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muckamuck
Stranger
Registered: 07/20/15
Posts: 187
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Lonely
#22172702 - 09/01/15 06:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I've always been the kind of person who only needs one or two friends and prefers small groups, but it seems like everyone I know has finally written me off and disappeared permanently, which sucks big time because I care about people a lot despite not being very social if that makes sense. My brother tried to get me out of the house by taking me to visit some of his friends recently and it went real bad, I'm so awkward that people actually take offence and think I'm being a dick, maybe I am, but I'm not trying to... we smoked some weed and I think I might have had a bit of a psychotic episode because I was sure they were trying to intimidate me through music choices and when I went outside to collect myself I couldn't tell if I was still hearing the music or peoples voices talking about me. At one point I kind of zoned out and started trying to calm down by thinking about how we are all one and everyone is God, and I swear as soon as I zoned back in the guy in front of me exclaimed "I AM THE LAMB OF GOD" and my heart just about exploded from panic, I have no idea what led up to that statement because like I said I wasn't listening, but it was weird... plus I think they put something in my drink to try to make me "chill out" but maybe it's just that I don't drink often. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I have schizotypal personality or something and I'm finding it really hard to maintain any kind of social life. I think people think I want to be left alone, but I don't, I really love people, I'm just bad at interaction. They were actually yelling at my bro when I was outside, about how rude I am or something... like I do it on purpose... help? Where can I learn how to not make people hate me?
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Edited by muckamuck (09/01/15 08:44 AM)
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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Don't smoke any more weed, at least for now. That seems like an obvious one to me.
You should see a doctor, and a counselor, if possible. The weird sort of trickery that you described these people playing on you really reminds me of some of the more paranoid experiences I've had during bad acid trips. Weed can absolutely bring about this sort of paranoia and anxiety for certain people. Be careful.
As for people thinking you're a dick, well, just don't act like a dick! I can empathize with you, being an ever-anxious person myself, but really you just have to try and make a conscious effort to be kind to others. If you find yourself conversing with someone, and it feels like they might be misinterpreting your comments or your vibe as somewhat dickish, then feel free to even say, "hey, I don't mean to sound like a dick". This advice might sound silly but honestly I've prefaced a comment by saying this many times, and it can actually be helpful. A given discord between people is often due to a simple miscommunication. Always remember this.
Good luck.
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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if you're already a kind of self-conscious person, getting high at social events can really be hell. i'd suggest drinking at social events and not doing any psychedelic type drugs. you'll probably have a much better time! stuff like weed is better suited for introspection.
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Edited by resonant111 (09/01/15 09:15 PM)
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muckamuck
Stranger
Registered: 07/20/15
Posts: 187
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Yeah weed kinda scares me now, but it's everywhere I go... as for doctors, I've had some bad times with those guys in the past so I'm hesitant, but maybe I will look into community services or something. I had a really cool social worker last year but he was on some kind of short term contract so had to leave and I never bothered continuing because it's so rare to find a good one. Oh well. Thanks for taking time to respond guys.
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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I eat high doses of LSD but weed for some reason just makes things really awkward and strange for me. I usually pass if there's a pipe going around
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Sounds like you should definitely lay off the weed, might be the central problem. It may also lead to schizophrenia if you're susceptible, which it sounds like you are.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Intothewild

Registered: 09/05/15
Posts: 17
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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I think you have social anxiety & had a panic attack. I don't think there is anything wrong with you & I know this because I understand your pain. I only smoke weed alone so I suggest that because it doesn't help us in social situations. I find that smoking alone has actually deepened my appreciation & relationship with weed. Is use it as a medicine & no longer desire getting stoned with others. I can't speak for other stuff because I haven't done anything else yet, lol.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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yep smoking alone is way better than at social events with lots of talking. the plant has a pretty introspective nature and when i'm high i just wanna go into my own world for a while. only time i'll smoke around people is music festivals but that's cuz i'm listening to music, not talking to people.
for social shit, caffeine + a small amount of booze is a great, extroverted mix.
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