Home | Community | Message Board

Magic Mushrooms Zamnesia
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore Bulk Substrate

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]
Anonymous #1

online dating pros and cons...
    #22169273 - 08/31/15 01:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What are the pros and cons? And is it worth the stigma / being laughed at, if Co workers / friends found out?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22169653 - 08/31/15 03:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Define "online dating"

if you mean a dating site that puts singles together in a local area IRL then that is fine.


If you mean having a girlfriend that only exists on the internet that is not.


I met my gf on facebook through some mutual friends actually in a music group.  We have been together for a few years now and have a great relationship.  If somebody wants to laugh at me they are more than welcome to, but my relationship kicks ass so I don't give a shit.


Why waste time worrying about what others think about you?  Online dating is nice because you can find out what a girl is interested in without having to go through all the bullshit.  You also can easily find sluts that will fuck you for no good reason other than to boost their self esteem, so thats a plus as well.

All in all the internet is a solid place for meeting people IME


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22169678 - 08/31/15 03:21 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Meaning pof,  tinder etc,  I have this perception that online dating is for losers...  and that I would get made fun of..


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22169686 - 08/31/15 03:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Actually just pof lol sinse I wouldn't even be able to use tinder cuz I don't have Facebook


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22169697 - 08/31/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #1 said:
Meaning pof,  tinder etc,  I have this perception that online dating is for losers...  and that I would get made fun of..



Who cares :shrug:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22169704 - 08/31/15 03:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I don't why I care but I do... I also feel it's not as genuine if that makes sense


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #3

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22169712 - 08/31/15 03:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Sounds like your subconscious telling you to go out and meet ppl


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #22169727 - 08/31/15 03:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

True.  It's just hard sinse I work full time and don't go to/ like bars,  and after high school I somewhat alienated myself working full time and no Facebook, so I've lost contact with alot of people,  and don't get out as much as I should.. Which why somewhat gave using pof or something a thought,  but I feel like a pathetic loser, stooping to using the Internet to meet someone... Like how could you tell your parents /friends "Oh BTW we met on pof"  :facepalm3:


Edited by Anonymous (08/31/15 03:37 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22169839 - 08/31/15 04:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Am I the only one that feels that way about online dating lol? Oh another bias I have towards online dating is "there is probably something wrong with a woman who is on there because if she is good looking how could she not have a boyfriend "...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #22169915 - 08/31/15 04:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Lots of obese with kids and baggage etc.

Probably better to just go out and dance when you get the chance.  :dancer:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #22170154 - 08/31/15 05:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

So the only cons so far are lots of obese / lots if baggage,  obese can easily be weeded out,  and the baggage m ight take a while to surface,  possibly in too deep by the time it comes out lol


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22171018 - 08/31/15 08:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

My biggest problem with the internet in general and meeting a girl is that it seems like there's a 10:1 male:female ratio. I've taken a peak at pof and badoo and that's the conclusion I came to. Seems like there are a lot more males than females online in general? Shroomery is an example.

Also, it seems like people online are nuttier than in real life. This goes for both sexes.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #6

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #22172171 - 09/01/15 12:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Online is only a bridge to meeting other people.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #22172197 - 09/01/15 12:49 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Guy above nailed it. You'll get ignored by ugly chicks you wouldnt give a second look at real life because they get bombarded with messages from guys and inflates their ego until they think they are gods gift to men. The girls cherry pick, you better be good looking or cool or you'll have no chance with anything but fatties.

Also, girls are crazier/more desperate online. I think it's because all normal chicks don't need to use online dating to find men. You'll find alot of chicks who want to marry you after two weeks, and alot of downright crazies.

Also alot of single moms that don't get out much to date anymore so they get online with their spare time. They can be fun, but alot of them are looking for daddies.

Also, alot of girls will talk to you up until the point where you ask them out then ignore you. I've come to the conclusion they want attention, and want to feel wanted by getting asked out and showered with compliments, but aren't serious about dating.

That being said, there are also freaky sluts on there that are a blast, and even downright cool girls that might even be girlfriend material. I've lucked out with both, they just are far and few between.

It's a numbers game. Unless you are a super model you'll get ignored by 99 girls, but its all good because #100 will be down, and all it takes is one. Wash, rinse, and repeat. I killed it when I lived in a big town with unlimited amounts of woman; however, now that I'm in a small mountain town I don't have nearly as many woman to choose from which means I don't do as well.

This covers the basic, if you have any more questions feel free to PM, not sure why this was made anon =]

-danielx


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #8

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22174423 - 09/01/15 03:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

ime online "dating" sites got me laid but i never cultivated any serious relationships from them. it can still be fun though.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22176598 - 09/02/15 12:05 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

That is a spot on reply thanks


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22177540 - 09/02/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

No problem, report back with your results.

