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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... 13
#22156468 - 08/28/15 12:36 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is a cautionary tale of what life outside this website is like for me.
I went to pick my wife up from work yesterday. Her coworkers were going to a bar and we decided to tag along. Dive bar. My kind of place... or it was before transition.
We go in, order our drinks and discover it is a cash only bar. I only have enough to pay for my wife's. But... the bartender has already cracked my beer, a PBR (the most popular thing they sell). I apologize in embarrassment. He keeps the beer. I join the group.
I go outside and have a smoke with one of my wife's friends. We come back in and hang out at the table the others have grabbed.
Like, five minutes pass. Suddenly two guys grab me and start forcing me away from the table. After a moment of thinking, "WTF?" in fact I think I said something to that effect, I recognized the bartender was one of the guys. They were walking me to the back door. I was getting the boot.
There is no graceful way to walk when two big guys are forcing you to walk backwards. I was struggling and if any of you have been escorted out of a place before, you know that is a catch-22. Any struggle is taken to be an act of aggression. That makes them more forceful which causes more struggling...
Seeing this pattern for what it was, I said/shouted something like, "Woah! Slow down. I can do this myself. What is going on here?"
Seems the bartender wanted me to pay for the beer he had not served me. I was literally a dollar short. Unfortunately, there was now no way to resolve this quickly because I had been moved away from the table of friends any of whom likely would have ponied up the dollar easily.
Up runs my wife. "What the fuck's going on?!?" She is not sure if she should be angry at me for doing something I shouldn't have, or the staffers with their arms on me.
They tell her what they have told me. I didn't pay for the beer I was not served.
She explains to them that a transaction has not taken place if I was not given and/or drinking a beer I did not pay for.
Now a third guy from behind the bar, one who looks like a meth head from Deliverance walks up and says, "Should we get her too?" pointing at my wife.
This makes me mad. Like, She-Hulk mad. I wrap my wrists around the railing of the staircase I was inches away from being pushed down. "Don't lay a finger on her. That's my wife!"
I hold out for thirty seconds while three guys try to detach me from the railings. I only let go after the guy from Deliverance is told by his co-worker to leave my wife alone.
Then the inevitable happens. I am pushed down the stairs (I managed to keep my feet) and thrown face first out of the bar. Hands finally free, I managed to cover my face before I hit, so my wrists, an elbow and a knee took the impact. Abrasions from the sidewalk but nothing major.
So, why am I writing all this out? Partly to vent. Partly to make a point.
From all appearances, this happened because of a cheap beer. If the beer was so important he shouldn't have opened it until he got the money. I never took the beer. He kept it and likely sold it to the next person wanting a PBR.
But really, it happened because I am trans and out. And here is why I wanted to share this with you all. Bullies pick on the perceived weak. They see me as a man in a dress... well jeans and a shirt in this case. They see it as a "fair" fight. Even though I am seen as weak enough to pick on, I am still viewed as male. We can debate how male or female I am if you want, I don't really care. I have no testosterone in me. For those keeping score, that means I have even less than other women. My male strength is long gone. These guys never would have done what they did to a "real" woman.
And this is not the first time this has happened. Since coming out I have been assaulted four times, not counting this incident. The worst time resulted in scars, two sprained ankles and a fractured heel. The second worst? My belongings were stolen, more scars, I was knocked the fuck out and had to foot the ambulance bill. It goes on...
The number of times this has happened to me before transition? Zero.
Perhaps this is part of the reason why you see trans folk sticking up for themselves on these boards. Because it is a safe place to do it. This, "You're not really a woman mentality is killing us in real life."
Don't mind me while I lick my wounds.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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4HO-DMT


Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 5,073
Loc: County Line Road
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156509 - 08/28/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm so sorry that happened to you Rose. Shit heels are shit heels. If I saw this bullying going down, I would stand up for the victim.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156520 - 08/28/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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that's some messed up stuff rose i'm sorry to hear that happened to u
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: 4HO-DMT]
#22156524 - 08/28/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You wouldn't have unless you knew what was really going on. None of my friends did. They didn't really even have a chance. I was removed from their area so quickly and really, when someone gets 86'd it is logical to stay the Hell out of it. None of them had a chance to learn this was happening over a dollar.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156534 - 08/28/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm so sorry this happened to you rose. That pulled at my heart strings. Human beings can be so cruel 
None of this changes the fact BS is an ignorant asshat Tho Some of us had have had far more traumatic upbringings and lives and we still have to be accountable for how we act
And in saying that, I've always respected you. Which makes it even harder to hear about your horrible experience. No one, BS included, should have to be treated that way
-------------------- .
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156546 - 08/28/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's really shitty. Did you call the police?
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: 4HO-DMT] 1
#22156553 - 08/28/15 01:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I saw the thread title, and was hoping for a light hearted joke (optimism), and was swiftly struck down after reading for a few minutes.
I'm sorry that this is something you have to deal with on a seemingly-not-so-infrequent basis.
contrary to the views that some may hold against me from other threads, I really do have a lot of compassion towards trans folk, and it's a shame that more people can't be accepting.
we're all just trying to find a way to be happy in this crazy world.
I'm glad that you're able to get back on your feet and shake it off
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: psi]
#22156559 - 08/28/15 01:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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No.
You don't pick a fight you will likely lose. That would have upset the patrons at a dive bar and there is no telling when they might decide to retaliate out of nowhere. I live in a small town. I don't need enemies.
I got them away from me by taking my phone out and pretending to video tape them. It was a strong bluff. It worked.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 3
#22156571 - 08/28/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Is there a large LGBT community in your area? If so, organize a protest out front....draw attention to their bigotry, get the local media involved.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156583 - 08/28/15 01:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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FUCKING TROGLODYTES.
I hope you're OK lemondrop 
I know gay is not your thing, but I recommend going out in gay bars. You can get in trouble there too but a more fun kind of trouble, and you tend to get respected for being Trans.
You're not there to hit on anyone so it might as well be a gay bar no?
'
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156586 - 08/28/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was picturing calling after the fact, your call though of course. Edit: I misunderstood, I see you mean you might run into the same people again around town.
If they had just asked you to leave it would be understandable, since at that point you weren't a paying customer. No call for that kind of manhandling though.
Edited by psi (08/28/15 01:15 PM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Dark_Star]
#22156587 - 08/28/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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No there isn't.
And again, you don't pick fights in small towns.
The bar can say I was not buying anything from them and so they decided to boot me and I resisted. That is well within their rights. It is also true.
The only reason I know this was because I am trans is because I am not fucking stupid. Booting a tranny is funny. They did it to show off to their regular patrons.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Asante
Mage


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Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: psi] 4
#22156591 - 08/28/15 01:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Guys, often cops arent your friends when you're LGBT, kinda like being black. A problematic situation may unfold with the cops when you report it.
I had it happen.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Dark_Star] 1
#22156595 - 08/28/15 01:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I like this idea
She mentioned not wanting to make enemies in a small town, but I think it's that mentality that allows such fuck tards to keep acting the way they do
Rise up and piss all over them for what they did. Revenge is nice no matter what the hippys try to say
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante] 1
#22156596 - 08/28/15 01:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Bingo.
If I fight this, I become BS in the eyes of my community. Trans people who fight back get run through the ringer by assholes... or worse.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156597 - 08/28/15 01:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't know that it's within their rights to rough you up if you haven't been asked to leave and refused to do so though. Is it?
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156598 - 08/28/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Fight with some class and respect and you will be rose, not BS, and I'll support you
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: psi]
#22156599 - 08/28/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It is he said, tranny said. Who do you think they will believe?
Not even remotely worth the fight.
Plus, then I would have to dwell on this for even longer. Not worth it. Not at all.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156604 - 08/28/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You have witnesses. You discount your own voice far to much rose
I live in a small town too so I understand the struggle. But what they did is unacceptable.
-------------------- .
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Janky Tits

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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22156610 - 08/28/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's fucked up
You should sue or something.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
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Loc: 613
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156612 - 08/28/15 01:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Not trying to criticize your decision not to fight it if that's what you think is best, just trying to further a discussion of what is and isn't within their rights by the letter of the law.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156618 - 08/28/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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But if you don't stand up for yourself, who will? I get that it's hard, but think of the black folks that refused to move to the back on the bus in the 60s. They went through a lot of shit for that, but things changed. Had they not stood up & said fuck off, segregation might still be a thing.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 1
#22156621 - 08/28/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It was unacceptable.
But Masked, walk a mile in my heels. If I fought every trans related battle in my life, I would have no time for anything else.
The pack mentality you see here, can kill me in real life.
Calling the cops is a sign of weakness. Licking your wounds is what grown ups do.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156622 - 08/28/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yup, bend like the reed would be best in this case. Its least likely to escalate if you just swallow the humiliation and shit it out in private.
Nonetheless, might I recommend a lil canister of pepperspray in your pocket in a color that complements your outfit? 
Not to use as a deterrant, you'd get messed with even more, but as a last ditch defense, let's say as an appetizer to getting the shit kicked out of by a Trans on heels.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156628 - 08/28/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah I understand 
If I ever happen to visit your location I would gladly fight your battle for you. I enjoy a good troublemaking scenario such as that. Especially if I'm just visiting. 
Sorry about your horrible experience
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 1
#22156635 - 08/28/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Asante
Mage


