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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Why My Tits Hurt [Re: Hobozen]
    #22192175 - 09/05/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

blankk said:
Can't believe nonobody's brought up hookers until now.




Nobody does the shake
Like I do
Nobody does the boogalaboo
Like I do
Nobody but me


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Why My Tits Hurt [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22192261 - 09/05/15 11:27 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I wanna be like you oo oo
Oo oo oo


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Why My Tits Hurt [Re: Hobozen]
    #22192282 - 09/05/15 11:37 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

blankk said:
I wanna be like you oo oo
Oo oo oo




I'm your prime cut of meat, I'm your choice
I wanna be elected
I'm your Yankee Doodle Dandy in a Gold Rolls Royce
I wanna be elected
Kids want a savior, don't need a fake
I wanna be elected - AC


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22193027 - 09/05/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Because I often find the bad usually eclipses the good, and it's hard to make it not matter.

The feelings of disconnect have always been I suppose. I find it hard to fit in with people or to find any whom understand me or that I can converse with.

When I mean their ways it's like reality TV, fashions, trends, these weird things that fascinate them. Also the notion of intimidate relationships. That as well as love confounds me. I have never felt that way about people other than my mother or my dogs, but to pair with another human....why? Even love itself is confusing, the things people do for it and in its name, also under it. Loving yourself has also always gone over my head.

I want an intimate relationship but I just cannot fathom why.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22193967 - 09/05/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You probably want to get laid at some point, even if you don't think you do.  I'd find a good clean hooker and wear a condom.  There's your "intimacy", enjoy it.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Edited by LunarEclipse (09/05/15 06:37 PM)


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #22194333 - 09/05/15 08:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I have tried that already, it was empty and dull.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Offlinenuentoter
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22194427 - 09/05/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It is a purely physical exchange. Meat on meat that can be very physically pleasing. But nothing more. Care for another person changes that. Putting anothers wants in front of your own and enjoying the result in return not out of expectation but being an unobligated appreciation of reciprocation.

You can never expect anything from anyone. This is part of the beauty of one on one interaction with people. They talk to you, care about you, be your friend, argue with you but still stick around d, because they choose to. They could be do other possibly better things with their life. If you can find an at least somewhat like minded individual and just be honest and talk with them. In real life or online, and they listen without judging then they may be worth the time furthering a mutual social relationship. Ignore society its a bunch of dumbshit lies mostly because what you can trust is what you can see.

I look outside everyday and the sky is sometimes a beautiful blue or sometimes a powerful swirl of frigid ice and wind. There are trees and wilderness witnessing it all and living through it. So am I. The rest of my life contains time with my wife and son and books and the internet (no social media outside of here and 2 other forums). There is no commercialism, there is no bullshit about things that do not directly effect me and I like it that way because I don't give a fuck tbh. The everyday repetition of life cycles can get boring


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22194443 - 09/05/15 08:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
I have tried that already, it was empty and dull.




Add MDMA into the mix  :fuckinawesome:

Or racemic ketamine if you're not big on comedowns :drooling:

Come visit Vancouver BC, asian tantric goddesses abound


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Offlinenuentoter
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter]
    #22194473 - 09/05/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Through the one on one interaction with someone at the least Interesting to you then you can start to understand the importance of tolerance for others views. Fromthere you can start to appreciate a different view than your own because even if its stupid its at least a change of view that can make you ponder things. If you can appreciate someone else's viewpoint and their personal outlook on life then you can start to care to preserve it and them. This sense of otherly preservation can be cultivated through care and tolerance and patience.

Don't ask the point Cuz the point is to die that's the last chapter already written. Its the pages between that you gotta fill. What kind of story you wanna leave behind? An adventure? A romance? Its up to you. Its only work if you don't want to do it. You don't have to do anything if you don't want and no one can make you but it'll be boring. That sucks so don't do that.


--------------------

The geometry of us is no chance. We are antennae, we are tuning forks, we are receiver and transmitters of all energy. We are more than we know.  - @entheolove

"I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn't say any other way - things I had no words for"  - Georgia O'Keefe

I think the word is vagina


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: nuentoter]
    #22196453 - 09/06/15 10:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

I still don't get the bit about loving yourself though.

Also I'm not sure I have the ability to fall in love with someone else, as much as I want to. As far as I know, I have just used people as a means to an end. It just hit me now. Maybe as a kid I didn't realize it, but now I do.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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Offlineresonant111
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22196768 - 09/06/15 11:20 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

yes, reality is inherently meaningless. all of our symbols and concepts are made up...a stop sign for example, is just a piece of metal--it only signifies stop because that's the meaning we assigned to it. same with everything in life...at the core, nothing really means anything, it's all made-up bullshit.

once you realize this you may either:

#1 sulk and wither away with a scowl on your face until the day you die, "omg life is such a lie! there's no real meaning!"
#2 realize that the human experience is basically a playground for magic and you can CREATE ANY MEANING YOU WANT OUT OF ANYTHING, no matter how absurd or ridiculous.

so either you can wallow in the fact everything is in essence, a symbolic illusion OR you can bend and use that illusion to create whatever kind of reality you want to live. i'll take the latter, because, well---why not? instead of sulking about how bullshit everything is, USE THE BULLSHIT to your advantage. if you believe something means something, it WILL mean something--even if at the core it's just a pointless piece of fucking metal, like the stop sign.


