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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help
#22124553 - 08/21/15 09:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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So lately my boyfriends good friend has been hanging out every night we even hung out alone the other day for like 6 hours. Anyways I have a huge crush on the guy I have since we first met. I've been dating my bf for 4 years this August. I love him to bits but I'm so tired of his jealousy the parental controls on the tv the whole 9 yards guys. But i live every part of him besides that.
Me and his friend have a lot in common and my boyfriend told me the other day that his friend said I'm hot.... Idk it's just been strange with certain comments they have both made a 3 some was brought up yesterday and my boyfriend said he's glad that we (me and his friend are compatable ) his friend sAud today that he took all my bra and panties out of my laundry like idk it's hard for me to act normal around him like not all giddy and gushy
Any advice guys I sorta wish I went out with my boyfriends friend but we didn't meet til after me and my boyfriend started dating I know that im not gunna like break up with my boyfriend for him I don't want to be that type of girl but I can't helping feelings
Pls any advice is welcome thanks
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 15
#22124560 - 08/21/15 09:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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They brought up 3 some. I say get pounded till your insides fall out.
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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MajickMuffin
Edible Cult


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 4,345
Loc: North
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22124565 - 08/21/15 09:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your feelings are your feelings  Dont be with a guy you do not love 
Do what will make you happy
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: MajickMuffin] 8
#22124566 - 08/21/15 09:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just be sure to video tape the 3 some and post it here
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: MajickMuffin]
#22124573 - 08/21/15 09:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am happy with my boyfriend most of the time it's just the jealousy that drives me insane
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Janky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22124575 - 08/21/15 09:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said: They brought up 3 some. I say get pounded till your insides fall out.
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Asshat331
PM me if you game on PC




Registered: 05/11/14
Posts: 1,159
Last seen: 3 months, 11 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22124577 - 08/21/15 09:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said: They brought up 3 some. I say get pounded till your insides fall out.
This.
-------------------- Things change fast, but this too shall pass Better carve it on your forehead or tattoo it on your ass Cause who can tell, when the clock strikes twelve If today’s become tomorrow or if it’s all just gone to hell
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Janky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Janky Tits]
#22124580 - 08/21/15 09:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Really this could be your dream come true. Get shagged by your boyfriend and his best friend lol. Sounds like a fun time for you
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Asshat331]
#22124589 - 08/21/15 09:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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By boyfriend got pissed when I brought that up at the beginning of our relationship Like he wanted to break up legit
He always says he wants to break up over stupid shit but he never actually will
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124593 - 08/21/15 09:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's just that his friend is one of those rugged manly men don't give a fuck about anything really loyal like sorta a bad boy which attracts him to be and he had this cute accent but yeah
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MajickMuffin
Edible Cult


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 4,345
Loc: North
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124594 - 08/21/15 09:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
burningstar06 said:
He always says he wants to break up over stupid shit but he never actually will
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 55 minutes
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124609 - 08/21/15 09:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well let's see, he's got severe jealousy and control issues, yet has hinted at threesomes.. Those two things aren't really compatible. If he's serious about the threesome, then what is probably going to happen is he's going to go into a jealous rage later on down the line when he gets angry and use it as ammo to throw in your face. Make of that what you will.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124610 - 08/21/15 09:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was in the same situation a few years back, only I was the boyfriends best friend who the girl was swooning over.
If you're all mature enough to handle it, you can just fuck on the side. We pulled it off, got it out of our system and we're all still great friends. My friend knows I fucked his girl and everything, we talked about it, its cool.
3some is obviously superior. Those can also work out totally fine with mature people.
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JvF
Fletcher Detcher


Registered: 02/13/14
Posts: 2,662
Loc: Chicago
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Psilosopherr] 6
#22124624 - 08/21/15 09:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
rbalzer said: I was in the same situation a few years back, only I was the boyfriends best friend who the girl was swooning over.
If you're all mature enough to handle it, you can just fuck on the side. We pulled it off, got it out of our system and we're all still great friends. My friend knows I fucked his girl and everything, we talked about it, its cool.
Your friend is a huge pussy
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Psilosopherr]
#22124632 - 08/21/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't know I can't tell if he really likes me like that or is just being friendly he just said were friends and that if anybody fucks with me to tell him and he will fuck me up
I feel like the whole messing around on the side thing wouldn't end well to be honest
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RanOutOfWeed
Sleepy



