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Anonymous #1

Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End
    #22191713 - 09/05/15 08:16 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I've reached this point in life where nothing goes right and I feel like I'm constantly getting shit on by everyone and everything.

I haven't had steady work in a year.  I send out 700 resumes a day and I'm registered with so many agencies, I've lost count.  I get a week or two of work here and there, but nothing solid because either the company isn't hiring or they don't want to pay the fee to the agency.

Yes, I even applied at McDonalds and Walgreens.  I'm overqualified to work there and I've been told "You don't belong here."  I really don't think my standards are too high here.

I don't have health insurance because I can't afford it.  The best plan in my area was $100 a month for a $6300 deductible.  I need to see a doctor, but can't afford it.  In order to qualify for assistance, you need your tax returns to prove you're poor.  I made decent money last year, so I don't have that.

If you're wondering, I had savings, but its nearly all spent trying to pay rent inbetween jobs.

I applied for a job on my own, got told my resume looked good, then I got an email stating I didn't have the right qualifications.  To pour salt in the wound, I saw the same job reposted.

My current temp assignment is so stressful, I have to fight back the urge to vomit all day.  My manager's theory is to ride temps into the ground because they're temps and fuck 'em.  I am too desperate for a paycheck to leave.

My Dad tells me I need to act like a grown up and get a job permanently.  He tells me I need to try harder.  He tells me the world is going to hell.  He tells me all this depressing shit about how I'm doing something wrong.  He tells me I need to stop spending money on stupid shit.  Aside from food and gas, I haven't even bought myself a bag of Doritos.  I have no entertainment budget, no clothing budget, and no cash for anything other than essentials (rent, phone, gas, etc).

Even my friends don't want to hang out anymore because I have no money and I can't stop worrying.  Can't say I blame them.  I'm depressing as fuck even when I try to be cheerful anymore.

I live alone.  I have no one to help me with anything.

These past 8 years have been incredible.  I lost my house in the market bullshit.  I had to have two life saving operations.  I lost my job of 8 years.  I lost everything.  I live in a tiny, shithole little apartment that's supposed to come with internet at least, but that's been out for three weeks.

While I was in the hospital, inches away from kidney failure, my brother's wife yelled at me for scaring my brother.  She told me to fuck off and have a nice life, which is ironic because I was near death.  Now my brother doesn't talk to me because of his wife.

Waking up in the morning feels like peeling duct tape off my pubes, then dousing my crotch in sriracha.

I'm nearly 100% drained of optimism.  I will probably lose my shit if one more person tells me it gets better.

It feels like no one understands me, no one understands where my life is at, and no one gives a flying fuck.  Even when I talk to people about how I'm centimeters away from ending it all, then I'm being overly dramatic.

I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm a genuinely nice person.  I have a college degree.  I have experience.  I dress nicely.  I treat others with respect.  I'm just sick and tired if getting shit on by the Universe and people I love(d).

I am super at the end of my rope.  I seriously cannot take it anymore.  I've considered becoming a raging asshole IRL because that's what everyone seems to be doing and getting ahead.  No more of this nice guy shit because the world shits on nice people.

I don't even know if I'm asking for anything, but I needed to get that all off my chest.


Edited by Anonymous (09/05/15 08:21 AM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22191963 - 09/05/15 09:44 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:

I'm nearly 100% drained of optimism.  I will probably lose my shit if one more person tells me it gets better.






It could get much worse.  You could be sprinkles or Hologram(Apostle).
Cheer up, buttercup.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22205358 - 09/08/15 12:35 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Dude. How come you cant get a job? I don't understand. They are everywhere. I here you though with the turning into a selfish prick thing. Thats what I did over a year ago and everything is going my way. Except I even did it with my gf and now we broke up... So it doesn't work for every avenue in life but it works for most things i guess? Lol I'm a really good person but I feel like I have to be selfish to get the things I want because naturally other people want those things and I make all the right moves to make sure they dont get it and i do... Its just survival of the fittest.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #22206173 - 09/08/15 08:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #3 said:
Dude. How come you cant get a job? I don't understand. They are everywhere.




I'm not a guy so I can't get jobs digging holes. :shrug:

Like I stated above, I am overexperienced or underexperienced.  I believe the problem is that I was at a job for 8 years that didn't utilize my talents at all, and it was a very specialized industry (telecommunications towers).  I was a supervisor of the document department.

I get lots of offers for document review, but that's always temp work.

I have seen many people with crappier credentials than me land jobs.  I have seen mountains of morons land sweet paying jobs.

