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InvisibleLeViTY
I missed theark.

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 1,988
Loc: CA
I can't take it...
    #2214972 - 01/02/04 01:55 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I really can't take life anymore.  I have no idea what I want in life, I have no idea what I don't want.  But I know I don't want the life I'm living right now.  I'm unsatisfied with the way I'm living.  I feel like it's a repetition of every single moment.  I'm tired of being what everyone wants me to be, which is Happy Jacki.  I can't be Happy Jacki anymore.  I hide my feelings from the ones that are closest to me because I don't want to stress anybody out with my problems.  I feel like I am stuck in this life that isn't really a life, but is really just a pointless existance to satisfy people.

I went to this party-type thing last night.  I found myself holding back from doing a lot of things I wanted to do, like drink or get to know some people better...but I couldn't figure out what was holding me back.  I think I need to totally reorganize and change my life.  I want to experience everything from now on COMPLETELY new.  I want new friends, a new life, a new room, a new phone, everything new.  I want to experience things by myself and form my own opinions.  But I don't know how to do that, because I'd have to eliminate people from my life that I really care about.  But maybe I use those people as a crutch to provide some stability in my life, and I don't want to do that anymore...

I'm sorry for rambling, I just needed to get this out.  Thanks for reading, if you made it this far.  :sad:


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OfflineKiafi
Psychonaut

Registered: 03/26/03
Posts: 182
Loc: Rehab
Last seen: 7 years, 6 months
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2214986 - 01/02/04 02:07 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

You could always reinvent yourself. Maybe move, get a new job, try some new drug, -something- that will help you get back on track.

No matter what the problem may be, the solution starts with you, and it almost certainly will not get better until you make it so.


--------------------
Nothing is True. Everything is permitted.
Everything is true. Nothing is 'permitted'.



Every man and woman is a star.
Each star is it's own prison.


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Offlinealienated
contaminationgrower

Registered: 05/14/02
Posts: 425
Loc: kali-forn-I-A
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
Re: I can't take it... [Re: Kiafi]
    #2215044 - 01/02/04 02:44 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

to re-inventwould be best. but remember, life can't change in 1 day. That's the hardest thing i faced when I was feeling the same way you are. depending on how old you are, your finacial situation, where you live, etc... just try being new. Try not caring about whatpeople think :smile:

good luck


--------------------
-m.

I dont even grow these things... I just post for this guy that knows a guy, who's sisters boyfriend dumped about 2 months ago.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215048 - 01/02/04 02:47 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

i'm hoping you get over it,i know you will :thumbup:


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215110 - 01/02/04 03:27 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

I feel pretty similar.  Im just sick of how stupid this life we are suppost to be living is.  I want to get away form it all!  You and me could rent a little hut on Koh Samui and really start living  :thumbup:

You can't change the way people think, you can try to make them realize how dumb and material everything we know is.  But other than that all you can do is detatch yourself or totally leave, which is what I want to do some day.


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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InvisibleGGreatOne234
Stranger
Registered: 12/24/99
Posts: 8,946
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215171 - 01/02/04 04:16 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

:heartpump: :heartpump: :heartpump: :heartpump:


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Offlinedaba
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 12/30/02
Posts: 3,881
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215243 - 01/02/04 05:02 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Hey Jacki, that is a good attitude to have for a new year! A new year attitude towards life in general!

I've had those thoughts, and I continue to have these thoughts of confusion and why I am here on planet earth. It's not a big deal. Sometimes, we just need change in our lives.

Change is good :smile:!


--------------------
Fold for The Shroomery!


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215440 - 01/02/04 06:46 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

"I want to experience everything from now on COMPLETELY new."

I think this might be part of your problem right here.. This implies extreme dissatisfaction with the way things have gone up until now. Extreme dissatisfaction with parts of your life are going to come with you no matter where you go and no matter how many new cellphones you purchase. I think you need to confront these things you're trying to escape. You can always chose a new direction to go in, but you can never erase what's already logged in your mind, so its best to accept what's happened as "not the best I can be" heh and move FORWARD, realizing that whenever you look back, all of this stuff will still be here, but that you don't have to shudder to think of the past because its what brings you to the future


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


Edited by Strumpling (01/02/04 06:48 PM)


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InvisibletrendalM
point of inflection
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/17/01
Posts: 19,377
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Re: I can't take it... [Re: LeViTY]
    #2215475 - 01/02/04 07:17 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Oh Jacki :smile:

Various points in my life, I have fallen and thought "Why? What's the point of going on? I hate this..."

I always realize, in the end, what the answer is: just to go on. We are each in control of our own lives, do not think otherwise! If you need a change...change it! I recently packed up and left the life I was living...because I realized I had grown stale and was not progressing as well as I could be. I moved home, to my mother's house, and now have a job (!!!). I had to leave behind my friends, whom I still care very much about. Have I changed? No. Only my situation has changed...but that alone makes all the difference in the world.

Well to be honest, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post...

I know you're a very sociable girl, but maybe you should try spending some time with yourself? Learn the intricacies of your mind. Learn something.

You know, I really have no idea where I'm going in life either. I doubt many people do. Sure, lots of people make plans...but they are only plans - not destiny. I don't know where I will be a year from now, or what I will be doing.

I do know one thing, though...a year from now I'll still be living :wink:

:heart: :heart:


--------------------
You're here because you know something.
What you know you can't explain,
But you feel it;
You've felt it your entire life.
That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there....
Like a splinter in your mind...
Driving you mad.


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