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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: hex_enduction]
#22133057 - 08/23/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I dont ever consider doing it. Rarely think about, when i do i know i will never and could never do it. I intend on living as long as i possibly can. Im a fighter lol, if shit gets tough im going to look for a way to get out of the bad shit im in what im in, not a way to end everything good and bad.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: 28064212]
#22133069 - 08/23/15 10:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
28064212 said: Simple question. Just curious how abnormal my thoughts are at this point- won't ever do it, as much as I may think of it
apparently not that abnormal. I got something on my news feed thei morning about a friend dying last night, he's only 35, he's my younger brother's best friend and like a member of the family. we just got the call about 20 minutes ago, his death is a suicide. he was someone that by all appearances had everything going for him, a beautiful wife, a son, a nice home, a great job... he had what many of us dream of.
the people around him are the ones that suffer now.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 27 minutes
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: SurReality]
#22133078 - 08/23/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SurReality said: my ideal method was jumping. seems to surely be fatal if your high enough, plus i always loved drop ride at amusement parks and i love the free fall from skydiving.
so might as well go out having fun, which would also add to the fatality because i would go to the highest place possible not just for insurance but just to prolong the free fall feeling as long as possible. it used to be my goal to by my own plane before i get too old...
I wouldn't even trust that. There are still miraculous survivors of huge falls. Some in excess of 10,000 feet.
http://www.mandatory.com/2012/08/13/10-people-who-survived-ridiculous-falls/4
A lot are attributed to snow, but not all of them are.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Mr. Magic



Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Prisoner#1] 1
#22133083 - 08/23/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I do every day. It sounds so easy and appealing, but ill probably never do it.
Ive already thought up a plan though if i did. Many of my thoughts are quite irrational and abnormal. I know i need help but therapist really dont work. Ive been to a few already.
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xbloodwhipx

Registered: 02/24/12
Posts: 12,791
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Shroomslip]
#22133084 - 08/23/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think drugs keep me alive. When i feel down, they bring me up
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Swyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: hex_enduction]
#22133085 - 08/23/15 10:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Any real danger to yourself? Anyone can think of offing themselves You serious?
-------------------- If you build it they will shrug.
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ReposadoXochipilli
Here, there, inbetween



Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 7,501
Loc: Sand and sunshine
Last seen: 19 days, 19 hours
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
#22133138 - 08/23/15 10:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Every few months when I find myself trapped in negative thoughts. Would never do it while my mother and dogs are alive, they don't deserve that.
Had 3 out of 4 cousins that were all siblings od/suicide in a 2 month span right after my best friend fucked up and was sent to prison, shitty spring that year.
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28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Prisoner#1]
#22134380 - 08/24/15 07:50 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
28064212 said: Simple question. Just curious how abnormal my thoughts are at this point- won't ever do it, as much as I may think of it
apparently not that abnormal. I got something on my news feed thei morning about a friend dying last night, he's only 35, he's my younger brother's best friend and like a member of the family. we just got the call about 20 minutes ago, his death is a suicide. he was someone that by all appearances had everything going for him, a beautiful wife, a son, a nice home, a great job... he had what many of us dream of.
the people around him are the ones that suffer now.
Sorry for your loss Pris
I guess my thoughts aren't that abnormal though
It's only because of the stuff I am going through I am so depressed
Once I am free to be me again I will be so much happier and have this huge weight lifted off of me
But there are some nights suicide is the last thing I think of before sleep and the first upon waking up
Like I said I don't think I could ever go through with it.
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Burning Warrior
That One Dude



Registered: 08/21/15
Posts: 78
Loc: South East
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: 28064212] 1
#22134443 - 08/24/15 08:16 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's not dieing that bothers me. It's the thought of how many people would actually care that I died. That gets me.
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lillFish
Daydreamer



Registered: 01/18/09
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Recliner
Last seen: 10 days, 5 hours
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: 28064212]
#22134462 - 08/24/15 08:20 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am prone to bouts of depression. It's usually triggered when I feel like I have no control over something or when frustration with myself gets to a certain point where I just hate myself. I have ADD-pi. I do think about wanting to die, but then I get over it and I'm fine. Seems to come around every 6 months or so. The depression was worse when I was younger. I distinctly remember being around 10 years old and hating myself, wanting to die.
-------------------- My Wish & Trade list
Edited by lillFish (08/24/15 08:21 AM)
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: lillFish]
#22134486 - 08/24/15 08:29 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Every fucking day.
Nah just kidding i like life and all of it's retarded randomness
There are times where I'd love the option to just opt out though. But the great funny spontaneous moments make it worth it.
When I'm so fucking tired and just tired of trying. Can a nigga get a break how much can life shit all over me at one fucking time?
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (08/24/15 08:34 AM)
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lood_dood
Magical Badger Catcher



Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 414
Loc: Galloway
Last seen: 7 years, 14 days
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Damn, this is some heavy stuff guys 
Although I used to have suicidal urges all the time (like, really really bad), tripping nutsack helped me find self love and reason to keep going; find beauty in all things. Experiencing how terribly suicide can effect other people helped too; put a perspective on it.
When things seem so bad that you are legitimately considering offing yourself and the people you care about aren't gonna change that, consider this:
Why give the satisfaction of your death to all the elements that would cause it? Debt collectors, school-fuckers, dead-end job shit, the police, some ex-shitheads in your life? Whatever... fuck em! These are people you hate anyway so why let them be happy with you dying?! They are the only ones gaining anything from your self-extinction: you rot in the earth, and your closest peeps are all gonna suffer: It's literally a no-win situation for you or the parties you care about who are involved.
When life hits the rockiest of rock bottoms and you were gonna end it anyway with a 100% chance, that's when you can really try something new, maybe it's a sign that you aught to do it. For me, if I ever found myself ready to kill myself again I would, without a word to anyone I know, delete all my social media/net presence and hop down to Mexico. I'd get a new fancy credit card/loan and take out everything in cash beforehand despite the potentially crippling interest (you don't need all this money to do this but if you can get it, it helps. Might make you slightly more traceable though), then wander down there and literally leave my old life behind. That life would be over to me anyhow because moments before making the "final decision" I was ready to be dead to it anyway.
I'd wander to the villages that no one cares to know exists, prove myself with some hard work and convenient amnesia, meet and marry a cute Mexican girl, and maybe start a family or just live a simpler life in a place so far removed. Ditch my credentials and learn Spanish, get so tan that people couldn't tell me apart. No one in those villages have ID or official documents: that's why it's so easy to vanish into the third world. The biggest mistake people who get caught is to stay in large cities. I saw that pirate-bay guy get arrested in Cambodia 3 years back with my own eyes at the Cadillac Bar in Phnom Penh. I garuntee that if he went full-jungle mode and escaped to live in the countryside he would have both A) never been found, and B) maybe find a better life. All I'm saying is this: Yeah life will have it's tough moments in the nameless villages but at least you will be somewhere else.
Best part is, it's fairly common. People vanish and do this shit all the time. There are only a small handful of cases where anyone has gotten "caught" and usually it wouldn't happen for 40-50 years after the fact: even in the US (ever hear about that prison escapee who became a pillar of his community that he escaped to? left when he was 30, got caught in his late 80's)! When it comes down to it, they can tack as much bureaucratic documentation to us as they want but in the end we are all randomly occurring organic life forms. I bet you anything there is a dude somewhere a thousand miles away who looks like the spitting image of me; maybe even has my same exact name too.
I know this makes the problem of suicide sound easier than it actually is, but for me I find comfort in this. I know the second I find the pills in my hand, or the rope around my neck again; this is what I'm gonna do.
--------------------
BILL NYE IS A LIZARD. THEY'RE ALL LIZARDS!

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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: 28064212]
#22134637 - 08/24/15 09:23 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Everyday. Exacerbated by going full sobriety.
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IISkuNkII



Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 7,784
Loc:
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: 28064212]
#22134654 - 08/24/15 09:27 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Perhaps frequently i would say.I tend to get active at that point.That's a major problem,you arnt staying active enough,instead allowing negative thoughts to flow on.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: IISkuNkII]
#22134728 - 08/24/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Im just tired all of the time. And no matter how hard i try life has been shitting on me recently. Things go good for a second and when you finally feel comfortable BAM! More fucking bullshit. God can a person get a break.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Enjoywho]
#22134752 - 08/24/15 09:53 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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But i just laugh a lot. I'm always laughing even when shit is being dumb. I don't take life very seriouslu and i love talking to people. I meet new people every day and i love it.
My gf and i went out to eat and this guy behind us was like whatsup dude long time no see. I have no clue who the hell he is. Not much man how ya been. I can't walk down the road without someone recognizing me. And i never remember them it's hard to with the sheer amount of people i chit chat with on a daily basis.
But that's my goal in life. I love talking and i love people. It makes me feel like. I honestly don't even know how to explain it. I feel completely alone all the time. I hate not talking to other people. Everybody has a story to tell and i love it.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (08/24/15 10:12 AM)
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Enjoywho]
#22139968 - 08/25/15 09:46 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Some time ago I was having a really tough go. Started when I got truly royally screwed over a live/work organic farm management position. Had nowhere to live and had to move in with my extremely hot tempered and mentally screwy father I hadnt lived with in 10+ years.
He was absolutely hell to be around, broke with me and him in an old roach infested tiny trailer in the middle of nowhere.
Got to the point that I was taking meds just to sleep as much as possible and was suicidal when awake.
Then I discovered poppy seeds which gave me a positive outlook and the ability to change evetything. Got my shit together, went through withdraws, money right (lost some weight, too), started flipping cell phones and other stuff.
Got out of the hole and never went back. Good example of how drugs can be used intelligently to get.shit.done.
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Enjoywho]
#22140031 - 08/25/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said: Im just tired all of the time. And no matter how hard i try life has been shitting on me recently. Things go good for a second and when you finally feel comfortable BAM! More fucking bullshit. God can a person get a break.
I understand this and the post you made und underneath it. The only thing that keeps me from really "pulling the trigger" is that I know it would crush my Dad and drive him into the depths of mental illness.
I just want one fucking thing to go right and not be a hassle.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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usually like every handful of months when life sux
luckily life's been pretty gr8 this summer though, hopefully it stays that way
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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DirdyD


Registered: 12/01/14
Posts: 1,650
Last seen: 3 years, 9 days
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Re: How often do you think of suicide? [Re: Sheekle]
#22140317 - 08/25/15 10:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Id go as far as to say if youre facing deep depression everyday and dont want to take meds that leave you damn near impotent, buy truly unwashed poppy seeds and make tea every morning.
It works out to about $200 a month if im remembering correctly. Dont be a dumbass and take more than what you start with, which is usually 1-1.5 cups. Theyre so good that there's barely a tolerance build.
I might catch some hell for this, but it beats the hell out of taking poisonous meds that make you an impotent zombie for the rest of your life or whatever. People that havent experienced the depths of hell one goes through during depression just dont understand in the least.
Poppy seeds beat the hell out of pills or heroin and the effects last into the next morning. Cheaper and better than that kratom garbage by far.
If I had to choose between living a depressive life and drinking tea every morning for the rest of my life, you damn skippy im making that tea. If youve got the potential to do great things and be truly successful, they can hell make that happen without financial ruin.
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