Most people use tinder nowdays but because I never wanted to attach a facebook or mobile number, I stick to pof and okcupid.

Dont underestimate how important your profile and pictures are. Especially if you arent a super model with six pack abs, you have to set yourself apart by making yourself seem like a fun, approachable person. Shirtless selfies probably wont work for you, so I suggest pictures of you doing fun stuff. Maybe a picture of you playing a guitar, picture of you rock climbing, basically doing whatever it is that makes you a rad person. Smiling helps, makes you look fun, approachable. What you write in your profile should reflect this as well. Don't just list off shit you like to do, make your profile unique and funny. These girls are showered with generic tools, make yourself stand apart.

Also, don't be afraid to kick it with a few heavier chicks you could never see yourself serious with. Just going out is good practice for when you get a better looking woman.

The "im going to take you out approach" is also quite successful. Some really hot girls get swamped with "lets fuck" messages, be that one guy who shows interest in her and wants to take her out and she may go out with you even though she has hotter options because shes sick of being used by scumbags. All you need is your foot in the door, even if it takes two dates to sleep with them its worth it. Espcially when you can date on the cheap like going for a walk around the lake with a beer or two. Avoid going out to eat, movies, etc the cliche bullshit. You just want a cheap, non committed place you both can talk. Fuck getting stuck with a bill somewhere if she ends up never talking to you again.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #9

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22185075 - 09/03/15 09:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

The biggest con for me is that the girls will never agree to meet up.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22185108 - 09/03/15 09:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Well I'm.still on the fence I don't know if I.actually want to do it or not... I just have a problem feeling like I would get teased / made fun of by friends and Co workers if they were to find out..


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22185312 - 09/03/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

With that pussy attitude, you'll never do well with woman. Fuck what people think,you are the man. Don't forget that.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #10

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22190284 - 09/04/15 09:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
With that pussy attitude, you'll never do well with woman. Fuck what people think,you are the man. Don't forget that.




From #1's last post, i thought she was the girl

:loldongs:





I touched the hand of god and crushed in his fucking teeth


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22191245 - 09/05/15 01:48 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm a girl - I have best luck with OKCupid.  The guys on POF that I was meeting on POF gave bad vibes, I met about 30 in person and every single one of them was down to fuck that instant and wanted to just hook up.  Absolutely none of them wanted to be a guy who shared dates with their girl and had fun learning about each other and so on as dating and relationships go.  They just wanted to fuck and be out.  So I honestly fucking quit that site and give it bad ratings anytime it comes up.  I also got raped by one of the guys - I was trying to leave his apartment and he grabs me and throws me on the couch and pulls up my skirt and tries to shove it in but his dick was too small so he only got it in my ass crack but fuck him.  Fuck everyone on POF that I met.

I hate being treated like a single mom too.  I am a working class professional business woman.  I do not date men with kids. And I do not date smokers.

It's hard to find someone but online dating gives options to meeting people who don't enjoy the bar scene.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #22191260 - 09/05/15 02:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Also I do not fuck on first, second or third dates.  I'll wait til the 15th or 30th date if I feel I want to, I mean at that point we probably are because sexual compatibility is part of why I continue dating someone but this is about sharing relationships, which sex is only a part of.  Btw by the 15th or 30th date it wouldn't just have been dates at that point, I mostly look for guys who fall easily in line with my life as a friend I can spend time with outside of specifically dating.  I want to hang out in the afternoon and play video games and spend the night making homemade pasta and sauce or something, not going out on dates all the time.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #10

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #11] * 1
    #22194762 - 09/05/15 09:49 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You don't date smokers?

:canthelpbutlaugh:

Does it depend on what they smoke? or are you only talking about tobacco?


You sound like a fat bitch to be honest


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #22195024 - 09/05/15 10:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm talking about tobacco mostly but I won't date someone who lives in a cloud of pot smoke either.  They have to be a professional get up and go physically active and fit type guy.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #10

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #22195171 - 09/05/15 11:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

plenty of people are that type of guy, yet they smoke as well.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #12

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #22196067 - 09/06/15 08:05 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yep - a picky controlling ugly bitch princess-type not worth a guy's time from the sounds of it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #12] * 2
    #22196336 - 09/06/15 09:35 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
Yep - a picky controlling ugly bitch princess-type not worth a guy's time from the sounds of it.




Guys, let anon #11 be proof as to what I was saying my first post in here.

