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initiatethehello
Stranger

Registered: 02/11/08
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silly question. just curious on what you'd do.
#22167772 - 08/31/15 05:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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so one of my best friends of over five years who i live with decided to mack on one of my ex's after i clearly told him it would absolutely bother the fuck out of me.
tonight he had her over, they've never hung out together and yadayada. so upset by the situation and the feeling of betrayal from both parties i decided to just go up to the attic and smoke the night away.
little did i know that i would be able to hear their conversation quite clearly through the attic flooring.
she totally expressed how she would feel guilty as a result of doing something and he proceeded to not give a fuck whatsoever and eventually succeeded in seduction.
so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me? should i confront him about and civilly elaborate on how much of a dick he is for doing so? just let it go like nothing ever happened and pretend to be a jolly good fellow. or just pack up and dip, talk to the landlord since it was mentioned we could terminate our lease at any time?
all of thee above?
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xpsprogamer
TrippyTrauma

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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22167808 - 08/31/15 05:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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IMO if he did it just to hook up with her then he's a total fuck tard. but if they really do want to be together then u have to respect there feelings. you can choose who to be friends with not who u care about. let me tell u a lil story.
about 9 years ago i worked with this kid and we became really good friends. we were friends for about 4-5 years, one day i invited him over to smoke some bud and hang out. so he came out about 4pm and we smoked between 4 ppl. me, my wife, my friend, and my mother-in-law. the whole time we were smoking and hanging out my mother-in-law(34 years old) and my friend(21 year only) were flirting and shit back and forth. so i pulled my buddy aside and i politely told him how uncomfortable they were making me and my wife. he said that he understood but when we went back in the living room it was as if our conversation never happened. this went on all night... roughly 11pm i told my buddy it was getting late and was about time for bed. so i started getting ready for bed, getting changed and rolled another blunt. after we smoked it he instead of heading home headed up stairs with my mother-in-law, and oh id say ten minutes later it was obvious what was going on up stairs... i have to give him credit cuz it went on for about an hour and a half... on and off of course. the next morning i informed him of how i felt and like ur friend he really didn't seem to care much.... that being said its been 4 years since it has happened and i have totally cut him out of my life.
so to answer ur question. if ur friend is just looking to get his dick wet and he just happens to pick ur ex even after you've told him how it would make u feel. then he was never a real friend. and its time to cut him loose. but if it starts to become a real relationship then you have to realize that there happiness is just as important as urs. if thats the case you need to be happy for ur friend and get over it. i hope this helps you in your decision.
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Shroomslip
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22167816 - 08/31/15 05:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Conflicted.
He's your best friend and knows it would bother you but did it anyways, which makes him a dick. She's your ex, who she fucks should no longer be any concern of yours. Both of these are totally contradictory.
However, if he really is your best friend, this is not friendship erasing shit. I mean if he told you it bothered him that you drove a car and added to the pollution, would you stop driving your car? Even your best friend or soul mate is going to do things at times that piss you off. The true test of the relationship is how you move passed it.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/31/15 05:46 AM)
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CosmicFool
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
#22167823 - 08/31/15 05:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I thought she was your ex, why do you care who she's being plowed by? did you guys just break up? are you not over her?
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The Moose
Alces alces


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: CosmicFool]
#22167825 - 08/31/15 05:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I mean... EX. You're really going to pack your shit and move because of an ex? That seems extreme...
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xpsprogamer
TrippyTrauma

