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OfflineDevon420
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Registered: 06/05/15
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Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Hemmeroids :(
    #22189161 - 09/04/15 05:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm 28 and I have em wtf anyone else?!?


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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
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I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira Flag
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189262 - 09/04/15 05:58 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I got them when I was 19.  Same as my Dad.


--------------------
:nyan: <-- Clicky Clicky


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OfflineDevon420
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Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22189276 - 09/04/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What do you do to help them. Fucking hurts they get bad


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OfflineBitter Cactus
reformed bad boy
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Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189277 - 09/04/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I'm 28 and I have em wtf anyone else?!?




:cannotunsee:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22189292 - 09/04/15 06:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bitter Cactus said:
Quote:

Devon420 said:
I'm 28 and I have em wtf anyone else?!?




:cannotunsee:




I lol'd


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira Flag
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189299 - 09/04/15 06:02 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I sit on an ice cube.  It hurts for a bit and I can feel it in my stomach, but after that comes relief.

I also use those adult wet wipes after I go.  That made a big difference.


--------------------
:nyan: <-- Clicky Clicky


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Offlinespecialpeopleclub
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Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Niffla]
    #22189301 - 09/04/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Get some tucks wktchhazel pads, you will be ok


--------------------


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Registered: 01/26/12
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye] * 1
    #22189305 - 09/04/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomerInTheRye said:
I sit on an ice cube.  It hurts for a bit and I can feel it in my stomach, but after that comes relief.

I also use those adult wet wipes after I go.  That made a big difference.




:feelsgoatman:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus] * 1
    #22189320 - 09/04/15 06:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Dude what the fuck this thread is disgusting

:ugh:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Registered: 01/26/12
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #22189329 - 09/04/15 06:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Dude what the fuck this thread is disgusting

:ugh:




:fedora:

And bro I'm sorry for ratting on you that was dumb I thought it was funny to rat but I was an idiot. Let's moved past that lol


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Offlinespecialpeopleclub
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy] * 1
    #22189334 - 09/04/15 06:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It is, but these are a serious medical problem you want to take care of before it becomes an embarrassing infection you have to go humiliate yourself to a doctor about.


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OfflineJanky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: specialpeopleclub]
    #22189374 - 09/04/15 06:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

How did you get 2,200 posts in 3 months? :confused:


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
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Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Janky Tits]
    #22189378 - 09/04/15 06:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Its called being a cave dweller


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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OfflineJanky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #22189390 - 09/04/15 06:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:lol:

To be fair I went from 600 posts to 1,700+ in the span of maybe a month or a month in a half. I wasn't very active on here until around May of this year


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Invisiblesudly
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,807
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189454 - 09/04/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

wet wipes, and don't squeeze out your shits so damn hard, you'll pop veins soon enough.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineGiftofdeprivation
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189591 - 09/04/15 07:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I want so badly to laugh at you, but if I do, I know they'll come in full force when I'm 50 or so.

Good luck! :haha: ...Aww, fuck.


--------------------

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OfflineApostle
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Registered: 12/12/09
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Giftofdeprivation] * 1
    #22189620 - 09/04/15 07:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Does this take anal play off the table?

pls no


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Apostle]
    #22189626 - 09/04/15 07:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Apostle said:
Does this take anal play off the table?

pls no




:feelsgoatman:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Giftofdeprivation]
    #22189630 - 09/04/15 07:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Hah damn  yea it's not fun at all :frown:


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189634 - 09/04/15 07:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

No way tickle my hemmy and I'll get exited hahah


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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
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Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189672 - 09/04/15 07:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Have you tried an ibuprofen to help with swelling?


--------------------
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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22189677 - 09/04/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

No actually I didn't think of that. Don't have any atm.


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OfflineApostle
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189688 - 09/04/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

How does it happen?

Hereditary or from buttseks?


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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
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Registered: 01/12/12
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189692 - 09/04/15 07:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:badmanthisfeels:


--------------------
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InvisibleShroomerInTheRye
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Registered: 01/12/12
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Apostle]
    #22189719 - 09/04/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm sure genes come into play.

My Dad had them so bad one night, he walked to the hospital.  They told him it could be easily removed.  The old man jumps off the table and shouts in his loudest, eastern European voice:

"Oh no you don't!"

They had to sedate him slightly just to get a cortisone shot.


--------------------
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OfflineDetached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22189726 - 09/04/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I got hemmeroids in my early teens. Was really shitty (no pun intended). I had one that was really big and painful as hell and I made the mistake of going to the doctor. I ended up passing a big ass blood clot through my asshole.

But back to the original question, look into Preparation H. It will help with your ring of fire.


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Detached]
    #22189756 - 09/04/15 07:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It doesn't go away either it just goes back up so I need them removed eventually. I had it 3 weeks ago and now it's back I haven't had em for a couple years. It's painful


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189781 - 09/04/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Just take care of them, if it gets abscessed you will hate it even more.


