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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22165008 - 08/30/15 02:24 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah. That is how it works everywhere else here too, open tab until you pay. I was just caught unawares by their cash only thing. I had no reason to think I was still accountable for a drink I had not been served and since I was with a large group, I saw no problem in just hanging out until my wife finished her drink. As a group we had spent a lot.
If I was alone and couldn't afford a drink, I wouldn't have stayed. We all have hung out at a bar while our friends drink before. No? As long as the group is paying for stuff, who cares about one person in the group who isn't?
If he wanted money for the drink I was not served he should have told me. If he wanted me to leave, he should have told me. He did neither. Nobody saw it coming.
Much of what went down was FUBAR. It is just the knowledge that were I not trans it would not have happened the way it did that stings.
Believe it or not, I don't spend every waking hour in fear of shit happening to me. I still go out and expect to be treated like I was before on occasion.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Masked
The Nutter


Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22165025 - 08/30/15 02:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah, like zap said, get the fuck out of there. 
Don't go to any of the northern parts of west Canada Tho. Very redneck and racist. A trans person definitely hides it in my town. Their is a pride movement here but it's small and has no weight.
Our city recently hoisted the pride flag or whatever down at city hall during pride week and people shat all over the act on facebook. It's sad as hell
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Masked]
#22165051 - 08/30/15 02:37 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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We will likely move to the PNW soon. Great trans laws and legal weed. I plan on staying in America.
Just gotta' finish filing for bankruptcy first. If we don't, we would have to live in the new place for six months before we could start to file again. So, like I said, we are just kind of stuck here in the interim.
Hindsight is 20/20. I didn't know then what I know now. I thought when we were invited to hang out with my wife's co-workers, they would lead us to a place that would not mind my presence. For all I know, they thought they had.
I did not leave the house with the intent to hang out. I thought I was just picking my wife up from work. That should also explain why I had little cash on me. We saw an opportunity to be social and have fun and went for it. It was spur of the moment.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22165160 - 08/30/15 03:10 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Oh, and it isn't like I am allergic to dressing like a guy. In fact, I would have done that if I knew before we went. It is what I tend to do when I go to new places around here. My wife's work is very LGBT friendly, a wine bar... and the staff all know about me... so there was nothing wrong with going there to pick her up in more comfortable attire.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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endogenous
נפל מגיהינום


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 2,365
Last seen: 24 days, 20 hours
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22167458 - 08/31/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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You should find a lawyer and sue that place into bankruptcy.
At least, after you move from the area, post the name and phone number of the bar so people can call and protest.
-------------------- The Day of the Lord has come like a thief in the night. -- It is there but no one knows it.
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Achillita
Back to the basics