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Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 1
#22156636 - 08/28/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You'd just buy them all support tickets Masked
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante]
#22156640 - 08/28/15 01:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It would not have helped in this case as I was blindsided and they were within their rights as shitty as that seems, but certainly worth doing.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante] 1
#22156641 - 08/28/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have my rough and tumble side 
I only expose the soft underbelly to you hippies
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante] 1
#22156656 - 08/28/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Asante said: FUCKING TROGLODYTES.
I hope you're OK lemondrop 
I know gay is not your thing, but I recommend going out in gay bars. You can get in trouble there too but a more fun kind of trouble, and you tend to get respected for being Trans.
You're not there to hit on anyone so it might as well be a gay bar no?
'
Not a gay bar within an hour's drive. I do prefer them though. Especially karaoke night. Nothing better than singing some Tom Waits or Leonard Cohen looking like I do.
Trust me, I do typically avoid troubled places but when you are with a group of six, you figure it is ok to go to a new place in safety.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Asante
Mage


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Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156666 - 08/28/15 01:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: It would not have helped in this case as I was blindsided and they were within their rights as shitty as that seems, but certainly worth doing.
Not in this case obviously, but for a future contingency. This was bad but they were not committed to do you physical harm. That might happen too, some drunk idiot getting the hots for you, then realizes your trans nature and, rather than settling it within himself, attacking you as if you're to blame.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante] 1
#22156679 - 08/28/15 01:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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hahahaha Tom Waits Trans that must be awesome!
Can you still strike a pitch like that after the hormones?
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante]
#22156695 - 08/28/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Alas, the voice doesn't change.
Hormones grow things... they don't tend to shrink them. Once my vocal chords grew during male puberty, I was doomed to be a baritone. All I can do is talk how I talk, raise my pitch, or get vocal surgery.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

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Posts: 4,563
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 1
#22156706 - 08/28/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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They had absolutely no right to lay hands on you. That's assault and battery. Personally, the police would have shown up there after I was treated like that, either to deal with those assholes directly, if I was in a civil mood, or to figure out why 2 out of the three of them were lying on the floor with collapsed trachea or missing eyes. Doing what they did is also a great way to get lawfully shot in my state.
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Asante
Mage


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Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156707 - 08/28/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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ah sorry yes. With male hormones its possible to get an even lower pitch in adulthood, but yeah thats growing not shrinking.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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qman
Stranger

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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante]
#22156718 - 08/28/15 01:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Rose, I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal. If you had the money for the beer in the first place, do you think they would have issue with you staying there and drinking it, or were they looking for a confrontation regardless?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: qman]
#22156731 - 08/28/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Transphobia (or much less commonly transprejudice) is a range of antagonistic attitudes and feelings against transsexuality and transsexual or transgender people, based on the expression of their internal gender identity (see Phobia – Terms for prejudice).
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#22156733 - 08/28/15 01:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr.GuessWork said: They had absolutely no right to lay hands on you. That's assault and battery. Personally, the police would have shown up there after I was treated like that, either to deal with those assholes directly, if I was in a civil mood, or to figure out why 2 out of the three of them were lying on the floor with collapsed trachea or missing eyes. Doing what they did is also a great way to get lawfully shot in my state.
That is a way to get my ass shot in retaliation. You don't take on the staff of a bar full of drunk patrons who like their bartenders.
Really folks, trust the 40 year old tranny on this one. You only pick fights when you know you will win. That is also why so many people have picked fights with me. These people had a legal reason for booting me from their establishment. It was bullshit and I know it, but all they would need to tell any authority was the truth. I was not a paying customer.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: qman]
#22156743 - 08/28/15 01:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
qman said: Rose, I'm sorry you had to go through that ordeal. If you had the money for the beer in the first place, do you think they would have issue with you staying there and drinking it, or were they looking for a confrontation regardless?
They were going to serve me. We have an anti-discrimination ordinance in town. The money just gave them the excuse they needed to get me out in such an ugly and embarrassing way. I was just talking to friends and waiting for my wife to finish her drink.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156766 - 08/28/15 01:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: trust the 40 year old tranny on this one.
I'd have never guessed you were that young. You act mature beyond your relatively low years.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Rose
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: luvdemshrooms]
#22156770 - 08/28/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Awwwww.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156816 - 08/28/15 02:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: You wouldn't have unless you knew what was really going on. None of my friends did. They didn't really even have a chance. I was removed from their area so quickly and really, when someone gets 86'd it is logical to stay the Hell out of it. None of them had a chance to learn this was happening over a dollar.
For the record, if one of my friends got grabbed like that by anybody while I was nearby, I'd be there putting my physical presence into the situation promptly, and if I was with other friends, then I wouldn't be alone. I wouldn't attack, but I'd certainly be in the way and making addressing my concerns an important matter for all parties involved. It's logical for strangers to stay the hell out of that stuff, but it's wrong for friends to do it. Who the hell drinks a beer while a friend gets grabbed from behind without any form of explanation!?
Quote:
Rose said:
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Mr.GuessWork said: They had absolutely no right to lay hands on you. That's assault and battery. Personally, the police would have shown up there after I was treated like that, either to deal with those assholes directly, if I was in a civil mood, or to figure out why 2 out of the three of them were lying on the floor with collapsed trachea or missing eyes. Doing what they did is also a great way to get lawfully shot in my state.
That is a way to get my ass shot in retaliation. You don't take on the staff of a bar full of drunk patrons who like their bartenders.
Really folks, trust the 40 year old tranny on this one. You only pick fights when you know you will win. That is also why so many people have picked fights with me. These people had a legal reason for booting me from their establishment. It was bullshit and I know it, but all they would need to tell any authority was the truth. I was not a paying customer.
They were within their rights to ask to to leave, but they had absolutely no right to lay hands on you. I'm not saying you should have picked a fight, and you probably would have gotten your ass kicked if you put up resistance, but you were clearly assaulted in that story. You not paying them doesn't give them the right to assault you. I don't know the laws in your state, but in mine you can legally bring a concealed gun into a bar. Bar fights are generally done with mutual consent, and bouncers don't generally start fights even in the dives. If the bar tender pulled that shit with me, I'd have called 911 because his stupid ass will eventually get somebody seriously hurt.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#22156874 - 08/28/15 02:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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While you are technically right, there is little chance in legal retaliation resulting in a satisfactory conclusion. It really is he said, tranny said. There is no need to escalate a situation any further. They knew they were in the wrong. That is why they scrambled when I got my phone.
It is easy to armchair quarterback a situation like this... but some day I may REALLY need the cops on my side and that is the sad truth. I am not going to get them involved this time. It is not worth it. It would just give people a reason to go after me. When you stand out like a sore thumb, you make an easy target. I do not need the paranoia.
I just get to live with the knowledge that one dollar will cost that bar many more dollars in the future. They can take the hit but ultimately what they did was bad for their bottom line. They lost money in that transaction.
The people I was with will take their money elsewhere. That is all the satisfaction I need from this debacle.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156906 - 08/28/15 02:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: The people I was with will take their money elsewhere.
Which will do no good unless they contact the bar owners and voice their displeasure.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork] 1
#22156914 - 08/28/15 02:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Oh, and they are not exactly my friends. They work with my wife. We are friendly. They do not know me well enough to come to my defense when a bartender at a place they frequent gives me the 86.
I wish they had defended me but were I in their shoes and the bartender took on a new acquaintance of mine, one I had never had a drink with before, I probably would have done the same thing. Of course I would claim otherwise the next day on The Shroomery and brag about how I would have really taken them all on out of honor and whatnot...
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: luvdemshrooms]
#22156916 - 08/28/15 02:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said:
Quote:
Rose said: The people I was with will take their money elsewhere.
Which will do no good unless they contact the bar owners and voice their displeasure.
Exactly. No good will come of this.
I was assaulted and I have to bend over and take it like a man.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156918 - 08/28/15 02:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says...
that one flies miles over my head
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: luvdemshrooms]
#22156939 - 08/28/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I would have picked up a knife on them, or a glass and started swinging. Cunts like that deserve to die, and have no right to touch you like that. You should call the Better Business Bureau or something. What the fuck? This makes me so mad. Thee men assaulted you. Weather they know you or not, the people you were with are cunts for not standing up, and they should all choke on their own puke
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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You gotta pick your fights. Small town, one can make enemies that way. Transphobia can easily escalate to serious violence.
Best to save that physical aggression for when your life, not your honor, is in danger. But Rose knows that.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156954 - 08/28/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Rose, my dear, I have said this before and I will say it again. Get the fuck out of Montana. And, really, nobody had an extra two dollars to lend you for a shitty beer?
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Asante] 1
#22156972 - 08/28/15 02:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm not a fan of picking battles, but then, I recognise that is an unwise path. You let people push you around once, then you are a target for life
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22156974 - 08/28/15 02:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I did not have the chance to ask.
I only found out why I was being booted after I was removed from the group. I was content to hang with the folks and not drink.
Trust me Zap, this got my wife ready to leave town like nothing else before it. We will make an exit soon.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156988 - 08/28/15 02:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said:
Trust me Zap, this got my wife ready to leave town like nothing else before it. We will make an exit soon.
Good! Very good.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22156990 - 08/28/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah get the fuck out. Sounds as redneck as my town
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22156991 - 08/28/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22156993 - 08/28/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Oh, and they are not exactly my friends. They work with my wife. We are friendly. They do not know me well enough to come to my defense when a bartender at a place they frequent gives me the 86.
I wish they had defended me but were I in their shoes and the bartender took on a new acquaintance of mine, one I had never had a drink with before, I probably would have done the same thing. Of course I would claim otherwise the next day on The Shroomery and brag about how I would have really taken them all on out of honor and whatnot... 
Fair enough, but for what it's worth I would have had your back better than that if I were out drinking with you and you were attacked with physical force like that, and I'm not just talking big. I don't go to dive bars with people I don't trust though, and I don't generally hang with other peoples' work friends, and I guess I wouldn't expect much from them if I did. But it sucks that nobody but your wife stood up to that bullshit. It's fucking lame, and I hope her work friends are still looking for their spines.
Just don't get stuck with a victims mindset. I agree you handled the situation in the best way possible, but don't be timid about fucking up somebody's day in the future. You're flat-out entitled to more basic respect than you were shown.
EDIT:
Quote:
Rose said: Trust me Zap, this got my wife ready to leave town like nothing else before it. We will make an exit soon.
Good. Nobody should have to grit their teeth and take bullshit like this. It's fucking disgusting.
Edited by Mr.GuessWork (08/28/15 02:48 PM)
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#22157025 - 08/28/15 02:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I wish I would have been there rose. Outnumbered doesn't mean anything to me. I would have went all sorts of northern redneck crazy on them
I hate injustice. Some people just need a good fucking face smash
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
specialpeopleclub said: I'm not a fan of picking battles, but then, I recognise that is an unwise path. You let people push you around once, then you are a target for life
Dude. I am trans. I am a target for life.
Look at BlindSophist! She fought back here, and it only made things worse for her. You NEVER let people see you cry or you're fucked. She will forever be blamed for standing up for herself. Why? Because people say they don't like how she did it. In reality, people just don't like THAT she did it.
The same shit happens in real life but with fists rather than words.
Three assailants become six. Six become twelve. And on and on...
Again, trust the old tranny on this.
There is no real handbook for what I live with on a daily basis. These things are learned the hard way.
Just because I will not fight this, does not mean I accept it as ok. I know what it was. I was assaulted because I am trans. That is not ok.
But logic is lost on brutes.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22157049 - 08/28/15 02:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Rose I like u but stop spreading bullshit about BS. She wasn't being noble and "standing up". Her sexuality aside, she acted like an ignorant clown deserving of her dislike
Stop assuming everything boils down to having a hate on for trans
In your case it's clear the sexuality played a role. But I'm getting sick of you comparing it to BS
-------------------- .
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#22157056 - 08/28/15 02:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I get private places can kick and keep who they want, as long as it isn't racial which is a stupid exception. Still, they had no right to put their hands on you. That is gross. They assaulted and humiliated you. God, I wish it was me. Try it, put your hands on me.
--------------------
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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You don't think they can kick your ass?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Quote:
I get private places can kick and keep who they want, as long as it isn't racial which is a stupid exception.
Dude, plenty of places you cant even get in if you're of color.
Racism isnt just made up, its a real thing.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157074 - 08/28/15 03:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Look at BlindSophist! She fought back here, and it only made things worse for her. You NEVER let people see you cry or you're fucked. She will forever be blamed for standing up for herself.
Except... no. BS was the worst enemy of BS.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 3
#22157075 - 08/28/15 03:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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you didn't know zap?
everyone on the shroomery is highly trained in mma and other disciplines of combat.
I think you have to be to join right?
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
#22157078 - 08/28/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It sure seems like the Shroomery has more than it's fair share of badasses.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#22157079 - 08/28/15 03:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, don't fuck with the bouncers. They do that job because they really need the money, but also because they can handle it. Messing with drunks while you're sober is one thing but choosing to and succeeding on a consistent basis is not something the average person can handle.
Rose you did the right thing. If anything you conducted yourself in a way that is positive for the trans community and you can live with that. A crazy, violent, bouncer beating trans lady isn't going to win over any bigots. Yanowatimsayin? Silver linings.
Edited by larry.fisherman (08/28/15 03:03 PM)
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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I bounced a bit when I'm younger. you nailed it one the one point....they are hurting for money. Most just are big but pussies. You work as a team.
Don't fuck with the small bouncers Tho. They usually are pretty tough
-------------------- .
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 3
#22157105 - 08/28/15 03:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Masked said: Rose I like u but stop spreading bullshit about BS. She wasn't being noble and "standing up". Her sexuality aside, she acted like an ignorant clown deserving of her dislike
Stop assuming everything boils down to having a hate on for trans
In your case it's clear the sexuality played a role. But I'm getting sick of you comparing it to BS
I do not get the pervasive Sophie hate. She was an advocate for her cause who didn't take any bullshit from the Montana morons that exist here. Rose has chosen to be less forceful but that doesn't mean Sophie was any less right or the morons were any less wrong. Any time you want to get into it with me about this I'm down. Nobody fucks with my girls.
--------------------
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
#22157108 - 08/28/15 03:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr.PhilCybin said: you didn't know zap?
everyone on the shroomery is highly trained in mma and other disciplines of combat.
I think you have to be to join right?
I do recall having to take a test where I was required to slay a mushroom stem.
--------------------
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22157117 - 08/28/15 03:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: You don't think they can kick your ass?
They may, who knows, but I'll cause damage, even if it's just one cunt who I bash with a mug. I'm not going to let someone walk on me though, fuck that. She had friends also, fucking bitches. I would also be sober. Not a drinker at all
--------------------
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22157119 - 08/28/15 03:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Masked said: I bounced a bit when I'm younger. you nailed it one the one point....they are hurting for money. Most just are big but pussies. You work as a team.
Don't fuck with the small bouncers Tho. They usually are pretty tough 
The only trained fighter I knew was a little guy about 5'8 and 140 pounds. He ruined football players. Bars like big guys not because they can fight but because they can intimidate and thus there are no fights. That guy was useless as a visual deterrant.
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Atreyu
Never Ending