Registered: 12/29/13
Posts: 2,975
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124660 - 08/21/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Like you said, your boyfriend is acting like a beta and you're losing your emotional connection to him(falling out of love) He probably stopped courting you
Talk to him about it and if he won't change then move on and possibly date this other dude. Could just be the the relationship with your boyfriend is at an end.
He acts like a weak jealous bitch, so his fears have now become reality. This is the vibe he put into the universe so that's what he'll get from it
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124662 - 08/21/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What's the point of having a ladies form if ladies don't use it for ladies issues?
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22124672 - 08/21/15 09:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ehh the pub gets more traffic soooo yeah
@ran out of weed Yeah we don't have sex very often anymore like once a month 3 times tops but usually once
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Janky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22124673 - 08/21/15 09:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your bf sounds like a huge puss and a overly attached and pressed dude.Just tell him you aren't into him and are into his friend and fuck his friend.
Edited by Janky Tits (08/21/15 09:44 PM)
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Psilosopherr
A psilly goose



Registered: 02/15/12
Posts: 12,278
Last seen: 1 month, 10 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: JvF]
#22124675 - 08/21/15 09:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
jfischer218 said:
Quote:
rbalzer said: I was in the same situation a few years back, only I was the boyfriends best friend who the girl was swooning over.
If you're all mature enough to handle it, you can just fuck on the side. We pulled it off, got it out of our system and we're all still great friends. My friend knows I fucked his girl and everything, we talked about it, its cool.
Your friend is a huge pussy
I think my friend merely realizes that monogamy is unrealistic/unnatural. Personally I wouldn't care about such things in his shoes, but I'm different from most people in that way. Infidelity just doesn't seem wrong to me.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124678 - 08/21/15 09:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
burningstar06 said: I am happy with my boyfriend most of the time it's just the jealousy that drives me insane
Tell him to stop being so jealous. Tell him that usually the most jealous ones are actually cheaters that are projecting onto their partner (tis true.) Ask him why he is so jealous.
And if you really are happy with everything else then work on this problem with him. If you really are happy with him then gtfo from his friend. You are only going to have one or the other. A side piece and a 3some sound like terrible ideas.
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Free time is the only time
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124695 - 08/21/15 09:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
burningstar06 said: Ehh the pub gets more traffic soooo yeah
@ran out of weed Yeah we don't have sex very often anymore like once a month 3 times tops but usually once
sex once a month????????????
If you come through ill help you out with that lol
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Janky Tits]
#22124703 - 08/21/15 09:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Xplicit RelapzZ said: Your bf sounds like a huge puss and a overly attached and pressed dude.Just tell him you aren't into him and are into his friend and fuck his friend.
Lol I wish
@cookiecrumbles
Yeah I've tried to talk to him about it but it ends up in a huge fight and we get nowhere he's so effin stubborn it's a touchy subject like even asking him to take the parental controls off the tv it ends up in a huge fight and they never come off. He took me off one day and brother came I've and watched one of those step up movies and he freaked out and called me a slut for watching it and put the parental controls back on it
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124707 - 08/21/15 09:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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We used to mess around like 3 times a day though it just gradually got to be less and less
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 2
#22124719 - 08/21/15 09:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Am I the only one that sees this parental control thing on the tv... weird... like psycho weird
troll?
Edited by luvdemboomers (08/21/15 09:55 PM)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124727 - 08/21/15 09:57 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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arent u a dude?, why do u need a bra?..
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22124730 - 08/21/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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We're all hanging out right now we all been drinking and shit too he said we shoulda went to his house so he wouldn't have to drive home drunk and we could sleep over and go home in the morning
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WaffleBear
Stranger


Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 233
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Janky Tits] 2
#22124731 - 08/21/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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If your bf isn't 100% leet why the hell be in a relationship? idk what you're doing, you should be sucking ur bfs friends dink right now, and when that whole thing flops get a better/richer beta and do the same thing to that guy, suck that guys best friends alpha-dink. women not knowing how to wimmin... I don't believe it. OP must be like 14 yo and have no girlfriends to guide her thru life. Basic game OP, you're sleepin dude.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22124733 - 08/21/15 09:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
burningstar06 said:
Quote:
Xplicit RelapzZ said: Your bf sounds like a huge puss and a overly attached and pressed dude.Just tell him you aren't into him and are into his friend and fuck his friend.
Lol I wish
@cookiecrumbles
Yeah I've tried to talk to him about it but it ends up in a huge fight and we get nowhere he's so effin stubborn it's a touchy subject like even asking him to take the parental controls off the tv it ends up in a huge fight and they never come off. He took me off one day and brother came I've and watched one of those step up movies and he freaked out and called me a slut for watching it and put the parental controls back on it
Step 1 Tell him it's over Step 2 Date his friend Step 3 ??? Step 4 Profit
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124737 - 08/21/15 09:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Okay yeah your boyfriend sounds like a control freak. It sounds really unhealthy.
I remember someone saying something to me once. When someone says "I love every part of them except..." then that's a problem. Because in love you accept someone for their flaws if they are acceptable. This controlling jealousy doesn't sound acceptable at all.
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Free time is the only time
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124739 - 08/21/15 09:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Something in the OP caught my eye... Parental controls on the TV? What's that about?
Anyway, given this thread and your other posts about your bf, I'd say that you might just think about throwing in the towel on this relationship. A lot of couples stay together because it's easier than breaking up, but is that the kind of relationship you want? I'm not saying to pursue something with the friend, but it seems like you and the bf either have to both put in a lot of work to fix what's wrong with your current setup or just call it a day.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22124745 - 08/21/15 10:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
luvdemboomers said: Am I the only one that sees this parental control thing on the tv... weird... like psycho weird
troll?
We can agree on something.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: WaffleBear]
#22124750 - 08/21/15 10:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm a 23 year old girl thank you very much and I am not trolling I am serious and no I actually don't have any friends that are girls I moved a lot as a kid I went to a different school for each grade so I don't have any life long friends
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124764 - 08/21/15 10:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Alright, I read a bit more of the thread where you say you watched a shitty pg-13 rated dance movie & dude called you a slut and put parental controls on the TV. That's fucking crazy. That's not how a good bf treats his lady, and I can't imagine why you'd put up with it. I assure you that you can do better. Try being single for a while.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 55 minutes
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings] 2
#22124771 - 08/21/15 10:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's a bit beyond not how a man treats a lady. That's how a psychotic lunatic treats a lady. If I were in her shoes and broke up with him, I'd probably just go ahead and start the process of filing the restraining order right off the bat.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/21/15 10:09 PM)
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude] 1
#22124775 - 08/21/15 10:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said: Just be sure to video tape the 3 some and post it here
Neither of them sound mature enough to be able to handle it but yes, so much yes.
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Psilosopherr]
#22124811 - 08/21/15 10:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
rbalzer said: Infidelity just doesn't seem wrong to me. 
So if you came home from work early one day and your girlfriend or wife was getting a train run on her by three of your homeys -- you'd be cool with it?
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22124821 - 08/21/15 10:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Something in the OP caught my eye... Parental controls on the TV? What's that about?

