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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/18/00
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The Ramifications of Ramificating
    #2213238 - 01/01/04 01:19 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

What are the emotional / spiritual dangers of a one-night stand or of a sexual encounter very early in a relationship?

Let's exclude the obvious disease, pregancy and jealous ex issues.


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The proof is in the pudding.

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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Swami]
    #2213251 - 01/01/04 01:29 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Bad dangers. 

When in a new relationship, if you have sex early on, one tends to over-look important "red flags".  People tend to confuse sex with love.

Here's what you do:  Find someone with whom to have sex while you are dating the person with whom you are trying to establish a relationship.  That way, you won't miss the red flags, yet you are still getting laid!

:grin:


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/18/00
Posts: 15,413
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213258 - 01/01/04 01:36 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

That is the best advice I have heard in a long time. You should start one of those "Ask Froggy" columns and get syndication.

Dear Froggy:

I love my wife dearly, but she got fat and lost all desire in sex so I have a mistress. Here's my question: Is it OK to "cheat" on my mistress?

Confused in Colorado


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Anonymous

Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Swami]
    #2213280 - 01/01/04 01:52 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Connecting flesh with someone is a way to connect with their inner being on many different levels.

There is more than one reason why you should never sleep with someone crazier than yourself.

Physical intimacy should be reserved for someone who has earned, through mutual respect and regard, the other kinds of intimacy that people share.

And no, I won't sleep with you.

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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213284 - 01/01/04 01:53 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

When in a new relationship, if you have sex early on, one tends to over-look important "red flags". People tend to confuse sex with love.



Right on. I'm afraid I had to learn this lesson the hard way.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: silversoul7]
    #2213289 - 01/01/04 01:57 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Me, too, silversoul. Me, too.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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InvisibleTheHateCamel
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Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 15,738
Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: ]
    #2213299 - 01/01/04 02:02 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Mr_Mushrooms said:

There is more than one reason why you should never sleep with someone crazier than yourself.






:lol:

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Swami]
    #2213359 - 01/01/04 02:44 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

The dangers? I see none.... I actually enjoy getting over the "sex hump" (hump hump? heh) quickly because often that's all I can think about with a girl (Yes I'm Shallow) until we do it.. Then once that barrier is busted I find it a lot easier to "connect" with a woman and actually listen to what she has to say (sometimes :wink: )

rofl that may sound terrible, but its honest and its me :smile:

edit: you know I suppose this depends on what one is looking for...... me personally I'm not really into "committed" relationships at this age so I guess this isn't really a question for me..


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

Edited by Strumpling (01/01/04 02:46 PM)

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OfflineSpecialEd
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Swami]
    #2213548 - 01/01/04 04:30 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

What are the emotional / spiritual dangers of a one-night stand or of a sexual encounter very early in a relationship?





I don't know.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Strumpling]
    #2213558 - 01/01/04 04:35 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

I think men can have sex with women more easily and not confuse sex with love. I may be wrong, it might be just me, but I think women tend to be more likely to confuse sex with love.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213614 - 01/01/04 05:07 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

depends on how you approach the situation....

I think women just kind of get "tricked" into having sex more than men do, being lead to believe that there's more in the relationship than just sex from the beginning. edit:Natually this doesn't happen with guys as much because I think less guys are looking for commitment than women, in general.end edit

If one starts a relationship clearly stating that its just "fun" one is looking for and nothing more, the woman will either back off or stick around knowing the situation..

hehe Lack of Communication I think is one major relationship issue.... Its always good to check with the person "you're with" to make sure you're both looking for the same kind of relationship


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

Edited by Strumpling (01/01/04 05:09 PM)

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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Strumpling]
    #2213652 - 01/01/04 05:30 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

That's what I mean, though. Women have sex because they think the guy is in love with them the way they are in love with the guy. Not usually the case, though. That's why I won't have sex for at least the first 6 weeks. Sometimes longer.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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OfflineSpecialEd
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213654 - 01/01/04 05:33 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

That's what I mean, though. Women have sex because they think the guy is in love with them the way they are in love with the guy. Not usually the case, though. That's why I won't have sex for at least the first 6 weeks. Sometimes longer.




Why can't women just have sex because they enjoy it? Must they wait until they are in love or do they have ulterior motives...


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: SpecialEd]
    #2213672 - 01/01/04 05:47 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

I know I'm not "typical" about this, so I am not speaking for all women, but if a guy said he wanted to have sex just for sex, I couldn't do it. Internally, there is something inside me that won't let me do that. Call it my Catholic upbringing. I don't know.

Besides, I think about how many opportunities there are to have sex. I'm sorry, but it sounds really gross to me to have sex for the sake of sex. I read somewhere, once, that every time you have sex with someone, you are having sex with all the people they had sex with. Hmmm.

When I have sex, it's only because I'm in love. Period.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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OfflineSpecialEd
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213695 - 01/01/04 06:05 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

This thread was going in the direction that women are victimized by being tricked into having sex with the promise of love or a relationship. I was suggesting that women use sex as a reward for men who make a commitment to them. Or as Chef said...

"A prostitute is a woman who trades something for sex. Therefore, all women are prostitutes."

Certainly all women are not like this, and maybe I just have a bad attitude, but I see a lot of golden vagina syndrome, or women using sex to get what they want out of men.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: SpecialEd]
    #2213719 - 01/01/04 06:23 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

No, I wasn't saying that women are victimized into sex. Let's don't use "victimization". I'm saying that women like to think the guy is in love too, and I think guys will let women think that love plays into it.

But you're right, there is a "golden vagina syndrome" out there. I don't employ that, myself. I just can't have sex without love. And I don't think I"m in love just because I'm horny.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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InvisibleSwami
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Registered: 01/18/00
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213723 - 01/01/04 06:26 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

That's why I won't have sex for at least the first 6 weeks. Sometimes longer.

Which is why I usally wait six weeks for the second date...


--------------------



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OfflineSpecialEd
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Frog]
    #2213798 - 01/01/04 07:43 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

But you're right, there is a "golden vagina syndrome" out there. I don't employ that, myself. I just can't have sex without love. And I don't think I"m in love just because I'm horny.




Do you think it is easier for men to have emotionally unattached sex? If so, why do you think so.

I think that it is easier for men, but I am not sure why. Some people argue that males have instinctual drives to be with as many women as possible to pass on their genes and women just want one man to protect offspring, but I have heard the roles reversed in recent studies.


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OfflineLearyfanS
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: Strumpling]
    #2213879 - 01/01/04 08:45 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

The dangers? I see none.... I actually enjoy getting over the "sex hump" (hump hump? heh) quickly because often that?s all I can think about with a girl (Yes I?m Shallow) until we do it.. Then once that barrier is busted I find it a lot easier to "connect" with a woman and actually listen to what she has to say (sometimes 




That?s me all the way

Quote:

Swami said: "That?s why I wait 6 weeks for the second date 




:lol:





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Mp3 of the month:  Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish


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OfflineFrog
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Re: The Ramifications of Ramificating [Re: SpecialEd]
    #2213895 - 01/01/04 08:55 PM (20 years, 2 months ago)

Do you think it is easier for men to have emotionally unattached sex? If so, why do you think so.

I think that it is easier for men, but I am not sure why. Some people argue that males have instinctual drives to be with as many women as possible to pass on their genes and women just want one man to protect offspring, but I have heard the roles reversed in recent studies.


I almost answered this question, and then at the end I was writing that this would be an interesting subject to look into, because my memory is too shaky. Maybe someone else can jump in before I hurt my brain.

But I do know that men can have sex without love easier than women can. I just don't remember where I've read this.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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