|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
|
Quote:
jimiandtheshroom27 said: Believe it or not, there are extremely intelligent people who have thought about life and all its misery's and terrors even harder than you, who have felt just as you do now, and who right now are enjoying life again.
Great post Jimi. I have definitely found this to be the case. Ironically, I've found I've come across people with this kind of experience more and more frequently since I pulled myself out of the kind of place Thantos is in right now. Some kind of law of attraction or confirmation bias at work I suppose. Or perhaps when one is in that place one is simply not in a state of mind to recognise this!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
jimiandtheshroom27
Lost in endless spirals.


Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 228
Loc:
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
|
|
Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Ironically, I've found I've come across people with this kind of experience more and more frequently since I pulled myself out of the kind of place Thantos is in right now. Some kind of law of attraction or confirmation bias at work I suppose. Or perhaps when one is in that place one is simply not in a state of mind to recognise this!
Yeah, I'd say confirmation bias plays a massive role in depression. You become attached to negative ways of thinking about the world, and when anything unpleasant happens, or might happen, you say " oh great, here we go again, more shit". The expectation that develops that things are shit, are going to be shit, and in general, are shit, starts shaping thoughts, actions, behaviour, until all of those things start to deteriorate, making it even harder to escape from. It stops being "i am having a negative thought about something" to "the world is like this/my life is like this/always will be". And it can take something big and special to smash that worldview. My first shroom trip definitely helped- i wouldnt say it magically cured me, but becoming aware that how i felt wasnt the only way i could feel, feeling genuine awe and peace again... it made a hole in the wall.
It is of course a sad fact that depressed people usually completely isolate themselves, often intentionally and sometimes through their words to people. I think even if a depressed person met someone who had been through depression even harder than them, the cognitive bias can become so strong that the other person's recovery might just be used as a means of self pity or further distancing " I'm not as strong as they are/ They are different to me, they got better for reasons i never will".
Anyway , i'm mainly speaking from my own experience and what i have studied about depression . I recognise depression can be different for different people. Sometimes life is really shit, and i dont think anybody should have to feel that they've got to be happy. Sometimes its just part of life to feel terrible. But its the attachment to negativity, like having "negative glasses" on, only seeing things one, self sustaining way, which regardless of life situation we should always try to tackle. At least that's what i think
-------------------- Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel? City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
|
TENGOp
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 26
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
|
|
I've only read 3 pages of this so far and I'm going to stop for my sanity... but does anyone else think that Thanatos10 is trolling everyone really hard right now?
|
circastes
Big Questions Small Head



Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
|
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: TENGOp]
#22219311 - 09/10/15 11:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
fucking lol
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: circastes]
#22221608 - 09/11/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
What's trolling?
As for what you've said, I think there is some truth to it. Even reading about how you said there are other people who have thought about this harder than me, it just made me feel weak and inadequately. Like these people who are better than me and had it worse could get over it, and I can't, then there is no hope for me. It's just really hard to think things can get better when you've been steeped in this for so long. I have tried several things to get past this (this isn't the only instance I have felt this way) but I end up backsliding somehow. I guess that just erodes my hope that things can change or truly get better for me. I dismiss this advice because I have tried it in the past to no avail.
But I'm stuck on the thoughts are not reality bit. That's a really big pill to swallow and I'm not sure what you mean by that? I can't trust what I think? So where does that leave me in regards to the day to day?
I guess I did fall into the trap of thinking I see reality the way it is.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
|
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22221768 - 09/11/15 12:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Get over yourself, Jesus Christ. You're not special and there's nothing to figure out. Live, do what you want and then die.
Right now, you clearly want to wallow in self-pity, and that's fine but ime it gets old and you have to try and get the things that you think will make you happy. Nobody really cares about you so if you refuse to care for yourself and your interests, you will be forever dumb and your life will be gone before you know it.
Then you can dwell on what you coulda done instead of "why do anything" like you're currently doing
|
nuentoter
conduit



Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 2,721
Last seen: 7 years, 21 days
|
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: cez]
#22224503 - 09/11/15 09:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Thoughts are not reality. They are simply possibilities and what ifs and full of potential but nothing more. Actions are reality. Is what you do with those thoughts that makes all the difference. Thoughts are there so you can visualize the possibilities without fucking things up by acting on whims.
--------------------
The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know. - @entheolove "I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for" - Georgia O'Keefe I think the word is vagina
|
jimiandtheshroom27
Lost in endless spirals.