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OfflineDetached
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22189783 - 09/04/15 07:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Most hemorrhoids come and go. Surgery isn't really medically necessary in most cases. If you go in for hemorrhoids, they are going to shove a see-through funnel-type instrument up your ass and take a peek at your gaper with a flashlight.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Apostle]
    #22189786 - 09/04/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Apostle said:
How does it happen?

Hereditary or from buttseks?




:yeahthatsfunny:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
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Registered: 11/03/12
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Detached]
    #22189788 - 09/04/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah.. I think your doctor just liked you.


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OfflineDetached
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #22189840 - 09/04/15 07:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I definitely got my copay's worth. The really embarrassing part was I had to take a really big shit afterwards and I'm sure I was pretty well-packed before the doc decided to probe me. I wasn't expecting it when I went into the appointment.

Unfortunately I remember it very vividly.


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Detached]
    #22189860 - 09/04/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Detached said:
I definitely got my copay's worth. The really embarrassing part was I had to take a really big shit afterwards and I'm sure I was pretty well-packed before the doc decided to probe me. I wasn't expecting it when I went into the appointment.

Unfortunately I remember it very vividly.




:icouldjusteatyou:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22190000 - 09/04/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Aww nasty hah. I hope it goes away in a couple days it's annoying. I wanna stab it !!!!! Lol


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22191295 - 09/05/15 02:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Eat more fibres and vegetables and a little less grease. Exercise. Drink sufficient fluids.


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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22191308 - 09/05/15 02:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Wait for the dump to fall out of your ass instead of forcing it out like an impatient madman with hemorrhoids.  More soluble fiber helps, supplemented with probiotics to keep the good bacteria digesting.


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22191389 - 09/05/15 04:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What drugs you take?

Kratom?


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Invisibledionysiandame
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Female

Registered: 08/27/13
Posts: 324
Loc: Samothrace
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22191653 - 09/05/15 07:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I'm 28 and I have em wtf anyone else?!?




I've never gotten them but my ex husband did. I worked from home to help get a particularly nasty one cleared up as quickly as possible. The main idea is to keep the area clean and to bring the swelling down. Hot compresses and ice helps. The angle of his was such that him managing himself would have resulted in frustration and impatience which would have prolonged the discomfort.

We worked on a 4 hour cycle. Every four hours, wiped down with a preparation-H wipe and applied ointment. This was to account for the addition of psyllium husks and extra water in his diet which led to more stool production. Unfortunately, it did thrombose within the first 2 days so the cycle then included an antibacterial ointment instead of the one for relieving the itch. All in all, it took about 4 days for the worst to be over and the swelling was gone with 6-7 days.

Good luck and take care of yourself. Examine your diet and don't be ashamed to ask for help if you need it.


--------------------
He (Dionysos) keeps me with all of his other pretty things for I am just another pretty thing in a long list of acquisitions. :psychsplit:
Yes! And their brains are releasing adrenaline, dopamine, even dimethyltryptamine from the pineal gland! This has serious educational value! Thanatophobia and this N.D.E. is giving us euphoric altered awareness! Don't you see, Princess? We were all born to die! – Finn the Human
Pay me what you owe me. Don't act like you forgot. BBHMM.


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: dionysiandame]
    #22192056 - 09/05/15 10:13 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Feels better today  it's going away. Takes 2 or 3 days usually. Lol yea I need to stop pushing so hard I clearly remember doing that


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192375 - 09/05/15 12:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Feels better today  it's going away. Takes 2 or 3 days usually. Lol yea I need to stop pushing so hard I clearly remember doing that




:feelsgoatman:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22192478 - 09/05/15 12:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Your a mountain goat !!!!! Or are you saying I'm the goat Greatest Of All Time hahah


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22192488 - 09/05/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

you shouldn't need to push at all, when you have to take a shit it should just fall out on its own


--------------------
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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192501 - 09/05/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

the mountain goat is a fine example of how it should look when you're on the can.

NOT like this-

:itwasgoodforme:


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192527 - 09/05/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I have had them before, it's a load of bullshit. It would mainly happen to me in the past when I would stand on my feet working many long hours/ all day.

At first I used some type of ointment, I think it was like A+D ointment maybe?

Then I just stopped caring, ignoring it and it would go away on its own. Watch out for if one of those motherfuckers burst while your taking a shit. It's fucking weird to see blood in the toilet mixed with your recent turds. Fucking weird man.


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22192547 - 09/05/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomerInTheRye said:
I'm sure genes come into play.

My Dad had them so bad one night, he walked to the hospital.  They told him it could be easily removed.  The old man jumps off the table and shouts in his loudest, eastern European voice:

"Oh no you don't!"

They had to sedate him slightly just to get a cortisone shot.