Online dating makes these woman ultra picky, and think they deserve nothing but the best. Theres a reason why anon #11 went on dozens of dates. I wouldn't be surprised if most of those you were just to 'good for.' And if what you are saying is true, that they all just wanted to fuck you and bail, that means you are terrible and picking men, and likely pick the most attractive/cool/rich men instead of the more suitable type. More proof online dating makes woman impossibly shallow.

Also, let her be an example of the woman who think she wants to be taken out and not just fucked. Use this to your advantage gentlemen. Pretend like your into her for a date or two, she will spread her legs after a week or so. It's the long con. It's totally worth it sometimes if you want to put in the effort, and who knows you might actually end up enjoying her company.

This is all a game, you have to learn to play it even if your personality type doesn't normally play games.

Most of the woman you meet will be completely insufferable (see anon11), but please don't let that scare you away from all woman. The woman on these sites are such awful people they can't meet men in real life, this makes them the lowest common denominator in dating. There are exceptions and gems, but realize what you are working with and don't let it discourage you.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #22197856 - 09/06/15 03:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

OP, how old are you? What are you doing worrying about what other people think of where you find people to date? (Or even just to fuck?) That tells me one of two things: either you need to find new friends that aren't assholes about what you do with your time, or you need to man up and get over your fears of what anyone else thinks.

I dated on OKCupid for a while. As the name implies, it was okay. Not bad, not great. It's what you make of it. Let me detail you my experience as a girl.

Being honest with myself, I'm probably a 7/10. I don't consider myself unattractive, but I'm not a prize catch either. Quite honestly, my appeal is my interests and expectations from a relationship. Regardless of this, my inbox would fill up pretty quickly with messages from guys. Almost all of them were something like this:

"hey how's it going? you're very pretty and I think it's cool that you do [x]"

Now, if you send a message like that, you are NOT going to get a response. That's what literally four out of five messages look like, and responding to that over and over again is exhausting, particularly when it doesn't seem like there's any sort of compatibility between the people. Now imagine how many messages a girl more attractive than myself gets.

Other things to know about OKC: There are about equal numbers of guys and girls, but guys do most of the messaging. This is caused by a couple of things. Guys have long been expected to make the first move to open a relationship-seeking dialogue. The other thing keeping girls from messaging guys is that a LOT of guys find it a turn off when a girl makes that first move. Personally, I messaged quite a few guys who seemed really compatible. I got two replies.

Answer questions on the site's matchmaking questionnaires. They really do help filter out the chaff. It also helps when some rando messages you; when your Friend/Enemy rating is 24%/68% or something like that, there's a good chance you're not getting along.

FILL OUT YOUR PROFILE, and do it with something more interesting that just a basic listing of interests. That's great that you like hiking, cooking, and video games; so does everyone else here. Obviously they're not bad things to list, but try expanding on that. How often do you do outdoorsy shit? What kind of food do you like, or not like? (My last boyfriend didn't like Italian food, which happens to be my favorite; it was kind of an issue.) What kind of video games do you play? I love the shit out of some Skyrim or Fallout, even sitting down and watching someone else play. But do I want to listen to you pwning n00bs all day on CoD? Fuck no. Those are the kind of details that keep the obnoxious princesses away. Also, put pictures up! Do you have animals? Dogs? Post that shit. Bitches love bitches.

Don't be afraid to go on dates you're not all that interested in. Think of them like practice dates. Every date you do on with someone who doesn't quite fit your standards will make it that much easier to talk to the kind of person who does. Don't be afraid to tell them that you had fun, but aren't interested in a second date. For one thing, dating around is the point. For another thing, you're never going to see them again.

Finally, a final consolation on people finding out that you met your girl on OKC, or PoF or whatever:



I was nervous too when I had to tell people I met my boyfriend on OKC. You know what their reaction was? Surprised interest. Like, every time. Usually, that led to a conversation about what it was like to date people online. More and more people are starting to do it, it's not a weird thing. My parents met on Match, as did my old boss and his now-fiancee. I got a couple of coworkers to try it out. It's really not as stigmatized as it once was. We live in a new age; embrace it.

EDIT: Also, Anon #7?



Edited by Anonymous (09/06/15 03:48 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22198722 - 09/06/15 06:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks for the valuable tidbits anon13. Not sure why you are flipping me off for keeping it real, as a woman, I doubt you understand the struggles men go through on these websites. Everything I said is 100% true.

There are cool girls on there, maybe youre one of them, but people should realize what to realistically expect.

I also find it funny that you claim certain messages won't get a response, but don't give alternatives to messages that you feel will get a response. I'd be interested to hear a womans take on this.