So, if I knew what the problem was for sure, I'd have fixed it by now.  I'm not old or anything.  I'm just a difficult to place asshole who has painfully obviously failed at life.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22207835 - 09/08/15 03:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Have you thought about moving to a different area?  Maybe so some research find a good area with lots of jobs in your preferred field and apply for those jobs.  I know it's really hard to move with not alot of cash and not having an apartment or house ready to move into etc.

Perhaps even if you find a job around your current area  (which would be ideal) keep looking for better jobs in a different area so your not put in this position again.

Good luck


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Anonymous #5

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22209433 - 09/08/15 09:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I've reached this point in life where nothing goes right and I feel like I'm constantly getting shit on by everyone and everything.

I haven't had steady work in a year.  I send out 700 resumes a day and I'm registered with so many agencies, I've lost count.  I get a week or two of work here and there, but nothing solid because either the company isn't hiring or they don't want to pay the fee to the agency.

Yes, I even applied at McDonalds and Walgreens.  I'm overqualified to work there and I've been told "You don't belong here."  I really don't think my standards are too high here.





You can first start to look at yourself, in the mirror :smile: and congratulate yourself. The BIG USA that you so proudly believe in, has fucked you over.:drysmash:

Than thank your mom, your dad, your friends, and everyone else you know for also having too much ....well....distraction to notice that your government has purposely and with the full intent, fucked its people over :drysmash:

Perhaps this is a good time to wake the fuck up....and try and figure out....just

1/ Who fucked you :drysmash: :confused:
2/ Why they fucked you :shrug:
3 and why it has taken so long for you to wake-up  :shrug:


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Anonymous #6

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #22214501 - 09/09/15 09:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Kind of cynical, but kind of true.

So I take it you found a way out?  Do tell.  I would hate to think you have come upon such wisdom but still set your alarm clock daily to wake up and work as a part of the machine.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #22215185 - 09/10/15 01:23 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Life, on occasion, is absolutely fucking terrible. Sometimes, though, those shit times help us appreciate the good times.

I don't know how much Netflix you see anymore, but they've got an original series on there called 'Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt'. Without going into too much detail, it's about this girl who is readjusting to society after having been held captive underground for 15 years. (It's much lighter in tone than it probably sounds.) Kimmy Schmidt has two things going for her: being a victim of shitty circumstances, and being unbreakably optimistic.

I tell you about Kimmy Schmidt because I've gotten one of my favorite pieces of advice from her. While being forced to toil underground without anything to distract her, Kimmy made it through the really shifty times by counting to ten. Y'see, the way Kimmy looked at it, "you can stand anything for ten seconds." Life is a series of 10-second periods. If you can make it through this 10 seconds, why not the next ten? And the ten after that?

What I'm saying is, wait. Hang in there. The people who keep telling you 'it gets better' are right; it does. Sometimes you have to be patient and keep working at it. Change the things you can, and accept the things you can't. You know that life can be better than it is right now. You're in a relative low spot, so it's all uphill from here. Just breathe. Maybe seek resume help. Consider a different lifestyle. Have you considered living in a commune? It sounds ridiculous, but working directly for your food and shelter can be kind of rewarding, and it comes with a built-in support group. Try new lifestyles, and trades you'd never consider. Let yourself grow in a way you never thought you would.

If nothing else, just stay alive. Just for ten more seconds.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22243420 - 09/15/15 09:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Your brother's wife needs to have a nice involuntary mushroom trip as punishment. That'll teach that bitch. It really might teach her, lol.

Sounds to me like its time to move. What city do you live in/near? Change your scenery man. Go on a long vacation. Doesn't have to involve money. Look at hippies. They just go as they get money along the way for odd jobs. It sounds to me, like you might enjoy this lifestyle for awhile.

If you were in TX I'd hang out with ya, and tell you if anything was wrong with you, and if it was just you. I'd be honest with you, that way you could get to the bottom of the issue.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #22264312 - 09/20/15 11:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Last week, I went on 5 interviews.  It will still be a while until something pans out because they were only first round interviews.

I got some help from a recruiter in reorganizing my resume so that it doesn't look like I've been job hopping for the past year from all of these temp jobs.  I hope it helps.

It's really hard to stay positive, but I hope something happens.


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Anonymous #7

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22268387 - 09/21/15 08:18 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Hey man, you're taking great steps and right now that's what's important. I'm in the middle of a job hunt as well right now. It's incredibly frustrating, but the most important thing is to not let it get you down. Just keep at it, you're doing great!


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22269526 - 09/21/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Also, eat 5 or 6 grams of dried shrooms. Honestly.


