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Thanatos10
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Disconnected from Human Life 2
#22167192 - 08/30/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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dpomalia
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22167226 - 08/30/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm guessing you're around the age of 18-22 and what your experiencing is the drop of dopamine that accpurs after puberty All is well though you will shake it off and find other things to be proud of and motivate you but yes life is rather monotonous, repetitive, drab, at times and it may see like at all times and its definatly the majority of times but every once in awhile your life is good so just be happy your not in some parts of Africa or the ghetto and embrace life to the fullest cause that's your only option now buddy you have just joined the club called life
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WhoManBeing
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: dpomalia]
#22167285 - 08/30/15 11:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well said.
-------------------- Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!! Eye was thinking the other day... ahh, thinking never done me no good.
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Vsnares.Zappa
bend over


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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22167303 - 08/31/15 12:09 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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it's a necessary realization OP. but alas, quite depressing also. this is the moment you realize, you ought to find something that makes you genuinely happy by yourself .it could be art, physical exercises,traveling,etc...
everything seems so pointless at times, until you get diagnosed with an uncurable disease 
it is the irony of the human condition : it is a miracle, yet pointless.
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usulpsychonaut


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My experience of disconnect includes all my communications make very little sense to most people. Though I know what I am saying. Contradicting myself and mixing everything up makes perfect sense to me.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: dpomalia]
#22167849 - 08/31/15 06:22 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
dpomalia said: I'm guessing you're around the age of 18-22 and what your experiencing is the drop of dopamine that accpurs after puberty All is well though you will shake it off and find other things to be proud of and motivate you but yes life is rather monotonous, repetitive, drab, at times and it may see like at all times and its definatly the majority of times but every once in awhile your life is good so just be happy your not in some parts of Africa or the ghetto and embrace life to the fullest cause that's your only option now buddy you have just joined the club called life
This is not something I'll just get over, this is after thinking over what I have observed. Pride, joy, love? They feel like wasted emotions. What is embracing life to the fullest? How can I when everything around me feels so small and limited? I would have liked to be born in those places, I wouldn't have time to think about things like this. Life would go back to being simple. But when I look at humans from a cosmic perspective, everything seems dull. Spirituality just seems like nonsense for people to feel better about their place in a sea of darkness. I don't see the point in caring or loving these creatures, let alone falling in love. Sex is no longer a thing for me. Like I said, I feel disconnected from humans. Everything they do bores me, their entertainment is smal and their concerns petty. It's like I don't belong on this planet.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22168246 - 08/31/15 09:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why don't you stop watching people and start doing things that interest you? I think you're not going crazy, you just have too much time and comfort on your hands.
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Mental Taco



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cez]
#22168290 - 08/31/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It is easy to come disconnected from the monotonous thing we have turned human life into. All the seemingly meaningless interpersonal actions that seem so vainly dictated by ill concieved emotions. I can totally see where your coming from.
It is times like this when i try to get back in touch with my natural instincts and not let the get crushed by societys machine. Get out take some risks, experience the unfamiliar learn to adapt and reason. Im just rambling but seriously get outside as many opportunities you have take them. What kinda of life is it to sit around and stare at an idiot box all day. You must have somethings you enjoy doing OP?
-------------------- Did you not know that the royal hunting grounds are always forbidden?
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i like cow poo
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22168403 - 08/31/15 10:25 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Smoke weed and do drugs. That should fuck your shit up nicely.
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cosmicg
ForeverLost



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Life certainly does feel utterly pointless when you really take it for what it is. You have one life, as far as we know, and in that one life you are expected to work and sleep for more then half of it.
You hear people say all of the time that life is what you make of it, that it is up to you to choose your own destiny. Others believe in something called fate. That everyone born is already predestined, but I am not one that believes in this logic, because that would imply we have no control over our lives. That what is going to happen is going to happen regardless of what you or anyone else in your life may or may not do.
I have been down the road you seem to be headed down, and can tell you that it only leads to depression. That is pretty much where I am at with it right now at least. Going through the motions, auto-pilot as you put it. Lack of feeling.
It is up to you and only you to accept life for what it is and make the best of the things, knowing that the possibilities are infinite.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22168513 - 08/31/15 10:50 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: This is not something I'll just get over
I see you have an ability to look into the future! Congratulations sir, use it wisely.
In all seriousness though man, I was exactly where you are a few years ago. It's a state, and all states are fleeting. IMO, you just gotta ride out the shit storm and you'll come out the other side a better person for it. That doesn't mean that your observations on humanity as a whole will change (mine certainly haven't, as I can see they haven't for most of the other posters on this thread), just that they'll likely bother you a lot less in time.
As has been said already, the more you focus on your inner self, the less the outer bullshit going on around you will bother you.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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My inner self? What do you mean by that?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22169845 - 08/31/15 04:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: My inner self? What do you mean by that?
Urrr.. I wish I could put it into words. I've gone a bit blank trying to conceptualise it.
How about this; you know the many masks we must wear to get through this life? And you know that, for the most part, they ain't real right? Well, your inner self would be the inner core, the part of you that is inherently unchangeable. The part of you that is only really accessible to you when you are fully in the present moment. It is still, unlike the mind, which is a constant flurry of (for the most part IMO) useless thoughts. I feel like I'm waffling here, so I'm gonna fall back to some quotes that might help:
It is our normal waking consciousness, rational consciousness as we call it, is but one special type of consciousness, whilst all about it, parted from it by the filmiest of screens, there lie potential forms of consciousness entirely different. We may go through life without suspecting their existence; but apply the requisite stimulus, and at a touch they are there in all their completeness, definite types of mentality which probably somewhere have their field of application and adaptation. No account of the universe in its totality can be final which leaves these other forms of consciousness quite discarded. How to regard them is the question, for they are so discontinuous with ordinary consciousness. --William James
Truthfully you can't improve yourself, because your true self is everything, it is all there is. Your true self is prior to thought, it cannot be improved upon or changed it can only be. You can improve your body, and change your habits, you just have to want it, but you are neither your body or your habits, that's like being a tree and saying that "I am the leaves, but not the branches, the roots, the bark, or the trunk." --Tmethyl
And whilst not quite in the same vein, I feel this might be good for you to read:
Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busy-body, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me, not only of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in the same intelligence and the same portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him, For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another then is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away. --Marcus Aurelius
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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That sounds awfully vague.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22170285 - 08/31/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: That sounds awfully vague.
And you can sound really ungrateful.
If you want to discuss it further, just say so. I am happy to share all that I know.
Life is pretty vague for the most part though ain't it?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
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Dullness, morbid fascination, naseau and aversion (clap hands) and dullness and morbid fascination and squeamishness and aversion...
Maybe six feet under is Marcus Aurelius's mandibular symphysis.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt]
#22170738 - 08/31/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I'm with these two^^. I'm a bit bemused that you've come on here, composing what is perhaps a desperate plea for sympathy and instruction, and then fine persons give you excellent information, and you won't accept any of it. You've been dismissive of everyone in both of these recent threads. Do you want to try to make an effort, or just get attention?
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Thanatos10
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But it was vague though. I'm more confused about what they mean by inner self than ever now.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22170995 - 08/31/15 08:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It strikes me that you say you are only willing to accept things with proof, but then you reject everything. And you don't seem in the least bit interested in turning inwards to seek answers (which is the only place your gonna find the real ones). That, mate, is just gonna have you running round in circles. You seem to be doing a pretty good job of it from what I've seen in your time here.
How about sitting down one night, relaxing, focusing on your breathing, and take a trip inside for some of the answers you seek. Shit, whatever, take some acid or some shrooms or DMT if it makes life easier.
But please, stop endlessly asking questions of all of us here only to then respond with absolutely and entirely non-committal answers. Put in a bit of bloody work will ya!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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Because i have not gotten proof. I have tried all the things people are suggesting, I've done that before. Otherwise I would not be in this mess. This is about having the thought creep up every time I try to change, and then ending up worse than when I began. HOw can I be sure that the answer lies within?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22171233 - 08/31/15 08:55 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I can't find anything within or without. I've got a void to exist in until death. Drugs are yet another monotony. Spiritual practice is fruitless. All there is is stuff to pass the time. Waiting for the end.
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Thanatos10
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I've tried meditation, to find the answers inside. BUt I just get nothing. I'm not even sure how they are supposed to come to you.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22171520 - 08/31/15 09:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Are you sure you found nothing, these depths of emptiness, or was it something? Let's be clear, nothing is what you are telling us about here, ey?
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt]
#22171786 - 08/31/15 10:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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They say the answer lies within, but I'm not even sure how the answer is supposed to come or how you recognize it when it does.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10] 2
#22172230 - 09/01/15 01:08 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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sounds like you've lost the "magic" we are all creators of our own destiny. learn how to use your imagination again.
there are infinite inner realms to be explored. life is supposed to be a creative journey, not something merely to be endured.
expand your focus beyond just "you" the world is actually your greatest ally. what you send out into it gets returned back to you.
if anything, do something that inspires you. surround yourself with beauty.
i've been through the same thing you're feeling right now. life might be teaching you an important lesson. listen to what it's saying. learn from it.
this experience is worth it.
--------------------
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22172435 - 09/01/15 03:26 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: They say the answer lies within, but I'm not even sure how the answer is supposed to come or how you recognize it when it does.
Are you clear on what you mean by a question or what you are focused on? What is this ascribed narration of sentences and arguments in other words? That you keep turning on? What's it worth?
Existence is vague, and dull, and that is maybe your own case of it, and maybe the world at the same time. But aside from contentions about this, why do you suppose you even have a good question on this basis?
Some schools of Buddhism say meaning comes in a phenomenal flash and others say it comes through the work. But then, both do not exclude the work, so it is moot.
Yoga means "to yoke", and if they say you will find anything it is in the form of doing that. You do the yoking or union. Meaning in meditation can seem less a cognitive idea, although it is a presenting of the way things are or how they present in phenomena, so there are truths to it. It is not an argument though, exactly.
What would proof be,? How well do you observe? Just as an anatomical concept of your physical body has almost nothing to do with physical existence, the idea of what is the case is not the point. An anatomy and ambling physiology of meaning, a meaning found in physical being is novel in its presence. Mind in yoga, is a subtle physical apparatus, it has properties of a fluctuating physical medium, it receives and molds to impressions; according to the central metaphor of the Sutras.
What is physical existence? It is finally recognizing also that some things are not just present, they are a matter of conditional maintainences and multivarious arisings. Therefore the existentialist critiques the metaphysics of presence, the compulsive turning, and tries to understand a world also with underappreciated absences. Everybody has a circular routine of everyday existence, that begins with night and day. Everybody is conditioned.
The stoics last but not least, sought to be like nature. What does this idea of nature mean? It is nothing less than physis, and yet the stoics believed there was something to meditating on this. To be like nature, to find it, become it, and so on, were all discrete possibilities due in part to a proximity to lucid experiences in the Greek world. "Physis" literally meant nature of being it was not some theoretical claim to make, but the way phenomena arose, including human existence. This is possible because Physis to the Greeks, meant "becoming" or "growth".
This is a good discussion of the stoic concept of nature or physis, that one could become.
https://m.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/2726fg/what_does_it_mean_to_act_according_to_nature_what/
What you can find in many life philosophies, is that meaning is not just presented to you, because presence takes work, and can itself be appreciated. Arguably it should be. I recommend the stoics the most because they are the most accessible meditations on life itself.
To add to the Marcus Aurelius quotes...
"Nothing is more wretched than a man who traverses everything in a round, and pries into the things beneath the earth, as the poet says, and seeks by conjecture what is in the minds of his neighbours, without perceiving that it is sufficient to attend to the daemon within him, and to reverence it sincerely"
"Do the things external which fall upon thee distract thee? Give thyself time to learn something new and good, and cease to be whirled around. But then thou must also avoid being carried about the other way. For those too are triflers who have wearied themselves in life by their activity, and yet have no object to which to direct every movement, and, in a word, all their thoughts."
"This thou must always bear in mind, what is the nature of the whole, and what is my nature, and how this is related to that, and what kind of a part it is of what kind of a whole; and that there is no one who hinders thee from always doing and saying the things which are according to the nature of which thou art a part."
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22172592 - 09/01/15 05:55 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: How can I be sure that the answer lies within?
Cat Stevens Tea For The Tillerman On The Road To Find Out.
"In the end I know. On the way I wonder."
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
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Quote:
resonant111 said: sounds like you've lost the "magic" we are all creators of our own destiny. learn how to use your imagination again.
there are infinite inner realms to be explored. life is supposed to be a creative journey, not something merely to be endured.
expand your focus beyond just "you" the world is actually your greatest ally. what you send out into it gets returned back to you.
if anything, do something that inspires you. surround yourself with beauty.
i've been through the same thing you're feeling right now. life might be teaching you an important lesson. listen to what it's saying. learn from it.
this experience is worth it.
Life is pain and suffering and magic is just mankinds best creation to cope with it all. It is not supposed to be anything, it just is.
The world has dealt me nothing but pain. It has just sent me pain after pain in the form of psychological affliction. Every time a problem resolved itself there was another one that was ten times worse and just damaged me even further. Life isn't magic its pain. This latest one has just damaged me probably beyond repair. So no, you haven't been through what I have been through. You're still stuck in the illusion that life is magical.
All life has taught me is that the magic I believed In is false. It has a cruel sense of humor, sending people into further and further suffering. Almost like it delights in watching me squirm.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22173989 - 09/01/15 01:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You sound quite attached to your way of thought and that's part of your problem imo. Life isn't gloomy and pain isn't bad. Talking about your psychological affliction is a suave way of playing the victim. Sooner or later you'll die and this will all be over. Quit being a pessimist and get some sun.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22174259 - 09/01/15 02:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: You sound quite attached to your way of thought and that's part of your problem imo. Life isn't gloomy and pain isn't bad. Talking about your psychological affliction is a suave way of playing the victim. Sooner or later you'll die and this will all be over. Quit being a pessimist and get some sun. 
If I am it's because of the way my life has gone. There I no reason for me to believe life gets better of that something far worse isn't lurking beyond. My life has been a downward spiral since the first affliction.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22174268 - 09/01/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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well at least you're aware that pain is part of life. it doesn't mean that has to be the ONLY part of life 
have you ever tried channeling your inner pain into say, art or literature or music? i find that to be a therapeutic and honest way of dealing with it.
alot of times pain simply wants to be acknowledged. and once we let it have it's say, it withers away.
--------------------
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Quote:
resonant111 said: well at least you're aware that pain is part of life. it doesn't mean that has to be the ONLY part of life 
have you ever tried channeling your inner pain into say, art or literature or music? i find that to be a therapeutic and honest way of dealing with it.
alot of times pain simply wants to be acknowledged. and once we let it have it's say, it withers away.
That's false. The pain remains, throbbing inside and feeding off itself. Pain is all life is, everything else is just temporary anesthesia. As for art or music I find it just feeds it more and more. But pain doesn't go away, it just sleeps.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22174406 - 09/01/15 03:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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you should read "the short history of decay" by emil cioran. it's morbidly nihilistic and got me through a pretty rough patch in my life. i didn't feel so alone in my pain after reading it.
it used to be free on the internet but it looks like someone took it down....do a little searching, it's well worth the read.
--------------------
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22174492 - 09/01/15 03:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Goddamn Thanatos, stop acting like this is an intellectual position you are holding. You are whining and projecting, not arguing about what is true or false about the world.
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Thanatos10
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Quote:
resonant111 said: you should read "the short history of decay" by emil cioran. it's morbidly nihilistic and got me through a pretty rough patch in my life. i didn't feel so alone in my pain after reading it.
it used to be free on the internet but it looks like someone took it down....do a little searching, it's well worth the read.
From what I have read it's the sort of thing that would drive you to suicide or destroy everything you believe in. Not exactly something to turn to for comfort.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22175006 - 09/01/15 06:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: All life has taught me is that the magic I believed In is false.
Can you prove to us that the dullness and boredom you experience isn't false as well?
How is the 'magic' any more false than its reverse? And by magic I'm assuming we're talking about something like the opposite of suffering... joy, bliss, euphoria, etc.
Is it that life is actually this way, or that you've been dealt a shitty hand in life and have become biased because of this? "To the pure, all things are pure; to the base, all things are base."
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Hobozen]
#22175327 - 09/01/15 07:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I used to be different than this. But after the first occurrence happened people said this would get better, that I would get over it. Then it happened again, and again......and again. It happened so much that I began to realize that the promise of it gets better was just a sweet lie to give me hope.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22175358 - 09/01/15 07:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
cez said: You sound quite attached to your way of thought and that's part of your problem imo. Life isn't gloomy and pain isn't bad. Talking about your psychological affliction is a suave way of playing the victim. Sooner or later you'll die and this will all be over. Quit being a pessimist and get some sun. 
If I am it's because of the way my life has gone. There I no reason for me to believe life gets better of that something far worse isn't lurking beyond. My life has been a downward spiral since the first affliction.
It's not your life. You don't own life. To think it can't get better is to deny the fundamental reality that all things are transient. If you want to lock yourself up in your shitty past so be it, but if you want a better experience, make it so. A lot can change in a short time if you let it but if you dwell on what you had, you shouldn't be surprised when you get more of the same.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22175395 - 09/01/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes a lot can change. Things went from bad to so much worse. Pain was indeed transient but only to make room for something far worse. I have tried in the past to let things change and just when I think things are finally turning around for me, life throws something my way to smack me even further into the ground.
So yes things change, but not always for the better. I would kill to go back to be previous pains.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22175457 - 09/01/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: It's not your life. You don't own life. To think it can't get better is to deny the fundamental reality that all things are transient.
Yeah, I already tried that one. Thanatos10, I think you must be the most resistant to logic human I have ever met. Congratulations man; I'm pretty blown away.
Would you just please, please, please do me one favour? Either seek therapeutic help or head on over to the 'Getting started' section of this forum and start learning about how to grow living things. You need a hobby, and something that's gonna make you see the light for the trees man. It's like you have an impenetrable castle wall of thoughts ready to fend off any possible intruder to your own belief system.
You, my friend, need a fucking paradigm shift.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
cez said: It's not your life. You don't own life. To think it can't get better is to deny the fundamental reality that all things are transient.
Yeah, I already tried that one. Thanatos10, I think you must be the most resistant to logic human I have ever met. Congratulations man; I'm pretty blown away.
Would you just please, please, please do me one favour? Either seek therapeutic help or head on over to the 'Getting started' section of this forum and start learning about how to grow living things. You need a hobby, and something that's gonna make you see the light for the trees man. It's like you have an impenetrable castle wall of thoughts ready to fend off any possible intruder to your own belief system.
You, my friend, need a fucking paradigm shift.