that was definitely a wtf moment in the OP
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Alright, I read a bit more of the thread where you say you watched a shitty pg-13 rated dance movie & dude called you a slut and put parental controls on the TV. That's fucking crazy.
yeah that's fucking nuts
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Niffla]
#22124836 - 08/21/15 10:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm honestly a little afraid for OPs safety at this point. That is not even close to normal behavior.
Then again, it's possible all of this is his attempt to get her to break up with him so he doesn't have to be the bad guy.
1000 percent relevant to OPs situation
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/21/15 10:27 PM)
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Niffla] 2
#22124850 - 08/21/15 10:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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And I just underscored what she was watching to show the lunacy of it. In reality, it doesn't matter what it is, from Disney movie to hardcore porn, she is not 7 years old, and her bf isn't her dad.
Burningstar06: this relationship sucks, get out while youre still young and have no kids with this guy. Ovary up and just leave, as scary as it may seem.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124922 - 08/21/15 10:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't know I've been thinking about our relationship a lot latley o really do love everything else about him and what makes it worse is that he's the only guy over ever intimately been with. I'm going through a lot mentally right now and I don't know what would happen if we broke up I'd probably have a mental break down and I dont have any where to go no family will take me in, my only option would be a shelter or living in New Hampshire with my bio mom and little sister but things are difficult between my bio mom and I. I can't even talk when I see her words just won't come out she left me when I was 2 and did a lot of bad things during visitation that really fucked me up. So yeah
I don't know I love him to bits when he's not acting like a psycho.... I guess I'm just used to being treated like that because of my childhood and I have really bad self esteem he's been there for me through a lot of tough things. I'd be devastated I dont think have it in me to end it with him I guess I'm afraid of what he would do.
I'm very stuck in life right now I have a lot going on we are buying a car from somebody right now we owe $200 more on it but I've been the one making the payments but we both paid for the down payment together so... Idk what to do I really do like his friend though (sigghhhhh)
Life blows
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124950 - 08/21/15 10:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You may note even like him as much as you think you do. He's familiar and for the most part you're comfortable with him. So your brain and emotion is going to go very far to convince you that you like him. You will live in flat out denial until something major happens and you can no longer hide from this shit. You'll finally have to just accept the fact that this isn't working.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22124955 - 08/21/15 11:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Have some patience. We all go through those moments in life where we can see the end but have to wait for it.
Get a job, save up some money; and then get the fuck away from that dude.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22124959 - 08/21/15 11:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomslip said: You may note even like him as much as you think you do. He's familiar and for the most part you're comfortable with him. So your brain and emotion is going to go very far to convince you that you like him. You will live in flat out denial until something major happens and you can no longer hide from this shit. You'll finally have to just accept the fact that this isn't working.

The fact that this is her first serious relationship makes this even more pronounced.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22124974 - 08/21/15 11:05 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124982 - 08/21/15 11:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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We're fighting now he's making fun of my family and my dad and me
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22124990 - 08/21/15 11:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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suck his friends dick asap
--------------------
"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124993 - 08/21/15 11:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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If I leave I have no money and nowhere to go we save money together and what would I do about the car I've pai$600 for so far and owe $200 on ? Am I supposed to cut my losses? I have no idea what to do in these situations
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124995 - 08/21/15 11:11 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You probably shouldn't leave right now then. Like I said, have some patience before you leave so you can do it on better circumstances.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22124997 - 08/21/15 11:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22124999 - 08/21/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Leaving your first serious love is a very very hard thing to do. Especially when you still love them.
I feel your pain.
Be strong. You'll make it through this.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22125011 - 08/21/15 11:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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um parental controls? wtf are you talking about?
your boyfriend sounds controlling. If he hasnt already isolated you from your friends and your family its coming.
if he is jealous and insecure and you dont give him reason to be, its likely he is the one cheating and he is insecure because of his own behavior and guilty conscience. My suggestion, find out of he is cheating on you, if so bang his friend. And his brother, and his father, etc.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
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Loc: washington state
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 2
#22125019 - 08/21/15 11:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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you need to get your shit together. Wise up woman. Never depend on a man to meet your financial needs. That leaves you dependent on him.
Id rather live under a bridge than live under a mans thumb who puts me through hell or tries to control me. LOL good fucking luck. Id make his life living fucking hell. By the time im done they want to kill themselves, some try.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22125020 - 08/21/15 11:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'd say it's time to call it quits. Work on finding a way out. Ask friends if you could stay with them for awhile while you get your life straightened out, find a roommate or something. You said only you are paying for the car (minus the down payment) so obviously you have some kind of income. Through your other posts and these, there really isn't much a relationship going on. You just have an overbearing roommate.
Of course, it'd be great for all of us to see this for ourselves to make better/more clear judgements of the situation, because there are two sides to every story, but from what you've given, it's time to move on.
This shit is likely to just keep snow balling and getting worse. He doesn't seem to have much interest in fixing the problem.
As for the car, who's name is on the title? His, yours or both? Try to talk him into letting you pay what he paid in the down payment. If that don't work, ask for him to pay what you've paid into it. Failing both of those, take it to small claims court. If literally all he's done is make the down payment, you have a good shot at having the car awarded to you. Laws related to this shit vary from state to state though. But having the title only in your name, and you alone making the payments, it's a pretty solid case the car is "yours".
--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22125069 - 08/21/15 11:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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My heart is aching </3 .....
I have to go to bed now or try to anyways I have work in the morning
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sprinkles] 1
#22125076 - 08/21/15 11:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: Id make his life living fucking hell. By the time im done they want to kill themselves, some try.
You sound like quite the catch.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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sprinkles
otd president