-danielx



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22198772 - 09/06/15 07:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #13 said:
EDIT: Also, Anon #7?






AKA "Rick Rape". :cop:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #22199443 - 09/06/15 08:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #7 said:
Thanks for the valuable tidbits anon13. Not sure why you are flipping me off for keeping it real, as a woman, I doubt you understand the struggles men go through on these websites. Everything I said is 100% true.




The struggle? THE STRUGGLE! I genuinely lol'd, thank you for that.

#7, I feel like part of the reason you struggle on these dating sites is because you've written off most of their female users as unattractive, demented garbage. You cannot go onto a dating website with those expectations and see results. So instead, you resort to "playing the system" and leading a girl to believe you're interested in order to have sex. First and foremost, what shitty behavior for a goddamned adult. Second of all, it's not that hard to find a casual sex partner without lying to them. Like, seriously, the long con you're talking about is such a huge investment of time for sex when there are plenty of girls DTF with NSA.

There are a lot of girls on there that are unattractive. I'm not going to play like there aren't. The same goes for guys. There are people of all genders who will not appeal to you for a lot of different reasons, and odds are very good that there will be overwhelmingly more of them than there are good-looking, non-psycho, sexually-expressive ladies. The thing is, real life is the same way. But IRL, you're not focusing on each of them as a potential romantic partner. These girls seem so much worse to you than they do in person, but they're the same people. Not everyone who ends up on OKCupid goes there because they're continually turned down in face-to-face interactions. Some go because they don't like bars and clubs. Some go because they're trying to find someone to go to bars and clubs with. I would say most of them are there because you will meet people online that you might never have met otherwise, and the expectations are pretty clear upfront: "I'm messaging you because I think you're attractive and interesting and I'd like to pursue a relationship."

Quote:

There are cool girls on there, maybe youre one of them, but people should realize what to realistically expect.

I also find it funny that you claim certain messages won't get a response, but don't give alternatives to messages that you feel will get a response. I'd be interested to hear a womans take on this.

-danielx






A woman's take, eh?



If you wanna catch a girl's eye on OKCupid, your message needs to stand out from all the rest. Don't even bother commenting on her appearance. It's unnecessary. If she gets upset that you didn't start off telling her how beautiful she is, well, stay the hell away from that. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Non-crazy girls are aware that you messaged them for one of two reasons: nudes or pursuing a relationship. (In both of those cases, we're aware that you think we're pretty.)

You'll get fewer responses when you don't use correct grammar and punctuation to a reasonable degree. After you establish a conversation, it's not as important, but first impressions are everything.

We pay more attention if you start with something other than 'hi' or 'hey'. If you start with 'Hola!' or something unique, it shows us that you not only have a personality, but that you express it.

Read our profiles. First off, do we even sound like a person you'd get along with? You can bet we'll read yours after we get the message, so it's helpful if we actually have things in common. If we do, then mention one or two, but don't stop at 'I see you do [x]; what a coincidence as I also do [x].' Try an approach that leads to more conversation. It's hard to reply to an objective statement. Ask questions.

Example: "Hello there! My name's Robert; I was wondering if you'd be interested in chatting a bit? I saw that picture of your kayaking trip to Horse Tooth; I was just there last weekend! Do you go often?"

Let's break this example down.

Hello there!
Non-standard greeting.

My name's Robert; I was wondering if you'd be interested in chatting a bit?
Quick introduction, you don't need to start with a life story. We can talk about jobs, schooling, etc. later. Asking if she wants to chat gives her the option to continue or not; by nailing the rest of it and giving her power in the conversation, you ingratiate yourself.

I saw that picture of your kayaking trip to Horse Tooth; I was just there last weekend! Do you go often?
The statement starts with a detail indicating you read her profile. Then you mention yourself, bringing you into the circle with her interest. (It doesn't matter if you were actually there last weekend, just that you share that interest.) Finally, ending with a question invites her to continue the conversation.

Is this a better example of how to get a girl's attention online? We don't want to feel like we're being treated like every other girl, and if you just wanna bang, be straightforward with it. Lots of us are cool with that. If you guys need tips for dating sites, Google it, but click on the links aimed towards women. They'll tell you more about how to be successful because they're written by the people who want to hear them.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13] * 2
    #22199861 - 09/06/15 10:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #13 said:
#7, I feel like part of the reason you struggle on these dating sites is because you've written off most of their female users as unattractive, demented garbage. You cannot go onto a dating website with those expectations and see results.





I didn't go onto these dating websites immediately writing off woman. Infact, I went into it with an open mind. My opinion came from years of dating and meeting woman. This isn't just my opinion. Talk to almost any guy who has extensively used these websites, they'll report the same kinds of behavior.