All this time feeling sorry for yourself can be spent on something that you can grow. A hobby will do you wonders
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Thanatos is in a creative rut 
Can't blame the guy, though.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Hobozen]
#22175549 - 09/01/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: Can't blame the guy, though.
I agree, I think most of us have been there at some point. I certainly have. And whilst I see no blame in it (great ills befall us all), I see it as individual responsibility to learn to manage it. And that means lowering your defenses a little, for a start.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
cez said: It's not your life. You don't own life. To think it can't get better is to deny the fundamental reality that all things are transient.
Yeah, I already tried that one. Thanatos10, I think you must be the most resistant to logic human I have ever met. Congratulations man; I'm pretty blown away.
Would you just please, please, please do me one favour? Either seek therapeutic help or head on over to the 'Getting started' section of this forum and start learning about how to grow living things. You need a hobby, and something that's gonna make you see the light for the trees man. It's like you have an impenetrable castle wall of thoughts ready to fend off any possible intruder to your own belief system.
You, my friend, need a fucking paradigm shift.
If every time something good happens in my life something worse comes along that puts me down even further it's logical to believe that life is just things going from bad to worse. There isn't anything illogical about it. It's based entirely on experience. My entire life has been that way since middle school. A hobby isn't going to make that go away. I was into trading cards the whole time through and that didn't help much at all.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Hobozen]
#22175769 - 09/01/15 08:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: Thanatos is in a creative rut 
Can't blame the guy, though.
How on earth did you possibly come to that conclusion and what does it have to do with anything? And what do you mean lowering my defenses?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176192 - 09/01/15 10:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It would take creativity to at least attempt to come to an understanding with us. You're fighting wind.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176207 - 09/01/15 10:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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it sounds like you're going through a "dark night of the soul." that phase of complete and utter despair, hopelessness and separation. many of us have been there. people who are majorly depressed are actually really really close to genuine awareness--at least they KNOW the world is full of pain and disappointment. that's the first step to developing true compassion for others -- knowing the reality of pain.
i read in some other thread that you are majoring in psychology -- perhaps this is a learning experience for you? perhaps you are subconsciously putting yourself through this pain SO THAT you can better understand the pain of others?
going through this experience could make you an outstanding psychologist or counselor in the end. maybe this traumatic phase is part of your life's plan?
--------------------
Edited by resonant111 (09/01/15 10:28 PM)
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




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Good or bad things will change
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Hobozen]
#22176254 - 09/01/15 10:29 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Life's plan? There is no such thing.
I have changed my major from psychology because I simply cannot deal with the concepts that it talks about. As for dark night, there is no light at the end. There is no salvation for the damned, rest in peace in eternal darkness. How do you even get out of such a thing? That author you talked about was nothing but a pit of despair from what I've read, so what about that dark night?
Quote:
blankk said: It would take creativity to at least attempt to come to an understanding with us. You're fighting wind.
There is no wind. It is the doldrums. The reason I discount it is because I have been through this before several times and done what people have suggested but it has never helped at all. All I could do was white knuckle the worst parts and hope for sleep, only to dread the waking world the next day.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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resonant111
left ∞ right

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176316 - 09/01/15 10:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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as for feeling life is "pointless" -- you have to create your OWN sense of significance. yea we all make it up. so what? life is a blank canvas and you paint what you want on it -- you don't just leave it blank and lament that it's "just a canvas." LIFE IS OBJECTIVELY POINTLESS SO THAT YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN SIGNIFICANCE. that's the beauty of it dude.
cioran called it "magnificent futility." paradoxically pointless yet at the same time unfathomably awe-inspiring, beautiful and limitless. that's life.
--------------------
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Hobozen