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Anonymous #9

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22270487 - 09/21/15 05:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

may as well make it an even 10g.  It always puts things in to perspective. Eating any less than a quarter is like getting half a blowjob.  Break on through to the other side :trippinballs:

Chin up OP.  Keep applying for jobs.  I work in the telecommunications field and I hate it.  You'll find something eventually.  In the meanwhile maybe work on finding another hustle (driving for lyft/uber, delivering pizzas, stripping, whatever) so you arent completely digging yourself in to a hole.

Also it sounds like it might be time to start considering a different career path with a bit more job security.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22270608 - 09/21/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I worked for a cell tower company for 8 years and I lost my job.  I hated the people I worked with, but I liked the work.  I'm a Legal Assistant/Paralegal now...or at least...trying to be...  I'd love a career in law, but it's hard just to get a shot.  Seems like staying at that company for 8 years did me no favors.

I took 4.5g of shrooms last week because it was all I had.  Maybe one day, I'll take a "heroic dose" and see what happens.  It's the nausea that gets to me.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22271718 - 09/21/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Eat some candy called "Ginger chews" before, and maybe during a strong 6-10 gram trip. You also might try tums, they definitely settle the stomach for hours to come. But yeah I still recommend the trip, it sounds like you do need things put into perspective for you right now. They would definitely help you out a lot with the feelings you're having.


Quote:

Anonymous #9 said:I work in the telecommunications field and I hate it.





I wouldn't mind being one of those guys who changes the light bulbs on the towers. Heights don't bother me. Do you ever talk to any of them?


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Anonymous #9

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22271750 - 09/21/15 09:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Blowing rainbow chunks is the best part...like being released from prison.

Good luck With the hunt.  If I was you Id go to the yellow pages and start calling every telecom company in the book and asking them if they need help. Just Don't killyourself or anything stupid unless nobody loves you anymore otherwise you are an asshole


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22286194 - 09/24/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Well, tomorrow I'll either be out of work or I'll start a new job on Monday.  I know it's strange, but I honestly just don't give a fuck anymore.  It's like I've cautiously accepted that it'll all be okay no matter what. 

Honestly, I just feel fatigued trying to keep my nose above water.  You guys are helping and I really appreciate it.

Anon 8 - I used to work with those people on a daily basis.  Some of the larger companies will provide the training.  I think it's a trade or something because they have titles like "journeyman".  That's one of the most dangerous jobs in America, but you probably get the best views.  I raise my glass to you for being interested in it.
:raisemyglass:


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Anonymous #9

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22286684 - 09/25/15 12:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I've had to do work on top of water towers before.  I don't really like heights either :evilpuke:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22289597 - 09/25/15 06:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm happy to report that I got the job.  It's another temp job, but there's no end date, so maybe there's a chance to get in. :shrug:

It pays well for starting out, and it's only up from here.  If nothing else, the experience will guarantee that I get some work in the future.  It's in insurance defense and people will always get into car accidents.  It's a lot of "paperwork", so that's kind of exciting.  I like moving mountains of documents.

It's not ideal, but it's something and maybe one step closer to what I really want - to work at a small firm a few minutes from home or with some tech company because they have fucking awesome kitchens with snacks, drinks, and all the coffee you can brew.  OMFG 3pm triple espresso...YES.


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Anonymous #9

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22289600 - 09/25/15 06:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:congrats:


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22289905 - 09/25/15 07:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Well, tomorrow I'll either be out of work or I'll start a new job on Monday.  I know it's strange, but I honestly just don't give a fuck anymore.  It's like I've cautiously accepted that it'll all be okay no matter what. 

Honestly, I just feel fatigued trying to keep my nose above water.  You guys are helping and I really appreciate it.

Anon 8 - I used to work with those people on a daily basis.  Some of the larger companies will provide the training.  I think it's a trade or something because they have titles like "journeyman".  That's one of the most dangerous jobs in America, but you probably get the best views.  I raise my glass to you for being interested in it.
:raisemyglass:





I'm glad you got the job and that you're feeling better. I still say do the mushrooms though! lol. Everyone should have that experience multiple times. And no offense but it sounds like you could use it. 

Back to the high tower job. To me, it doesn't seem all that dangerous. I mean, you're tied off. Falling on that tower, wouldn't be any different from falling off your couch. IF you were tied off to the ceiling of your house when you fell off the couch. But then again I don't know anything about the job. Its really the most dangerous job in america? You don't really hear too much about them falling to their deaths.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #22290003 - 09/25/15 08:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I've just harvested some cakes and I'm waiting for the shrooms to dry now.  They should be ready in a few days.

You guys have been really encouraging.  That means a lot to me.  You've given me stuff to really think about, and now it's just about getting the engine going.