I have a theory. I think the splashing of the water causes it to spread to other people. Damn toilet water splashes! :mad2:


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192561 - 09/05/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I take a lot of codeine so I get constipated so I strain a lot


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192625 - 09/05/15 01:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Ah ha haha. I usually tell people what helps me when it seem's like I'm not going enough is to consume a bunch of caffeine from coffee, chocolate cake, doughnuts, oreo cookies and milk, chocolate milk, and icecream. Sounds crazy... seem's to have worked from me in the past before. Lots of caffeine. :wink:


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192653 - 09/05/15 01:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192675 - 09/05/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it




Ouchy ouchy. I remember the first time I had one burst while shitting. I did not know it happened until I looked in the toilet..  I was like OMG WTF!!! Then I remembered... "Hemroidsssss....!"

Sneaky bastards! :laugh2:


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192679 - 09/05/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it




:cannotunsee:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192800 - 09/05/15 01:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I take a lot of codeine so I get constipated so I strain a lot




Well there's your problem.  Are you a pain patient or a "recreational user" who thinks hemorrhoids is a worthy sacrifice to drink some sizurp?


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22192890 - 09/05/15 02:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I had hemmeroids before I ever did codeine


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192910 - 09/05/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Best thing you can do is clean good with bar soap, stay off your feet as much as possible and sit on soft surfaces. Use a pillow. You should also buy some cream from a CVS, walmart or some medical store would not hurt.

:stoned:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192913 - 09/05/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I had hemmeroids before I ever did codeine




All the more reason not to take drugs that make you constipated IMO, but do as you like.


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22192931 - 09/05/15 02:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:lol: I'm taking it more prescription drugs can cause constipation than the normal stuff you find on the market?

Geez just imagine if weed was known for causing major constipation. Your buddy saying something to you like "Nah man, nah, I can't that the blunt today.. its been 4 days with out shitting" lmao. :laugh2:


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OfflinePreparationH
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192947 - 09/05/15 02:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Try the Preparation H stuff and if it doesn't work go see a proctologist.  I got them from bmxing years ago and was in pain for 6 months, proctologist shoved a laser up my ass and it was fixed instantly.


Edited by PreparationH (09/05/15 02:19 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192948 - 09/05/15 02:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I don't think many people would be having that, but with opiates it is just par for the course.  You know it's real bad when you start shitting out rabbit pellets, and then you stop taking them and it is toilet-breaking time.


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OfflineHippocampus
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: PreparationH]
    #22192956 - 09/05/15 02:21 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

PreparationH said:
Try the Preparation H stuff and if it doesn't work go see a proctologist.  I got them from bmxing years ago and was in pain for 6 months, proctologist shoved a laser up my ass and it was fixed instantly.




:lol: username checks out

I also got them from biking..starting when I was 12.  They only flair up now once every few years


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Hippocampus]
    #22192964 - 09/05/15 02:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's like that for me. I shit lil bits then when I don't take codeine omg I'm shitting all day


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192980 - 09/05/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's oft referred to as withdrawals.


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22193009 - 09/05/15 02:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Yeah I don't think many people would be having that, but with opiates it is just par for the course.  You know it's real bad when you start shitting out rabbit pellets, and then you stop taking them and it is toilet-breaking time.




Sounds like a big mess! lol.

lol@ rabbit pellets, thats pretty funny


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Adden]
    #22193123 - 09/05/15 03:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Dys said:
It's oft referred to as withdrawals.




How's it goin man?!!!! 
Yea drawls are not fun :frown:


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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #22193372 - 09/05/15 04:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Yeah I don't think many people would be having that, but with opiates it is just par for the course.  You know it's real bad when you start shitting out rabbit pellets, and then you stop taking them and it is toilet-breaking time.




This. Is. The. Worst. I have a lymph node that swells up about once every year and a half or so and, after it's drained, I'm always prescribed Vicodin. Yay because I hate pain but Boo because I hate what it does to my body. No matter how much water I drink, even if I switch to simply broth and spinach for the duration of the treatment process my ass puckers up like Ivana Trump at a Rich-Guy-With-Bad-Toupees convention.

I've thrown out half bottles of the shit.


--------------------
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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22193438 - 09/05/15 04:26 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Quote:

Dys said:
It's oft referred to as withdrawals.




How's it goin man?!!!! 
Yea drawls are not fun :frown:





It's going man! :thumbup:


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OfflineSunnyD
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Malcolm_Xtasy]
    #22193468 - 09/05/15 04:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Malcolm_Xtasy said:
Dude what the fuck this thread is disgusting

:ugh:



Hes a infected :haha:

Joking, its not that gross, although he has bumps inside his asshole


Use hemmeroid cream?


--------------------
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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: SunnyD]
    #22193515 - 09/05/15 04:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Mushrooms is the cure


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22193928 - 09/05/15 06:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

who wants to plug mushrooms when they have hemroids?


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