Registered: 05/26/14
Posts: 4,565
Last seen: 3 years, 10 days
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: endogenous]
#22167517 - 08/31/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I haven't read through the whole thread only OP and this page, and that really sucks what happened to you Rose. It really sucks that shit people like this exist in the world.
Also,(sorry if this was asked) How did they recognize you as trans?
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Achillita]
#22168736 - 08/31/15 11:39 AM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Achillita said: I haven't read through the whole thread only OP and this page, and that really sucks what happened to you Rose. It really sucks that shit people like this exist in the world.
Also,(sorry if this was asked) How did they recognize you as trans?
I have no clue... besides the fact I stick out like a sore thumb.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22168831 - 08/31/15 12:09 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Fake tits would help your situation
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: azur]
#22168864 - 08/31/15 12:18 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Probably not
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22169032 - 08/31/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Zappa knows my voice does not pass. Do I want my voice to pass? Not really for myself, but perhaps so others are more at ease. But that is upsetting. Why should I have to talk with a fake voice, just to make others feel better? Which brings me to the next paragraph...
This may be the bigger issue: I am drawn to places like The Shroomery. In other words, I embrace being a subversive asshole. That quality served me well as a man. As a trans woman though, it gets interpreted differently by others.
As I keep saying, transition has a difficult learning curve. There is no handbook. I am not out to become someone else entirely but rather, I am out to learn how to be myself in a slightly different package and presentation. That means, when shit like this goes down, I take heed, learn from the experience and make slight, subtle adjustments in order to go out and try again.
In car racing, only the slightest adjustments can separate a winning car from one that ends the race a lap down. Too much over correction puts you in the wall. Currently I am in heavy traffic, pushing and bumping my way through, and getting caught in a lot of dirty air. There is little opportunity to draft right now, but I am not in the back of the pack.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169059 - 08/31/15 01:00 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Tits or gtfo.
Nah Rose, I was kidding. But it got me to wonder so I put a spoiler tag on this so it wouldn't ruin my "hillarious" joke and... it's ruined, isn't it? Damn. Anyway I wanted to ask if you get THAT kind of negative attention too now you're a woman?
Maybe those guys got a hard on from you and they couldn't deal with it because their brains are full of spiders or something.. I don't know.
Good luck in the race, and don't change your subversive asshole nature, it'll harm you if you change for those kinds of people.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem]
#22169073 - 08/31/15 01:05 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thank you!
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem]
#22169079 - 08/31/15 01:07 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Montana. Also, I don't know if it would have been an issue if she had enough money to buy a drink. It might have been but that might have been the last straw for the rednecks. She knows what I think she needs to do
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: zappaisgod]
#22169090 - 08/31/15 01:11 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Numb skull, I had enough money. It was on debit. I could have got some out from their ATM but after being informed the place was cash only, I did not really feel like spending money to take money out. I have never needed a PBR that badly and I never will.
I agree, it was the last straw for them, but I shockingly did not precog that as being an issue.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169109 - 08/31/15 01:14 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: I have never needed a PBR that badly and I never will.
Nobody does, I don't understand why this is even a beer. I'd say go drink some Dutch beer, but knowing Americans you'll grab a Heineken or some shit like that, so you know what? Don't drink Dutch beer. Ask for Belgian beer, you can't go wrong, even the super commercial beers are delicious! Keep your eyes open for Duvel. <--- remember this all your life.
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Turtletotem] 1
#22169152 - 08/31/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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Turtletotem
Dutch Delight



Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169169 - 08/31/15 01:28 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rose said: I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX


Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Rose]
#22169490 - 08/31/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Turtletotem said:
Quote:
Rose said: I know my good beer. You are right.
I prefer a cheap Czech lager over damn near any elite American microbrew. Belgium and Germany are great.

Lolthis.
well i'm inexperienced on the IPA's buutttt
Currently all into Czech & Polish.
But I can't deny a good Belgian one, ever ;-).
Quote:
Rose said: My tits are not an issue. The boob fairy has been overly generous.
Zappa knows my voice does not pass. Do I want my voice to pass? Not really for myself, but perhaps so others are more at ease. But that is upsetting. Why should I have to talk with a fake voice, just to make others feel better? Which brings me to the next paragraph...
This may be the bigger issue: I am drawn to places like The Shroomery. In other words, I embrace being a subversive asshole. That quality served me well as a man. As a trans woman though, it gets interpreted differently by others.
As I keep saying, transition has a difficult learning curve. There is no handbook. I am not out to become someone else entirely but rather, I am out to learn how to be myself in a slightly different package and presentation. That means, when shit like this goes down, I take heed, learn from the experience and make slight, subtle adjustments in order to go out and try again.
In car racing, only the slightest adjustments can separate a winning car from one that ends the race a lap down. Too much over correction puts you in the wall. Currently I am in heavy traffic, pushing and bumping my way through, and getting caught in a lot of dirty air. There is little opportunity to draft right now, but I am not in the back of the pack.
You go girl.
Edited by Beanhead (08/31/15 02:48 PM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate



Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: A Trans Woman Walks Into a Bar... [Re: Beanhead]
#22169881 - 08/31/15 04:17 PM (8 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanks.
I am rather smug about that racing analogy. Really. Sigh... I need the newest Forza...
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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