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Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22125100 - 08/21/15 11:45 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Teach that bitch a lesson he'll never forget. Have his friend take him to a movie or for a guys day out. Then you pack your shit into the car and fucking GO. Immediately change your phone number. Go stay some place safe at a friends house, dont tell his friend where you are going yet. You can bang him later. You will never have a relationship with that boy if you cheat on your current man with him. He will never respect or trust you.
Anyway... Get another job and be happy. If you do decide to have contact with at some point explain why you left and tell him you date a cop now so dont come knocking or stalking or he'll get shot in the face. Thats what I did! Went from a stalker to a cop. needless to say he wasnt hanging around anymore and was scared to death to drive anywhere near my area. Where as before he would watch me and wait for me to leave from work, home, wherever.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22125104 - 08/21/15 11:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Acaterpillar said:
Quote:
sprinkles said: Id make his life living fucking hell. By the time im done they want to kill themselves, some try.
You sound like quite the catch.

sounds like something a bitter, lonely, and unloved person would say.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sprinkles] 2
#22125121 - 08/21/15 11:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: My suggestion, find out of he is cheating on you, if so bang his friend. And his brother, and his father, etc.
Bitter you say?
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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MajickMuffin
Edible Cult


Registered: 05/28/14
Posts: 4,345
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22125705 - 08/22/15 06:57 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Okay yeah your boyfriend sounds like a control freak. It sounds really unhealthy.
I remember someone saying something to me once. When someone says "I love every part of them except..." then that's a problem. Because in love you accept someone for their flaws if they are acceptable. This controlling jealousy doesn't sound acceptable at all.
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MajickMuffin
Edible Cult


