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OfflineDevon420
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Registered: 06/05/15
Posts: 2,748
Loc: Canada Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22192478 - 09/05/15 12:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Your a mountain goat !!!!! Or are you saying I'm the goat Greatest Of All Time hahah


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 21,636
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Bitter Cactus]
    #22192488 - 09/05/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

you shouldn't need to push at all, when you have to take a shit it should just fall out on its own


--------------------
We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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InvisibleHobozen
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Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192501 - 09/05/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

the mountain goat is a fine example of how it should look when you're on the can.

NOT like this-

:itwasgoodforme:


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
Yes!!
Male

Registered: 08/23/15
Posts: 1,308
Loc: Colorado, USA
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192527 - 09/05/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I have had them before, it's a load of bullshit. It would mainly happen to me in the past when I would stand on my feet working many long hours/ all day.

At first I used some type of ointment, I think it was like A+D ointment maybe?

Then I just stopped caring, ignoring it and it would go away on its own. Watch out for if one of those motherfuckers burst while your taking a shit. It's fucking weird to see blood in the toilet mixed with your recent turds. Fucking weird man.


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
Yes!!
Male

Registered: 08/23/15
Posts: 1,308
Loc: Colorado, USA
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: ShroomerInTheRye]
    #22192547 - 09/05/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

ShroomerInTheRye said:
I'm sure genes come into play.

My Dad had them so bad one night, he walked to the hospital.  They told him it could be easily removed.  The old man jumps off the table and shouts in his loudest, eastern European voice:

"Oh no you don't!"

They had to sedate him slightly just to get a cortisone shot.




I have a theory. I think the splashing of the water causes it to spread to other people. Damn toilet water splashes! :mad2:


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192561 - 09/05/15 12:51 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I take a lot of codeine so I get constipated so I strain a lot


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Registered: 08/23/15
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Loc: Colorado, USA
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192625 - 09/05/15 01:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Ah ha haha. I usually tell people what helps me when it seem's like I'm not going enough is to consume a bunch of caffeine from coffee, chocolate cake, doughnuts, oreo cookies and milk, chocolate milk, and icecream. Sounds crazy... seem's to have worked from me in the past before. Lots of caffeine. :wink:


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192653 - 09/05/15 01:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Registered: 08/23/15
Posts: 1,308
Loc: Colorado, USA
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192675 - 09/05/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it




Ouchy ouchy. I remember the first time I had one burst while shitting. I did not know it happened until I looked in the toilet..  I was like OMG WTF!!! Then I remembered... "Hemroidsssss....!"

Sneaky bastards! :laugh2:


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OfflineBitter Cactus
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Registered: 01/26/12
Posts: 11,773
Loc: Alberta, Canada
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192679 - 09/05/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
Yea caffeine works but if I go it just inflames it




:cannotunsee:


--------------------
Taking acid and thinking you are a better man is a lot different then actually becoming a better man.




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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
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Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192800 - 09/05/15 01:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I take a lot of codeine so I get constipated so I strain a lot




Well there's your problem.  Are you a pain patient or a "recreational user" who thinks hemorrhoids is a worthy sacrifice to drink some sizurp?


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OfflineDevon420
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22192890 - 09/05/15 02:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I had hemmeroids before I ever did codeine


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Registered: 08/23/15
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192910 - 09/05/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Best thing you can do is clean good with bar soap, stay off your feet as much as possible and sit on soft surfaces. Use a pillow. You should also buy some cream from a CVS, walmart or some medical store would not hurt.

:stoned:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192913 - 09/05/15 02:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Devon420 said:
I had hemmeroids before I ever did codeine




All the more reason not to take drugs that make you constipated IMO, but do as you like.


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OfflineDr.Wongburger
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #22192931 - 09/05/15 02:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

:lol: I'm taking it more prescription drugs can cause constipation than the normal stuff you find on the market?

Geez just imagine if weed was known for causing major constipation. Your buddy saying something to you like "Nah man, nah, I can't that the blunt today.. its been 4 days with out shitting" lmao. :laugh2:


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OfflinePreparationH
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Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192947 - 09/05/15 02:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Try the Preparation H stuff and if it doesn't work go see a proctologist.  I got them from bmxing years ago and was in pain for 6 months, proctologist shoved a laser up my ass and it was fixed instantly.


Edited by PreparationH (09/05/15 02:19 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Dr.Wongburger]
    #22192948 - 09/05/15 02:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I don't think many people would be having that, but with opiates it is just par for the course.  You know it's real bad when you start shitting out rabbit pellets, and then you stop taking them and it is toilet-breaking time.


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OfflineHippocampus
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Registered: 04/01/15
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: PreparationH]
    #22192956 - 09/05/15 02:21 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

PreparationH said:
Try the Preparation H stuff and if it doesn't work go see a proctologist.  I got them from bmxing years ago and was in pain for 6 months, proctologist shoved a laser up my ass and it was fixed instantly.




:lol: username checks out

I also got them from biking..starting when I was 12.  They only flair up now once every few years


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OfflineDevon420
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Registered: 06/05/15
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Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Hippocampus]
    #22192964 - 09/05/15 02:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's like that for me. I shit lil bits then when I don't take codeine omg I'm shitting all day


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InvisibleAdden
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Registered: 06/04/03
Posts: 39,201
Loc: Flag
Re: Hemmeroids :( [Re: Devon420]
    #22192980 - 09/05/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's oft referred to as withdrawals.


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