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Offlinepfxtc
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Really shitty habits *DELETED*
    #22152385 - 08/27/15 04:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Post deleted by pfxtc

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Edited by pfxtc (08/27/15 04:36 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152419 - 08/27/15 04:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

dude you should first learn to eat correctly #1 and #2 youre free to do whatever the fuck you want!! go out hiking and eat psychedelics, find love and happiness in yourself. cure that depression with overwhelming understanding of who you really are and what youre meant to do in this world.

reconnect with nature man, our true home.


--------------------
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To define is to confine.


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22152476 - 08/27/15 04:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
dude you should first learn to eat correctly #1 and #2 youre free to do whatever the fuck you want!! go out hiking and eat psychedelics, find love and happiness in yourself. cure that depression with overwhelming understanding of who you really are and what youre meant to do in this world.

reconnect with nature man, our true home.




I hike all the time it's one of the only things I still enjoy. I haven't tripped in 7 years and if I did I would end up crying in the ER... I said weed gives me insane panic attacks what you think some psychedelics would do? :lol: - I have no desire whatsoever to use drugs anymore and just drink beers to unwind. I love myself very much but probably can't be considered happy. Also, I don't subscribe to the notion that anyone has any purpose in this world :shrug: I've also probably done more psych's then you've heard of :tongue2:.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


Edited by pfxtc (08/27/15 04:55 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152489 - 08/27/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:sad: sorry buddy. find some hobbies! model rockets and shit are fun to shoot off when youre drunk haha


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InvisibleSoul-Shine

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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22152491 - 08/27/15 04:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

It appears that you have answered your own question. - "just knock it off"

My perception of it is that you are identifying the thing which you call "I" as a phenomenon outside of context to the universe in which "we" occupy. There is no man vs. nature as they are one in the same. Our human experience is simply a happening of existence just as what we call a wave is a happening and part of that which we call the ocean.

Emotions rise and endure perpetuation by the thing which we identify as our "self". So truly, the choice is yours alone whether or not to think differently. Happiness is not a birthright, but a choice. Don't seek answers outside of yourself because there is no outside. There is.

*Aside - I dig that saying Rebelutionsssss - "to define is to confine". Labels/words are simply manmade constructs. We speak sounds, not words.


Edited by Soul-Shine (08/27/15 05:01 PM)


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22152497 - 08/27/15 04:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
:sad: sorry buddy. find some hobbies! model rockets and shit are fun to shoot off when youre drunk haha




That's the root of depression though - hobbies don't interest me, and it's a hard thing to explain to someone who doesn't live it, like my wife has no idea what it's like and loves doing everything (bitch! :tongue2:). Everything's fun while drunk :lol:.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


Edited by pfxtc (08/27/15 04:58 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152515 - 08/27/15 04:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

whats not to be happy about man? you have what sounds like a wonderful wife, steady income without working yourself to death, a degree incase you do what to do something. sounds like you might be cooped up in the house too much. idle hands are the devils play ground


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Soul-Shine]
    #22152517 - 08/27/15 05:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Soul-Shine said:
It appears that you have answered your own question.

My perception of it is that you are identifying the thing which you call "I" as a phenomenon outside of context to the universe in which "we" occupy. There is no man vs. nature as they are one in the same. Our human experience is simply a happening of existence just as what we call a wave is a happening and part of that which we call the ocean.

Emotions rise and endure perpetuation by the thing which we identify as our "self". So truly, the choice is yours alone whether or not to think differently. Happiness is not a birthright, but a choice. Don't seek answers outside of yourself because there is no outside. There is.




To be honest I had my zen kick from the ages of 18-19 and found that no matter how abstract a level you boil existence down to - you still LIVE in that existence and have to find ways to be happy within it :lol:.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22152529 - 08/27/15 05:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
whats not to be happy about man? you have what sounds like a wonderful wife, steady income without working yourself to death, a degree incase you do what to do something. sounds like you might be cooped up in the house too much. idle hands are the devils play ground




Yeah I know it's fucked up. Everything's perfect and I'm a depressed/anxious mess :lol:. I've always been that type of mess though but have gotten lucky in those regards you mentioned. I try to get outside as much as I can - last thing I did was buy acoustic guitar and I sit outside for hours learning songs (I've played guitar for years which my interest in also suffered recently).