Registered: 03/18/14
Posts: 4,083
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22157143 - 08/28/15 03:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I found this recently and thought it was worth sharing.
--------------------
つ ◕_◕ ༽つ N = R* • fp • ne • fl • fi • fc • L
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22157148 - 08/28/15 03:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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At my strongest, before transition, I would not have had a chance.
It was when my wife was threatened and I put up a defensive fight that I got my ass tossed rather than walked outside.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#22157155 - 08/28/15 03:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yep exactly. I'm similar natured. I'm useless as a visual deterrent though lol
And yeah I don't mind getting into it with u. I know u kiss the ass hard with them 
I have no problem with BS s sexuality. I've been pretty thorough in the other thread about my dislike of her as a person. Ignorant and rude, sweeping generalizations....and if u don't agree with her...She would pull the sexuality card. Bad form. Annoying as hell to me. But like I said in the other thread, she didn't always used to be like that. I enjoyed her posting couple years ago. Perhaps the hate mob affected her, but that's no excuse to me. Like I tried to say in modest words at the beginning...good riddance. Hopefully when she comes back she will have chilled out
-------------------- .
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22157176 - 08/28/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
Masked said: Rose I like u but stop spreading bullshit about BS. She wasn't being noble and "standing up". Her sexuality aside, she acted like an ignorant clown deserving of her dislike
Stop assuming everything boils down to having a hate on for trans
In your case it's clear the sexuality played a role. But I'm getting sick of you comparing it to BS
I do not get the pervasive Sophie hate. She was an advocate for her cause who didn't take any bullshit from the Montana morons that exist here. Rose has chosen to be less forceful but that doesn't mean Sophie was any less right or the morons were any less wrong. Any time you want to get into it with me about this I'm down. Nobody fucks with my girls.
zap I love ya man, but you gotta stop blindly defending girls here in the name of chivalry.
I'm not gonna derail this thread and turn it into yet another, "lets debate about how great of a person BS was thread." but she was not the martyr you're making her out to be.
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Atreyu]
#22157177 - 08/28/15 03:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Atreyu said: I found this recently and thought it was worth sharing.
That is SO on point!
Really, I hate the idea of surgery and I like much of my male existence.
I may have to get facial feminization surgery some day. Not because I want to look more female for me, but so others see me as female and leave me the fuck alone. How fucked up is that?
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157188 - 08/28/15 03:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Trust me Zap, this got my wife ready to leave town like nothing else before it. We will make an exit soon.
Sad but definitely a smart call.
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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157198 - 08/28/15 03:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's always better to be the wolf then the sheep. Bullies prey on the weak because it feels good.
I remember when I was a friendly, passive, short little kid getting held down and beaten, put in choke holds by grown adults.
I was very angry and afraid. Eventually I became 6'3 and strong but in my subconscious was still that abused child sitting there like a loaded gun.
The abused often becomes the abuser.
Thankfully broke the cycle ensuring I would never become my enemy.
They don't always benefit but at a certain time and place psyches can be everything you need.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Love_spirit]
#22157208 - 08/28/15 03:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just remember, there are many ways to be a wolf. Fighting bouncers like Chuck Norris when you are really Peter Dinklage is not smart. It could have been MUCH worse than it was.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157216 - 08/28/15 03:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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had to google peter dinnklage.
i lol'ed
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157243 - 08/28/15 03:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Revenge is a dish best served cold.
I've been using that one for years. The best part is watching people have to stop and think about it.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22157252 - 08/28/15 03:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm sorry to hear that Rose. That's very fucked up.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: nicechrisman]
#22157274 - 08/28/15 03:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks and yes. Yes it was.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157288 - 08/28/15 03:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: At my strongest, before transition, I would not have had a chance.
It was when my wife was threatened that I got my ass tossed rather than walked outside.
The only thing I would have done differently is that I would have forced them to use words to explain what was going on sooner in the confrontation. My situation's different from yours though, since I look like a normal white guy.
In public places like dive bars I'm overtly well-mannered, and I'm more situationally aware than usual. I'd have seen those guys coming and made eye contact with them while they approached, and I'd have started the conversation before they got close enough to touch me. Having the initiative shows that you've got some control over the situation and it makes it clear that you're not so easy a target that they can approach without consideration. I'm always thinking with violence in my subconscious at those kind of places, and I generally avoid hanging out at bars as a result. I can't really relax at bars. Besides, any party where I can't light up a joint is a party I don't want to be at.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
#22157305 - 08/28/15 03:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Easy to say. Harder to do. My back was turned to them. I had no reason to expect what was coming. They had planned this out and caught me completely unawares.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Mr.PhilCybin] 1
#22157325 - 08/28/15 04:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mr.PhilCybin said:
Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
Masked said: Rose I like u but stop spreading bullshit about BS. She wasn't being noble and "standing up". Her sexuality aside, she acted like an ignorant clown deserving of her dislike
Stop assuming everything boils down to having a hate on for trans
In your case it's clear the sexuality played a role. But I'm getting sick of you comparing it to BS
I do not get the pervasive Sophie hate. She was an advocate for her cause who didn't take any bullshit from the Montana morons that exist here. Rose has chosen to be less forceful but that doesn't mean Sophie was any less right or the morons were any less wrong. Any time you want to get into it with me about this I'm down. Nobody fucks with my girls.
zap I love ya man, but you gotta stop blindly defending girls here in the name of chivalry.
I'm not gonna derail this thread and turn it into yet another, "lets debate about how great of a person BS was thread." but she was not the martyr you're making her out to be.
I don't blindly defend them. Me and Sophie (and Rose) have gone at it hammer and tongs about liberalism but I support them 100% in re the trans thing. I understand the general abuse the unconvential have to put up with. Even here which makes me sad. Rose getting tossed from a redneck Montana bar is not a surprise. The abuse here is.
Sophie timed out because real life is going to be too busy for her. She is not going to school for bullshit. It is serious studies.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22157351 - 08/28/15 04:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Studies she could not keep her mind on before transition.
This shit is bad. I would not wish being trans on my enemies. I would have killed myself by now, had I not transitioned. My odds are better with the bigots.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157352 - 08/28/15 04:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Easy to say. Harder to do. My back was turned to them. I had no reason to expect what was coming. They had planned this out and caught me completely unawares.
Ya. They took advantage of your comfort. It's what asshole bullies do. Their formula for being dicks hasn't changed much since they discovered it in gradeschool. There's nothing you can really do to protect yourself from it if you want to enjoy yourself freely. I must have been traumatized earlier in life or something like that to have the attitude I do. I really hate bars in particular. If I want to relax and have a drink, I'll either do it alone or with friends only (and the people they have with them). Generally, if I'm not comfortable with the idea of smoking a joint in a place, I won't have more than one or two drinks there before I leave. The world is a fucked up place in lots of way, and I'm hesitant to trust it.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157373 - 08/28/15 04:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Same shit hAppens with religion or folks who uphold certain kinds of beliefs. u believe them so much and know them to be true yet no one really believes you.
In cases like these u either become a suicide bomber or u learn to be tolerant with those who oppose u. U keep trying to convince folks of what u believe to be true expect to be ridiculed. It's all part of the game, what r u gonna do, it's a sick n twisted world out there.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zZZz]
#22157398 - 08/28/15 04:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Or you don't go to a dive bar in Montana. You know what? I aint going to a dive bar in Bed Stuy.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zZZz]
#22157409 - 08/28/15 04:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yup.
And even my most tolerant friends are critical of me for not being trans the way they imagine I should.
Things my supporters are critical of:
When I stand up for myself. When I do not stand up for myself. My appearance. My body. My desire to lop my dick off. That I have not yet had the surgery. Dressing like a guy. Dressing like a woman. My voice. My walk. My posture. When I am too feminine. When I am too masculine. When I don't go out and live my life. When I do go out and live my life. ... etc.
Even every supporter thinks they are an expert in my transition.
It can be quite maddening.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Stonehenge
Alt Center


Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 14,850
Loc: S.E.
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157435 - 08/28/15 04:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I know this will not be a popular viewpoint but what have you done to provoke all this negativity? Yeah, I know you will say "nothing" but I've known gay people who were totally out as well as transvestites and they did not have those troubles. BS constantly provoked people on the boards, I haven't seen you do that so I don't know but there must be some reason.
-------------------- “A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.” (attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville political philosopher Circa 1835) Trade list http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18047755
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157448 - 08/28/15 04:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Some areas of the country are not ready for anything other then what they grew up with. I hope when you relocate it is to a more populous area preferable on either coast.
Sorry they even your closer friends can't understand that you are just being yourself not trying to fit into their idea of what you should be.
Feel better, much love.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157468 - 08/28/15 04:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am not critical of you for your voice because I know you can't do anything about it but I know it is going to be an issue.
I think that given your circumstances you really can't stand up for yourself IRL much. Maybe in another town. I am rather disappointed with a lot of members here. I'm a diehard conservative but you and Sophie and Macey don't have a bigger supprter than me
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
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Loc: Mitten
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157474 - 08/28/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Anyone who doesn't stand up for themselves deserves criticism, but sometimes there is no good retaliation and everything is just awful.
Maybe I'm not super lib, but when one goes getting their dick removes or a penis made from their toe, that is a mental something. I am tempted to say disorder, but I don't know. The genitals don't look right. I'm just me, but I would rather be a chick with a dick if I transitioned. I get not being born how you see yourself, I don't think many people are. Gender seems to be a big ont though, where people don't cope being given the wrong one. Wait five years, we will be growing vaginas and dicks on rats or something
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Stonehenge]
#22157476 - 08/28/15 04:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have the nerve to be different.
And you know, your friends have likely experienced similar shit at certain times in life, but like me, they stay quiet about it. It is not like I will be bragging about last night on Facebook. I will put it behind me ASAP.
The other thing? I am on female hormones.
Everybody is high on hormones. But men and women are on vastly different drugs. I have as much experience with estrogen as a thirteen year old girl. How many thirteen year old girls do you know that don't have vastly sporadic emotions? I have the advantage of maturity but I do not yet have a lot of experience with this new high.
But mostly, people just want to prove their dominance, and it pisses them off that I am not anyone's pushover. My intelligent brain sometimes just makes people want to punch it.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157493 - 08/28/15 04:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Yup.
And even my most tolerant friends are critical of me for not being trans the way they imagine I should.
Things my supporters are critical of:
When I stand up for myself. When I do not stand up for myself. My appearance. My body. My desire to lop my dick off. That I have not yet had the surgery. Dressing like a guy. Dressing like a woman. My voice. My walk. My posture. When I am too feminine. When I am too masculine. When I don't go out and live my life. When I do go out and live my life. ... etc.
Even every supporter thinks they are an expert in my transition.
It can be quite maddening.
Friends do that to normal people too, but not with those particular issues usually. If they didn't try to help you with your life, then they'd feel helpless. I'b be interested to see how you answer all those questions, honestly. It's stuff I've barely thought about at best. It's got to be interesting to be a shade of grey in a role that everybody expects to be strictly black or white. for fighting the good fight, even if you get your ass beat down and humiliated in the process.
Have you ever considered taking any martial arts classes? I feel like you might have some pent up desire to both commit and better understand acts of violence.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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U should work out and get ripped op. Like Macey, I'll bet she's got some muscle on her and apparently she's like 6ft something, I'll bet no one fucks with her.
Take some defence classes or something, maybe nicechrisman can give u few pointers in the arts of aikido, haahyaaa!
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
specialpeopleclub said: Anyone who doesn't stand up for themselves deserves criticism, but sometimes there is no good retaliation and everything is just awful.
Maybe I'm not super lib, but when one goes getting their dick removes or a penis made from their toe, that is a mental something. I am tempted to say disorder, but I don't know. The genitals don't look right. I'm just me, but I would rather be a chick with a dick if I transitioned. I get not being born how you see yourself, I don't think many people are. Gender seems to be a big ont though, where people don't cope being given the wrong one. Wait five years, we will be growing vaginas and dicks on rats or something
Being trans is not a Liberal thing. Trans people just don't tend to side with the party that wishes to oppress them.
Being trans is not technically a mental disorder. Partly because it is not treatable mentally.
There is no doubt there is an incongruity between my brain and my body, but there is no known way to make my brain feel male.
In fact, my brain is quite sound. Living with these circumstances, I would challenge anyone to stay more sane than I have.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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specialpeopleclub



Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157535 - 08/28/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I said my view on the surgery is less then liberal as it is now. I completely support trans people, even if they make that choice, it is just not something that screams 'mental health' when you get your cock inverted, when you could have just tucked it away and done everything else like hormones and facial surgery. I guess some people are happy like that
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22157538 - 08/28/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your assumption is that I don't support their trans. I sure as hell do. Which is why this story of roses hurts and Infuriates me
And even tho I think BS is an annoying ass, Id be just as saddened had she shared this story
Nice try tho
-------------------- .
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22157585 - 08/28/15 05:11 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said:
In fact, my brain is quite sound.
I can attest to this
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#22157634 - 08/28/15 05:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry it happened to you. I too know the feeling of being "unique" in a small town. Try being the only spanish man in a small redneck town. Long story short it cost me over 4000 dollars and a long time before my life got on track again. Just finished my first week of college now!!!!
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157690 - 08/28/15 05:36 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm glad it was no worse than it was, Rose. But this still makes me feel terrible.
Does humanity ever really grow? Or do they just find new people to pick on and different ways to pick on them?
Children. All of them.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22157769 - 08/28/15 06:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's awful rose. People are pretty fucked up, but maybe it's a good thing that they showed you that they aren't really people you would ever want to spend time with anywhere. I know that sounds fucked up. They arent people you want to be hanging around tho but that shouldnt have happened.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: 404]
#22157808 - 08/28/15 06:13 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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As for martial arts, yes I have studied.
I am really good at taking a punch and falling well. I am also fairly skilled at not escating a situation. It was when they brought my wife into the mix that I lost my cool and held firm. That was a mistake tactically. It was the right thing honorably.
Martial arts training really kept me from doing something stupid last night. It kept me from being hurt even worse than I was.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
specialpeopleclub said: I said my view on the surgery is less then liberal as it is now. I completely support trans people, even if they make that choice, it is just not something that screams 'mental health' when you get your cock inverted, when you could have just tucked it away and done everything else like hormones and facial surgery. I guess some people are happy like that
Then you don't get it. I don't blame you. I probably wouldn't either were I not trans. It is a mind fuck from your side and one from mine.
Scientifically, male and female brains have slight physical differences and trans people are born with a brain that does not match the body. One part of me was always female. My damn grey matter.
I can go into the science, research, theories and shit if you are interested... but I will spare both of us unless you tell me you want more info.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 3
#22158088 - 08/28/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said:
Martial arts training really kept me from doing something stupid last night. It kept me from being hurt even worse than I was.
This is something most people do not understand. A huge part of the training is in restraint and I don't mean knot tying. Avoid if at all possible. Only act under extreme duress.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22158111 - 08/28/15 07:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Bingo.
This was not a life or death situation but one wrong aggressive move from me could have turned it that way.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 2
#22158133 - 08/28/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: Bingo.
If I fight this, I become BS in the eyes of my community. Trans people who fight back get run through the ringer by assholes... or worse.
I've always said it... We in the LGB community just tore forward like a bull, but no one ever made sure our T family kept up with us.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that horse shit.
--------------------
<-- Clicky Clicky
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Sadly I will have to say that if she doesn't get the fuck out of Mantana she will continue to have to deal with it if she goes to bars. It is not exactly an enlightened part of the country. Rose, get the fuck out of there. You need to be on a coast or in a big city. I hate to say it but flyover country is not likely to be welcoming.
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22158156 - 08/28/15 07:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said: Sadly I will have to say that if she doesn't get the fuck out of Mantana she will continue to have to deal with it if she goes to bars. It is not exactly an enlightened part of the country. Rose, get the fuck out of there. You need to be on a coast or in a big city. I hate to say it but flyover country is not likely to be welcoming.
truth. and who wants to live in constant fear
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22158162 - 08/28/15 07:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What do you practice?
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: 404] 1
#22158306 - 08/28/15 08:28 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Theatre.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22158394 - 08/28/15 08:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Really though, a few years of tai chi, then shing yi and Bagua. I like the old Chineese stuff coded in Zen teachings.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22159277 - 08/29/15 04:13 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: This, "You're not really a woman mentality" is killing us in real life.
I'll start by saying I have no qualms with anyone doing anything that they'd like as long as it doesn't involve mucking up someone else's life.
But what does someone's opinion of whether they truly consider a trans person their intended sex have to do with this assault or being assaulted in general?
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
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Webster10
Up like Trump


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22159341 - 08/29/15 06:04 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22159378 - 08/29/15 06:38 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Jesus Christ, Rose!  I'm glad you and yours are okay. Fucking cave dwellers, that's what they are.
And as you can see on this website, there is still a long way to go.
"Do what you want, but people who are trans don't scream mental health to me." Sounds like: "I'm not racist, but..."
Bunch of backwards ass morons.
Quote:
DirdyD said:
[...]
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
Get this man a brainscan, I think he has cancer in his brain.
Again, Rose, seriously, this is fucked up. This is some Syria level shit, know what I'm saying? Here, another hug smiley:
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Edited by Turtletotem (08/29/15 06:39 AM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem] 1
#22160002 - 08/29/15 10:10 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks for the big smiley.
Someone earlier asked what I am doing differently now than before because I must be doing something wrong to bring this all on myself.
I was an outspoken Irish man. Now I am an outspoken Irish tran.
I used to be a dick with a passion for alcohol. Now I am nicer and I drink far, far less... and boobs!
Boobs are cool. I digress...
The common tie between all the assaults these past two years? Alcohol... and men. They don't mix very well with a trans person. On a couple of these occasions I was drinking too. On a couple, I was not... or this most recent, I was not served because I was short a dollar.
Avoiding drunks in this town is like avoiding air. Impossible. This shit also happened in Honolulu a few times. Another town where there is a lot of drinking that spills outside to the streets.
I typically avoid these situations as best I can and usually drink at home if and when I do drink. I figured I was safe in a group of eight.
The first couple times this happened, I learned the hard way how I now have the metabolism of a woman and I can't keep up with men. I also learned that I could no longer walk alone in certain parts of town. It took many months to learn to curb my alcohol intake. Avoiding certain areas was easy in comparison.
Really though, some people are just bigoted assholes who rush to judgment. They would rather talk with their fists than have a discussion. Especially when they drink. If I too am drinking, it fucks with my reaction time.
Transition does not come with a handbook. Lessons are learned the hard way.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22160018 - 08/29/15 10:16 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
DirdyD said:
Quote:
Rose said: This, "You're not really a woman mentality" is killing us in real life.
I'll start by saying I have no qualms with anyone doing anything that they'd like as long as it doesn't involve mucking up someone else's life.
But what does someone's opinion of whether they truly consider a trans person their intended sex have to do with this assault or being assaulted in general?
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
There are places that can help you learn to read better. Perhaps you could find one and then give this discussion another look.
Life is hard? No shit. I have been living it for 40 years. I have seen shit that would blow your mind. Few on this website have seen as many people killed as I have.
What I am talking about is how people are now quick to respond to me with their fists. It is a noticeable change.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22160633 - 08/29/15 12:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well u know what they say, what comes around goes around.
U got modded out irl son
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22160688 - 08/29/15 01:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ha ha. Just pokin
Sorry rose. People are assholes. I only read a few pages here. And admittedly I'm very high. But i just wanted to wish you pleasant thoughts Have you considered moving to a city where people are more accepting?
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zZZz]
#22160707 - 08/29/15 01:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hahaha!
That is one way of saying it.
I am not particularly feminine. It fucks with people's expectations. Sometimes, tiny brains get hurt in my presence. I certainly can't afford any surgery that would help me fit in better and I am not sure I would want it even if I could.
I just have to keep living and doing my thing... whilst learning what situations now pose a larger danger than before.
The VAST majority of people are accepting or at least, tolerant. Even here. I have never been attacked by a smart person. It is stupid that I have to watch for.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22160714 - 08/29/15 01:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
azur said:

Ha ha. Just pokin
Sorry rose. People are assholes. I only read a few pages here. And admittedly I'm very high. But i just wanted to wish you pleasant thoughts Have you considered moving to a city where people are more accepting?
We are just stuck in buttfuck Hicksville for a little while longer while we finalize our bankruptcy. We will be moving to the PNW eventually.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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DirdyD


