.
If you would rather do drugs than be with your fiance you should leave her and keep doing drugs. Trust me on this she is better off without you. 23 year old young man who wants to keep acting like he is 17? Fuck that dude, spare that poor chick years of bullshit and go do what you wanna do. Its what you want eh
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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So using cannabis and psilocybin makes you 17
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Almond Flour
...get off my lawn!



Registered: 12/26/08
Posts: 11,340
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
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Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: So using cannabis and psilocybin makes you 17 
No....trading a loving supporting female and the ability to engage in the reproductive act (within marriage of course) for substance use makes you a 17 yr old school boi
-------------------- Hippies and Liberals love Pope Francis, so why dont I quote him for you guys. "There is NO SALVATION outside the Catholic Church"
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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I wouldn't. I hate seeing pussy whipped men.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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She isn't very supporting if she's trying to control everything in his life and won't blow him 
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Quote:
Almond Flour said:
Quote:
Rebelutionsssss said: So using cannabis and psilocybin makes you 17 
No....trading a loving supporting female and the ability to engage in the reproductive act (within marriage of course) for substance use makes you a 17 yr old school boi
Oh come on, he can find another loving supporting female who doesn't try to control his life and shares his interest and has friends and gives oral sex and any MAN would realize that. A 17 year old boy might be so insecure and weak willed that he would give up his whole personality and lifestyle for the first girl that fucks him (and won't even suck his dick).
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Everything I post is fiction.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Either be discreet and don't talk about your tripping or kick her to the curb. At least those would be my 2 options.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Quote:
Almond Flour said:
Quote:
JocivaFlcol said: My significant other, and hopefully soon-to-be fiance, absolutely will not stand for any type of substance use.
I used to smoke ganja on a daily basis, and trip on cubensis at least twice if not three or more times per year.
Since we've been dating, two year anniversary approaching in January, I've gotten to smoke twice. Once this past 420, with my brother, and once the Halloween prior. I tripped once the week I met her, 4 grams of cubensis, beautiful time.
Anyway, I feel ultimately she is what I want/need for my future. I'm 23, and since I've been dating her she's helped me to become organized, responsible, and helped me to save a lot of money. I now have a nice car, an apartment of my own, two cats, a lovely dog, nice things, etc.
I am happy with her, but we fight almost weekly about her unwillingness to accept my using these two favorite substances. She has a very poor view; druggie mom, wasn't there for her, caused her parents' divorce, etc.
TL;DR: I love this girl. She makes me happy. I just want to know this: Should I be accepting of her negative view, and just completely give up my two favorite things in the world? Or should I stand my ground, continue to advocate my right to use what nature has provided so graciously?
Help me out here guys, thanks a million.
If you would rather do drugs than be with your fiance you should leave her and keep doing drugs. Trust me on this she is better off without you. 23 year old young man who wants to keep acting like he is 17? Fuck that dude, spare that poor chick years of bullshit and go do what you wanna do. Its what you want eh 
You're back!
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Unless you two can come to a workable agreement....key word being "workable"...not you caving in. The result will be resentments on one side or the other....probably both after you occasionally say..."fuck it, I'm gonna get high, I don't give a rats ass what she thinks". This WILL happen in time... and by the time these resentments build up to boiling point and irreversible damage mode, you may have a child in the mix.
Live and let live...should be the mantra of a comfortable, loving and trusting relationship.You gotta let each other be who they want to be....control of one or the other always ends up in failure...and is merely an illusion anyway.
You need to grab your balls and say "Look, I'm not your drug addicted brother or anyone in your family...I'm me. Getting high occasionally with my brothers is not substance abuse..nor is tripping a couple times a year.""If you can't live with that, you need to take a good look at yourself....I love you and I want to spend my life with you...and don't think that's too much to ask."
If she doesn't concede after saying that...I feel you are doomed.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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she sounds like she has major control issues and is way too dependent on you.
the only hope here IMO is that you guys can have a very calm conversation about it, so that she can drop her defenses and actually listen.
I get that her family uses and it effects them negatively. My dad was an alcoholic and it ultimately killed him. does that mean that I'll never date a girl who wants a beer or glass of wine? no fucking way.
because that doesn't make sense.
try to explain to her that you aren't her mom, or her brother, or whoever else she thinks you'll become.
she has to see what a controlling B this makes her out to seem like. you're an adult too.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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qman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 4 hours, 15 minutes
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I have a friend who's 70 years old, we talked about marriage and relationships the other day, he said before he got married he had a talk with his wife, he said to her "don't ever tell me what to do and don't ever go out to a bar without me", she said "Ok". They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last year.
Be a man, don't ever let a woman dictate what you do, she will lose respect for you even if you do follow her demands.
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: Relationship [Re: qman] 1
#22217595 - 09/10/15 04:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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show her this thread
Edited by luvdemboomers (09/10/15 04:28 PM)
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r.lutece
gave Columbia her wings.



Registered: 09/06/15
Posts: 745
Loc: ∅
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Ha. Seconded.
-------------------- One goes into an experiment knowing one might fail. But one does not undertake an experiment knowing one HAS failed.
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JocivaFlcol
Stranger

Registered: 04/19/13
Posts: 49
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: You need to grab your balls and say "Look, I'm not your drug addicted brother or anyone in your family...I'm me. Getting high occasionally with my brothers is not substance abuse..nor is tripping a couple times a year.""If you can't live with that, you need to take a good look at yourself....I love you and I want to spend my life with you...and don't think that's too much to ask."
If she doesn't concede after saying that...I feel you are doomed. 
Had a talk about it today. Kinda pretty much said this. She said ultimately, she cannot force me to do anything, and wouldn't try to. She'd just prefer I not do it at the apartment we live at, as the police station is right down the street, like two minutes walking distance. She also would prefer I don't do it with my brothers, away from her. Basically wants me to wait until we get our own house.
We need $10k to put down on a house. We can save maybe $6k per year. I'm not waiting that long. I told her that I appreciate her willingness to try to actually compromise, but I'm not going to continue to pretend to be the person she wants me to be.
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