Ive seen results from online dating. Ive had sex with handfuls of woman, and even dated a few for awhile because they were cool people. But it would be disingenuous to not give the whole truth to men looking to use it- they will have to weed through some serious bullshit and alot of really shitty people.

I don't expect you to understand anything I say, because online dating for men and woman is a totally different experience for obvious reasons.

I read this article before using POF, and after using these websites for years, I laugh about how right on this article seems to be. The part I bolded I found to be especially true. Ive had alot more success with beautiful woman just talking to them in real life. Online dating has made so ridiculously shallow. Even obese woman think they are gods gift to men. This guy hits the nail on the online dating head:

Quote:

If you are a man, you will initially view this website as a treasure chest of gold that has fallen into your lap. A free website with the opportunity to meet lots of women in your area? You never need enter a bar again and stumble up to that attractive woman by the counter with a gallon of Dutch Courage inside you. The reality, however, is far different. The ratio of men to women is about 7:1 and the end result is swarms of men fighting for the attention of one woman, not different from the barbarian days of the cavemen when they would clobber one another over the head in order to win the partner of their dreams.

Alas, these poor, naive souls are not even fighting for the partner of their dreams. Upon viewing the female profiles on the website, I discovered that there were a great deal of the following:

    Obese 18 – 30 year olds in skimpy clothes, pulling provocative, pouting poses and stating they need a ‘real man to handle a real woman.’
    Defiant single mothers with pictures of themselves and their kids, claiming that the kids come first and if the men on the site don’t like it, they can get lost.
    Women with their breasts out in their profile pictures with the headline, “DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE A PERVERT AND ONLY AFTER ONE THING.”
    Average-looking women who will have a long list of their likes/dislikes, needs and wants. “No tattooed men, no men without a car, no men who are shorter than 5’10, no men who live 20 miles away from me, no divorced men, no men who are still living at home with their parents…” And so forth. They will then go on to state that they want “a sweet, romantic, sensitive man who knows how to treat a woman.” In reality, no matter how sweet, romantic and sensitive the man messaging them is, if he isn’t harboring the same devilishly handsome looks as the majority of Hollywood actors, his message will be swiftly deleted. Oh, this cruel, shallow world.
    Older women over 50 who are searching for a toyboy.

This is only the beginning of the vicious cycle. A lot of the men on Plenty of Fish are only looking for one thing and they are willing to drop their standards to the bottom of the bucket in order to get it. No matter how overweight, ugly, demanding or rude the female may be, she will be inundated with messages from desperate men who need to satisfy their wayward libidos. Such men fall under the following:

    The ‘Sales’ man. This man will type out a general spill of, “I have read your profile and you sound extremely sweet. You look absolutely beautiful and I would love to have the opportunity to chat with you.” Without reading their profiles and regardless of what they look like, he then copies and pastes it out to a hundred women in his area and may receive about five responses in return, if he is lucky.
    The ‘Muscles’ man. This man will post numerous pictures of his rippling, toned torso, pout into the camera, and then send a message with one word, “Hey” in the belief that his bulging biceps will warrant a response. For some women, this does work.
    The ‘Joker’ man. This man will google an extremely unfunny joke and then post it to a bunch of women, hoping that this “humour” will strike him lucky. Usually fails.
    The ‘Great Pretender’. This man will pretend to be interested in aspects of the female’s profile but it isn’t long before he is asking to hook up for a drink to ‘discuss’ her interests in cycling and hiking.
    The ‘Straight-forward’ man. This man will just come out and say whatever he is hoping for, which is usually followed by a swift finger on the block button.
    The ‘Clueless’ man. This man will, like the ‘Sales’ man, send out copy and pasted spills; however, his will be about him and him alone. He will write 500 words on what he does for a living, what he is looking for, how he believes others view him, how he wants to find someone to spend the rest of his life with, his life’s work, his ambitions and what sports he likes. He will then end by saying, “Hopefully I haven’t bored you!” The irony.
    The ‘No-Pic Cheat’. This man is usually married or in a relationship and seems to think it is acceptable to flaunt his immorality in front of everyone with his audacious, “Not getting it at home, looking elsewhere: Females apply within” heading.

Thanks to such desperation, the women’s egos will be fed to the point of explosion. It no longer matters what the woman looks like (despite the fact that appearance is everything on Plenty of Fish). It won’t be long that the woman genuinely believes she really is this beautiful, stunning creature that she is being told she is every day by the overflow of males. Her ego will shoot to the roof and, as she is able to take her pick of any man on the site, the list of demands will become more and more unrealistic; any confidence which she possessed will immediately turn into arrogance and, suddenly, no man on the site is good enough, even the ones who are actually genuine; they find themselves falling into the same category as the desperadoes and creeps. This self-delusion soon creates bitterness and frustration in ALL of the men, who cannot understand how they are constantly rejected in such a rude manner by women they wouldn’t give a second glance to in the real world. They are usually completely ignored or receive a “You’re not my type” response to their well-planned message.

