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Offlineinitiatethehello
Stranger

Registered: 02/11/08
Posts: 454
Last seen: 6 years, 28 days
silly question. just curious on what you'd do.
    #22167772 - 08/31/15 05:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

so one of my best friends of over five years who i live with decided to mack on one of my ex's after i clearly told him it would absolutely bother the fuck out of me.

tonight he had her over, they've never hung out together and yadayada.  so upset by the situation and the feeling of betrayal from both parties i decided to just go up to the attic and smoke the night away.

little did i know that i would be able to hear their conversation quite clearly through the attic flooring. 

she totally expressed how she would feel guilty as a result of doing something and he proceeded to not give a fuck whatsoever and eventually succeeded in seduction.

so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me?  should i confront him about and civilly elaborate on how much of a dick he is for doing so?  just let it go like nothing ever happened and pretend to be a jolly good fellow.  or just pack up and dip, talk to the landlord since it was mentioned we could terminate our lease at any time?

all of thee above?


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Offlinexpsprogamer
TrippyTrauma

Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 98
Loc: NorthEast U.S.
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
    #22167808 - 08/31/15 05:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

IMO if he did it just to hook up with her then he's a total fuck tard. but if they really do want to be together then u have to respect there feelings. you can choose who to be friends with not who u care about. let me tell u a lil story.

about 9 years ago i worked with this kid and we became really good friends. we were friends for about 4-5 years, one day i invited him over to smoke some bud and hang out. so he came out about 4pm and we smoked between 4 ppl. me, my wife, my friend, and my mother-in-law. the whole time we were smoking and hanging out my mother-in-law(34 years old) and my friend(21 year only) were flirting and shit back and forth. so i pulled my buddy aside and i politely told him how uncomfortable they were making me and my wife. he said that he understood but when we went back in the living room it was as if our conversation never happened. this went on all night... roughly 11pm i told my buddy it was getting late and was about time for bed. so i started getting ready for bed, getting changed and rolled another blunt. after we smoked it he instead of heading home headed up stairs with my mother-in-law, and oh id say ten minutes later it was obvious what was going on up stairs... i have to give him credit cuz it went on for about an hour and a half... on and off of course. the next morning i informed him of how i felt and like ur friend he really didn't seem to care much.... that being said its been 4 years since it has happened and i have totally cut him out of my life.

so to answer ur question. if ur friend is just looking to get his dick wet and he just happens to pick ur ex even after you've told him how it would make u feel. then he was never a real friend. and its time to cut him loose. but if it starts to become a real relationship then you have to realize that there happiness is just as important as urs. if thats the case you need to be happy for ur friend and get over it. i hope this helps you in your decision.


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OfflineShroomslip
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I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
    #22167816 - 08/31/15 05:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Conflicted.

He's your best friend and knows it would bother you but did it anyways, which makes him a dick. She's your ex, who she fucks should no longer be any concern of yours. Both of these are totally contradictory.

However, if he really is your best friend, this is not friendship erasing shit. I mean if he told you it bothered him that you drove a car and added to the pollution, would you stop driving your car? Even your best friend or soul mate is going to do things at times that piss you off. The true test of the relationship is how you move passed it.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (08/31/15 05:46 AM)


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OfflineCosmicFool
Psychoholic
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Registered: 05/14/06
Posts: 9,581
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22167823 - 08/31/15 05:56 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I thought she was your ex,
why do you care who she's being plowed by?
did you guys just break up? are you not over her?


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OfflineThe Moose
Alces alces


Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 2,389
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: CosmicFool]
    #22167825 - 08/31/15 05:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I mean... EX. You're really going to pack your shit and move because of an ex? That seems extreme...


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Offlinexpsprogamer
TrippyTrauma

Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 98
Loc: NorthEast U.S.
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: The Moose] * 1
    #22168080 - 08/31/15 08:23 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex. it's about the lack of respect the friend has for him. his friend could have gotten his dick wet any where. the friend should have respected his wishes and not gone for it. although i do see that it is an EX and he shouldnt care n e more n e ways. especially if he broke up with her. now if she broke up with him i can see if being pissed... and that depends on how long they been broken up. if its been a few months then u have to realize ur the asshole. if its that week then that a whole other store..  but in the end she's an ex and is for a reason. your relationship had many flaws and one of u realized that they would continue to be unhappy. and if he's your best friend then an EX shouldnt come between that. unless you guys can convince her in to the 3 way...


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OfflineRanOutOfWeed
Sleepy
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Registered: 12/29/13
Posts: 2,975
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello] * 1
    #22168092 - 08/31/15 08:28 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Hanging around people who are assholes is not a good idea. Have some self respect


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OfflineShroomslip
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Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: xpsprogamer]
    #22168117 - 08/31/15 08:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

xpsprogamer said:
Guys it has nothing to do with the fact that its an ex.



But it does. It has as much to do with the fact that his friend knew it bothered him and he did it anyways. Like I said, the two things are entirely contradictory. This is one of those grey areas with no clear answer.

Beyond that, I still think he's overreacting. He has a right (maybe freedom is a better word) to be pissed, but he's talking like a 5 year friendship is over because his friend nailed his ex. It's not like he caught him fucking her while they were still dating. When the relationship is over, you lose any say you have in the matter of who she fucks. Doesn't even matter who broke up with who. A real friend wouldn't have pursued it if he knew it bothered him though.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Offlineqman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 48 minutes, 46 seconds
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22168135 - 08/31/15 08:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Just because the OP requested his friend not to get involved with his ex, it doesn't mean it's a reasonable expectation.