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22163769 - 08/30/15 08:39 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said:
Quote:
DirdyD said:
Quote:
Rose said: This, "You're not really a woman mentality" is killing us in real life.
I'll start by saying I have no qualms with anyone doing anything that they'd like as long as it doesn't involve mucking up someone else's life.
But what does someone's opinion of whether they truly consider a trans person their intended sex have to do with this assault or being assaulted in general?
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
There are places that can help you learn to read better. Perhaps you could find one and then give this discussion another look.
Life is hard? No shit. I have been living it for 40 years. I have seen shit that would blow your mind. Few on this website have seen as many people killed as I have.
What I am talking about is how people are now quick to respond to me with their fists. It is a noticeable change.
or.. if i'm mistaken you could just tell me how instead of being an ass as you simultaneously complain about others doing the same.
chill with the aggressiveness. I'm not ever trying to have an argument. Not my bag. But I'm seeing how you getting your butt kicked makes sense after reading your response. Certainly need to be able to back a badass mind frame up with actually being a badass. Seems like you've got a sharp tongue but lack the physical capability to counter the physical attack talking such trash would likely bring IRL. I'd work on that.
Edited by DirdyD (08/30/15 08:54 AM)
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22163828 - 08/30/15 09:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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"Talking trash?"
Anybody who responds to speech with violence is a neanderthal retard. Do you count yourself as one?
Also don't go to a bar for a drink without money.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22163868 - 08/30/15 09:12 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nah. Violence is usually a sign of low intelligence and/or inebriation. Defense is a different story. I was referencing his/her response to my post. That trash talk.
If Rose would use that sort of language IRL, he/she would have a hell of a time with the ass whooping that would likely occur, given who he/she said it to.
Side note: If a male that has/ is transitioning to a female but still looks like a male expects everyone to treat them as a woman because that's what he/she prefers, that's just idiocy. If you're in the company of dudes in an environment like a bar, you really should be aware of what the dynamic of the environment is, not what you think it should be. It's almost like jumping in the ocean and expecting not to get wet.
To expect people to be aware and educated in the intricacies and subtleties of trans life and simultaneously hold your opinion on things is ridiculous. I'm a straight male and I never expect the same because that is completely illogical. You're setting yourself up for failure, which often manifests in physical altercations. If you lack the testosterone, muscle and/or fighting skill to defend yourself, you're asking for some real trouble.
Sorta the same thing with you, ZIG. Talk that sort of trash to the wrong person IRL, and given your age you're likely to be on the losing end. But this is the internet and people are very comfortable with writing checks they couldn't cash IRL.
Edited by DirdyD (08/30/15 09:18 AM)
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Apostle
Philanthropist



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22163902 - 08/30/15 09:23 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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This story is heartwarming.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22163906 - 08/30/15 09:24 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Given my age? Mary, I've been in construction for 40 years. I have never been afraid of anybody. I'm still not. People do not fuck with me.
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: nicechrisman]
#22163936 - 08/30/15 09:32 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: I'm sorry to hear that Rose. That's very fucked up.
Fucking bigots..
This is why i usually dont ever go to bars to many rooster cocks who are drunk and wanna start shit Theres times when you fight, and theres times when you walk or get the fuck out of the area
Fuck those assailants, there negative energy will come back to bite there ass 10x
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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azur
God of Fuck



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 2
#22163944 - 08/30/15 09:33 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Construction for 40 years? Yea, I'd say your body is toast. Sit back down in your rocking chair old man
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod] 1
#22163961 - 08/30/15 09:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Always exceptions to the rule. But 40 years in construction could also be a bad thing. I spent a number of years in the military, trained hand to hand and weapons use to the highest order, 32 y/o and I talk less trash than most anyone I know. Thats how it usually works though. Certified killer and badass if there ever was such a thing. You'd never know it though because I'm the nicest guy youre likely to ever meet. Not much to prove these days.
Internet does strange things to people.
Edited by DirdyD (08/30/15 09:39 AM)
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22163978 - 08/30/15 09:41 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
DirdyD said: Always exceptions to the rule. But 40 years in construction could also be a bad thing. I spent a number of years in the military, trained hand to hand and weapons use to the highest order, 32 y/o and I talk less trash than most anyone I know. Thats how it usually works though. Certified killer and badass if there ever was such a thing. You'd never know it though because I'm the nicest guy youre likely to ever meet. Not much to prove these days.
Internet does strange things to people.
-------------------- .
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Detached
You know where...


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked] 1
#22163986 - 08/30/15 09:43 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I blame it on ordering a PBR... The incident wouldn't have escalated if a Lemon Drop was ordered.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22163991 - 08/30/15 09:45 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
azur said: Construction for 40 years? Yea, I'd say your body is toast. Sit back down in your rocking chair old man
I'm still doing it.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Posts: 81,741
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Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Detached]
#22163998 - 08/30/15 09:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Detached said: I blame it on ordering a PBR... The incident wouldn't have escalated if a Lemon Drop was ordered.
Shoulda ordered a Bud. PBR is Brooklyn hipster beer.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164004 - 08/30/15 09:48 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
DirdyD said: Always exceptions to the rule. But 40 years in construction could also be a bad thing. I spent a number of years in the military, trained hand to hand and weapons use to the highest order, 32 y/o and I talk less trash than most anyone I know. Thats how it usually works though. Certified killer and badass if there ever was such a thing. You'd never know it though because I'm the nicest guy youre likely to ever meet. Not much to prove these days.
Internet does strange things to people.
Not only have I never been in a bar fight I've never even seen one. People don't fuck with me.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22164033 - 08/30/15 09:55 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Same here, 'cept that one time. Wouldnt call that a fight and its a long story nobody wants to hear.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22164040 - 08/30/15 09:57 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
DirdyD said:
Quote:
Rose said:
Quote:
DirdyD said:
Quote:
Rose said: This, "You're not really a woman mentality" is killing us in real life.
I'll start by saying I have no qualms with anyone doing anything that they'd like as long as it doesn't involve mucking up someone else's life.
But what does someone's opinion of whether they truly consider a trans person their intended sex have to do with this assault or being assaulted in general?
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
There are places that can help you learn to read better. Perhaps you could find one and then give this discussion another look.
Life is hard? No shit. I have been living it for 40 years. I have seen shit that would blow your mind. Few on this website have seen as many people killed as I have.
What I am talking about is how people are now quick to respond to me with their fists. It is a noticeable change.
or.. if i'm mistaken you could just tell me how instead of being an ass as you simultaneously complain about others doing the same.
chill with the aggressiveness. I'm not ever trying to have an argument. Not my bag. But I'm seeing how you getting your butt kicked makes sense after reading your response. Certainly need to be able to back a badass mind frame up with actually being a badass. Seems like you've got a sharp tongue but lack the physical capability to counter the physical attack talking such trash would likely bring IRL. I'd work on that.
Wouldn't call that one line of sarcasm "talking trash"... but it was well deserved since you seem woefully ignorant of what actually happened. It wasn't a "life is hard" moment. It was a "there are still intolerant assholes out there that will use physical violence to assert their intolerance" moment.
Your post reeks of a complete lack of sympathy or even basic understanding. So you deserved the "trash talk".
you're so self-righteous and yet you've said some of the most insensitive shit in this thread.
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Free time is the only time
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22164046 - 08/30/15 10:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't see anything wrong with what dirtyd said. People suck. That's all. And you should all know that by now.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164051 - 08/30/15 10:02 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
azur said: I don't see anything wrong with what dirtyd said. People suck. That's all. And you should all know that by now.
Yeah there's nothing wrong with trivializing an evident problem with what is the equivalent of racism and the hate crimes that it generates.
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Free time is the only time
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#22164066 - 08/30/15 10:07 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh my god. Cry me a river. Get a life and then you'll have your own real issues. OP lives in a shitty little hick town. What happened is to be expected. Some mentalities cannot be changed. So be prepared for it. Can a cowboy walk into a black bar in the hood and not expect trouble? It goes all ways girl.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164085 - 08/30/15 10:13 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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That's a fair point. I agree OP should find another place to live.
Still not cool to just say "it happens, get over it." Mentalities do change. On the grand scale they've changed alot in the last 40, 50 years. But they didn't change by people saying "oh well that's just how things are." Problems don't change if they don't get addressed.
Also... a cowboy in the hood is not an appropriate comparison. I'd be surprised if he grew up in the hood for 1 and for 2 he could easily just change his clothes.
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Free time is the only time
Edited by CookieCrumbs (08/30/15 10:16 AM)
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164086 - 08/30/15 10:13 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Exactly, Azur.
Only you can be prepared. Nobody can do it for you and just because it ain't right sure as hell doesn't mean it wont happen.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: CookieCrumbs] 1
#22164121 - 08/30/15 10:24 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: That's a fair point. I agree OP should find another place to live.
Still not cool to just say "it happens, get over it." Mentalities do change. On the grand scale they've changed alot in the last 40, 50 years. But they didn't change by people saying "oh well that's just how things are." Problems don't change if they don't get addressed.
Also... a cowboy in the hood is not an appropriate comparison. I'd be surprised if he grew up in the hood for 1 and for 2 he could easily just change his clothes.
Cowboy is perfect comparison. Ok, let's say a black cowboy who grew up in the hood returned home and went to the hood bar, he's going to have problems. OP could have changed clothes too.
Mentalities in small towns DON'T change.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164149 - 08/30/15 10:30 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Bout a year ago this girl yelled at me, "My friend wants to fuck you in the ass with a hair brush". Small hick town WalMart parking lot. Guess in their eyes I hold myself a bit gayish? Her friend was a girl.
Ya get all sorts of weird shit in these places.
Edited by DirdyD (08/30/15 10:32 AM)
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Detached
You know where...