Yeah, it's not just the people falling to their deaths, but imagine dropping a tool from 300 feet.  We were told that, usually when a person falls off a tower, it's user error.  The person didn't properly secure their harness or something.  Last year, there was a rash of deaths which caused the feds to look harder at the industry. 

Sometimes, you have to watch out for the landowners.  This happened to our tower workers.  The workers asked the guy's wife if they could do work and she agreed.  The husband came home drunk and thought they were trespassing, so he shot them.  Thankfully, they just got shot in the legs with a .22.  He could have pulled out a rifle.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22290454 - 09/25/15 09:55 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
I've just harvested some cakes and I'm waiting for the shrooms to dry now.  They should be ready in a few days.

You guys have been really encouraging.  That means a lot to me.  You've given me stuff to really think about, and now it's just about getting the engine going.

Yeah, it's not just the people falling to their deaths, but imagine dropping a tool from 300 feet.  We were told that, usually when a person falls off a tower, it's user error.  The person didn't properly secure their harness or something.  Last year, there was a rash of deaths which caused the feds to look harder at the industry. 

Sometimes, you have to watch out for the landowners.  This happened to our tower workers.  The workers asked the guy's wife if they could do work and she agreed.  The husband came home drunk and thought they were trespassing, so he shot them.  Thankfully, they just got shot in the legs with a .22.  He could have pulled out a rifle.




What kind of moron starts shooting at a guy who is up a tower, and is clearly there in a white utility truck? I'm glad the owner did some time in the county jail for assault with a deadly weapon. Simple trespassing is, at least in my state, no cause for shooting. They have to be actually stealing tangible property, or have entered your house illegally, or are physically assaulting you. I'm all for a legitimate shoot, but just shooting someone for being on your land, when you don't know anything close to the reason why, should be cause for felony assault charges. At least here in TX it is. You can give them a warning, or put up signs, then call the sheriff to come arrest them and ticket them.

But anyway yeah I always thought it would be a very interesting job. I'd always take a couple pics once I got up there. Maybe take some binoculars. Don't they get paid pretty well too?


Edited by Anonymous (09/25/15 09:58 PM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #22292585 - 09/26/15 10:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It can pay pretty well, but probably not when you're starting out.  I know the Site Managers were making about $55-$70K a year, depending on their territory and experience level.  Those were the guys who would go to the sites and inspect for corrosion, repair, or pirate equipment.  The Project Managers were also paid well.  The benefits were great and made up for any lack of pay in the beginning.  There was an employer matched 401k and profit sharing.  We all had those Cadillac health insurance plans until Obamacare got rid of those.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22294554 - 09/26/15 04:46 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Pirate equipment eh? In what manner, was the piracy going on? What were they trying to accomplish? Was that very common?


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #22294908 - 09/26/15 06:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It wasn't an every day occurrence, but it happened.  Most of the time, it was radio equipment, but we didn't have any way to track down who or what it belonged to.

There was one tower where an FM heavy metal station and a Christian radio station had equipment.  The FM guy pointed his antenna directly into the Christian radio station antennas way, so people tuning in to the Christian station would get metal.

The one thing that did occur often was that tower repair or construction would be held up due to an endangered species.  If an endangered bird made a nest on a tower, you had to wait until it left naturally before you could fix it.  Sometimes, it would be mating season for some species of animals, so you couldn't work on certain towers either.


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Anonymous #8

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22296738 - 09/27/15 12:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Was anyone trying to do pirate radio? I guess that's not really necessary anymore, what with the internet and all.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #22297075 - 09/27/15 05:27 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Believe it or not, it's still a thing, but not nearly as popular as it once was.  People still use CB radios as well.

There was one tower in AZ where a guy had mounted an antenna and pointed it directly into the antenna of a local christian station.  Whenever people would tune in to the christian station in that area, they would hear old school metal like Alice Cooper and Slayer.


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Anonymous #10

Re: Nothing Goes Right, At My Wits End [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22304071 - 09/28/15 05:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Keep trying, also negative thoughts beget negative actions.  You are kind of putting out negative energy, as a result negative shit keeps coming your way.

Keep feeling out resumes, in fact get a professional to help you with it. Usually all kinds of free writing resumes lectures.  If not, then go to a successful person you know and ask them to look over yours.  ( Just read your other posts pretty much saying you got resume help)

I kind of think you need to seek professional help, if you are literally on the edge, get help. But it seems like you were just being expressive? so....i dunno know....

As far as internet, libraries have free internet, you can use the internet or if you have  a laptop, take that with you if the computers are all being used.  Being nice is the one thing that is legit in this world. Most of us feel genuinely good doing good will towards others.  Try it sometime.


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