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176419 - 09/01/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You said in your OP that you're being cold and objective, but then you go on to say, "Spirituality just seems like nonsense for people to feel better about their place in a sea of darkness."
What sea of darkness? Show us this sea of darkness. Because not everyone sees it. This is you projecting your negative emotions onto existence. That's all I'm saying man. I'm not trying to help you or suggest things to you, I'm just saying that you're full of shit, in that you can't separate your emotions from the bigger picture.
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DisoRDeR
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176460 - 09/01/15 11:16 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
As for dark night, there is no light at the end. There is no salvation for the damned, rest in peace in eternal darkness.
You should start a metal band.
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: DisoRDeR]
#22176467 - 09/01/15 11:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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And call it Mandibular Symphysis.
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DisoRDeR
motional



Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 1,158
Loc: nonsensistan
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Kurt]
#22176575 - 09/01/15 11:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
The mandibular symphysis divides below and encloses a triangular eminence, the mental protuberance, the base of which is depressed in the center but raised on either side to form the mental tubercle.
Let me chew on that for a while...
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Hobozen]
#22176600 - 09/02/15 12:06 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: You said in your OP that you're being cold and objective, but then you go on to say, "Spirituality just seems like nonsense for people to feel better about their place in a sea of darkness."
What sea of darkness? Show us this sea of darkness. Because not everyone sees it. This is you projecting your negative emotions onto existence. That's all I'm saying man. I'm not trying to help you or suggest things to you, I'm just saying that you're full of shit, in that you can't separate your emotions from the bigger picture.
The bigger picture is that we are meaningless compared to the sea of darkness that surrounds us, in this case the universe. Look around beyond the planet and you will see it. The earth could explode we would be no different than the dust floating around the asteroid belt. We are insignificant in the larger scheme of things, the "big picture" as you put it.
As for creating your own meaning, what's the point? Where is the beauty in deluding yourself?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176626 - 09/02/15 12:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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ahh, by darkness i thought you meant suffering.
Quote:
As for creating your own meaning, what's the point? Where is the beauty in deluding yourself?
are you not creating your own meaning right now, based on the negativity that you experience? how is that any more real than the person who creates his meaning based on positive experiences?
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muckamuck
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22176809 - 09/02/15 02:04 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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"Nature is playful and terrible. Some see the playful side and dally with it and let it sparkle. Others see the horror and cover their heads and are more dead than alive. The way does not lead between both, but embraces both. It is both cheerful play and cold horror."
-C.G. Jung
Just thought I would leave this here for you Thanatos
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Hobozen]
#22177451 - 09/02/15 09:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: ahh, by darkness i thought you meant suffering.
Quote:
As for creating your own meaning, what's the point? Where is the beauty in deluding yourself?
are you not creating your own meaning right now, based on the negativity that you experience? how is that any more real than the person who creates his meaning based on positive experiences?
I'm not creating any meaning, I'm trying to deal with this void inside.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22177695 - 09/02/15 10:57 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes you are creating meaning. The meaning of your life as I see it according to your posts is pain and sadness and hopelessness because nothing can ever go right for you and you are just a poor, innocent victim of your circumstances. 
Keep believing all that's out there is what you previously experienced and keep getting more of the same. Or, detach from the life-story you've created and live.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22177716 - 09/02/15 11:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You mentioned that you have never tried psychedelics. I would suggest you do -- take some shrooms or something. Have an experience that might send you in a new and fruitful direction. I find it mildly ironic that you haven't even tried shrooms before -- and you're here, bugging us. Try it out. It will assuredly give you something to think about.
In the end, you're just young and ridiculously inexperienced. Take yourself with a grain of salt, please.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: I find it mildly ironic that you haven't even tried shrooms before -- and you're here, bugging us.
Yes.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: and you're here, bugging us.
In the end, you're just young and ridiculously inexperienced. Take yourself with a grain of salt, please.
I agree with the gist of what you said in this post but I wouldn't use the word "bugging." I think Thanatos needs an outlet of expression and this forum is a good community/feedback outlet for the kinda stuff op is confused about.
Thanatos should trip and quit making life so heavy but at the end of the day it's part of his journey and we shouldn't act is if he's a nuisance, though his argument is ridiculous
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22178026 - 09/02/15 12:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Did you see what Markos said in the 'Soul' thread in S&M?
Quote:
MarkostheGnostic said: But if you don't have a sense of being in the ordinary sense, then the recommendations here to take a psychedelic trip is premature. You are not ready to have your identity disassembled because you have not yet assumed a stable sense of identity. One needs a strong and resilient ego in order to transcend that ego. An experience of ego-death to an unstable ego can result in a major psychiatric crisis. In such a case, the immolated Phoenix will not rise from its own ashes. If you can't listen, you can't learn. Become Daedalus, not Icarus.
It resonates man. As much as Thanatos needs a total paradigm shift, I was dubious myself about recommending he trip. Kinda a last ditch attempt type response. Cause I do have to agree with DQ, he is getting just a touch annoying. His communication all seems so damn one-way.
I'm with ya though cez, I like to think we're a good community for someone in the midst of an existential crisis. However (as has been proven in Thanatos time here) it just doesn't work unless the OP is willing to reflect upon, consider, and possibly take onboard some of the information the community provides.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
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Quote:
DividedQuantum said: You mentioned that you have never tried psychedelics. I would suggest you do -- take some shrooms or something. Have an experience that might send you in a new and fruitful direction. I find it mildly ironic that you haven't even tried shrooms before -- and you're here, bugging us. Try it out. It will assuredly give you something to think about.
In the end, you're just young and ridiculously inexperienced. Take yourself with a grain of salt, please.
I doubt a hallucination will have any effect on me. It's just a brief alteration of the senses, which people appear to give meaning to. I have been through more than most to know that life doesn't get better, all you can hope for is to endure the next maelstrom it sends at you.
Every time I feel things turning around for me, something comes along to shatter my hope. I have learned to stop hoping for better days because they are followed by worse. The latest crippling stint, nihilism and cancer.
So no, believing things will get better doesn't make it so. Life doesn't work that way. You don't attract things to you they just happen. It's just been pain after pain. Every time I try to think positive life slaps me upside the head with something worse.
I didn't create this, this is just how things are.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Thanatos doesn't need to get the message instantly athough we tend to assume he/she should but that clearly doesn't seem like his/her agenda anyways. Op to me is merely looking for something to hear their struggle.
I think sometimes we post not looking for answers, but more so acknowledgement that we exist
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Posts: 26,088
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22178099 - 09/02/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: I think sometimes we post not looking for answers, but more so acknowledgement that we exist
Yeah, I hear that. I guess I need to shift a little out of my own perspective to see that, thanks for saying so man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178105 - 09/02/15 12:55 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
DividedQuantum said: You mentioned that you have never tried psychedelics. I would suggest you do -- take some shrooms or something. Have an experience that might send you in a new and fruitful direction. I find it mildly ironic that you haven't even tried shrooms before -- and you're here, bugging us. Try it out. It will assuredly give you something to think about.
In the end, you're just young and ridiculously inexperienced. Take yourself with a grain of salt, please.
I doubt a hallucination will have any effect on me. It's just a brief alteration of the senses, which people appear to give meaning to. I have been through more than most to know that life doesn't get better, all you can hope for is to endure the next maelstrom it sends at you.
Every time I feel things turning around for me, something comes along to shatter my hope. I have learned to stop hoping for better days because they are followed by worse. The latest crippling stint, nihilism and cancer.
So no, believing things will get better doesn't make it so. Life doesn't work that way. You don't attract things to you they just happen. It's just been pain after pain. Every time I try to think positive life slaps me upside the head with something worse.
I didn't create this, this is just how things are.
You sound so close-minded it's trollish. Belief doesn't make things better, action does. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and fucking get on with your life. Get a hobby and enjoy your time. Or don't and keep being a victim of your past.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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I don't think you guys are getting the message here.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178111 - 09/02/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't think you have a message that I am willing to accept. You're acting like a baby and misery loves company...Do you want us to agree that life sucks and there's no point for existence?
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22178134 - 09/02/15 01:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Because there isn't. Why would I be put through so much mental pain having to questions myself so much that there isn't anything left after that. I fail to see how that makes me childish. People have told me one thing but life tells me another.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cosmicg
ForeverLost



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Loc: HERE
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22178154 - 09/02/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanatos.
Everything that you see, the feelings that you feel, the thoughts that you may or may not have...
They are nothing but thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt as they only mean something if you choose for them to mean something. You create your own world based on the way you perceive what is around you. What one person sees as being bad, you may see as being good. Everything in life is subjective.
You have actually received a lot of great answers in this thread. You will know you have the answers, or you may never even find them.
I think the most important thing to remember above all else is only you can control your outlook on life. You create what is in front of you.
The inner-self is who we truly are. As has been said, people naturally put up fronts to protect themselves from being hurt or vulnerable to feelings of discomfort.
Trust me when I say that I know what you are going through. Maybe not exactly, because as I said we all experience the world in our own unique ways.
Don't dwell on it. Stop thinking so much. Just be.
Edited by cosmicg (09/02/15 01:09 PM)
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deff
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178200 - 09/02/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanatos, a book that I think might be beneficial for you to read is "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178208 - 09/02/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Because there isn't. Why would I be put through so much mental pain having to questions myself so much that there isn't anything left after that. I fail to see how that makes me childish. People have told me one thing but life tells me another.
I agree it seems like there is no point, but I keep waking up to another day so I feel justified in that being enough of a point for my existence-I keep happening for an unknowable reason. Why can't that be enough of a point for you? Why do you need a point for your existence?
I think you should read some philosophy, preferably someone like Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts or Ram Dass for they are wizards with their rhetoric
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resonant111
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178546 - 09/02/15 03:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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absorb yourself in something you truly enjoy and derive satisfaction from. you'll forget about your problems and perhaps create something "meaningful" in the process.
i'm working on a fictional book right now and it's very therapeutic. direct yourself towards something you enjoy and you won't have so much time to lament everything. or you can channel that misery into whatever it is you plan on working on, especially if it's art.
i think you just need to find something that makes you excited to wake up each morning. figure it out, and go for it. this is prolly my last bit of advice
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Hobozen