--------------------


Edited by resonant111 (09/06/15 11:26 AM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22196770 - 09/06/15 11:21 AM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
Also I'm not sure I have the ability to fall in love with someone else, as much as I want to. As far as I know, I have just used people as a means to an end. It just hit me now. Maybe as a kid I didn't realize it, but now I do.



Yeah, I think that's pretty typical with an ASD. It started out that way for me too. My first long term girlfriend was just a means to an end to loads of partying and loads and loads of amazing sex. I wouldn't even tell her I loved her for the first 3 years, cause I felt if I didn't 'know' I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I felt it would be wrong to say it (that's Aspergers for you). She left me after 4 years cause she couldn't handle it any more.

And guess what? Once she was gone, THEN I realised I loved her. I suffered intensely for two years following that loss.

So I fucked up pretty bad, but I learned from it. I now have an incredible capacity for love for many many people in my life, and various levels of love for others and self. But I fucked up many times and it took me a long tine and a lot of loss and suffering to get there.

Unfortunately, based on my experience and the experience of others, that just seems to be the only way to get there. Fuck up -> Suffer -> Learn.

It's worth it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22196975 - 09/06/15 12:13 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It just find it hard to see past people being objects and not just tools for my own ends.

I've been through quite a few boyfriends and I don't think I really learned anything, maybe I just say that so I can convince myself of something. But every time one ends I keep wondering if I can. I think I lost that ability somewhere down the line and I haven't lthe fainted idea why or how to get it back.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22197084 - 09/06/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
maybe I just say that so I can convince myself of something.



I think this is likely and a very meaningful avenue of self-inquiry. Please explore it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22197106 - 09/06/15 12:48 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Thanatos10 said:
It just find it hard to see past people being objects and not just tools for my own ends.



Oh, and finding it hard does in no way mean that you're not capable of doing so (seeing people as more than that). You're talking to a master of this kind of internal rhetoric here. One who has struggled for years upon years with it, and is just starting to see that it's all bullshit. Please believe me - I know what it's like.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleKurt
Thinker, blinker, writer, typer.

Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 1,688
Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22197294 - 09/06/15 01:34 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

It is at least interesting that someone should see the world as so privy to one's use, or believe these "intellectual" positions have a basis, and be so basically inept...

Maybe it is not a fault, or something that could be blamed, but I agree with the majority here that somehow existence entails responsibility.

If I've ever been there, I'd say I think I was actually in love. Or was it loneliness? Hasn't something bitten down yet Thanatos10?


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt]
    #22197376 - 09/06/15 02:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Kurt said:
It is at least interesting that someone should see the world as so privy to one's use, or believe these "intellectual" positions have a basis, and be so basically inept...

Maybe it is not a fault, or something that could be blamed, but I agree with the majority here that somehow existence entails responsibility.

If I've ever been there, I'd say I think I was actually in love. Or was it loneliness? Hasn't something bitten down yet Thanatos10?




What do you you mean by that?

As for before, I just see people as things to get what I want. I find that I usually treat them well to get something I want from them or special treatment, not out of any concern for them or to make them happy. It's just been a means to an end. My last boyfriend was pretty generous with me for some reason and I guess that's why I stuck around a lot. He also had things I didn't have and I used him for those things.

I guess that's why I don't get love. It's not really an exchange rate, and doing something for nothing makes little sense to me. I can't even fathom why people would give their lives for someone else. Yet people crave and want love so badly, I'm sitting wondering why. I just don't get it, it makes no sense to me, and it's kind of infuriating at times.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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InvisibleKurt
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22197511 - 09/06/15 02:39 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

You seem self aware of a way of treating others that - if you examine it - is an expression of power. At the same time you are talking about your ineptitude - for instance to feel.

Here is a question; have you ever thought that you are being too relativistic?


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OfflineThanatos10
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Kurt] * 1
    #22197835 - 09/06/15 03:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

What does that mean?

Also I don't view it as power, I have no power over them. It's more like steering things my way in a way that they also get something out of it.


--------------------
As lightless oblivion devours you, drown in the ever-blooming darkness.


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OfflineBrendanFlock
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Re: Mandibular Symphysis. [Re: Thanatos10]
    #22198051 - 09/06/15 04:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

Nihilism is an end reference..it secures the bond between man and woman..and in this package id concrete information..Poker is true to the Taboo..but reading your cards is wise..and I am a Member of the Mafia..The threats of the Mafia..don have a purpose..but they like the equalise things..in case something is wrong in society..this is the good of the Mob..and as Maubuas the Third Anitchrist..I say that the united nations is honest...and therein that anything at all..that ever happens again..is of course served to the united nations..!


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