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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Getting married and changing your name 1
#22134847 - 08/24/15 10:20 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What do you guys think about this.
Should a women keep her name or take his. If that's okay then what's wrong with him taking hers .
I'm taking her last name my last name is from my father who I haven't seen in 25 years or so.
It's free so I changed my middle name too.
-------------------- I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22134873 - 08/24/15 10:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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whatever you do, don't sign anything. why make a symbolic act legally binding?
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abltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut




Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22134874 - 08/24/15 10:28 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's an inconsequential and trivial matter. You are you, not your name.
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qman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
Posts: 34,927
Last seen: 25 minutes, 57 seconds
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: abltsandwich] 1
#22134903 - 08/24/15 10:32 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
trekie said: What do you guys think about this.
Should a women keep her name or take his. If that's okay then what's wrong with him taking hers .
I'm taking her last name my last name is from my father who I haven't seen in 25 years or so.
It's free so I changed my middle name too.

I don't think many men would choose to take their wife's last name, kind of degrading.
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Psilosopherr]
#22134909 - 08/24/15 10:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's how I feel. So I made my name awesome.
I've been with my woman for almost a decade. So I'm pretty sure it's going to work Quote:
rbalzer said: whatever you do, don't sign anything. why make a symbolic act legally binding?
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CliftonGK1
Sasquatch



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 327
Loc: A place
Last seen: 4 hours, 17 minutes
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: abltsandwich]
#22134910 - 08/24/15 10:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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My wife kept her name because of her professional credentials. Too much of a pain in the ass to go about changing all that crap.
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Janky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: qman]
#22134911 - 08/24/15 10:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm almost 100% likely going to take my wife's last name as long as it's not an ugly ass last name. The reason I'm taking my wife's last name is because I hate my father and it would be a giant fuck you to him if I not only absconded his family name but also completely cut off his legacy by not giving my children his family name and instead giving them my wife's family name. Fuck my dad
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: qman]
#22134918 - 08/24/15 10:37 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I didn't weant my first wife to chasnge her name but she insisted. She still uses it. Which I hate. My second wife kept her name through both marriages but all the kids have the father's last name. The whole thing is kind of anachronistic but hyphenation is idiotic.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie] 1
#22134960 - 08/24/15 10:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should change your name to Engelbert Humperdinck
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: nicechrisman]
#22135046 - 08/24/15 11:12 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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In the unlikely event I get married, I would prefer my wife take my name. Personal preference. Whether or not she keeps her old last name before mine is up to her.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: nicechrisman] 1
#22135050 - 08/24/15 11:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I changed my Shroomery name from Wiccan_Seeker to Asante when I got married to God
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Asante] 1
#22135188 - 08/24/15 11:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22135244 - 08/24/15 12:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should hyphenate the names together ten when your kids get married, they can do the same thing.
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: zappaisgod]
#22135297 - 08/24/15 12:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:

-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Asante]
#22135337 - 08/24/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't plan on getting married, but I put importance in my heritage so it would be hard to relinquish my last name for another. If I ever did change my last name, I would change it back to what it was before my ancestors were put through the progroms in Ukraine.
I wouldn't ever make the demand for my spouse to change her last name either. It's something that should be a voluntary choice.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Arctic W. Fox

Registered: 09/23/14
Posts: 1,357
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Asante]
#22135385 - 08/24/15 12:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Since I have to change my name just to be on Facebook.
I'll have to change my name before I get married, too, I suppose.
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Ezuma
Gontish Wizard



Registered: 12/02/13
Posts: 8,423
Loc: Roke
Last seen: 10 months, 20 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22135398 - 08/24/15 01:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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The name thing doesn't matter to me but I get the problems with it. I mean eventually, one name has to win out. You can't go hyphenating two already hyphenated names or you'll end up with a frankensteinien mosnter of a name after a couple generations of implementation. I'd have no problem with a woman keeping her name, and as a guy I wouldn't change mine personally.
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Ezuma] 1
#22135485 - 08/24/15 01:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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wait....asante is wiccan seeker?
damn names changes
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,796
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Psilosopherr]
#22135549 - 08/24/15 01:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Didnt you know?
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Psilosopherr]
#22135582 - 08/24/15 02:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
rbalzer said: wait....asante is wiccan seeker?
damn names changes
I even remember his old avatar from days gone by, it was a black dude walking, a computer generated graphic if memory serves me correct.
-------------------- ©️
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SunnyD
WiZarD oF LoVe