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164154 - 08/30/15 10:31 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Walmart is a magical place.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164198 - 08/30/15 10:42 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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--------------------
Free time is the only time
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22164243 - 08/30/15 10:53 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Indeed Walmart is magical.
Sorry DirdyD for hurting your feelings by pointing out your apparent inability to comprehend what you read. I am sure I would have been nicer to you had you done the same for me.
Zap, when all they had was bad beer and well drinks, I went for the bad beer. PBR is far from good. It isn't like I went, "Oh, yay! They have PBR!!!"
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164258 - 08/30/15 10:58 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
azur said: Mentalities in small towns DON'T change.
But this caveman mentality isn't just in small towns. Its in major metro areas too. I live in a pretty liberal metro area and have many trans friends. They don't feel comfortable outside of the gay bars, and even have to face this shit sometimes in the gay bar.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164261 - 08/30/15 11:00 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Certainly didn't hurt my feelings. Annoy, yes. There's a slight difference.
When did I not do that for you prior to your response to my first post? You're not making any sense.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
ShroomerInTheRye said:
Quote:
azur said: Mentalities in small towns DON'T change.
But this caveman mentality isn't just in small towns. Its in major metro areas too. I live in a pretty liberal metro area and have many trans friends. They don't feel comfortable outside of the gay bars, and even have to face this shit sometimes in the gay bar.
Outside gay bars can SUCK, because people walking by sure know what the place is and they often jump to conclusions. I have certainly had my share of stink eye and adversity outside such establishments... which sucks for a smoker like me. So, typically I smoke with friends.
I have rarely seen attitude from inside such a place and indeed, I do not get hit on and am free to use whatever restroom I choose.
I have encountered much adversity from the online LGBT community however, but it pales in comparison to what I see outside of it.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164395 - 08/30/15 11:36 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How is she not making any sense? Rose was assaulted for a trivial reason, and if this is a pattern I don't think it is that much of a stretch to just trust her in that people are eager to look for opportunities to antagonize her. Now you're coming in, picking up on some trivial aspect that you think invalidates what she says, and doing what now?
That's shitty Rose. It sounds like you did everything you could. I don't think you're crazy to think that there is more going on here than a grudge over non-payment. Especially if you're there with a party of other paying customers, that's just totally uncalled for in my book.
I'd say write them a dirty review on Yelp, but I don't think that really works with dive bars Sadly that's the type of establishment that is likely to thrive where ignorance does also.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: moonrockmushy]
#22164432 - 08/30/15 11:46 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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No. That isnt at all what I was attempting to do. I swear, people wish you were saying some horrible thing just so they can vent some rediculous opinion. Please continue to put words in my mouth and thoughts in my head.
Again, no. I was asking about something specific. And I wasnt saying Rose wasnt making sense with the OP. I was saying her last response didn't make sense. Was not trying to discredit her take on the situation.
I've never not given anyone a chance to clarify. Thats a dick move and I'm not a dick, as much as people would love to make me out to be. No nonsense, yes. Dick, no.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164453 - 08/30/15 11:52 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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And she's not saying that anyone with a problem with trans women is necessarily violent, that is your words in her mouth.
You don't need to clarify, it would probably be better if you just dropped it because this isn't really the place to talk about how some people who disagree with the idea that people can choose to identify their own gender are actually not violent. We all know that, but there is a common thread of hatred that creates an environment where trans people are 2nd class citizens, which is very unshroomy behavior.
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22164467 - 08/30/15 11:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Damn reading this story made me sad and disgusted at what assholes people can be. Sorry that kind of shit happens to you for no good reason
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD]
#22164470 - 08/30/15 11:54 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dirdy,
I was just giving you a little shit because you made some claims that were easily refuted had you read the damn thread before replying. You got a little butthurt over my comment. You will live.
It is clear you are not in full melt mode here. You are making a big thing out of a small one though.
You just tried to put some blame on me in a way I had already shown to be inaccurate. Then you got defensive when I stood up for myself.
I know admitting you are wrong on the internet is a hard thing to do so I won't expect you to do it.
Really though, I am not mad at you or anything. Just learn to take a little chiding. It beats having to take a punch.
I will go back to your post in question and qive it a less snarky reply, ok?
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22164521 - 08/30/15 12:04 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
DirdyD said:
Quote:
Rose said: This, "You're not really a woman mentality" is killing us in real life.
I'll start by saying I have no qualms with anyone doing anything that they'd like as long as it doesn't involve mucking up someone else's life.
But what does someone's opinion of whether they truly consider a trans person their intended sex have to do with this assault or being assaulted in general?
You're not saying that just because someone doesn't agree that you're truly a female, it automatically makes them violent and associated with the folks that roughed you up, are yah?
Sorry about what happened. Life is hard, no matter who you are.
If you say you have no qualms... that is when I prepare myself for you to list some qualms. I was not disappointed.
In my first post I detailed why being a trans woman can lead to trouble. People who consider me to still be male treat me like a man. They feel they still have the right to rough me up. But they didn't do this to me when they saw me as a man. Only now that they see me as trans.
Case and point? They never laid a finger on my screaming wife. She was treated like a woman.
They never asked me to leave before grabbing me and forcing me away from my group. They likely would not have done that to a person they considered a woman or even a man. Not while they were on the clock at least.
I never said people are automatically violent towards me if they don't believe I am female.
In fact, I don't entirely believe I am female. I have WAY more experience as a male. I am not one to argue about the merits of my legitimacy as a woman, unlike certain other trans Shroomerites. All I know is I am far from the man I once was. I have a woman's musculature and that makes any violent male act against me unfair.
Life is hard for everyone? No shit. It is also, harder in certain ways after transition than it was before. Trust me. I know.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164614 - 08/30/15 12:30 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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No. How many times do I need to say this until you actually believe me? Anyways, but Rose, if youre the type to use terms like "melt" and "butthurt" in interactions on the web, there really isnt much else to say.
Other than hopeless. Y'all are immature, hopeless internet people and I honestly don't feel bad for the shit you get yourselves into IRL. A little bit of common sense and perspective goes a very long way. I dont suggest you take the illogic that flies online into your daily life.
Oh, and the nature of a question is one that answers can be made. And there's no damn way I'm reading through 7 pages of crappy net commentary just to reference the OP. That isnt so hard to understand, is it? I'd hope neither is the fact that elaborating on points isnt a sign of "melting", but actual elaboration. But I'm pretty sure y'all know this, but you'd rather act like middle schoolers.
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 4
#22164651 - 08/30/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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hahah dirty dan is melting his buthrt ass off
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Sheekle] 1
#22164664 - 08/30/15 12:40 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Like a cheap candle.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164682 - 08/30/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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How did this go from a "woe is me" to an attack on dirtyd. You're so obsessed with the subject of the op that your vision is clouded. You should take few breaths and start over. You should both start over with no reservations
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: DirdyD] 1
#22164683 - 08/30/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You act pompous and above the rest. Every topic you post in is the same boring drivel...
"I'm so much more mature, so much better able to handle life. I'm tough. A trained killer. But I'm the nicest guy. I'm a cut above the rest"
That essentially encapsulates your attitude towards everyone lately. You are a 32 year old ex-jar head who grows shrooms. Give your head a shake and stop acting like you have such a big chip on your shoulder
You post here the same as the rest of us
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Sheekle]
#22164692 - 08/30/15 12:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Clearly. Even taking the time to answer his redundant points proved worthless. At least I know better than to waste my time on his posts now.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22164719 - 08/30/15 12:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dirtyd, hit me in the journal tonight. These turds can't see the forest for the trees. Again rose. I am sorry that happened to you. While i sat it us what it is, that doesn't mean i agree. Good luck As for the rest of you crybaby pubbers, grow the fuck Up. Rose can defend herself. No attack on dirtyd was warranted. I'm going to play in the rain with my boys. Have a great day!
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164726 - 08/30/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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buthrt
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164731 - 08/30/15 12:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22164742 - 08/30/15 12:57 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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She said he's not melting, but he seems intent on proving her wrong.
The fact that DD is accusing others of being oversensitive and embedded in internet culture in this context belies the implication that he is above all this.
The big deal is the unfair abuse that happened, which was not her fault. To try to say that the big deal is the fact that she went in a bar expecting not to be treated like that is just ridiculous.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: moonrockmushy]
#22164799 - 08/30/15 01:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Bingo.
Even if I have to take some hits, the one who punches is to blame. I was assaulted by bar staff in front of everybody. But they trusted their staff more than me. In fact, I never had a chance to make a defense.
Assault is a loaded word and it sounds much worse than it was in this case, but I did have hands forcefully laid on me without the option to leave on my own terms first. I was assaulted, scabs and bruises to show for it. Had I been told to leave and refused, they would have been within their rights to do what they did. They fucked up. They are lucky I am not in a litigious mood.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164808 - 08/30/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stay safe Rose... Lets hope this improves the coming decade.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Beanhead]
#22164817 - 08/30/15 01:15 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Stay safe, Rose, and get the fuck out of Montana
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22164846 - 08/30/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Dude, I will. I am stuck here for a few more months. Your point has been noted and taken, but telling me to leave over and over again is futile. I have shit to take care of here first and no independent wealth. You know this.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164860 - 08/30/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You know I think it is the most positive thing you can do with your life. I hate to say it but stay away from the troglodytes who live there. I'm sorry to say it but there isn't much good that come from you going out to a bar in Montana. It is a recipe for disaster. I don't go to bars in Bed Stuy.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22164870 - 08/30/15 01:35 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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There is no Bedford Stuyvesant here. Just a good bit of stupid. Hard to avoid.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164876 - 08/30/15 01:36 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Different brand of stupid but stupid nonetheless.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22164908 - 08/30/15 01:45 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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No shit. It just sucks to be unable to get a drink with potential friends at a bar.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose] 1
#22164927 - 08/30/15 01:53 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Having the money to pay for it is generally considered essential
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22164931 - 08/30/15 01:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had an ATM card. They have an ATM. Since they did not serve me without the cash, I decided not to take any out to pay for what I had not been served. I decided not to spend $2.00 to get $20 to bay for something I never bought. Crazy!?!
No transaction took place.
Who the fuck is cash only any more?
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22164953 - 08/30/15 02:03 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Of course they didn't serve u...you couldn't pay for it. I would have said "oh sorry I'm short. Damnit. Be right back". And borrow two bucks from your Gf and/or take money out of atm
Here, they always have a running tab...even in the most redneck places. I pay after im done with debit card
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22165008 - 08/30/15 02:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah. That is how it works everywhere else here too, open tab until you pay. I was just caught unawares by their cash only thing. I had no reason to think I was still accountable for a drink I had not been served and since I was with a large group, I saw no problem in just hanging out until my wife finished her drink. As a group we had spent a lot.
If I was alone and couldn't afford a drink, I wouldn't have stayed. We all have hung out at a bar while our friends drink before. No? As long as the group is paying for stuff, who cares about one person in the group who isn't?
If he wanted money for the drink I was not served he should have told me. If he wanted me to leave, he should have told me. He did neither. Nobody saw it coming.
Much of what went down was FUBAR. It is just the knowledge that were I not trans it would not have happened the way it did that stings.
Believe it or not, I don't spend every waking hour in fear of shit happening to me. I still go out and expect to be treated like I was before on occasion.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22165025 - 08/30/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah, like zap said, get the fuck out of there. 
Don't go to any of the northern parts of west Canada Tho. Very redneck and racist. A trans person definitely hides it in my town. Their is a pride movement here but it's small and has no weight.
Our city recently hoisted the pride flag or whatever down at city hall during pride week and people shat all over the act on facebook. It's sad as hell
-------------------- .
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Posts: 22,518
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22165051 - 08/30/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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We will likely move to the PNW soon. Great trans laws and legal weed. I plan on staying in America.
Just gotta' finish filing for bankruptcy first. If we don't, we would have to live in the new place for six months before we could start to file again. So, like I said, we are just kind of stuck here in the interim.
Hindsight is 20/20. I didn't know then what I know now. I thought when we were invited to hang out with my wife's co-workers, they would lead us to a place that would not mind my presence. For all I know, they thought they had.
I did not leave the house with the intent to hang out. I thought I was just picking my wife up from work. That should also explain why I had little cash on me. We saw an opportunity to be social and have fun and went for it. It was spur of the moment.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22165160 - 08/30/15 03:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh, and it isn't like I am allergic to dressing like a guy. In fact, I would have done that if I knew before we went. It is what I tend to do when I go to new places around here. My wife's work is very LGBT friendly, a wine bar... and the staff all know about me... so there was nothing wrong with going there to pick her up in more comfortable attire.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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endogenous
נפל מגיהינום