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178555 - 09/02/15 03:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I don't think you guys are getting the message here.
Orgone, is that you?
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Thanatos10
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Quote:
resonant111 said: absorb yourself in something you truly enjoy and derive satisfaction from. you'll forget about your problems and perhaps create something "meaningful" in the process.
i'm working on a fictional book right now and it's very therapeutic. direct yourself towards something you enjoy and you won't have so much time to lament everything. or you can channel that misery into whatever it is you plan on working on, especially if it's art.
i think you just need to find something that makes you excited to wake up each morning. figure it out, and go for it. this is prolly my last bit of advice 
That's kind of hard since I crave sleep and hate waking up each day.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22178741 - 09/02/15 03:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: That's kind of hard since I crave sleep and hate waking up each day.
.....
Quote:
cez said: I agree it seems like there is no point, but I keep waking up to another day so I feel justified in that being enough of a point for my existence-I keep happening for an unknowable reason.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: That's kind of hard since I crave sleep and hate waking up each day.
.....
Quote:
cez said: I agree it seems like there is no point, but I keep waking up to another day so I feel justified in that being enough of a point for my existence-I keep happening for an unknowable reason.
That could just as easily be survival instinct. That's not a reason to keep going one though.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22179566 - 09/02/15 06:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Waking from sleep is a survival instinct?
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22179680 - 09/02/15 07:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Pretty much. It's not a reason to keep existing nor a purpose to. I envy people who die in their sleep
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cosmicg
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22179686 - 09/02/15 07:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah man, you didn't know that?
You have to wake up in order to survive. How are you going to do all of the things you need to do in order to live if you are not awake to do them?
I got you Thanatos
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22180162 - 09/02/15 08:42 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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The logic and excuses for your shitty outlook on life are pathetic. I hope you quit taking yourself so seriously because if you stick with your current mindset you will forever be miserable.
Some people would love to be in your situation but you are too pompous to have any gratitude for what you have and you have more than pain and all the sob story bullshit you've been spouting throughout this thread.
Edited by cez (09/02/15 08:47 PM)
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Lucent
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22180663 - 09/02/15 09:51 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanatos.
Life is pointless. You live, you think, you strive for anything, and then it's taken away and you die.
Everyone around you thinks the same thing as you, just in a different way. You are not creative, you are not special. You are you. There are no heroes, only stories about heroes. Everyone and everything is flawed. You are no exception. Nobody is a stereotype, they are multiple stereotypes. You are not the label you put on yourself or others put on you. You are a collection of labels. The human mind makes you think there is no in between. There is either right or wrong, but I will tell you. There is so much more in between. In fact the inbetween is where its all at. Nothing is at the end of the spectrum, except thoughts and ideas. You will never be fully liberal, or fully conservative.. because they are just ideas and labels that we put on things. Perfection that is out of reach.
Everyone around you is just as afraid of the terrible, horrible, pointless world as you are. But they make the best of it. It is not a novel idea to feel apathetic about this shitty place we live. But that is the magic.. everyone is here together.. living this shitty existence.. and you aren't helping a single person (including yourself) have any relief. If every person tried to ease the pain (of this craphole we all live in) of one other person.. then everyone would be in a little bit better of a place.
Besides, where else would you rather be?
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Lucent] 1
#22180687 - 09/02/15 09:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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A lot of nihlists up in here but if your an existentialist like me yes life is pointless until you create meaning in it. After all it is your life, you're free to do with it as you please. I'd rather live out of curiosity, pleasure, testing myself and the genuine mystery of the big picture then not live at all
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
Edited by Cognitive_Shift (09/02/15 10:13 PM)
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usulpsychonaut


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22181079 - 09/02/15 11:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
cez said: You sound quite attached to your way of thought and that's part of your problem imo. Life isn't gloomy and pain isn't bad. Talking about your psychological affliction is a suave way of playing the victim. Sooner or later you'll die and this will all be over. Quit being a pessimist and get some sun. 
If I am it's because of the way my life has gone. There I no reason for me to believe life gets better of that something far worse isn't lurking beyond. My life has been a downward spiral since the first affliction.
Congratulations Thanatos10 you are enlightened. You have found the truth.
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Thanatos10
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Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: A lot of nihlists up in here but if your an existentialist like me yes life is pointless until you create meaning in it. After all it is your life, you're free to do with it as you please. I'd rather live out of curiosity, pleasure, testing myself and the genuine mystery of the big picture then not live at all
How do you create meaning?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cosmicg
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22182352 - 09/03/15 10:15 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You said the only thing that helps you are bugs. That is a good hobby to have. Go to school for Entomology like I said in your other thread. Maybe you were meant to discover some kind of crazy species of bug that holds the cure to all illnesses.
What is meaning to you? What is important? What do you actually care about?
Those are some questions I would ask myself.
And then maybe when you die, your discoveries will live on and aid people in their own daily life struggles.
I don't know, I believe in reincarnation personally.
Edited by cosmicg (09/03/15 10:17 AM)
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22182519 - 09/03/15 11:01 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: A lot of nihlists up in here but if your an existentialist like me yes life is pointless until you create meaning in it. After all it is your life, you're free to do with it as you please. I'd rather live out of curiosity, pleasure, testing myself and the genuine mystery of the big picture then not live at all
How do you create meaning?
My family means something to me, I choose to give it meaning. I have created meaning. You can do the same thing with friends, ideas, hobbies and interests. This meaning isn't meta-meaning but I am not everyone, i'm just me. I can choose to give meaning to anything I want.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
Edited by Cognitive_Shift (09/03/15 11:06 AM)
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cosmicg]
#22185324 - 09/03/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cosmicg said: You said the only thing that helps you are bugs. That is a good hobby to have. Go to school for Entomology like I said in your other thread. Maybe you were meant to discover some kind of crazy species of bug that holds the cure to all illnesses.
What is meaning to you? What is important? What do you actually care about?
Those are some questions I would ask myself.
And then maybe when you die, your discoveries will live on and aid people in their own daily life struggles.
I don't know, I believe in reincarnation personally.
It's going to be hard to reclaim all of that since nihilism pretty much did a number on me in those areas.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22185871 - 09/03/15 11:26 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Another lame excuse as to why you can't do something.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22185979 - 09/04/15 12:06 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: Another lame excuse as to why you can't do something.
I said it would be hard, not that I couldn't do it.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22187112 - 09/04/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think you currently have no interest in doing anything that's going to make your life-situation better. You use Nihilism as an excuse to not follow your interests. 
What could be hard about doing what you like?
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circastes
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22187127 - 09/04/15 09:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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If you're not enjoying life it's your fault or it's your brain chemistry's fault. 'Nuff said. Life is amazing.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22189861 - 09/04/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: I think you currently have no interest in doing anything that's going to make your life-situation better. You use Nihilism as an excuse to not follow your interests. 
What could be hard about doing what you like?
It's not really an excuse, it's just something that makes my interests seems pointless to perform. I'm not hiding behind it, why would I? I want to get over it. That statement doesn't even make sense.
It's hard to do it because the joy I used to feel has been replaced by a sense that there is no point to what I'm doing and that it is meaningless. It makes it hard to really enjoy those things the way I did before.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: Thanatos10]
#22189906 - 09/04/15 07:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Move out of your parent's place and I bet you will find meaning in everything. You're meaningless perspective of everything is a product of comfort and a lack of gratitude I imagine.
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis [Re: cez]
#22189956 - 09/04/15 08:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cez said: Move out of your parent's place and I bet you will find meaning in everything. You're meaningless perspective of everything is a product of comfort and a lack of gratitude I imagine.
Actually it's because of my brush with nihilism. I was never like this prior to a month ago.
As for being grateful for things, that doesn't help out much (my therapist already suggested that to me, ironically it makes things worse).
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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LunarEclipse
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
Quote:
cez said: Move out of your parent's place and I bet you will find meaning in everything. You're meaningless perspective of everything is a product of comfort and a lack of gratitude I imagine.
Actually it's because of my brush with nihilism. I was never like this prior to a month ago.
As for being grateful for things, that doesn't help out much (my therapist already suggested that to me, ironically it makes things worse).
Try not paying your therapist, and see how grateful they become.
Personally, the only person I would ever consider paying for personal advice would be a hooker. Then, I know they are lying but at least I get fucked out of my money.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (09/05/15 06:36 AM)
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Hobozen


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Can't believe nonobody's brought up hookers until now.
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Hobozen]
#22191629 - 09/05/15 07:31 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Replying just to follow for now. Will comment later.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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nuentoter
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter] 2
#22191931 - 09/05/15 09:35 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think you should reread what you have on nihilism and take it for what it is. All encompassing. It applies to everything not just the things you mark as "good" in life. This is very one sided.
Why do you not allow nihilism to take away meaning from all the "bad" things you have experienced in life?
When you say things alluding to the idea that life has dealt you shit, you did your best and more shit came from it..... are you sure? According to your nihilistic approach it should be more of "I did some things to kill time and they didn't matter, the result was more thing that didn't matter"
well isn't that neutral?
Nihilism personally feels like a sort of freedom because I have no need or strive to make a huge impact on the world, I know I can't fuck it up anymore than I can better it. This gives me the feeling of freedom to do what I want within my own personal rules (don't hurt living things, deal with consequences of your actions) which I don't even adhere to strictly (I hunt).
I have been severely depressed at times in my life and have seriously attempted suicide before and that plan got fucked up by someone finding me while I lay on the floor bleeding out and appreciating the pain because it was a very REAL feeling when everything else felt very unreal.
I realized years later that I was simply taking all of this (my life, your life, this world, this existence) way too seriously. There probably is no point for us in a general sense. If there is I've never discovered it. I have found that I can give myself purpose though, by simply choosing to. Why? Well why not? Nothing better to do with my time here.
You say you require proof to believe in things, this is a tricky one. Read up on the philosophy of logic and you can then begin to ask yourself if you really require proof of things to believe them, or just a nice logical concrete push in the direction of an answer, if one even exists. Does there even have to be an answer?
You can end up in a very strange place in life if you adhere to this culture (I'm guessing your American or at least in an American-like culture) and it's beliefs but are a person wanting answers. Our culture and a large portion of society as we see it seems quite absurd to, to me at least. One of the reasons I choose to live on the edge of thousands of miles of forest land and much prefer to run to the hills rather than to town.
I truly feel empathy for your feelings of disconnection. Are those feelings necessary? Are they even logical? You say you've spent time observing people and their ways. Do you want to belong to all of that? I don't want to, and I do submit to it when I must, but I also keep to myself and think how I think and for the most part don't interact with 90% of the people I see on a daily basis on any kind of intellectual level because I simply don't care what they think or have to say. I appreciate their view and input but I don't give it much personal credit or influence in my life because I choose not to.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: Why My Tits Hurt [Re: Hobozen]
#22192175 - 09/05/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: Can't believe nonobody's brought up hookers until now.
Nobody does the shake Like I do Nobody does the boogalaboo Like I do Nobody but me
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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I wanna be like you oo oo Oo oo oo
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
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Re: Why My Tits Hurt [Re: Hobozen]
#22192282 - 09/05/15 11:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: I wanna be like you oo oo Oo oo oo
I'm your prime cut of meat, I'm your choice I wanna be elected I'm your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a Gold Rolls Royce I wanna be elected Kids want a savior, don't need a fake I wanna be elected - AC
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Thanatos10
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Because I often find the bad usually eclipses the good, and it's hard to make it not matter.
The feelings of disconnect have always been I suppose. I find it hard to fit in with people or to find any whom understand me or that I can converse with.
When I mean their ways it's like reality TV, fashions, trends, these weird things that fascinate them. Also the notion of intimidate relationships. That as well as love confounds me. I have never felt that way about people other than my mother or my dogs, but to pair with another human....why? Even love itself is confusing, the things people do for it and in its name, also under it. Loving yourself has also always gone over my head.
I want an intimate relationship but I just cannot fathom why.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22193967 - 09/05/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You probably want to get laid at some point, even if you don't think you do. I'd find a good clean hooker and wear a condom. There's your "intimacy", enjoy it.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
Edited by LunarEclipse (09/05/15 06:37 PM)
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Thanatos10
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I have tried that already, it was empty and dull.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22194427 - 09/05/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It is a purely physical exchange. Meat on meat that can be very physically pleasing. But nothing more. Care for another person changes that. Putting anothers wants in front of your own and enjoying the result in return not out of expectation but being an unobligated appreciation of reciprocation.
You can never expect anything from anyone. This is part of the beauty of one on one interaction with people. They talk to you, care about you, be your friend, argue with you but still stick around d, because they choose to. They could be do other possibly better things with their life. If you can find an at least somewhat like minded individual and just be honest and talk with them. In real life or online, and they listen without judging then they may be worth the time furthering a mutual social relationship. Ignore society its a bunch of dumbshit lies mostly because what you can trust is what you can see.
I look outside everyday and the sky is sometimes a beautiful blue or sometimes a powerful swirl of frigid ice and wind. There are trees and wilderness witnessing it all and living through it. So am I. The rest of my life contains time with my wife and son and books and the internet (no social media outside of here and 2 other forums). There is no commercialism, there is no bullshit about things that do not directly effect me and I like it that way because I don't give a fuck tbh. The everyday repetition of life cycles can get boring
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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Hobozen