Personally, I find this type of arrogance mind-blowingly funny. I am strongly reminded of the children’s story ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ about a vain, self-infatuated Emperor who was conned by a pair of tailors into thinking the suit they were weaving for him was of magnificent splendor. They told him that the fabric was invisible to his eyes, but that everyone else could see it. The result was the Emperor stepping outside stark naked while his subjects had to pretend to admire “the suit.” In the end, the home truth was revealed by a small boy, who couldn’t understand why the Emperor was strolling around in his loins and flabby bits, and asked why he wasn’t wearing anything. In this instance, the deluded women represent the Emperor and the desperate men are the wily tailors.

I have spoken to many of the more decent men on the site who have been thoroughly dissatisfied with their experiences. One, who considered himself above average in looks,  informed me that he couldn’t believe it when an extremely large, 21 year old mother of two turned him down with a, “Sorry, you’re not tall enough.” He was 5’9, she was 5’5. Yet, despite the dismissive arrogance of the woman, her rejection was not with the intent to be cruel, but simply because she was probably so overwhelmed with messages that she only had one minute to spare typing a response before returning to the other 100 messages in her inbox. Besides – if she is receiving messages from the ‘cream of the crop’, she can take her pick and anyone not meeting the absolute requirement, sadly, has to go.

The problem with this site, as appears to be the problem with internet dating in general, is that people’s expectations are far too high. The truth is, everyone is riddled with flaws and we should take the bad with the good, or not at all. To create a list of what a man/woman should be and shouldn’t be is preposterous, not to mention downright hilarious. Similarly, there are a great deal of men and women on the site who completely contradict themselves. For example:  “I am a down to earth, intelligent person looking for similar. I have an excellent sense of humour” (even though there is nothing in the profile to suggest this). “I am open to most people for I believe that looks get boring after a while” (They then go on to state ‘No fat/short/etc men/women).

Meeting someone off Plenty of Fish can be similarly gruelling. When someone finally gets lucky enough to bring things into reality, it is not uncommon for the following to occur:

    People are usually ten stone heavier than their pictures.
    People are usually ten years older than their pictures.
    People are usually not the person in their pictures. (This is something I have difficulty understanding. If you are going to meet the person outside of the internet, wouldn’t it make sense to let them know who you really are? After all, they’re going to find out anyway.)
    Men will meet women who turn out to be a transsexuals.
    Women will meet men who are hooked on drugs.
    Men will meet women who are only interested in converting them to their political/religious beliefs.
    Men will meet women who are simply trying to make their boyfriends jealous.
    Women will meet men who will suggest living together on the first date and marriage on the second.

And after these disastrous experiences, people will resume their fishing and look for someone else, for the site is strangely addictive. The mind-boggling, disturbing cycle will then continue.

So, as you may have learned, Plenty of Fish is not all it’s cracked up to be. Despite the ‘Chemistry Tests’ (which apparently matches you with those who have similar results to you) and ‘Relationship Needs’ (which obviously knows you better than you know yourself and tells you what you need in a man/woman, including a customized, step by step plan of how to get it) and the range of ‘success stories’ printed on the site, it appears that this particular ocean is overflowing with angry, bitter men and stuck-up, deluded women. I’m sure the odd seahorse does spring up among all the trout but you would really have to wade through a lot of dirt to find it. So if you’re thinking of giving it a shot, happy fishing – or more importantly, good luck! (You’ll need it.)




PS-
Thanks for your tips on openers.


Edited by Anonymous (09/06/15 10:24 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22200017 - 09/06/15 11:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm sorry your experience with it has been so shitty. I can appreciate the frustration of what this guy has to say; I especially am glad he can see the issue from both sides. Girls wouldn't act the way they do on those sites without the encouragement of others. I haven't personally used PoF, but I spent a couple of years on OKC. I even met a few girls on there as friends; we went out for drinks a couple of times and talked about the site, in fact. If they're acting as abysmally different towards men than they are towards the females messaging them, well, fuck. That sucks and there's nothing to be done for it but to write them off. There's a small, niggling thought at the back of my mind that wonders what the demographics are like when you compare the two sites. It always seemed to me as though PoF attracted more conservative users, whereas OKC saw more liberal traffic. I don't know whether or not you used the latter, but I'd be interested to hear what the difference in reactions and standards was (if any) from the women on either site.