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152533 - 08/27/15 05:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You are depressed because you have too much time on your hands.  Idle time is the devils business.

Having multiple surgeries in the same area causes a ton of adhesions and scar tissue.  Stretch and use cross fiber friction on bands of scar tissue you can feel under the skin.  Ugh that sucks.  you cant rebuild collagen and elastin.  Class 4 laser therapy increases oxygen to cells and dramatically helps cell metabolism and turnover.  It also increases hemoglobin (red blood cells).  Look into that.


If I were you I would try desperately to find something to do.  the greatest reward and feeling you'll find is helping others.  I know it sounds stupid but doing something outside yourself for others will make you feel good.  I am satan but I help people and their pets every day, and they appreciate that and love me for it. 

Or find a job.  You'll feel purpose.
Also hobbies.


--------------------
welcome to my world http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/326


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InvisibleSoul-Shine

Registered: 11/02/13
Posts: 338
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152556 - 08/27/15 05:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You are correct, you do still have to live that existence. There was no intention to be convoluted. I simply wish to impart the idea that your feelings are your choices. Choose or don't choose and you've still made a choice. We are IME already what we are looking for, so be here now.

And if you really want to live, like somebody else mentioned, feed people - give back. Go to a nursing home and volunteer. Old folks are much more insightful than what western society tends to realise. There is a reason why many cultures revere elders. They've already been through it or a situation that was similar.


Edited by Soul-Shine (08/27/15 05:13 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152562 - 08/27/15 05:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

im kind of like you in a sense that i think everythings wrong in my life until i actually take a long hard look around me and realize how many wonderful things i have. count your blessings brother becaus ethose things will not always be there. i hope you find whatever you're looking for :hug:


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152572 - 08/27/15 05:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

when im depressed i go for a walk in the woods.  reconnecting with nature and getting fresh air without the influences of daily life is wonderful.  dont get lost. or do.


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: sprinkles]
    #22152574 - 08/27/15 05:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I quit posting here for a year but found half my time was just laying on the couch staring at the ceiling and I enjoy the social interaction I get here that I can't seem to find elsewhere, but of course sitting on the Internet all day isn't good after a certain point either.
Quote:

sprinkles said:
You are depressed because you have too much time on your hands.  Idle time is the devils business.

Having multiple surgeries in the same area causes a ton of adhesions and scar tissue.  Stretch and use cross fiber friction on bands of scar tissue you can feel under the skin.  Ugh that sucks.  you cant rebuild collagen and elastin.  Class 4 laser therapy increases oxygen to cells and dramatically helps cell metabolism and turnover.  It also increases hemoglobin (red blood cells).  Look into that.


If I were you I would try desperately to find something to do.  the greatest reward and feeling you'll find is helping others.  I know it sounds stupid but doing something outside yourself for others will make you feel good.  I am satan but I help people and their pets every day, and they appreciate that and love me for it. 

Or find a job.  You'll feel purpose.
Also hobbies.




I had those surgeries IN the military and got OUT right afterwards, and follow-up care was nonexistent. I nearly died from an operation on my stomach (acid reflux treatment) and had emergency surgeries to correct those dipshits mistake (the doctor was coincidentally 'transferred' right after the surgery) which I get paid for now (disability). But yeah, eating food whatsoever is one of my least favorite things to do. I avoid it until I get so tired I HAVE to eat and my lazy ass just goes and gets fast food (every day, literally).

I help others as much as I can in dumb little ways and it DOES make me feel better - I jump cars once a week lol and just anything else I can do around town if I see people need help, I get animals off the street and find owners, etc. so that's something. I'm like you in that regard I guess.

I've been applying for jobs (I quit my last job to finish school, and I started getting my disability $ so I didn't need to work anymore) but it's such a fucking nightmare. Literally applied to 50 places in last month and never responses, kickass resume and work history/education but no experience in anything really, so only options are minimum wage jobs which I'm way overqualified for (will have master's degree in a few months) and the $ wouldn't be worth the stress of the job + finishing school @ same time.