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Posts: 4,345
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: MajickMuffin]
#22125712 - 08/22/15 07:00 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
MajickMuffin said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Okay yeah your boyfriend sounds like a control freak. It sounds really unhealthy.
I remember someone saying something to me once. When someone says "I love every part of them except..." then that's a problem. Because in love you accept someone for their flaws if they are acceptable. This controlling jealousy doesn't sound acceptable at all.
In my first two immature longer than year long relationships I was jealously controlling, and that ruined both of the relationships for me.
I didn't realize how I was until long after it was all over. Realizing how I was, I would never act like that in any way again, because its not right.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 6
#22125935 - 08/22/15 08:27 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP, I understand how difficult this is for you. It sounds like you're in a severely dysfunctional relationship, and you want to get out of it but are afraid of the tremendous leap of faith required to pull it off. I've been in a very similar situation myself, and I can honestly tell you that getting yourself away from this guy will be beyond worth it. You are still young and you have no children, so the breakup will be simple. Not easy, but simple.
I know how scary it is to strike out on your own with no real support system and only the vaguest idea of a plan. But believe me, you are capable of a lot more than you think. Once you make the decision to take your fate into your own hands, you start seeing opportunities everywhere. I'm not going to tell you that it'll be easy, because it probably won't, but it will be liberating and empowering. Leaving this relationship may just be the best thing you've ever done for yourself.
As for the other dude, I feel like the feelings you're having towards him probably have more to do with the excitement of the idea of freedom from your bad relationship than actually wanting to be with him. I'm sure you are attracted to him, but I think the attraction may have a lot to do with the fact that he's not your boyfriend, and not necessarily so much to do with who this other guy is. Just something to consider.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22126038 - 08/22/15 09:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
As for the other dude, I feel like the feelings you're having towards him probably have more to do with the excitement of the idea of freedom from your bad relationship than actually wanting to be with him. I'm sure you are attracted to him, but I think the attraction may have a lot to do with the fact that he's not your boyfriend, and not necessarily so much to do with who this other guy is. Just something to consider.
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22126039 - 08/22/15 09:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Run away from both of them. Your boyfriend is a controlling asshole and his friend will likely want to "hit it and quit it" leaving you with even more feelings for him. It's your boyfriend's friend. Also, this is better off in the ladies' forum. It will decrease your chances of typical male responses from typical males encouraging a threesome and to suck your boyfriend's dick.
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: bukkake]
#22126110 - 08/22/15 09:30 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Girl you need to clit up. Seriously. Get away from this dude. A crappy movie and you're a slut? What the crap. Anywhere really is better than where you are. I would seriously save up more money and try to bounce. If you can't take it anymore then maybe you could ask someone you work with if you can crash at theirs. Where is your father? You said you don't get along with your mom, so I was just wondering. And honestly, you could still go back to your mom's just to save up money. You don't have to love the woman but you just need a place to stay to move on. Man I feel for you. But don't be stupid. This is unhealthy in the little bit you've mentioned.
Edited by pachoo (08/22/15 09:33 AM)
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22126112 - 08/22/15 09:31 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: OP, I understand how difficult this is for you. It sounds like you're in a severely dysfunctional relationship, and you want to get out of it but are afraid of the tremendous leap of faith required to pull it off. I've been in a very similar situation myself, and I can honestly tell you that getting yourself away from this guy will be beyond worth it. You are still young and you have no children, so the breakup will be simple. Not easy, but simple.
I know how scary it is to strike out on your own with no real support system and only the vaguest idea of a plan. But believe me, you are capable of a lot more than you think. Once you make the decision to take your fate into your own hands, you start seeing opportunities everywhere. I'm not going to tell you that it'll be easy, because it probably won't, but it will be liberating and empowering. Leaving this relationship may just be the best thing you've ever done for yourself.
As for the other dude, I feel like the feelings you're having towards him probably have more to do with the excitement of the idea of freedom from your bad relationship than actually wanting to be with him. I'm sure you are attracted to him, but I think the attraction may have a lot to do with the fact that he's not your boyfriend, and not necessarily so much to do with who this other guy is. Just something to consider.
^^ This. I'd say have some sort of plan though. Don't just straight up "run away" with nothing.
I was in a similar situation to this too. At first the realization that it wasn't going to work goddamn near broke me (didn't have anywhere to go myself) but once I finally got away, it was the happiest I have ever been in my life.
Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you find your own happiness.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22126120 - 08/22/15 09:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm glad you got out of this kind of situation. I don't know what I would do if someone would be super controlling that I was dating.
Edited by pachoo (08/22/15 09:35 AM)
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo] 1
#22126272 - 08/22/15 10:27 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's harder than most people can comprehend. Love is a powerful thing... the human mind is a powerful thing. In bad and even abusive relationships there's an idea that "if I just do better then they would treat me better" and an overall general idea of "things will get better". And there's a load of denial that excuses their behavior or just tries to find ways to ignore it because, at some point, the mind becomes convinced that this person is one your life depends on.
It's not true. But it feels like that. It will feel like the entire world will fall apart if you leave that person, that you may as well be dead. But that's not true either.
In tarot the Death card is actually one of the most optimistic cards you can pull. When one thing ends another begins and the death of a bad relationship you were stuck in is nothing but a great new beginning.
Getting out of a life you made around a bad partner is only opening the first door to finding a new and better life. But you have to want a better life. You have to understand that you deserve a better life. No one walks out that door without that.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 2
#22126477 - 08/22/15 11:33 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I haven't read anything in this thread except for the OP, and please don't do anything with his best friend. Your girlfriend leaving you already sucks (not saying you shouldn't dump him if you want to) but if it's for one of your friends or if she does something with one of your friends it hurts soooo much more. I've had friends do that to me with my girl and while that says more about our friendship it still is something I wouldn't want to see anyone go through.
I'd say dump him if you don't want to be with him, but there will be other crushes so avoid his friends, it can give him lots of trust issues, especially if it's his best friend, and that I can say from experience.
Granted that if the dude truly is a best friend he'd say no and not want anything to do with it, but I'm sure your bf still trusts him as of now. Idk but even if you do like his friend, if you care about your boyfriend, don't go for his friends.
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JvF
Fletcher Detcher