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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: The Moose] 1
#22168080 - 08/31/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex. it's about the lack of respect the friend has for him. his friend could have gotten his dick wet any where. the friend should have respected his wishes and not gone for it. although i do see that it is an EX and he shouldnt care n e more n e ways. especially if he broke up with her. now if she broke up with him i can see if being pissed... and that depends on how long they been broken up. if its been a few months then u have to realize ur the asshole. if its that week then that a whole other store.. but in the end she's an ex and is for a reason. your relationship had many flaws and one of u realized that they would continue to be unhappy. and if he's your best friend then an EX shouldnt come between that. unless you guys can convince her in to the 3 way...
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RanOutOfWeed
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello] 1
#22168092 - 08/31/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hanging around people who are assholes is not a good idea. Have some self respect
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Shroomslip
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: xpsprogamer]
#22168117 - 08/31/15 08:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
xpsprogamer said: Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex.
But it does. It has as much to do with the fact that his friend knew it bothered him and he did it anyways. Like I said, the two things are entirely contradictory. This is one of those grey areas with no clear answer.
Beyond that, I still think he's overreacting. He has a right (maybe freedom is a better word) to be pissed, but he's talking like a 5 year friendship is over because his friend nailed his ex. It's not like he caught him fucking her while they were still dating. When the relationship is over, you lose any say you have in the matter of who she fucks. Doesn't even matter who broke up with who. A real friend wouldn't have pursued it if he knew it bothered him though.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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qman
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
#22168135 - 08/31/15 08:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Just because the OP requested his friend not to get involved with his ex, it doesn't mean it's a reasonable expectation.
A mature person doesn't dictate how consenting adults should relate to each other, that fact that his feelings might be hurt is his issue, he shouldn't even mention it to other people.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
#22168139 - 08/31/15 08:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's a clear example of his friends thought processes though. His friend served himself with out care for OP. It would be a good bet to say that will happen again in the future when something 'worth it' is dangled in front of his buddy. What we have here is a subtle one way motherfucker.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Shroomslip
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Amanita86]
#22168153 - 08/31/15 08:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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This is what I mean I will not be at all surprised if you get a damn near perfect 50/50 split on opinion in this. Both are very valid points.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22168167 - 08/31/15 08:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Personally I feel that as hard as it is if you broke up she is free to date whoever she wants and your friend if he is single is free to date whoever he wants and if they are happy together you should try to be happy for them or at least not care and focus on your own life.
I never liked how guys have the idea that if they fucked/dated a girl and broke up with her she is somehow a taboo stigmatized off limits human to everyone else forever more, its unrealistic, unfair, and generally illogical.
Some guys don't even want you to be friends with their ex girlfriends even if you got to be friends with them while they were dating. its not nice or fair to suddenly cut them out just because you broke up, its like asking them to not only lose their boyfriend but also a bunch of friends/whole social circle at the same time.
And for me it would mean I would have lost like half my friends as most of my female friends became my friends while they were dating guys that were my friends who they since broke up with.
I refuse to do it and as a result I have a lot more female friends who I love then I otherwise would, and I think the guys who got mad at me for it were being , as joe rogan puts it "weak bitches".
Find yourself a new girl and be happy, dont waste your time and energy on pointless resentment over the happiness of others.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Tantrika
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22168170 - 08/31/15 09:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
initiatethehello said: so one of my best friends of over five years who i live with decided to mack on one of my ex's after i clearly told him it would absolutely bother the fuck out of me. ... she totally expressed how she would feel guilty as a result of doing something and he proceeded to not give a fuck whatsoever and eventually succeeded in seduction.
so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me? should i confront him about and civilly elaborate on how much of a dick he is for doing so? just let it go like nothing ever happened and pretend to be a jolly good fellow. or just pack up and dip, talk to the landlord since it was mentioned we could terminate our lease at any time?
all of thee above?
If it bothers you, then tell him that it bothers you and it is the reason why you are cutting ties. You told him you would appreciate him not doing something, he did it anyway. It is not your place to dictate what someone should or should not do, but if you told him you would object to it and he did it anyway, then stick to your conviction.
If it genuinely doesn't bother you enough to cut a friend loose, then stop concerning yourself with your ex and stop telling other guys that it would upset you.
Personally fall into the latter category, it would not bother me and I would not have told him to keep away from her in the first place. 
Sure, my dick was in it at some point, but it's her pussy to do what she wants with. The part of your post that gets me more was your mention that after she objected to the idea he kept working to get her into it. By your description, it sounds like he cared more about getting his dick wet than he does about either your feelings on the matter or even hers.
Of course, you cutting ties with him over this could trigger her guilt and cause her to cut things off with him, or it could encourage her that you're out of the way and she is clear to ride.
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Soul-Shine

Registered: 11/02/13
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Tantrika]
#22168212 - 08/31/15 09:26 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I see it as being taken two ways:
1) he's a close buddy of yours and should respect your feelings
2) perhaps you should respect their feelings. Maybe they are each other's perfect partner - not having met without you. Would you really want to stop a match like that from happening?
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Amanita86
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Registered: 09/26/12
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Soul-Shine]
#22168223 - 08/31/15 09:29 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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3)Maybe they're just sport fucking and don't have the decency or respect to take it somewhere else for the sake of the 'other friend'.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Amanita86]
#22168234 - 08/31/15 09:31 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Take it somewhere else? Were they fucking In OPs house or something?
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Everything I post is fiction.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22168244 - 08/31/15 09:33 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah it sounds like he and the friend live in the same house.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: psi]
#22168253 - 08/31/15 09:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Still do? I understood it to be "used to".
That does complicate things. If you cant get away from it/them its a real imposition on your comfort. But in that case the solution is to find private living space and accommodation, not try to constrain the relationships, love or sex lives of other adults.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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psi
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22168271 - 08/31/15 09:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah, he says so in the first post.
Quote:
one of my best friends of over five years who i live with
Quote:
Moonshoe said: the solution is to find private living space and accommodation, not try to constrain the relationships, love or sex lives of other adults.
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Prisoner#1
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello] 2
#22168277 - 08/31/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
initiatethehello said:
so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me?
how about growing the fuck up and leaving this middle school bullshit behind you
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana



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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: The Moose]
#22168567 - 08/31/15 11:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I stopped being friends with this dude I used to be really close with because he fucked my ex Never looked back. Made me realize how much of a dick he was to begin with. He was always trying to fuck our other friends' girls.
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Connoisseur said: oh ive cried on drugs sunshine said: Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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CosmicFool
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: xpsprogamer]
#22169044 - 08/31/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
xpsprogamer said: Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex. it's about the lack of respect the friend has for him. his friend could have gotten his dick wet any where. the friend should have respected his wishes and not gone for it.
so you are saying: if you were given a pizza but after a few slices decided you don't like pineapple so you put the pizza outside where anyone could have a slice but because you had a slice you don't want your friend to have a slice and call him a crappy friend if he helps himself?
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Moonshoe
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: CosmicFool]
#22169055 - 08/31/15 12:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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At a basic level it comes down to "i had that once therefore no one I know should ever have it"
But I can see how it makes things akward and could break up the friendship, it its painful for you to see that girl with your friend and they end up together you might stop seeing that friend, but he still isnt ultimately doing anything wrong, you are just hung up.
All is fair in love and war they say. Not true perhaps but if he really likes the girl and she really likes him, shit is going to happen and a friend's hurt feelings are not going to stop it.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22169081 - 08/31/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I mean I can understand feeling awkward about the roommate situation with this going on, but yeah this notion of eternal dibs on someone you're not with any more is bullshit.
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Dr.Wongburger
Yes!!


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: psi]
#22169099 - 08/31/15 01:12 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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This thread... The bro advice is great hehe. Forgive and forget right? Up to you. I would put it behind me. At least let him know whats up if you decide not to hang out any more, saying no hard feelings but you cant be around him any more. Live your own life.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22169146 - 08/31/15 01:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I would wanna move out too.
Starting a fight might lead to more fights.
Ive been in a similar situation before too. A new girlfriend started getting close to my best friend, then it got romantic. We werent Ex's thou, just long distance.
I would move out, its tough real tough to be betrayed by a friend and your Ex at the same time. Real hard.
Time to get out. It wont stop bothering you, i promise u that.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
#22169166 - 08/31/15 01:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I mean I understand, if my wife and I broke up and she started dating my best friend it would be really rough and would probably lead to me not seeing my best friend any more. But ideally I would love to be so cool with myself and life that It wouldn't bother me. In theory it shouldn't but in reality we are human and our primate egos are still very active with all the possessiveness and insecurity that goes along with it.
But we can transcend that stuff and must try our best to.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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initiatethehello
Stranger

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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22169297 - 08/31/15 01:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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thanks for the replies everyone.
i may have definitely overreacted at the time of posting this, but i still stand by my sentiments. i've been so good to this dude for so long despite him acting in really inappropriate highly self-centered ways.
i've had discomfort with him for quite sometime now and this was just the cherry on the top.
again, thank you all for your opinions.
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Lophosaurus
suruasohpol


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello] 1
#22169389 - 08/31/15 02:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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If my friend asked me not to bang some girl then I wouldn't do it, especially if it was someone he had a serious relationship with at some point. There are literally billions of girls he could've had sex with. He chose to disrespect you and that just doesn't seem like something a friend would do. If it was me I would move out, but you have to make your own decisions. I don't know how close you guys actually are.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Lophosaurus]
#22169402 - 08/31/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You say that but if there was sufficient chemistry, you were immensely attracted to her, your personalities clicked, you fell in love with her etc, you most likely WOULD.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Lophosaurus
suruasohpol


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22169458 - 08/31/15 02:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nope, if it was a friends girl I would never let it get that far. I'm attracted to lots of girls with similar personalities who are off limits and I never try to mess around with them. Well I'm married now, but in my single days I would never try anything with my friends girls.
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qman
Stranger

