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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Someone took my motherfucking stapler.
#22129005 - 08/22/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Fuck night shift jobs. Fuck weddings.
It's all boring and paperwork until a drunk groomsman steals your stapler. I saw the bastard do it on camera too, but now I have to find him and the stapler, and get it back.
Motherfucking fuckers.
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 20 hours, 13 minutes
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] 1
#22129067 - 08/22/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] 1
#22129092 - 08/22/15 11:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my stapler go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
Seriously who steals a stapler (at least when it's not intra-office.)
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/22/15 11:10 PM)
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] 1
#22129105 - 08/22/15 11:13 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Is it his wedding? Make a huge fucking speech. Grab the mic and say if he can't be trusted on his own wedding day, the girl shouldn't go through with it. If it's not his wedding, just staple his ears together.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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impatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard



Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: EllisDSox] 2
#22129211 - 08/22/15 11:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Find out who he is and be the staple stalker. Staple all of his tires. Staple it all!
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impatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard



Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: impatientguy]
#22129220 - 08/22/15 11:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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 This oughta do it...
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trippinballs420
Samall Johnson



Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: MorphinTime]
#22129244 - 08/23/15 12:01 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
MorphinTime said:

thats the first thing that came to mind when i read the OP milton getting his stapler taken by lumburgh
-------------------- ModestMouse said: "Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
"
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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He mysteriously put it back when I wasn't looking......but then a miracle came.....it was beautiful....
The bride called down.....she said "We have like 30 bottles left, and 5 cases of beer, do you want some?"
So now I have 3 half gallons of smirnoff, 2 half gallons of lady bligh, 2 bottles of gin, 6 bottles of wine, 2 cases of bud light, and a case of labatt, plus 5 2 liters, 75 plastic cups, and a case of pepsi and sprite.
Ummmmm.
I may be getting drunk.
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trippinballs420
Samall Johnson



Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#22129460 - 08/23/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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was it a swingline?
-------------------- ModestMouse said: "Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
"
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impatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard



Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#22129470 - 08/23/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Damn what a load. And for free! I don't like alcohol much but I don't see how anyone could turn that down. Nice score bro!
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 10 minutes
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#22129471 - 08/23/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You've got enough alcohol to achieve black out status for 2 weeks or more.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Dr.Satan
Mad Professor



Registered: 06/26/15
Posts: 2,182
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Shroomslip]
#22129477 - 08/23/15 02:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Nice! Glad to hear you came out on top
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Quote:
trippinballs420 said: was it a swingline?
They would not know the wrath of a 6'6 aspie ginger working midnights during a wedding if it was a swingline.
And I know I will be making some bloody marys the second I get off work.
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trippinballs420
Samall Johnson



Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#22129501 - 08/23/15 02:50 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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i wonder if swingline still makes that style stapler and if it had anything to do with office space
and what time do you get off? people should be passed out til pretty late after a wedding
-------------------- ModestMouse said: "Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
"
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Movie trivia.. Swingline never made a red stapler. It was a custom order prop for the movie. When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Quote:
trippinballs420 said:
i wonder if swingline still makes that style stapler and if it had anything to do with office space
and what time do you get off? people should be passed out til pretty late after a wedding
I work 10-12 hr shifts. I got about 5 hours left.
Weddings done been asleep thank god. And my trunk is FULL of booze and soda. They even gave me a mini fridge.
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Swyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#22129534 - 08/23/15 03:23 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Of course I'm going to set the building on fireQuote:
Amanita86 said: Movie trivia.. Swingline never made a red stapler. It was a custom order prop for the movie. When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them 
No one needs a red stapler Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?
-------------------- If you build it they will shrug.
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trippinballs420
Samall Johnson



Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Amanita86]
#22129545 - 08/23/15 03:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Amanita86 said: Movie trivia.. Swingline never made a red stapler. It was a custom order prop for the movie. When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them 
haha thats funny cause thats what i think of when i hear swingline - that red one that milton had
-------------------- ModestMouse said: "Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
"
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Swyfty Swyf] 1
#22129546 - 08/23/15 03:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Swyfty Swyf said: Of course I'm going to set the building on fireQuote:
Amanita86 said: Movie trivia.. Swingline never made a red stapler. It was a custom order prop for the movie. When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them 
No one needs a red stapler Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?

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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Swyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Amanita86]
#22129553 - 08/23/15 03:43 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Amanita86 said:
Quote:
Swyfty Swyf said: Of course I'm going to set the building on fireQuote:
Amanita86 said: Movie trivia.. Swingline never made a red stapler. It was a custom order prop for the movie. When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them 
No one needs a red stapler Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?


Yeah we're gonna need you to just move your desk down to the boiler room OK? Thanks a bunch
-------------------- If you build it they will shrug.
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Amanita86
OTD Keymaster


Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Swyfty Swyf]
#22129578 - 08/23/15 04:09 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is the third time in four months they've switched my desk.. I used to watch the squirrels, and they would be merry.. but I told them, I'll, I'll set the building on fire..
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Orange clock, pencil "They threw me off the hay truck about noon..."
*Mark 15:34  Gam zeh ya’avor...
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
#24499491 - 07/21/17 07:21 PM (6 years, 6 months ago) |
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In case you're wondering where your new stapler went
I found your camp last night
Good luck finding a job without a stapler
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