Registered: 04/29/13
Posts: 25,236
Loc: Planet earth
Last seen: 1 month, 22 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Lucis]
#22135843 - 08/24/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think marriage is alittle stupid
Legal this legal that
Last names are just names to identity not important
--------------------
        And to everyone who thinks life is just a game, Do you like the part you are playing? This is the time in life I am living! And I face each day with a smile My music Library of Synthesizer goodness
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Lucis]
#22137086 - 08/24/15 07:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said:
Quote:
rbalzer said: wait....asante is wiccan seeker?
damn names changes
I even remember his old avatar from days gone by, it was a black dude walking, a computer generated graphic if memory serves me correct.
Yeah I remember really liking his old avatar. I can only vaguely picture it atm.
Well shoot, that explains where the hell this asante guy came from. Mystery solved
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: SunnyD]
#22137134 - 08/24/15 07:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm not going to hyphenate fuck that.
I'm taking her last name. I'm close with her family so it's cool with them. I'm changing my middle name to my grandpa's last name. I always thought my middle name was super stupid anyway.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie] 1
#22137183 - 08/24/15 07:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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How stupid? Like Melvin stupid?
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DayTripper1
We are one!



Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2,258
Loc: Krusty Krab
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: zappaisgod]
#22137305 - 08/24/15 07:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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My wife's father wanted me to take my wife's last name. I told him "that's not going to happen."
Nothing wrong with the whole act but unless my wife has a boy my last name will perish. As of now, I am the last with my last name.
-------------------- ________________ This just isn't working the way the manual paints it.
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DOBAS



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,002
Loc: Virginia
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Janky Tits]
#22137330 - 08/24/15 08:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
qman said:
Quote:
trekie said: What do you guys think about this.
Should a women keep her name or take his. If that's okay then what's wrong with him taking hers .
I'm taking her last name my last name is from my father who I haven't seen in 25 years or so.
It's free so I changed my middle name too.

I don't think many men would choose to take their wife's last name, kind of degrading.
Quote:
Xplicit RelapzZ said: I'm almost 100% likely going to take my wife's last name as long as it's not an ugly ass last name. The reason I'm taking my wife's last name is because I hate my father and it would be a giant fuck you to him if I not only absconded his family name but also completely cut off his legacy by not giving my children his family name and instead giving them my wife's family name. Fuck my dad
Thats disrespectful man.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: DOBAS]
#22137379 - 08/24/15 08:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Me too. I only have a daughter. She will be the last one. It is one of the most common last names in the country but I'm an only son of an only son.
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DTCharlieB
yum yum fish.


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1,027
Loc: Yak attack
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: zappaisgod]
#22137873 - 08/24/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Lots of males in my family. I was the first to pass on my last name to my son nearly a year ago, followed closely by my cousin who also had a son with our last name (born 19 days apart). Now hopefully my brother and other cousins get some chick knocked up and they all have boys with my last name and soon we will take over the town.... Then the world.
Here's an interesting family tidbit. My birthday is April 16 and my uncles is the 15th. My grandma's b day is October 2, my father's is the 3rd and my son's is the 6th. And I believe my other uncles is almost on the same date as my cousins. All on one side of the family. It seems like our family is only fertile on certain dates.
Bang bang what's the hang.
-------------------- I like lasagna.
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: DTCharlieB] 1
#22138173 - 08/24/15 11:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is probably old fashioned but if I knew a man took his wife's name I'd laugh on the inside. If she refused his name I'd think it was a fake marriage.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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trekie
Metal man


Registered: 05/11/09
Posts: 11,085
Loc: Larger cities
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: pfxtc]
#22138180 - 08/24/15 11:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What about my situation she didn't refuse to take mine. Besides in Sweden it's common for the man to take the women's last name.
I mean have you seen Swedish women .
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


Registered: 11/15/08
Posts: 21,166
Loc:
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22138187 - 08/24/15 11:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
trekie said: What about my situation she didn't refuse to take mine. Besides in Sweden it's common for the man to take the women's last name.
I mean have you seen Swedish women .
I mean I'm not a Swede so I don't know much about their culture Regardless, if I knew you took her last name I'd laugh inside - sorry. Every single marriage I know of where the wife didn't take the husband's last name failed - quick. Not that it matters - but an interesting correlation.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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DTCharlieB
yum yum fish.


Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 1,027
Loc: Yak attack
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: trekie]
#22138264 - 08/24/15 11:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
pfxtc said: This is probably old fashioned but if I knew a man took his wife's name I'd laugh on the inside. If she refused his name I'd think it was a fake marriage.
Me too
Quote:
trekie said: What about my situation she didn't refuse to take mine. Besides in Sweden it's common for the man to take the women's last name.
I mean have you seen Swedish women .
I think your good though I know people that had there deadbeat dad's last name and they just changed it to their moms last name when they were old enough. And wife>mom so it's all good in the hood.
-------------------- I like lasagna.
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Brian Jones
Club 27



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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: DTCharlieB]
#22138504 - 08/25/15 02:10 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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In Japan, it is common for the man to take the last name if the wife's family had no male children. I think they commonly pay the guy for this.
I can see women keeping their last name for professional purposes.
My last name is Czech and it starts with "Stud" I'm keeping that. Even my sister had that for a nickname in High school. So that was my name for about 9 years then I went to college when I was 23, and lost that name for several years. All of a sudden my dishwashing partner was guy who knew me from the old days so I had that name for another 7 years.
-------------------- "The Rolling Stones will break up over Brian Jones' dead body" John Lennon I don't want no commies in my car. No Christians either. The worst thing about corruption is that it works so well,
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



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Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: Janky Tits]
#22138721 - 08/25/15 03:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Xplicit RelapzZ said: I'm almost 100% likely going to take my wife's last name as long as it's not an ugly ass last name. The reason I'm taking my wife's last name is because I hate my father and it would be a giant fuck you to him if I not only absconded his family name but also completely cut off his legacy by not giving my children his family name and instead giving them my wife's family name. Fuck my dad
Only if he is hawt.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: nicechrisman]
#22138741 - 08/25/15 04:08 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: You should change your name to Engelbert Humperdinck
or better yet, Dick Cavett.
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pirate-blues


Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 13,656
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: akira_akuma]
#22138859 - 08/25/15 05:25 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't really care one way or the other. My last name is uncommon, everyone in the US who has it is either my brother, parents, and I, or one of a few distant cousins who I share a great great uncle with. It's pretty neat researching lineage on my dad's side, and even though he doesn't say it, I think my dad is secretly glad my brother is carrying the torch and dead set on having a kid in the near future.
The only thing that will sway my decision is(of course, this may or may not change) how nice my name sounds with my spouse's last name vs hyphenated or my own.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: pirate-blues]
#22138966 - 08/25/15 06:32 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think it all depends on the sentimental and aesthetic value, as well as maintaining family values for the little ones. I don't care who takes who's name, or if they do at all, but they should consider it if they're having kids(so they don't feel 'different' and feel like part of a family). Wifey has taken my name for two reasons. One being she doesn't get along well with her family, and because she thinks it sounds better. It makes us feel more like a family as well.
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CliftonGK1
Sasquatch



Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 327
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Last seen: 4 hours, 17 minutes
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Re: Getting married and changing your name [Re: pfxtc]
#22140917 - 08/25/15 01:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
pfxtc said: If she refused his name I'd think it was a fake marriage.
What constitutes "refusal"? My wife and I got married later on in middle-age (both of us having been married once before, too young, and things didn't work.) We were both well established in our careers, her a little bit more prominently in her field than me. When we were talking about wedding plans, name was a topic that came up, and we looked into what it would take if she were to have taken my last name. Aside from the usual social security and driver's license stuff, there's also 3 professional organizations, security credentials for multiple workplaces, the hassle of explaining to publishers and presentation committees that "yes, you can still use my old name for marketing reasons", etc. Neither one of us wanted to put up with that gigantic fuck-around, so she kept her name; mutual decision.
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