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 2,365
Last seen: 24 days, 19 hours
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22167458 - 08/31/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You should find a lawyer and sue that place into bankruptcy.
At least, after you move from the area, post the name and phone number of the bar so people can call and protest.
-------------------- The Day of the Lord has come like a thief in the night. -- It is there but no one knows it.
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: endogenous]
#22167517 - 08/31/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I haven't read through the whole thread only OP and this page, and that really sucks what happened to you Rose. It really sucks that shit people like this exist in the world.
Also,(sorry if this was asked) How did they recognize you as trans?
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Achillita]
#22168736 - 08/31/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Achillita said: I haven't read through the whole thread only OP and this page, and that really sucks what happened to you Rose. It really sucks that shit people like this exist in the world.
Also,(sorry if this was asked) How did they recognize you as trans?
I have no clue... besides the fact I stick out like a sore thumb.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22168831 - 08/31/15 12:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Fake tits would help your situation
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22168864 - 08/31/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Probably not
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22169032 - 08/31/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Zappa knows my voice does not pass. Do I want my voice to pass? Not really for myself, but perhaps so others are more at ease. But that is upsetting. Why should I have to talk with a fake voice, just to make others feel better? Which brings me to the next paragraph...
This may be the bigger issue: I am drawn to places like The Shroomery. In other words, I embrace being a subversive asshole. That quality served me well as a man. As a trans woman though, it gets interpreted differently by others.
As I keep saying, transition has a difficult learning curve. There is no handbook. I am not out to become someone else entirely but rather, I am out to learn how to be myself in a slightly different package and presentation. That means, when shit like this goes down, I take heed, learn from the experience and make slight, subtle adjustments in order to go out and try again.
In car racing, only the slightest adjustments can separate a winning car from one that ends the race a lap down. Too much over correction puts you in the wall. Currently I am in heavy traffic, pushing and bumping my way through, and getting caught in a lot of dirty air. There is little opportunity to draft right now, but I am not in the back of the pack.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169059 - 08/31/15 01:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Tits or gtfo.
Nah Rose, I was kidding. But it got me to wonder so I put a spoiler tag on this so it wouldn't ruin my "hillarious" joke and... it's ruined, isn't it? Damn. Anyway I wanted to ask if you get THAT kind of negative attention too now you're a woman?
Maybe those guys got a hard on from you and they couldn't deal with it because their brains are full of spiders or something.. I don't know.
Good luck in the race, and don't change your subversive asshole nature, it'll harm you if you change for those kinds of people.
--------------------
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem]
#22169073 - 08/31/15 01:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you!
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem]
#22169079 - 08/31/15 01:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Montana. Also, I don't know if it would have been an issue if she had enough money to buy a drink. It might have been but that might have been the last straw for the rednecks. She knows what I think she needs to do
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22169090 - 08/31/15 01:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Numb skull, I had enough money. It was on debit. I could have got some out from their ATM but after being informed the place was cash only, I did not really feel like spending money to take money out. I have never needed a PBR that badly and I never will.
I agree, it was the last straw for them, but I shockingly did not precog that as being an issue.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169109 - 08/31/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: I have never needed a PBR that badly and I never will.
Nobody does, I don't understand why this is even a beer. I'd say go drink some Dutch beer, but knowing Americans you'll grab a Heineken or some shit like that, so you know what? Don't drink Dutch beer. Ask for Belgian beer, you can't go wrong, even the super commercial beers are delicious! Keep your eyes open for Duvel. <--- remember this all your life.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem] 1
#22169152 - 08/31/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169169 - 08/31/15 01:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169490 - 08/31/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said:
Quote:
Rose said: I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.

Lolthis.
well i'm inexperienced on the IPA's buutttt
Currently all into Czech & Polish.
But I can't deny a good Belgian one, ever ;-).
Quote:
Rose said: My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Zappa knows my voice does not pass. Do I want my voice to pass? Not really for myself, but perhaps so others are more at ease. But that is upsetting. Why should I have to talk with a fake voice, just to make others feel better? Which brings me to the next paragraph...
This may be the bigger issue: I am drawn to places like The Shroomery. In other words, I embrace being a subversive asshole. That quality served me well as a man. As a trans woman though, it gets interpreted differently by others.
As I keep saying, transition has a difficult learning curve. There is no handbook. I am not out to become someone else entirely but rather, I am out to learn how to be myself in a slightly different package and presentation. That means, when shit like this goes down, I take heed, learn from the experience and make slight, subtle adjustments in order to go out and try again.
In car racing, only the slightest adjustments can separate a winning car from one that ends the race a lap down. Too much over correction puts you in the wall. Currently I am in heavy traffic, pushing and bumping my way through, and getting caught in a lot of dirty air. There is little opportunity to draft right now, but I am not in the back of the pack.
You go girl.
Edited by Beanhead (08/31/15 02:48 PM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Beanhead]
#22169881 - 08/31/15 04:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanks.
I am rather smug about that racing analogy. Really. Sigh... I need the newest Forza...
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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