My initial reaction to you was, admittedly, vitriolic. It's a hard response to suppress when you spend several posts putting down my entire gender, describing them either as crazed, entitled, and ugly or as prizes to be won; it's pick-up artist behavior. I will certainly empathize with you and try to understand the difficulty you've had with the process if you can do the same and try to understand how much it sucks to be discounted as an entire demographic.

As for the openers, I'm always happy to help when it's requested. I do want to add that the one thing he is wrong about is the ratio of men to women. It's not so exaggerated, though it may feel that way sometimes. While I was using the site, it definitely didn't feel like there were very many men using it, which wouldn't have surprised me given the stupid stigma that started this entire thread.

From Quantcast (Nov. 2014)
-OkCupid - 53m/47w
-PlentyOfFish - 55m/45w
-eHarmony - 47m/53w
-match.com - 49m/51w


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22201889 - 09/07/15 12:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I wouldnt be surprised if those numbers were bullshitted by the websites to make themselves look better. Also, its a known fact atleast some of the paid websites were caught making fake female profiles to lure men in.


Sorry if you thought I was putting down your whole gender. I was just describing my experience. I did mention there are cool gems in the mix, some of which I've met and had a great time with. But for the most part men should realize they will have to seed through the above described stereotypes before meeting anyone cool, and I feel it's important for men to not get their hopes up and be let down. I've met people who had shit luck, and it severely affected their self confidence and self worth.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #9

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22201936 - 09/07/15 12:42 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I been lead on a whole lot from girls online and then they never ended up meeting me in person, so all that time was wasted.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #22202069 - 09/07/15 01:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I find that I have the most issues with english-speaking north American women.

Women in Croatia, Ukraine, Russia, Brazil, Venezuela, even Mexico are always so polite compared to those in the USA and even Canada.

So, is life. :-)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #15

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22203513 - 09/07/15 06:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Women suck of course they're goin to flake out or have second thoughts

Unless you're freaking brad pitt and you make 40,000 dollars a year stay away, it's not worth your time.

Which is why shitty apps like tinder are so succesful, the person on the other end doesn't want to marry you after the first month


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #22204527 - 09/07/15 09:12 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I think it's adorable that #15 thinks that fear of commitment is a trait attributed solely to women, and also that $40,000/year is worth marrying someone just for their money.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22204637 - 09/07/15 09:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I didnt quite get that 40k figure he threw out either, you must live in a poor ass place.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #16

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22205113 - 09/07/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It is good because it is just another avenue to meet women... If you want to find the "one" or even if you are on there to get some ass it is of course just an added supplement to your normal dating/going out routine where you try to get laid and/or find someone who means something to you. If you don't have these accounts and online avenues and you only go out to find women you are missing opportunities of course so you need to stop worrying about what you think other people's perceptions are and start thinking about what the point of you being on them is...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7] * 1
    #22206540 - 09/08/15 10:26 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Going on pof your description seems right to the T.... 3/4 of profiles are ugly and obese woman. Blatant shallowness in their headlines...  Headlines stating " 6ft or taller, guys with tattoos only,  gym bods only " the list goes on... It's hard to believe these women believe it's acceptable to act this way


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22207134 - 09/08/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

My profile states, "I'm attracted to intelligence - please do not message me if you don't have all your profile pictures right side up. lol And no hair stylists, or tattoos. I'm serious."

I also am not interested in smokers, children, angry profiles...

It is what it is - if there's a match, cool. If not, I'm in no hurry.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #10

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22208082 - 09/08/15 04:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #14 said:
My profile states, "I'm attracted to intelligence - please do not message me if you don't have all your profile pictures right side up. lol And no hair stylists, or tattoos. I'm serious."

I also am not interested in smokers, children, angry profiles...

It is what it is - if there's a match, cool. If not, I'm in no hurry.





You are just as bad as the people you are complaining about.


You are picky, just like them.

How about this: Interested in anyone who is real and legit. Companionship is why i am here, don't message me if you are just a shallow bitch looking for a hard body and a hard dick


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #17

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22208397 - 09/08/15 05:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I think the online experience is heavily dependent on location and age, as well as gender.

My experience with OKC was very positive. I met a lot of well-educated, attractive woman who were looking for a variety of things from causal dating to more serious relationships. I think the "pros" vastly outweigh the "cons": you can identify the most basic "dealbreakers." As an example, I could easily identify religious people that just aren't my cup of tea. You can also determine the basic level of attractiveness of the person and identify common interests.