Registered: 04/25/13
Posts: 228
Loc:
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
|
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
#22225496 - 09/12/15 02:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
As for what you've said, I think there is some truth to it. Even reading about how you said there are other people who have thought about this harder than me, it just made me feel weak and inadequately.
Thats because you are depressed. What you should take comfort and hope from, you instead take sadness and despair from. That's not your fault. Its a pattern of thinking that you have fallen into.
Do not be judgemental of yourself when you have thoughts of sadness or low self worth. You see, when we are lost in our thoughts, we dont realise that when we think something, we dont have to be that one there feeling it as well.
YOU CAN'T FIGHT THE WAVES... BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO SURF  
If you can let your thoughts pass, to just recognise them in a non judgemental way, distance yourself from them, to not get caught up in them, then you will be in a much better place to actually question them.
What you have to do, is question your negative thoughts. And from the way you speak you have an awful lot of them. So take them one at a time. Write them down in a book, write how they make you feel mentally, and in your body. Then ask yourself, is there any other way i could be looking at this? Is this really realistic? What counts as evidence, however initially small, against this thought?
Dig Deep. Sometimes several negative thoughts are tied to one underlying automatic big one.
In essence, i'm recommending you CBT. CBT was what helped me get better. I consider it to be the best treatment for depression there is. Look into it, and follow what it outlines.
-------------------- Are you a lucky little lady in the City of Light Or just another lost angel? City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, City of Night, woo, c'mon
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life *DELETED* [Re: Thanatos10]
#22229605 - 09/13/15 12:11 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Post deleted by IcelanderReason for deletion: pbs, wot
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
DisoRDeR
motional



Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 1,158
Loc: nonsensistan
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander] 1
#22230601 - 09/13/15 09:19 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
A rare treat.
It tastes like ashes.
|
cez

Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22230983 - 09/13/15 10:38 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
I've read a few pages of this and IMO you are the one who understands. A rare treat.
You gotta be kidding. Op has an inherent meaning in watching people and how interesting it is and then continues through the thread talking about how he has no interests and there's no point to anything.
|
Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: cez]
#22231266 - 09/13/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
no i'm not kidding
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
|
Space Elf



Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22231296 - 09/13/15 11:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said: no i'm not kidding
Welcome back!
--------------------
|
Kurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
|
|
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Icelander]
#22232394 - 09/13/15 03:56 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Icelander said:
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Does anyone else seem to find human life....boring and dull?
It just seems like everything I found fulfilling and great before in my life just seems so petty, so small, so dull. I often find myself watching all the people around me, scurrying about, wondering...why. I see myself studying them and their reactions like some sort of scientist, cold and objective.
They run around in a world of their own creation, so enraptured by everything. I just can't seem to get into it anymore. Love, positivity, relationships, they seems so pointless. Their beliefs in destiny, fate, god, they all seem so foolish. As if they truly believe there is a plan meant for them. Definitions of good and bad seem so gray.
I find myself existing outside the "human world", the things I do now are more out of autopilot it seems. There is the occasional joy in them, but the feeling is diminished and feels vestigial. The more days pass, the further the disconnect from "my own kind".
It's weird, surreal, and interesting. Has anyone felt like this? Am I going crazy? Is this something I should stop? I'm not sure what to make of it.
I've read a few pages of this and IMO you are the one who understands. A rare treat.
I don't get what you mean. This isn't exactly a pleasant state for me to be in.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232425 - 09/13/15 04:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Yeah you've opened a can of worms now Ice; be prepared to be bombarded by numerous questions about 'what you mean'!
Great to have you back man; we were only just talking the other day about how much we missed you!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
Sigh, I just want a way out of this.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232707 - 09/13/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Thanatos10 said: Sigh, I just want a way out of this.
Well that's easy, you've got two; fix up or end it.
I suggest the former.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
Thanatos10
Stranger



Registered: 01/19/15
Posts: 2,770
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
|
|
I've been working on the fixing aspect. It's hard to fight the thoughts that assail my mind. Waking up each day with a weight on my body, mind and soul. every day is rough with highs and lows, although more lows than highs.
-------------------- As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.
|
Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
|
Re: Disconnected from Human Life [Re: Thanatos10]
#22232900 - 09/13/15 05:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
Are you open to the fact that it's probably gonna take a long time and A LOT of hard work? You seem to be always searching for simple quick fix answers here, and, IMO, there ain't no quick fix.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
|
|