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22194443 - 09/05/15 08:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I have tried that already, it was empty and dull.
Add MDMA into the mix
Or racemic ketamine if you're not big on comedowns 
Come visit Vancouver BC, asian tantric goddesses abound
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter]
#22194473 - 09/05/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Through the one on one interaction with someone at the least Interesting to you then you can start to understand the importance of tolerance for others views. Fromthere you can start to appreciate a different view than your own because even if its stupid its at least a change of view that can make you ponder things. If you can appreciate someone else's viewpoint and their personal outlook on life then you can start to care to preserve it and them. This sense of otherly preservation can be cultivated through care and tolerance and patience.
Don't ask the point Cuz the point is to die that's the last chapter already written. Its the pages between that you gotta fill. What kind of story you wanna leave behind? An adventure? A romance? Its up to you. Its only work if you don't want to do it. You don't have to do anything if you don't want and no one can make you but it'll be boring. That sucks so don't do that.
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The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter]
#22196453 - 09/06/15 10:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I still don't get the bit about loving yourself though.
Also I'm not sure I have the ability to fall in love with someone else, as much as I want to. As far as I know, I have just used people as a means to an end. It just hit me now. Maybe as a kid I didn't realize it, but now I do.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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resonant111
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22196768 - 09/06/15 11:20 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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yes, reality is inherently meaningless. all of our symbols and concepts are made up...a stop sign for example, is just a piece of metal--it only signifies stop because that's the meaning we assigned to it. same with everything in life...at the core, nothing really means anything, it's all made-up bullshit.
once you realize this you may either:
#1 sulk and wither away with a scowl on your face until the day you die, "omg life is such a lie! there's no real meaning!" #2 realize that the human experience is basically a playground for magic and you can CREATE ANY MEANING YOU WANT OUT OF ANYTHING, no matter how absurd or ridiculous.
so either you can wallow in the fact everything is in essence, a symbolic illusion OR you can bend and use that illusion to create whatever kind of reality you want to live. i'll take the latter, because, well---why not? instead of sulking about how bullshit everything is, USE THE BULLSHIT to your advantage. if you believe something means something, it WILL mean something--even if at the core it's just a pointless piece of fucking metal, like the stop sign.
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Edited by resonant111 (09/06/15 11:26 AM)
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22196770 - 09/06/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Also I'm not sure I have the ability to fall in love with someone else, as much as I want to. As far as I know, I have just used people as a means to an end. It just hit me now. Maybe as a kid I didn't realize it, but now I do.
Yeah, I think that's pretty typical with an ASD. It started out that way for me too. My first long term girlfriend was just a means to an end to loads of partying and loads and loads of amazing sex. I wouldn't even tell her I loved her for the first 3 years, cause I felt if I didn't 'know' I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I felt it would be wrong to say it (that's Aspergers for you). She left me after 4 years cause she couldn't handle it any more.
And guess what? Once she was gone, THEN I realised I loved her. I suffered intensely for two years following that loss.
So I fucked up pretty bad, but I learned from it. I now have an incredible capacity for love for many many people in my life, and various levels of love for others and self. But I fucked up many times and it took me a long tine and a lot of loss and suffering to get there.
Unfortunately, based on my experience and the experience of others, that just seems to be the only way to get there. Fuck up -> Suffer -> Learn.
It's worth it.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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It just find it hard to see past people being objects and not just tools for my own ends.
I've been through quite a few boyfriends and I don't think I really learned anything, maybe I just say that so I can convince myself of something. But every time one ends I keep wondering if I can. I think I lost that ability somewhere down the line and I haven't lthe fainted idea why or how to get it back.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22197084 - 09/06/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: maybe I just say that so I can convince myself of something.
I think this is likely and a very meaningful avenue of self-inquiry. Please explore it.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22197106 - 09/06/15 12:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: It just find it hard to see past people being objects and not just tools for my own ends.
Oh, and finding it hard does in no way mean that you're not capable of doing so (seeing people as more than that). You're talking to a master of this kind of internal rhetoric here. One who has struggled for years upon years with it, and is just starting to see that it's all bullshit. Please believe me - I know what it's like.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

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It is at least interesting that someone should see the world as so privy to one's use, or believe these "intellectual" positions have a basis, and be so basically inept...
Maybe it is not a fault, or something that could be blamed, but I agree with the majority here that somehow existence entails responsibility.
If I've ever been there, I'd say I think I was actually in love. Or was it loneliness? Hasn't something bitten down yet Thanatos10?
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt]
#22197376 - 09/06/15 02:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kurt said: It is at least interesting that someone should see the world as so privy to one's use, or believe these "intellectual" positions have a basis, and be so basically inept...
Maybe it is not a fault, or something that could be blamed, but I agree with the majority here that somehow existence entails responsibility.
If I've ever been there, I'd say I think I was actually in love. Or was it loneliness? Hasn't something bitten down yet Thanatos10?
What do you you mean by that?
As for before, I just see people as things to get what I want. I find that I usually treat them well to get something I want from them or special treatment, not out of any concern for them or to make them happy. It's just been a means to an end. My last boyfriend was pretty generous with me for some reason and I guess that's why I stuck around a lot. He also had things I didn't have and I used him for those things.
I guess that's why I don't get love. It's not really an exchange rate, and doing something for nothing makes little sense to me. I can't even fathom why people would give their lives for someone else. Yet people crave and want love so badly, I'm sitting wondering why. I just don't get it, it makes no sense to me, and it's kind of infuriating at times.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22197511 - 09/06/15 02:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You seem self aware of a way of treating others that - if you examine it - is an expression of power. At the same time you are talking about your ineptitude - for instance to feel.
Here is a question; have you ever thought that you are being too relativistic?
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt] 1
#22197835 - 09/06/15 03:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What does that mean?
Also I don't view it as power, I have no power over them. It's more like steering things my way in a way that they also get something out of it.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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BrendanFlock
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22198051 - 09/06/15 04:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nihilism is an end reference..it secures the bond between man and woman..and in this package id concrete information..Poker is true to the Taboo..but reading your cards is wise..and I am a Member of the Mafia..The threats of the Mafia..don have a purpose..but they like the equalise things..in case something is wrong in society..this is the good of the Mob..and as Maubuas the Third Anitchrist..I say that the united nations is honest...and therein that anything at all..that ever happens again..is of course served to the united nations..!
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BrendanFlock
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UN..is a News Speak, a Games Speak..and a Healths, Speak..We are all united..into this termoil..which is just another way of saying agenda..
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BrendanFlock
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So the CIA...works covert operations in Russia..and we need to Secure a Bond between, Me and Her...Can we Just come up to Japan..and take the ring of Sobriety..or Sorority into and out of the causms of time.
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Kurt
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22198172 - 09/06/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What is what supposed to mean? It sounds like you don't understand the difference between being at fault, and being responsible for things. Begin with listening and understanding, as an approach to life? Most people here will tell you the same thing I think.
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BrendanFlock
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Yakuza..is the cost of nihilism..and the paper plate..is like a clock..which ever folds into itself...we can never deny that time exists..but we can alwasy enjoy the present moment..and that is good for emotion and Love..
I am a Doctor..and to the Degree that your speaking..I think you are afraid of living forever...which is a candid call to get up..and pick up your things..and start over..this is the radial agreement me and Davy has, and Jesus is the Cutest Gnostic Ever...but i am still not gay..the only envelope to secure the bonds of trust..is in the tourist industry..if we can go anywhere in the world for tourism...than the United Nations is a Success Story..and therein we find that nihilism is only for the plants..and marine, and mineral Kingdoms..which inside and out carry the crown of Salvation..and into and out the Migraine Headache of Nietzsche is a calamity in time..but serves as a good reference point..towards the common mobility of futures..
And to share stock knowledge with each other..is not necessarily wrong..but you do have to understand..that the corporation wants you to be honest..and telling to the degree of the extreme..that we all get our refueled needs and wants..and on this pyramid..is a logic beacon..only the things that can survive are necessary...and to Quote a Chapter in the Origin of the Species by Darwin..
(At last gleams of light have come, and I am almost convinced (quite contrary to opinion I started with) that species are not (it is like confessing a murder) immutable. Heaven forfend me from Lamarck nonsense of a 'tendency to progression', 'adaptations from the slow willing of animals', &c! But the conclusions I am led to are not widely different from his; though the means of change are wholly so. I think I have found out (here's presumption!) the simple way by which species become exquisitely adapted to various ends.)
I Will Say: Ace is like a scale, in which the odds and evens are balance on a Neutronium..Newtonian Dynamic..Balancing Sheet...and World Sheet Formula..the Carry is a Gazelle.
Dynamic Balasty, or Audiotopsy..is a Grade in the Djinn of (Opalescence)Poker..or Prose..and in which we respect the marsh mellows of time..everyone wants to go camping..and thats a higher call to society..to stay safe..out in the wilderness..with our best efforts laid down to the sands of time..this is the biscuit..so to speak..and when you know Sea Biscuit you never go Back! overman is a common taboo...to degree the lost knowledge of schools..is an open ointment in which we can contain..the real elevance..in which the sky is true!
people have opinions about you..and that is a truly understood industry of perception..in which the langageges...or languagable autopsies are seen for what they really are...If you are a nihilist, I say take your medication from your Psychiatrist..and the be Gone! This is the common element in todays society..we are all afraid of change..and loosing money to the corporation.. which has as a comparison..100 Kilograms..compared to as one of us as a unit 10 grams of marijauna..
We are like a Goose Egg..sitting and channeling the energy of others..for the warfare of time..or the peace of time..either way..the energy is always balanced..and thats the reason to not rape and torture people..
Nihilism is like a form of torture..except that it only infects the mind..instead of say the body..
So i call it then a disease..unless you understand what your nihilism is..
maybe you can congruate this force of will..which is inside you and help society create a better place to live..
Many artists have suffered from Nihilism..and Pablo Picasso is Probably one of the most Greatest artists of our time...
But it is the balance of Good and Evil..which that will remain..
Evil is anything that hurts you..and good is anything that makes you feel better..so to classify this common species of mental attainment..we must forgo the honest logic of the day..and then just start doing our mantra work..or meditation..or working on the Fox Glove so to Speak..which is about dynamic balancing of forces..which in true urinaral speak..is about the loss of time..to execute a check and get a balance that pleases you is probably the only cause to be happy in life at all..we all need money to survive..and now i think that nihilism only starts when people dont have enough money..
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Vsnares.Zappa
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BrendanFlock
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And so to speak is the origin of our species..we are a whole and complete commuinity, but we have (feral)genetic disorders that have lasted for up to maybe a million years..we need to reorganize our DNA..so that it can stand in the spot light..and make the most of the best of things..which is that it attracts signals to the host(The Soul), and the broadcasts the mediary damage to the on comming traffic of life..and in this we are all on a highway so to speak..and just living the life is true..this is what nature is..it will always be around, and to the degree..is a bubble of logic..which as it pops..produces the necessary requisites... for the next bubble forming..
like on google..which was an expanded bubble..we all like to enlighten each other..but IBM..and Microsoft are the most powerful corporations in the world...and to Horde Gold..is common to amongst all people..and the redistribution of wealth..is totally on the cue..which is a dial in the case..or a tick..or tock..or click..which is where we draw our mana from..and our meditation from..This is a cue to the mourning, that whenever i have a cough i drink cough syrup..and then digest Dextromethorphan Powder..in Hydrobromide format: The Azzuli, or Lapis Lazuli..is a beacon..or common attainment..on the rights of nature..which is true and absorbed down and out through out the rights of nature..which is completely Holy..
I think the competition of people..who want to write better than other people..is a form of nihilism..and so it is in games..like Chess, Go..and Super Smash Brothers Melee...We all want to win in our Gene Pools..and there in we can find success.
Edited by BrendanFlock (09/06/15 04:56 PM)
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Vsnares.Zappa
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt]
#22198245 - 09/06/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kurt said: What is what supposed to mean? It sounds like you don't understand the difference between being at fault, and being responsible for things. Begin with listening and understanding, as an approach to life? Most people here will tell you the same thing I think.
I mean with being too relativistic, I don't get it.
I've been doing listening to people, but I don't understand where they come from. To me it just doesn't make sense why they do the things they do. Love seems irrational at best.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22199374 - 09/06/15 08:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How can you rationalize the worth or value of something you self admittedly have no experience of?
That does not mean you are incapable or anything like that. It might mean that you have possibly never experienced it, and have no frame of reference for feeling that type of strong emotion. But you did analyze your choices at least.
Quote:
Kurt said:
As for before, I just see people as things to get what I want. I find that I usually treat them well to get something I want from them or special treatment, not out of any concern for them or to make them happy. It's just been a means to an end. My last boyfriend was pretty generous with me for some reason and I guess that's why I stuck around a lot. He also had things I didn't have and I used him for those things.
I guess that's why I don't get love. It's not really an exchange rate, and doing something for nothing makes little sense to me. I can't even fathom why people would give their lives for someone else. Yet people crave and want love so badly, I'm sitting wondering why. I just don't get it, it makes no sense to me, and it's kind of infuriating at times.
thats the thing you arent doing things for nothing, you do things for each other, no keeping tally, no keeping score. You do it because that other person for one reason or another makes you life better, more pleasurable, companionship, conversation, intellectual stimulation, someone who will be brutally honest with you when you need to hear the truth because others won't. to not be alone all the fuckin time really helps. you do it because that person deserves the appreciation for what they provide as a sidekick in life.
so try and talk to people man. find at least a friend whos a good conversationalist, or at the least interesting and not an asshole. this in itself puts you into the social bubble a little bit.
If I'm wrong then you will at least have a friend or a mistake which lays another social rule down of how to interact with people and how to analyze other peoples thought processes. You gain XP in social, which ends up in the long run be able to help you empathize, and expand your ideas and stigmas of the world around you.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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Hobozen


