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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Someone took my motherfucking stapler.
    #22129005 - 08/22/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Fuck night shift jobs. Fuck weddings. 

It's all boring and paperwork until a drunk groomsman steals your stapler.  I saw the bastard do it on camera too, but now I have to find him and the stapler, and get it back.


Motherfucking fuckers.


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OfflineMorphinTime
Tulpa
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Registered: 09/05/11
Posts: 7,151
Loc: Angel Grove
Last seen: 22 hours, 34 minutes
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #22129067 - 08/22/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)



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OfflineShroomslip
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I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 56 minutes
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #22129092 - 08/22/15 11:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my stapler go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.




Seriously who steals a stapler (at least when it's not intra-office.)


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (08/22/15 11:10 PM)


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InvisibleEllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #22129105 - 08/22/15 11:13 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Is it his wedding? Make a huge fucking speech. Grab the mic and say if he can't be trusted on his own wedding day, the girl shouldn't go through with it. If it's not his wedding, just staple his ears together.


--------------------
Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.


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Invisibleimpatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard
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Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: EllisDSox] * 2
    #22129211 - 08/22/15 11:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Find out who he is and be the staple stalker. Staple all of his tires. Staple it all!


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Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177



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Invisibleimpatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard
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Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: impatientguy]
    #22129220 - 08/22/15 11:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)


This oughta do it...


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Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177



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Invisibletrippinballs420
Samall Johnson
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO Flag
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: MorphinTime]
    #22129244 - 08/23/15 12:01 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

MorphinTime said:





thats the first thing that came to mind when i read the OP :lolsy: milton getting his stapler taken by lumburgh


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ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: trippinballs420]
    #22129446 - 08/23/15 02:11 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

He mysteriously put it back when I wasn't looking......but then a miracle came.....it was beautiful....


The bride called down.....she said "We have like 30 bottles left, and 5 cases of beer, do you want some?"


So now I have 3 half gallons of smirnoff, 2 half gallons of lady bligh, 2 bottles of gin, 6 bottles of wine, 2 cases of bud light, and a case of labatt, plus 5 2 liters, 75 plastic cups, and a case of pepsi and sprite.


Ummmmm.


I may be getting drunk.


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Invisibletrippinballs420
Samall Johnson
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO Flag
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
    #22129460 - 08/23/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

was it a swingline?


--------------------
ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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Invisibleimpatientguy
Ganjalf a very mighty lab wizard
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/26/14
Posts: 5,054
Loc: USA
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
    #22129470 - 08/23/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Damn what a load. And for free! I don't like alcohol much but I don't see how anyone could turn that down. Nice score bro!


--------------------
Super clean spore printing method: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/5276177



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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 56 minutes
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
    #22129471 - 08/23/15 02:29 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:shocked: You've got enough alcohol to achieve black out status for 2 weeks or more.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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InvisibleDr.Satan
Mad Professor
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/26/15
Posts: 2,182
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22129477 - 08/23/15 02:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Nice! Glad to hear you came out on top :raisemyglass:


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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: trippinballs420]
    #22129487 - 08/23/15 02:40 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

trippinballs420 said:
was it a swingline?





They would not know the wrath of a 6'6 aspie ginger working midnights during a wedding if it was a swingline.



And I know I will be making some bloody marys the second I get off work.


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Invisibletrippinballs420
Samall Johnson
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Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO Flag
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
    #22129501 - 08/23/15 02:50 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: i wonder if swingline still makes that style stapler and if it had anything to do with office space

and what time do you get off? people should be passed out til pretty late after a wedding


--------------------
ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: trippinballs420]
    #22129528 - 08/23/15 03:15 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Movie trivia..  Swingline never made a red stapler.  It was a custom order prop for the movie.  When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them :cookiemonster:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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Invisiblevandago
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Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: trippinballs420]
    #22129532 - 08/23/15 03:19 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

trippinballs420 said:
:lol: i wonder if swingline still makes that style stapler and if it had anything to do with office space

and what time do you get off? people should be passed out til pretty late after a wedding





I work 10-12 hr shifts.  I got about 5 hours left.

Weddings done been asleep thank god.  And my trunk is FULL of booze and soda.  They even gave me a mini fridge.


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: vandago]
    #22129534 - 08/23/15 03:23 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Of course I'm going to set the building on fire
Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Movie trivia..  Swingline never made a red stapler.  It was a custom order prop for the movie.  When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them :cookiemonster:



No one needs a red stapler
Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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Invisibletrippinballs420
Samall Johnson
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/17/12
Posts: 11,903
Loc: CO Flag
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Amanita86]
    #22129545 - 08/23/15 03:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Movie trivia..  Swingline never made a red stapler.  It was a custom order prop for the movie.  When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them :cookiemonster:



haha thats funny cause thats what i think of when i hear swingline - that red one that milton had


--------------------
ModestMouse said:
"Much love for all of the regs here that's all I got to say
:goodnight: "

:heart:


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InvisibleAmanita86
OTD Keymaster
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Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 89,464
Loc: hades
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Swyfty Swyf] * 1
    #22129546 - 08/23/15 03:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Swyfty Swyf said:
Of course I'm going to set the building on fire
Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Movie trivia..  Swingline never made a red stapler.  It was a custom order prop for the movie.  When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them :cookiemonster:



No one needs a red stapler
Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?




:mygoditsfullofstars:


--------------------
:mushroom2:Orange clock, pencil:bouncysmoke:
"They threw me off the hay truck about noon...":fishing:
:mushroom2:*Mark 15:34:levitate::mushroom2::blueninja:
Gam zeh ya’avor...:sunny:


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InvisibleSwyfty Swyf
Shrugsy Shrugs


Registered: 02/20/09
Posts: 7,113
Loc: North Alabama
Re: Someone took my motherfucking stapler. [Re: Amanita86]
    #22129553 - 08/23/15 03:43 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Quote:

Swyfty Swyf said:
Of course I'm going to set the building on fire
Quote:

Amanita86 said:
Movie trivia..  Swingline never made a red stapler.  It was a custom order prop for the movie.  When the movie came out there were so many requests for a red swingline stapler, that they started making them :cookiemonster:



No one needs a red stapler
Yeah, here I'll just take this OK?




:mygoditsfullofstars:



Yeah we're gonna need you to just move your desk down to the boiler room
OK?
Thanks a bunch


--------------------
If you build it they will shrug.
:shrug:


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