Thx all for listening to me ramble. Psychiatrist just insists on going on about my parents, who are moot factors in my depression.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: sprinkles]
    #22152588 - 08/27/15 05:13 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Soul-Shine said:
You are correct, you do still have to live that existence. There was no intention to convoluted. I simply wish to impart the idea that your feelings are your choices. Choose or don't choose and you've still made a choice. We are IME already what we are looking for, so be here now.

And if you really want to live, like somebody else mentioned, feed people - give back. Go to a nursing home and volunteer. Old folks are much more insightful than what western society tends to realise. There is a reason why many cultures revere elders. They've already been through it or a situation that was similar.




I can kind of see what you're saying but at a certain point your choices are made because of your feelings I would say. It's hard to find any meaning from 'being here now' when your now is just mind numbingly boring, and the prospect of escaping this boredness seems impossible. I don't know if you've ever been depressed but it's quite miserable :lol: and a little more than 'negative thinking' I think.
Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
im kind of like you in a sense that i think everythings wrong in my life until i actually take a long hard look around me and realize how many wonderful things i have. count your blessings brother becaus ethose things will not always be there. i hope you find whatever you're looking for :hug:




Me too
Quote:

sprinkles said:
when im depressed i go for a walk in the woods.  reconnecting with nature and getting fresh air without the influences of daily life is wonderful.  dont get lost. or do.




I run in the woods once a day, though never found much help with it. Most hobbies I find I do for 2 weeks and lose interest, which sucks.


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


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Offlinesprinkles
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152642 - 08/27/15 05:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

why do you have acid reflux so badly?  are you or have you been overweight?  Whats the deal with that?  why wont your esophogus sphincter shut?


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: sprinkles]
    #22152707 - 08/27/15 05:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
why do you have acid reflux so badly?  are you or have you been overweight?  Whats the deal with that?  why wont your esophogus sphincter shut?




WELL since you asked,

I have been underweight my whole life, still am, so that's no concern. I had an Ican'trememberthenameofitoctomy a few years ago and it was discovered I had a naturally loose esophageal SPHINCTER, and it was determined that's why PPI medication would not work (I tried every dose and nearly every medication). My exact condition is severe Laryngopharyngeal Reflux (or LPR) and it was thought a FULL nissen fundoplication would solve the issue. At certain points it was so bad I would throw up every morning and get monthly throat infections.

I had the surgery and they punctured a hole in my esophagus and nobody noticed. I couldn't eat or drink for 3 days after I got home after the initial procedure and went to a DR, and they found the hole and everything I was eating/drinking was literally filling my chest with fluids and putting insane pressure on my heart - I was told I might die or at the very least be in the hospital for 6 months. After shitting my pants I had an emergency surgery and was only there for 7 days so I was very lucky.

The procedure however did nothing to help my acid reflux, whatsoever. Medication still doesn't help. The procedure did give me what's called GAS BLOAT syndrome, and after about 9 months of being completely unable to eat solid foods (from the tightened esophageal pathway) I was finally able to eat real food, only to find that nearly anything I eat gives me severe bloating in my abdomen so bad that I can't walk for 30 minutes after I eat. This lasted for about a year day in and day out. Nowadays I have so much psychic 'pain' from this nightmare that eating food simply is not appealing, though the bloating is not nearly as bad as it used to be, and I don't choke while eating anymore. To drink fluids I literally had to hold my head back and choke them down each layer of my esophagus - for a year. Yeah it sucked and I get paid $ for it now, so ALL IS GOOD! :sad:

The reflux is still here and I stopped giving a shit after eating 'good' for nearly 2 years, all my favorite food is acidic and I don't care anymore and eat whatever I want, since even the 'better' food gives me worse bloating than what the LPR does reflux-wise.

Long story short = don't ever have a nissen fundoplication done:



--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


Edited by pfxtc (08/27/15 05:39 PM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: pfxtc]
    #22152750 - 08/27/15 05:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:hugitout: not really but im sorry man:sad:


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Offlinepfxtc
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Re: Really shitty habits [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22152791 - 08/27/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
:hugitout: not really but im sorry man:sad:




:lol: yeah not many know that feels too well, especially the fucking doctors :kingcrankey:


--------------------

koods said:
Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus.

Life-long trip report


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