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Quote:
Vsnares.Zappa said:

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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter]
#22200028 - 09/06/15 11:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
nuentoter said: How can you rationalize the worth or value of something you self admittedly have no experience of?
That does not mean you are incapable or anything like that. It might mean that you have possibly never experienced it, and have no frame of reference for feeling that type of strong emotion. But you did analyze your choices at least.
Quote:
Kurt said:
As for before, I just see people as things to get what I want. I find that I usually treat them well to get something I want from them or special treatment, not out of any concern for them or to make them happy. It's just been a means to an end. My last boyfriend was pretty generous with me for some reason and I guess that's why I stuck around a lot. He also had things I didn't have and I used him for those things.
I guess that's why I don't get love. It's not really an exchange rate, and doing something for nothing makes little sense to me. I can't even fathom why people would give their lives for someone else. Yet people crave and want love so badly, I'm sitting wondering why. I just don't get it, it makes no sense to me, and it's kind of infuriating at times.
thats the thing you arent doing things for nothing, you do things for each other, no keeping tally, no keeping score. You do it because that other person for one reason or another makes you life better, more pleasurable, companionship, conversation, intellectual stimulation, someone who will be brutally honest with you when you need to hear the truth because others won't. to not be alone all the fuckin time really helps. you do it because that person deserves the appreciation for what they provide as a sidekick in life.
so try and talk to people man. find at least a friend whos a good conversationalist, or at the least interesting and not an asshole. this in itself puts you into the social bubble a little bit.
If I'm wrong then you will at least have a friend or a mistake which lays another social rule down of how to interact with people and how to analyze other peoples thought processes. You gain XP in social, which ends up in the long run be able to help you empathize, and expand your ideas and stigmas of the world around you.
Im my experience with people, its exhausting having to deal with them. I can't imagine people doing romantic relationships by choice knowing what goes into them. How can they put so much effort into one person and why? People say when you love someone you'll know, what does that even mean?
Also if nothing really matters, then why would someone meaning something to me matter to them?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22200140 - 09/07/15 12:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: People say when you love someone you'll know, what does that even mean?
It means exactly what it says. If I get wet/cold/hot, I know. When I love someone, I know I do. When I found 'the one', I knew.
Inane question.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Hobozen


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*questions
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nuentoter
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Hobozen]
#22200993 - 09/07/15 08:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Its about discovery and exploration of new frontiers for yourself man. Thats exactly why you don't know until you try.
You cannot know what it is to love someone until you do, this is with any unexperienced emotion, you cannot know hatred until you hate someone. you cannot know fear in any real sense unti you've been afraid of something.
Most of the people here have not been mixing words with you, this can almost all be taken at face value, it is you Thanatos that must take the risk (if ya got the balls) and try.
Its the same as your questions about why it is worth it for you or the other person, you will never know unless you try. There are no answers for your path through life that do not come from you just doing it, just living life and trying things. Everything we say is simply third hand accounts and reports that may have no bearing in your life but they might! We don't know and you are the one to make the choice to try and see if they do.
Since you believe in Nihilism, you got nothing to lose! 
Also dunno why that quote got misquoted as kurt hmmm.
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The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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Thanatos10
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: People say when you love someone you'll know, what does that even mean?
It means exactly what it says. If I get wet/cold/hot, I know. When I love someone, I know I do. When I found 'the one', I knew.
Inane question.
I would not call it the same thing, I know when I am hot or cold. Those are physical sensations. I don't know if I love someone and all people can say is you'll know without even saying what that is. They say it's different for everyone, but that just makes it more confusing. I have never fallen in love with someone or wanted to be with them like that. I don't even know what to look for that shows me I'm falling for someone. How is y different than friendship? What does friendship feel like?
As for the ability, I don't think I have it anymore. I used to love my parents and my family, but now I couldn't care less about them. They mean pretty much nothing to me but I still need them around for things. That much I know. If I don't love those who gave birth to me why would it happen for someone else?
In the past relationships I have had I could not comprehend why people felt the need to text each other everyday or how they say they love me when it's only been two weeks. Or the need to have sex all the time instead of just hanging out. People are just so needy in relationships. I keep thinking to myself, is this what I'm looking for? A chain to weigh me down?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22202731 - 09/07/15 03:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said:
As for the ability, I don't think I have it anymore. I used to love my parents and my family, but now I couldn't care less about them. They mean pretty much nothing to me but I still need them around for things. That much I know. If I don't love those who gave birth to me why would it happen for someone else?
In the past relationships I have had I could not comprehend why people felt the need to text each other everyday or how they say they love me when it's only been two weeks. Or the need to have sex all the time instead of just hanging out. People are just so needy in relationships. I keep thinking to myself, is this what I'm looking for? A chain to weigh me down?
That second part sounds like you understand your own rules of engagement with other people and what you expect from your relationship and what you don't. I don't understand peoples need to be so damn clingy either. My wife and I can go a day or 2 without even really talking to each other out of necessity. sex is another thing that has no real NEED in a relationship and to want/crave it constantly seems to cheapen in, at least for me.
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The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22202771 - 09/07/15 03:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
As for the ability, I don't think I have it anymore.
But you said it's only been a month since youve been like this?
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22202823 - 09/07/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I would not call it the same thing, I know when I am hot or cold. Those are physical sensations.
Well, that's hardly surprising. From what you say of yourself you seem almost devoid of emotional sensations (which are a central tenet of human existence). And yet I have not seen you once show any determination to do anything about it. Instead you spend your time here moaning about how terrible it is and asking inane questions.
If I were you, I'd put everything I have into becoming a connected human again. How's that meditation coming on?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Hobozen]
#22203354 - 09/07/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I would not call it the same thing, I know when I am hot or cold. Those are physical sensations.
Well, that's hardly surprising. From what you say of yourself you seem almost devoid of emotional sensations (which are a central tenet of human existence). And yet I have not seen you once show any determination to do anything about it. Instead you spend your time here moaning about how terrible it is and asking inane questions.
If I were you, I'd put everything I have into becoming a connected human again. How's that meditation coming on?
But I don't know what to do about it. Lately it just seems like I don't really feel anything. I've tried doing things that made me feel a certain way before, but the effect is greatly diminished or non existent. I'm trying to figure this out but I don't know what is causing it.
I mean with the meditation I certainly feel calmer during and after it, but so far that's been about it really.
Quote:
blankk said:
Quote:
As for the ability, I don't think I have it anymore.
But you said it's only been a month since youve been like this?
Perhaps a bit longer than a month or maybe its just been a steady decline in the ability to do so.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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jimiandtheshroom27
Lost in endless spirals.


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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22213104 - 09/09/15 04:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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It has amazed me reading through the exceptional advice people have given you on this thread. I would really think about what people have said here. In fact, i will!
I think you feeling the way you do is strongly linked to the fact that you are judging everything. You seem to take your thoughts as facts.
If you are depressed, you will be thinking negatively.
So what you need to do, is to stop identifying with these thoughts.
Easier said than done, right? But thats what it comes down to.
Because can you not see that your thoughts right now are just negative loops?
If it is emptiness you feel, then how can emptiness be bad? emptiness is devoid of anything.
Why not try a little experiment? If you really are feeling as you are and dont care about anything, well then you have nothing to lose right?
Why dont you refuse yourself this identification with your thoughts. You realise that you arent your thoughts?
The single biggest thing that helped me out of depression was this:
THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS. Just because you feel a certain way, doesnt mean that is valid reflection of the world, of the real you, of anything. Feelings, and thoughts, are temporary.
Please believe me. All i can tell you is that much of what you say reminds me of how i used to feel. Including all the parts about my life being a never ending cycle of misery and woe, including that i'd tried to make myself feel better but things just get worse, including thinking i didnt even care about the people i love.
Do not give in to the easy arrogance of thinking that you are one of the few people, if not the only person, who can see what the world really is. Because you aren't.
Do not think that you are alone in being the only one to have felt like you do, and do not let depression cloud your mind enough to think that enjoying life isnt possible in the future. I'm telling you, it is.
Believe it or not, there are extremely intelligent people who have thought about life and all its misery's and terrors even harder than you, who have felt just as you do now, and who right now are enjoying life again.
Challenge your thoughts. Become one of those people.
Get
-------------------- Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel? City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
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Jokeshopbeard
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Quote:
jimiandtheshroom27 said: Believe it or not, there are extremely intelligent people who have thought about life and all its misery's and terrors even harder than you, who have felt just as you do now, and who right now are enjoying life again.
Great post Jimi. I have definitely found this to be the case. Ironically, I've found I've come across people with this kind of experience more and more frequently since I pulled myself out of the kind of place Thantos is in right now. Some kind of law of attraction or confirmation bias at work I suppose. Or perhaps when one is in that place one is simply not in a state of mind to recognise this!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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jimiandtheshroom27
Lost in endless spirals.