The major "con" is that its competitive. However no more so than off-line dating. You guys complain the ratio of men chasing women is 7:1 (or whatever), but what do you think its like in real life? Same goes for all the other attributes described.

If you can't make it online,  your chances offline probably ain't much better.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #22208878 - 09/08/15 07:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #10 said:
How about this: Interested in anyone who is real and legit. Companionship is why i am here, don't message me if you are just a shallow bitch looking for a hard body and a hard dick





I'm a man looking for a woman - not a soft tinkerbelle looking to cuddle. lol


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #12

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22208890 - 09/08/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I'm on OKcupid - never dated a girl from there but one hit me up for friendship and hanging out though I moved away from the city before connecting with her. I really dig the site.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #22231248 - 09/13/15 11:33 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

if you're marrying for money 100k at least...and that's on the low scale


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #14

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #22231285 - 09/13/15 11:40 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #11 said:
if you're marrying for money 100k at least...and that's on the low scale




Hell, I call it lucky to find someone on the dating sites with an actual job.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #14]
    #22231365 - 09/13/15 12:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's true. Let's face it, many of us using dating sites are in our mid twenties, yeah? We're lucky if we can find a job, let alone a well-paying one.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #11

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #13]
    #22232516 - 09/13/15 04:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I look for and my profile states/matches only 28-45.  I usually date guys around my age though, 33.  I'm not looking for sex, I'm looking for commitment and eventually marriage.  The next person I have a relationship with I hope will be forever.

I don't look for supermodel hollywood looks.  I'm offended that has even been suggested, just because I say must be active doesn't mean I'm looking for ripped.  I date plenty guys who are probably 'average' but I like cute and different things about individual people. 

I'm university educated with two degrees and am looking for someone who pulls their weight in life while being an interesting person with good chemistry.  My average income is 60k and I'm looking for someone "comparable", depending on their job - if they're a missionary they probably aren't for me because religion but if they volunteer their time to nonprofits or something then great as long as they are doing something with their life.


Edited by Anonymous (09/13/15 04:25 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #7

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #11]
    #22232546 - 09/13/15 04:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Can I take you on a picknick #11? I'm not as big of an asshole as I appear on here, I just put on the facade because someone told me girls like assholes :awesome:

PM me.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #15

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #22236543 - 09/14/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

once you go below 30k you're supporting dead beat asshole:yesnod:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #12

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #15]
    #22236669 - 09/14/15 01:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I make 12k a year - that doesn't make me a deadbeat asshole.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #18

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #22236817 - 09/14/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Pros: There are tens of thousands of girls you can message

Cons: You'll never get a reply


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #15

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #22237298 - 09/14/15 03:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
I make 12k a year - that doesn't make me a deadbeat asshole.




Is that why you can't afford a savings account?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #12]
    #22237335 - 09/14/15 04:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous #12 said:
I make 12k a year - that doesn't make me a deadbeat asshole.



If someone else takes care of you and you are capable of taking care of yourself, then yes it does.  If you are completely self sufficient with that then it doesnt.  Unfortunately In the U.S. it is damn near impossible to live of 12k a year unless you are mooching off someone else.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #16

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22241125 - 09/15/15 12:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What if you are in school and have a promising career and future but still make less than 25k a year due to obvious reasons (intern at job, school, ect...)?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #13

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #16]
    #22241410 - 09/15/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What if you work two jobs and still struggle to breach the 20K mark? At 60-70 hours a week, I double dog dare you to call me a deadbeat.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #12

Re: online dating pros and cons... [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22241515 - 09/15/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I've done it for years without mooching. And accepting gifts of support without asking for them doesn't make one a deadbeat.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]

Shop: Bridgetown Botanicals Bridgetown Botanicals   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   North Spore Bulk Substrate


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* If you could pay to have other users banned... *DELETED*
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Anonymous 8,024 86 07/22/09 04:38 PM
by Anonymous
* I refuse to post anonymously here. Anonymous 1,763 13 04/08/10 07:23 PM
by Anonymous
* Talk to an anonymous stranger!
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
Anonymous 8,556 89 07/08/09 10:35 PM
by Anonymous
* Hating how you look?
( 1 2 3 all )
Anonymous 5,070 50 02/17/10 05:09 AM
by Anonymous
* The "reality" of this forum - a disclaimer for n00bs
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Anonymous 7,498 64 10/05/10 07:21 PM
by Anonymous
* what if Anonymous 713 19 09/17/07 07:46 AM
by Anonymous

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: trendal, Shroomism, george castanza, Alan Rockefeller, yogabunny
671 topic views. 0 members, 8 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.034 seconds spending 0.01 seconds on 14 queries.