A mature person doesn't dictate how consenting adults should relate to each other, that fact that his feelings might be hurt is his issue, he shouldn't even mention it to other people.


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22168139 - 08/31/15 08:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It's a clear example of his friends thought processes though.  His friend served himself with out care for OP.  It would be a good bet to say that will happen again in the future when something 'worth it' is dangled in front of his buddy.  What we have here is a subtle one way motherfucker.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Amanita86]
    #22168153 - 08/31/15 08:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

This is what I mean :lol: I will not be at all surprised if you get a damn near perfect 50/50 split on opinion in this. Both are very valid points.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
    #22168167 - 08/31/15 08:59 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Personally I feel that as hard as it is if you broke up she is free to date whoever she wants and your friend if he is single is free to date whoever he wants and if they are happy together you should try to be happy for them or at least not care and focus on your own life.

I never liked how guys have the idea that if they fucked/dated a girl and broke up with her she is somehow a taboo stigmatized off limits human to everyone else forever more, its unrealistic, unfair, and generally illogical.

Some guys don't even want you to be friends with their ex girlfriends even if you got to be friends with them while they were dating. its not nice or fair to suddenly cut them out just because you broke up, its like asking them to not only lose their boyfriend but also a bunch of friends/whole social circle at the same time.

And for me it would mean I would have lost like half my friends as most of my female friends became my friends while they were dating guys that were my friends who they since broke up with.

I refuse to do it and as a result I have a lot more female friends who I love then I otherwise would, and I think the guys who got mad at me for it were being , as joe rogan puts it "weak bitches".

Find yourself a new girl and be happy, dont waste your  time and energy on pointless resentment over the happiness of others.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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InvisibleTantrika
Miss Ann Thrope
Female


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 03/26/12
Posts: 17,138
Loc: Lashed to the pyre
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello]
    #22168170 - 08/31/15 09:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

initiatethehello said:
so one of my best friends of over five years who i live with decided to mack on one of my ex's after i clearly told him it would absolutely bother the fuck out of me.
...
she totally expressed how she would feel guilty as a result of doing something and he proceeded to not give a fuck whatsoever and eventually succeeded in seduction.

so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me?  should i confront him about and civilly elaborate on how much of a dick he is for doing so?  just let it go like nothing ever happened and pretend to be a jolly good fellow.  or just pack up and dip, talk to the landlord since it was mentioned we could terminate our lease at any time?

all of thee above?




If it bothers you, then tell him that it bothers you and it is the reason why you are cutting ties.
You told him you would appreciate him not doing something, he did it anyway.
It is not your place to dictate what someone should or should not do, but if you told him you would object to it and he did it anyway, then stick to your conviction.

If it genuinely doesn't bother you enough to cut a friend loose, then stop concerning yourself with your ex and stop telling other guys that it would upset you.

Personally fall into the latter category, it would not bother me and I would not have told him to keep away from her in the first place. :shrug:

Sure, my dick was in it at some point, but it's her pussy to do what she wants with.
The part of your post that gets me more was your mention that after she objected to the idea he kept working to get her into it.  By your description, it sounds like he cared more about getting his dick wet than he does about either your feelings on the matter or even hers.

Of course, you cutting ties with him over this could trigger her guilt and cause her to cut things off with him, or it could encourage her that you're out of the way and she is clear to ride.
:pantytail:


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InvisibleSoul-Shine

Registered: 11/02/13
Posts: 338
Loc: Within and Without
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Tantrika]
    #22168212 - 08/31/15 09:26 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I see it as being taken two ways:

1) he's a close buddy of yours and should respect your feelings

2) perhaps you should respect their feelings. Maybe they are each other's perfect partner - not having met without you. Would you really want to stop a match like that from happening?


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Soul-Shine]
    #22168223 - 08/31/15 09:29 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

3)Maybe they're just sport fucking and don't have the decency or respect to take it somewhere else for the sake of the 'other friend'.


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Amanita86]
    #22168234 - 08/31/15 09:31 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Take it somewhere else? Were they fucking In OPs house or something?


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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Invisiblepsi
TOAST N' JAM
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Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613 Flag
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22168244 - 08/31/15 09:33 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah it sounds like he and the friend live in the same house.


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: psi]
    #22168253 - 08/31/15 09:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Still do? I understood it to be "used to".

That does complicate things. If you cant get away from it/them its a real imposition on your comfort. But in that case the solution is to find private living space and accommodation, not try to constrain the relationships, love or sex lives of other adults.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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Invisiblepsi
TOAST N' JAM
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Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613 Flag
Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: Moonshoe]
    #22168271 - 08/31/15 09:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah, he says so in the first post.

Quote:

one of my best friends of over five years who i live with






Quote:

Moonshoe said:
the solution is to find private living space and accommodation, not try to constrain the relationships, love or sex lives of other adults.



:thumbup:


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: silly question. just curious on what you'd do. [Re: initiatethehello] * 2
    #22168277 - 08/31/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

initiatethehello said:

so what should i do with the asshole that lives down the hall from me? 






how about growing the fuck up and leaving this middle school bullshit behind you


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