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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Ironically, I've found I've come across people with this kind of experience more and more frequently since I pulled myself out of the kind of place Thantos is in right now. Some kind of law of attraction or confirmation bias at work I suppose. Or perhaps when one is in that place one is simply not in a state of mind to recognise this!
Yeah, I'd say confirmation bias plays a massive role in depression. You become attached to negative ways of thinking about the world, and when anything unpleasant happens, or might happen, you say " oh great, here we go again, more shit". The expectation that develops that things are shit, are going to be shit, and in general, are shit, starts shaping thoughts, actions, behaviour, until all of those things start to deteriorate, making it even harder to escape from. It stops being "i am having a negative thought about something" to "the world is like this/my life is like this/always will be". And it can take something big and special to smash that worldview. My first shroom trip definitely helped- i wouldnt say it magically cured me, but becoming aware that how i felt wasnt the only way i could feel, feeling genuine awe and peace again... it made a hole in the wall.
It is of course a sad fact that depressed people usually completely isolate themselves, often intentionally and sometimes through their words to people. I think even if a depressed person met someone who had been through depression even harder than them, the cognitive bias can become so strong that the other person's recovery might just be used as a means of self pity or further distancing " I'm not as strong as they are/ They are different to me, they got better for reasons i never will".
Anyway , i'm mainly speaking from my own experience and what i have studied about depression . I recognise depression can be different for different people. Sometimes life is really shit, and i dont think anybody should have to feel that they've got to be happy. Sometimes its just part of life to feel terrible. But its the attachment to negativity, like having "negative glasses" on, only seeing things one, self sustaining way, which regardless of life situation we should always try to tackle. At least that's what i think
-------------------- Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel? City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
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TENGOp
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I've only read 3 pages of this so far and I'm going to stop for my sanity... but does anyone else think that Thanatos10 is trolling everyone really hard right now?
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circastes
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: TENGOp]
#22219311 - 09/10/15 11:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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fucking lol
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Thanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: circastes]
#22221608 - 09/11/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What's trolling?
As for what you've said, I think there is some truth to it. Even reading about how you said there are other people who have thought about this harder than me, it just made me feel weak and inadequately. Like these people who are better than me and had it worse could get over it, and I can't, then there is no hope for me. It's just really hard to think things can get better when you've been steeped in this for so long. I have tried several things to get past this (this isn't the only instance I have felt this way) but I end up backsliding somehow. I guess that just erodes my hope that things can change or truly get better for me. I dismiss this advice because I have tried it in the past to no avail.
But I'm stuck on the thoughts are not reality bit. That's a really big pill to swallow and I'm not sure what you mean by that? I can't trust what I think? So where does that leave me in regards to the day to day?
I guess I did fall into the trap of thinking I see reality the way it is.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22221768 - 09/11/15 12:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Get over yourself, Jesus Christ. You're not special and there's nothing to figure out. Live, do what you want and then die.
Right now, you clearly want to wallow in self-pity, and that's fine but ime it gets old and you have to try and get the things that you think will make you happy. Nobody really cares about you so if you refuse to care for yourself and your interests, you will be forever dumb and your life will be gone before you know it.
Then you can dwell on what you coulda done instead of "why do anything" like you're currently doing
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nuentoter
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: cez]
#22224503 - 09/11/15 09:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thoughts are not reality. They are simply possibilities and what ifs and full of potential but nothing more. Actions are reality. Is what you do with those thoughts that makes all the difference. Thoughts are there so you can visualize the possibilities without fucking things up by acting on whims.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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jimiandtheshroom27
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22225496 - 09/12/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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As for what you've said, I think there is some truth to it. Even reading about how you said there are other people who have thought about this harder than me, it just made me feel weak and inadequately.
Thats because you are depressed. What you should take comfort and hope from, you instead take sadness and despair from. That's not your fault. Its a pattern of thinking that you have fallen into.
Do not be judgemental of yourself when you have thoughts of sadness or low self worth. You see, when we are lost in our thoughts, we dont realise that when we think something, we dont have to be that one there feeling it as well.
YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE WAVES... BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SURF  
If you can let your thoughts pass, to just recognise them in a non judgemental way, distance yourself from them, to not get caught up in them, then you will be in a much better place to actually question them.
What you have to do, is question your negative thoughts. And from the way you speak you have an awful lot of them. So take them one at a time. Write them down in a book, write how they make you feel mentally, and in your body. Then ask yourself, is there any other way i could be looking at this? Is this really realistic? What counts as evidence, however initially small, against this thought?
Dig Deep. Sometimes several negative thoughts are tied to one underlying automatic big one.
In essence, i'm recommending you CBT. CBT was what helped me get better. I consider it to be the best treatment for depression there is. Look into it, and follow what it outlines.
-------------------- Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel? City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
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Icelander
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22229605 - 09/13/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: pbs, wot
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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DisoRDeR
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander] 1
#22230601 - 09/13/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
A rare treat.
It tastes like ashes.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22230983 - 09/13/15 10:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
I've read a few pages of this and IMO you are the one who understands. A rare treat.
You gotta be kidding. Op has an inherent meaning in watching people and how interesting it is and then continues through the thread talking about how he has no interests and there's no point to anything.
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Icelander
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cez]
#22231266 - 09/13/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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no i'm not kidding
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Space Elf



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22231296 - 09/13/15 11:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: no i'm not kidding
Welcome back!
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

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Thanatos10
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22232394 - 09/13/15 03:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
I've read a few pages of this and IMO you are the one who understands. A rare treat.
I don't get what you mean. This isn't exactly a pleasant state for me to be in.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232425 - 09/13/15 04:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah you've opened a can of worms now Ice; be prepared to be bombarded by numerous questions about 'what you mean'!
Great to have you back man; we were only just talking the other day about how much we missed you!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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Sigh, I just want a way out of this.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232707 - 09/13/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Sigh, I just want a way out of this.
Well that's easy, you've got two; fix up or end it.
I suggest the former.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
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I've been working on the fixing aspect. It's hard to fight the thoughts that assail my mind. Waking up each day with a weight on my body, mind and soul. every day is rough with highs and lows, although more lows than highs.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232900 - 09/13/15 05:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Are you open to the fact that it's probably gonna take a long time and A LOT of hard work? You seem to be always searching for simple quick fix answers here, and, IMO, there ain't no quick fix.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22232916 - 09/13/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I've been working on the fixing aspect. It's hard to fight the thoughts that assail my mind. Waking up each day with a weight on my body, mind and soul. every day is rough with highs and lows, although more lows than highs.
Well, Thanatos, you know what the poets say:
Life's a bitch And then you die
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Icelander
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22233165 - 09/13/15 06:32 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: wot
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (09/13/15 06:35 PM)
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22233221 - 09/13/15 06:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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how do we ever know what door is "fully" open
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22233252 - 09/13/15 06:46 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes, but is it necessary to let this facing of the truth ruin one's life?
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Icelander
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: DividedQuantum]
#22233433 - 09/13/15 06:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: cause
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22233478 - 09/13/15 07:06 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Life is already in ruins. I don't know anyone without a ruined life. I should add I don't believe what people say to me as a general rule. Very few people even know when they are lying. It's the default program and so mostly unseen.
Believe me, you don't have to tell me about that. My situation is quite a distance from perfect. Nevertheless, while I would not say I am really happy, I am content, and certainly not unhappy or miserable. In the Nietzschean sense, one must take all of it and turn it around. Conquer it or it conquers you. You only get one shot.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Icelander
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: DividedQuantum]
#22233547 - 09/13/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: pbs
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22233596 - 09/13/15 07:19 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well, now you're making unfounded assumptions about me. I don't know how many more storms (other than death) are on my horizon, but I've weathered a couple the likes of which I couldn't begin to communicate here. If you'd like some idea, feel free to .
By "one shot" I mean this life. And why does everything have to be so polarized? When I last visited Chapel Perilous, duality was in serious question. What on earth is wrong with contentment?
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: DividedQuantum]
#22233686 - 09/13/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: cause
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
Edited by Icelander (09/13/15 07:39 PM)
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Thanatos10
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22233924 - 09/13/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What is chapel perilous?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22234008 - 09/13/15 08:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: waste
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22234167 - 09/13/15 08:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ride it out? What's at the end of that road?
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22234183 - 09/13/15 09:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: mistake
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22234265 - 09/13/15 09:08 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't understand.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22234279 - 09/13/15 09:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: stupid
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22234988 - 09/13/15 11:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Why do so many people REALLY enjoy life?
I've just started to enjoy life again, and I find it all comes down to brain health. The world is amazing, so are our sense organs.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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nuentoter
conduit



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: circastes]
#22235891 - 09/14/15 10:17 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh no Icelander don't tell me you ditched this thread. Thanatos take a day and dedicate it to stop asking questions. Simply be for a day. Give yourself a break dude.
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The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Icelander]
#22236019 - 09/14/15 10:47 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: wot
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: cause
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: pbs
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: cause
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: waste
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: mistake
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Icelander said: Post deleted by Icelander<p>Reason for deletion: stupid
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: DividedQuantum]
#22236033 - 09/14/15 10:51 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Come back soon Icey, it was fun seeing you.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22236040 - 09/14/15 10:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: no i'm not kidding
You forgot to delete this one.
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somethingsomeonejr


Registered: 02/01/13
Posts: 84
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10] 1
#22236073 - 09/14/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I feel you man.
People generally say this is somethings you'll grow out off. And you will. Eventually, you will manipulate yourself enough to keep going. You will trick yourself into believing in, well, anything, to keep afloat. Cause that's what humans do. We fool ourselves into thinking that life is something with meaning.
Everything we do here is waiting for time. We're being stubborn while staring down the barrell.
I look at people around me work their asses off for menial shit like crunching numbers for a bank, get loans they'll never pay and live lifes that's reduced to a silent buzz in the great machinery of Civilization.
I say, fuck it man. Fuck people. Fuck their expectations, fuck their definitions.
You wanna be happy? Make your own world. Build your own delusions. When you study people for long enough, you'll notice no one has a fucking clue. Nobody knows what they're doing, except what they're told. Don't chase the same ghost as everyone else.
And to these people who tell you this is a phase, this is age, this is chemical storms in your head; they just caved. They're optimists. They believe in something better around the bend, as humans do. Survival-instinct on overdrive.
Life is war. For most of us, it's inside an office or store, putting each other in debt instead of ripping each others arms off. Pressuring each other into conforming instead of driving a spear through the chest. We're at war; we just made savagery so complex.
"Hope is the normal form of delirium."
-------------------- "We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
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cosmicg
ForeverLost