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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Lophosaurus]
#22169474 - 08/31/15 02:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lophosaurus said: If my friend asked me not to bang some girl then I wouldn't do it, especially if it was someone he had a serious relationship with at some point. There are literally billions of girls he could've had sex with. He chose to disrespect you and that just doesn't seem like something a friend would do. If it was me I would move out, but you have to make your own decisions. I don't know how close you guys actually are.
"If my friend asked me not to bang some girl then I wouldn't do it"
I would never ask in the first place, it's embarrassing and degrading to ask another male to NOT stick his dick into some female.
It shows the world that you're a pathetic little bitch that's afraid of a dick being in something you used to fuck yourself, "because it might hurt your feelings". 
Some of you guys act like a bunch of little girls instead of men, WTF? Have some fucking pride and at least act like you don't give a shit!!
Edited by qman (08/31/15 02:44 PM)
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: qman]
#22169508 - 08/31/15 02:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thats a bit harsher way of saying but generally how I feel to. If its over its over. You cant have it both ways. You can expect your friends NOT to make a move on a girl you are with and be totally within your rights, but you can't ask them not to make a move on a girl you are not even with. There is simply no grounds for it.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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initiatethehello
Stranger

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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
#22169587 - 08/31/15 03:02 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Moonshoe said: Thats a bit harsher way of saying but generally how I feel to. If its over its over. You cant have it both ways. You can expect your friends NOT to make a move on a girl you are with and be totally within your rights, but you can't ask them not to make a move on a girl you are not even with. There is simply no grounds for it.
yeah, for sure. never did I tell him he couldn't. i just said nice and clear, 'yeah dude, it would bother me.' there are so many beautiful fish in the sea, why choose the one that would inflict discomfort and suffering on a friend just to get your dick wet.
but yeah, i didn't pee on her or anything.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22169597 - 08/31/15 03:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Its easy to say "there are a lot of beautiful fish in the sea" but in many cases people have a very hard time finding anyone and for some people sex and relationships can be a real struggle. I know for sure there are a lot of people who go a long time without any real opportunities, and for those people if a girl shows interest, its not so easy saying no with no guarantee you will get another chance any time soon.
Don't get me wrong I totally get where you are coming from, but the best way to "get back" at them is just to be cool and happy and not let it bother you.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Lophosaurus
suruasohpol


Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 8,744
Loc: CA
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: qman]
#22169627 - 08/31/15 03:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
qman said:
Quote:
Lophosaurus said: If my friend asked me not to bang some girl then I wouldn't do it, especially if it was someone he had a serious relationship with at some point. There are literally billions of girls he could've had sex with. He chose to disrespect you and that just doesn't seem like something a friend would do. If it was me I would move out, but you have to make your own decisions. I don't know how close you guys actually are.
"If my friend asked me not to bang some girl then I wouldn't do it"
I would never ask in the first place, it's embarrassing and degrading to ask another male to NOT stick his dick into some female.
It shows the world that you're a pathetic little bitch that's afraid of a dick being in something you used to fuck yourself, "because it might hurt your feelings". 
Some of you guys act like a bunch of little girls instead of men, WTF? Have some fucking pride and at least act like you don't give a shit!!
If my friend would be a pathetic little prick for asking, it wouldn't influence how I acted. He's still my friend and I wouldn't do that to him. Why hurt his feelings when I could just get another girl.
I think this situation is different than most because he lives with his best friend and still has feelings for this girl. He's going to have to see them making out on the couch and hear them having sex in his own house. I don't think it was wrong of him to ask his friend not to get with his ex. Actually he shouldn't even have to ask, his friend should just know to find a different girl.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
#22169695 - 08/31/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How long has it been since you and your ex broke up?
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: nicechrisman]
#22170118 - 08/31/15 05:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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His friend showed no regard for his feelings and a lack of respect towards him as a person. His friend being in his apartment and pushy about it makes it even worse.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: CosmicFool]
#22171797 - 08/31/15 10:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
CosmicFool said:
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xpsprogamer said: Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex. it's about the lack of respect the friend has for him. his friend could have gotten his dick wet any where. the friend should have respected his wishes and not gone for it.
so you are saying: if you were given a pizza but after a few slices decided you don't like pineapple so you put the pizza outside where anyone could have a slice but because you had a slice you don't want your friend to have a slice and call him a crappy friend if he helps himself?
Pizza compared to an intimate relationship with a human...
...yeeaah ok, there's been times when the pizza finally shows up and it's just like that.. fair enough.
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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