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Anonymous #1

Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them?
    #22134032 - 08/24/15 06:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I won't draw this out. I'm with a girl and while I have strong feelings for her and consider her to be a good person and a decent fit for me, she clearly likes me significantly more than I like her. The imbalance makes me uncomfortable. Obviously you can never tell for sure whether your feelings for someone are fully reciprocated, but there presumably shouldn't be such a large discrepancy as to be noticeable.

I treat her very well, I don't abuse the fact that she would let me get away with all kinds of shit I'd dump her over, but fundamentally it just feels like some kind of emotional theft or something of the sort.

I'm not asking for advice on what to do here, I'd just like to know whether people think it's morally wrong to let a situation like this unfold, even if you're acting like a perfect "gentleman"?


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Anonymous #2

Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22134720 - 08/24/15 09:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

If you don't see your self marrying her in the future, open the relationship up so she has more of a chance to find someone that will, as do you will have more of chance at finding love too.


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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22134798 - 08/24/15 10:08 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Open it up how? Polygamy is not an option with this girl. I've been utterly honest about my intentions and made it clear that I have no desire to get married any time soon or have children ever. I'm not pandering to her fairyland, and she's fine with the situation for now, I'm just pondering whether it's wrong to be with someone who clearly cares about you more than you care about them.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


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Anonymous #2

Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: EllisDSox]
    #22134837 - 08/24/15 10:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Well if you've been upfront and she can accept the fact that you don't want kids, then i don't see anything wrong with it. You're a man steering the direction of the relationship while she's in 'fairyland's" enjoying it's emotional offerings.
She being emotional, and you're remaining logical, it's natural to not feel the love quite as much as she is. I'm no love guru, but i think you're in a healthy relationship.


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InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
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Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #22134871 - 08/24/15 10:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I don't think it's wrong as long as you're upfront and honest about your end of the deal. She'll figure her head out eventually, or she'll move on into deeper stages of craziness. People develop as the mature, and they'll have misconceptions along the way. I don't think you're doing anything wrong, and I don't have any suggestions for how to do anything better.


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OfflineMoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: EllisDSox]
    #22141003 - 08/25/15 02:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I think you feel guilty because the dynamic is usually reversed. It's a crazy feeling, but enjoy. Don't abuse it and everything will be fine.

Shit, you may end up changing your mind and marrying her after all.


--------------------
No one behind, no one ahead.
The path the ancients cleared has closed.
And the other path, everyone's path,
easy and wide, goes nowhere.
I am alone and find my way.


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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: MoxyOx]
    #22143323 - 08/25/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Didn't mean to anonymous the first post, by the way.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Is it wrong to stay with someone who feels more for you than you do for them? [Re: EllisDSox]
    #22162035 - 08/29/15 06:50 PM (8 years, 4 months ago)

If it makes you feel uncomfortable there's something wrong.  Everyone is different but I say listen to what you feel.  If you don't want to hurt her and you want to stay with her open your self up and get on the same level.  Just because she wants marriage and children (I believe that is what I read)  doesn't mean she likes you more than you like her,  it just means she wants that out of life.  Communication is the key.  But like I said listen to your gut.  If something feels wrong chances are that it's wrong for you.


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