Registered: 08/30/15
Posts: 138
Loc: HERE
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Thanatos, I have not read any of your latest posts, and though I may have come across as rude or condescending towards you at times,this topic has me thinking. Not about your disconnection from human life, but human life itself.
I am not autistic, as far as I know, but I can empathize with you on the loneliness of life in itself.
I will do some reading and share more with you man.
Nevermind SH ^ covered everything in a much more articulate way then I could in the present mental state that I find myself in.
Nice post man.
Edited by cosmicg (09/14/15 12:00 PM)
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cosmicg]
#22236452 - 09/14/15 12:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sigh, I just don't think I'll be able to fool myself again. Not when every attempt just feels like living some sort of lie.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22236465 - 09/14/15 12:44 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude you just need to break that narrative. You are hardly so "negative" as you think I'd bet; you just have a hollow place that fills up.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22236562 - 09/14/15 01:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Sigh, I just don't think I'll be able to fool myself again. Not when every attempt just feels like living some sort of lie.
You think you're living in truth and not lying to yourself with every narrative you ramble in your head about the follies of mankind and it's desire for love and affection?
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Thanatos10
Stranger



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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cez] 4
#22237974 - 09/14/15 06:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think that the fact that it does not matter and that it is meaningless doesn't make it so. This is all based on just what I can observe as a human which is not much. A meaning that I cannot find might as well be one that does not exist. When I told all of this to my therapist (including most of the stuff in this forum), he just said "so what"?
That got me thinking. So what? So what if human life is like that, its not like it matters. Does that mean I have to live life in dread? He clearly believes that nothing he does matters but still seems quite happy if not content. Thinking about it, I find insects and watching them and studying them to be absolutely amazing. Is there any point or purpose to it? No. I just like it, I lose myself in the process.
I have to acknowledge I don't know enough to make the assumptions I do about humans.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22238239 - 09/14/15 07:27 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cez]
#22239361 - 09/15/15 12:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh man I totally missed Icelander's comeback! It's not like him to delete any of his posts though, that's kinda suspicious  He usually just speaks his mind no matter what people think.
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nuentoter
conduit



Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 2,721
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22241825 - 09/15/15 03:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I think that the fact that it does not matter and that it is meaningless doesn't make it so. This is all based on just what I can observe as a human which is not much. A meaning that I cannot find might as well be one that does not exist. When I told all of this to my therapist (including most of the stuff in this forum), he just said "so what"?
That got me thinking. So what? So what if human life is like that, its not like it matters. Does that mean I have to live life in dread? He clearly believes that nothing he does matters but still seems quite happy if not content. Thinking about it, I find insects and watching them and studying them to be absolutely amazing. Is there any point or purpose to it? No. I just like it, I lose myself in the process.
I have to acknowledge I don't know enough to make the assumptions I do about humans.
Welcome to the fold my friend. Finally your starting to see things how they really are, not great, not crappy, they just are.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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somethingsomeonejr


Registered: 02/01/13
Posts: 84
Loc: Rootless
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: resonant111]
#22241884 - 09/15/15 03:41 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanatos, can you point to that turning point when everything went black? Or was it always like that?
I always had a bleak sense of the world. My skin feels to tight or the air to thin or people to meaty. Feels strange, altogether. Badly built. Like IKEA furniture. But I twisted and crawled my way forward, not giving to much thought about what I was really doing. A few years of panic and bottles and drugs and still not knowing what I am really doing, what any of us are really doing. Still wearing my flesh like a puppet, real and not real, me and something completely diferent.
Shit, I don't know dude. I'm not good at giving advice for those feeling down. A mind heavy with existential despair is often an awoken one. Into what, I don't know. Spiritual quest. Self-destruction. But the old foundation is crumbling and that is fucking terrifying sometimes.
Either way, learn to find comfort in the darkness. Close your eyes and that's all you see. Sleep and it's all there is. The universe is pretty dark. Our sun isn't even a speck of light out there. Don't let it weigh down. Let it carry you.
-------------------- "We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
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Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22242155 - 09/15/15 04:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Here's a tip for a kind of existential equinamity. Take it with a grain of salt but...
When someone says "I have been crawling on my belly through glass shards in the gutter and I don't know if I can offer advice, but..."
...Consider if you are asking for advice. You starting to get it? Lookout for the echoes and shadows and boogie men!
Be stoic. Recognize with resolve what is between you and nature in other words. It really is fascinating...what the Greeks called Gk: φύσις physis. I'LL attest that taking part in it is indeed what has been maintained as provenance.
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nuentoter
conduit



Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 2,721
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Kurt] 1
#22244448 - 09/16/15 05:47 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Or providence?
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22244513 - 09/16/15 06:30 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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What are you hoping/expecting your therapist will be changing?
Your life seems perfect to me, continue to observe insects. Jumping spiders FTW.
People are confused, and confusing. Why bother?
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: LunarEclipse] 1
#22245140 - 09/16/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I wanted to change the constant void that my life had become.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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cosmicg
ForeverLost


Registered: 08/30/15
Posts: 138
Loc: HERE
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22245688 - 09/16/15 12:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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One thing I like about this forum as opposed to any other ones is people actually try to be understanding. Thanatos has been struggling and there is so much support for people like Thanatos and anyone that really is in search of intelligent/helpful responses.
Thanatos, what if you found a girlfriend/boyfriend. You may have already mentioned earlier in the thread I just can't remember without going through all the messages again. What is your support system like?
Not that it really makes the least bit of difference for some, but for most it is key in staying sane and healthy.
Maybe you just need a little lovin' in your life?
Fill that void you feel me?
What kind of music do you like? Ever tried to some Aphex Twin?
If you're interested I could introduce you to a few tracks that changed my life and stick with me forever to this day and always will.
Edited by cosmicg (09/16/15 12:11 PM)
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant



Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: cosmicg]
#22246062 - 09/16/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Post deleted by CosmicJokeReason for deletion: wrong forum
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: CosmicJoke]
#22246083 - 09/16/15 01:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
CosmicJoke said: ugh, maybe i should take some kratom now too, really getting sick of toss and washing this shit 
Mix it with yoghurt brother! I'm literally right about to do that myself. It's 10x less disgusting than toss & wash.
What's an applecare appointment? And why get so high beforehand?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
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Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cosmicg]
#22246899 - 09/16/15 04:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
cosmicg said: One thing I like about this forum as opposed to any other ones is people actually try to be understanding. Thanatos has been struggling and there is so much support for people like Thanatos and anyone that really is in search of intelligent/helpful responses.
Thanatos, what if you found a girlfriend/boyfriend. You may have already mentioned earlier in the thread I just can't remember without going through all the messages again. What is your support system like?
Not that it really makes the least bit of difference for some, but for most it is key in staying sane and healthy.
Maybe you just need a little lovin' in your life?
Fill that void you feel me?
What kind of music do you like? Ever tried to some Aphex Twin?
If you're interested I could introduce you to a few tracks that changed my life and stick with me forever to this day and always will.
My therapist is the only one I can talk to sanely about these things.
As for love, I don't feel it anymore. I would not even know it if it smacked me across the face with a bat.
As for music it's mostly electronic and pop. But I would be interested in what you are offering though.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22246950 - 09/16/15 04:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: My therapist is the only one I can talk to sanely about these things.
You forgot about us! A bunch of saner people I have never found!!
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: As for love, I don't feel it anymore. I would not even know it if it smacked me across the face with a bat.
That sounds like you being stuck in your distorted thoughts again. You said 'anymore' - it stands to reason that if you knew it once you'd know it if you felt it again.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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LunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story


Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22247253 - 09/16/15 05:59 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: I wanted to change the constant void that my life had become.
Really? It doesn't sound like it to hear you talk about things. Maybe you need a new therapist? This one sucks.
-------------------- Anxiety is what you make it.
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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To be honest I've really only known lust which I guess I confused with love. I have never been in love before and when people told me they were with me it just felt weird. Like I didn't love them but they were into me. But I have known desire and lust.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22248360 - 09/16/15 09:16 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I totally sympathize with your confusion on this. However, I'll bet that you'll fall in love at some point. The real issue is whether that will go at all well, or not.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant



Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
CosmicJoke said: ugh, maybe i should take some kratom now too, really getting sick of toss and washing this shit 
Mix it with yoghurt brother! I'm literally right about to do that myself. It's 10x less disgusting than toss & wash.
What's an applecare appointment? And why get so high beforehand?
yikes, meant to post this one in the ODD WCA thread.... apple computers are for mostly urban people who can take their computer directly into the store when it needs to be fixed. MY 512gb PCI-E SSD died on me, would have cost $900 if I hadn't had their extended "applecare" warranty... Meanwhile M-Sata ones cost maybe $160 right now? Anyways, I tend to be nicer and more sociable and less likely to rage on an innocent person when high... I have good reason to be mad, i think my $3200 computer was in their shop at least 5 weeks last year until they replaced it with this one, which hasn't even survived a year without problems... and they don't have the most replaceable part of their newest, highest end macbook in stock, so I have to wait until Friday or Saturday to get the thing back .
oh, plus i hate the yogurt method, it's like kratom powder envelops the yogurt rather than the yogurt hiding the kratom..... unless you are using way, way more yogurt, blech. i mean, i got the idea of yogurt on my own, but i think i stirred it in which wasn't the greatest idea, more like you want a little layer of yogurt on the bottom, pour kratom in, put another big glop on top and then let it slide down your throat..... the way i was doing it was making it so the kratom was like a shell around the yogurt making me gag
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good. If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care. It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence. I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
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cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: CosmicJoke]
#22249933 - 09/17/15 08:29 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,664
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: cez]
#22250470 - 09/17/15 10:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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try not to explode with rapture
-------------------- with our love with our love we could save the world
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
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Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22256528 - 09/18/15 02:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
sounds like you have become numb/lost your feelings/soul/empathy
I am not only thinking but knowing that how you feel is pretty common for many people now and getting worse because this culture. civilization BREEDS that feeling. It wants you to feel like that!
many moons ago when i was 8/9 till 15, I realize just how dulled I had gotten, and I see now that it was the result of the culture I was being affected by which was a combination of ignorant guardians who were also being affected, school (enforced 'education'), mass media, the news, friends, etc. I was not only dulled, I was getting a sadistic streak. It was only when 15, getting turned onto LSD is when these stagnant dull place this kid/me was in was washed away like some whitewater river, and I saw dramatically that matter, nature was very ALIVE and full of wonder and magic. I saw and felt it.
Does this mean that you begin seeing people live fulfilled lives. No. I am still human like everyone and I see this world as freakin insane and many people are dull and made to think of themselves as robot consumers. They are not only denied ecstasy via inspiration from psychedelics, they are denied the memory of our species' ancient primordial relationship with them. I bet you a lot of people, young and old, you stopped on the street and asked about what they knew of psychedelics would think they began with the hippies in the 1960s and that they make you go crazy!
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Thanatos10
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Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: zzripz]
#22256859 - 09/18/15 04:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Be serious, this was because of my brush with nihilism. Not the culture.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22260024 - 09/19/15 12:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh...this materialistic culture is nihilistic
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Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: zzripz]
#22260230 - 09/19/15 01:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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No it's not
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
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