Registered: 02/13/14
Posts: 2,662
Loc: Chicago
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22126504 - 08/22/15 11:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SirShroomsAlott said: I haven't read anything in this thread except for the OP, and please don't do anything with his best friend. Your girlfriend leaving you already sucks (not saying you shouldn't dump him if you want to) but if it's for one of your friends or if she does something with one of your friends it hurts soooo much more. I've had friends do that to me with my girl and while that says more about our friendship it still is something I wouldn't want to see anyone go through.
I'd say dump him if you don't want to be with him, but there will be other crushes so avoid his friends, it can give him lots of trust issues, especially if it's his best friend, and that I can say from experience.
Granted that if the dude truly is a best friend he'd say no and not want anything to do with it, but I'm sure your bf still trusts him as of now. Idk but even if you do like his friend, if you care about your boyfriend, don't go for his friends.
This. This is the first thing ive read in this thread that makes sense, wspecially as the boyfriend of a long term relationship.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22126512 - 08/22/15 11:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sounds like dude already has trust issues. Besides, no one is responsible for anyone else's happiness, nor anyone else's misery.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots] 1
#22126547 - 08/22/15 11:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't disagree with that, and I'm not saying she is obligated to make her choices based on her current BF's happiness especially if she wants to be done with him, but putting myself in that position I wouldn't want my friends to date the people they know I care about and while I don't know you I would think that you wouldn't want your friends to go after someone you've cared about and had a relationship with, especially if you still care about them.
She's probably young and it's just a crush, there will be others so it's not like her happiness is dependent on dating his friend and it would cause a lot more problems than it would solve IMO. I'm sure even OP would be way more upset if her bf dumped her and even if she wanted to break up she probably wouldn't be okay with him dating her best friend. It's kinda a do to others as you would have them do to you type of thing, if you wouldn't want it to happen to you why would you do it to someone else
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JvF
Fletcher Detcher


Registered: 02/13/14
Posts: 2,662
Loc: Chicago
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott] 1
#22126561 - 08/22/15 11:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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 For a community full of psychedelic users, empathy really seems to be lacking in the advice given
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: JvF]
#22126577 - 08/22/15 12:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
jfischer218 said:
 For a community full of psychedelic users, empathy really seems to be lacking in the advice given
Don't know what you're on about. I don't think anyone has seriously advised her to shack up with her bf's friend.
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Free time is the only time
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22126613 - 08/22/15 12:11 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I couldn't care less if my friends wanted to date my exes. I'd question their judgment, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22126629 - 08/22/15 12:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Fair enough, I guess I'd feel the same if I was the one who dumped them and then I wouldn't care if my friends went for them, but I know I wouldn't be okay with it if they dumped me and I still cared for them since that's what happened to me a long time ago and it hurt way more that way because I thought I was close with the dude. I guess it's just a matter of opinion in these situations
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Angel_Above
Nobody



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22126709 - 08/22/15 12:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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There is the known and you don't like it, and this unknown aspect you DON'T know at all but imagine you like.
If they are good friends... it won't end well for the two of them if you and the friend get together. maybe it would be good riddance that the bros don't talk anymore who knows.
But you are the wedge, you are the separating tool. Do what you will.
But as of this moment it seems you're into the IDEA of this guy you have a crush on. Yet reject the REALITY of the current dating situation. Could be a subconscious theme playing out indefinitely in your life who knows
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots] 1
#22126727 - 08/22/15 12:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: I couldn't care less if my friends wanted to date my exes. I'd question their judgment, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings.
You must compartmentalize your emotions well.
Envy? Pity? I dunno; Has that never backfired on you before?
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22126750 - 08/22/15 12:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Given some time I'd be okay with it too. But if they like broke up with me and I saw them with my friend about a week later I'd feel betrayed and I'd feel like my partner was just waiting to leave me so that they could get with my friend if they weren't cheating already.
But like a year or 2 or more? I might even be happy for them.
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Free time is the only time
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22126763 - 08/22/15 12:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's funny because the logical part of me says "Yeah, that makes total sense" But then the drunken emotional part of me stabs him in the eye and says "THAT'S MINE!!!!!"
But in reality, I'd feel a tinge of hurt though I'd be cordial about it.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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akosi
Stranger
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22126827 - 08/22/15 01:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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be careful where you tread, treat him how you would like to be treated yourself, ya know?
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ShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤



Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: akosi]
#22126983 - 08/22/15 01:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Could have posted this in , Ladies night, sub forum. I would say don't date the guy he is already was with your friend it would be more messy than worth it at this point.
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Quit The Cult
World is yours

Registered: 11/12/14
Posts: 265
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: ShiVersblood] 1
#22127025 - 08/22/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah tbh i think OP needs to get in control of herself. Talking about some triflin ass shit. Haha.
Ive been attracted to some of my girls friends in the past. But i wouldnt even consider acting upon it because i have respect for myself and my girl. Cheating is cheating. Dump your dude if you wanna fuck his friend. Simple as that.
-------------------- Ill always have typos. Using a shitty phone to write on here.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar] 1
#22127157 - 08/22/15 01:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Acaterpillar said:
Quote:
sun_spots said: I couldn't care less if my friends wanted to date my exes. I'd question their judgment, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings.
You must compartmentalize your emotions well.
Envy? Pity? I dunno; Has that never backfired on you before?
I'm not sure what you're getting at here. If I am no longer with someone, regardless of who dumped whom, there's a good reason for it. So why would I be offended by them moving on?
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22127289 - 08/22/15 02:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think I envy you
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22127302 - 08/22/15 02:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's so sad and your boyfriend seems rather pathetic to me. ( Cheer's to Sex)
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



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Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22129427 - 08/23/15 02:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well so this is my events for today. My boyfriend said a few days ago several times he was fine with me hanging out with him I wasn't going to do anything because I do love myboyfriend I have very strong feelings for him but anyways me and his friend hung out today and we talked and I was kinda high and said a few things about my boyfriend being controlling and whatnot because my boyfriend was getting jealous that I was hanging out with his friend he was sending me texts like lie to him and tell him you have to go home or if your not home by 7:30 it's over shit like that and his friend was starting to talk about things like if he ever hits you I want to know and I was uncomfortable with it because we do get into fist fights. So my boyfriend started ignoring me and texting his friend instead. I was at his friends aunts house where we usually all hang out and we were all drinking. Well his friend started bringing up the whole beating on women thing and they talked about that for like an hour while still drinking and when my boyfriend said that it was none of his friends biusness and wouldn't answer his friend if he hits me or not they ended up getting into a fist fight over it.....
So after about 20 mins of wrestling and fist fighting my boyfriends friends cousins broke it up and we went down the street only to find my be didn't have his phone so we pulled over and I walked back to find it but it wasn't there so my boyfriend and his friend ended up talking alone in the car for a good 30-45 mins and I'm not sure what was said or anything but now I'm home and yeah wtf :/
His friend basically tried to beat up my boyfriend because he found out he was hitting me and earlier in the day offered me a place to stay if I needed one soooo I don't know what I'm going to do now I'm stressing about a lot and not just this and I have to get up in the morning for my first job and then do 6 hours at my other job fuck my life I had no idea he would react like that I never out right said he hits me but he figured it out after the long convo he had with my bf so shit went down
And I know I have to get my shit together I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22129462 - 08/23/15 02:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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First, 20 minutes of fist fighting? You've got to be exaggerating. My longest fight covered my entire house from back door to front door to back door with me and my brother slamming each other's faces into everything (in between the actual fists) from the outside looking in, we were trying to kill each other. That whole fight lasted just a few minutes tops, it ended because neither of us could keep going. Not to say it's impossible to go a full 20 minutes, but very few people are really built for that type of thing outside of professional sports.
Anyways: I don't even know where to start on this. I really don't. I just see so much wrong here, I don't know how to go about addressing it. So I'll do it line by line.
Quote:
My boyfriend said a few days ago several times he was fine with me hanging out with him I wasn't going to do anything
Just like I said on the first page. If he was serious about the threesome, doing it would be a huge mistake. He has severe control and jealousy issues and someone like that absolutely could not handle such a thing.
Quote:
because I do love myboyfriend I have very strong feelings for him
Another "I said". You may not care as much as you think you do. Sure in the beginning it might suck to break up with him, but months down the line you'll look back on it and wonder why you never did it sooner
Quote:
my boyfriend was getting jealous that I was hanging out with his friend he was sending me texts like lie to him and tell him you have to go home or if your not home by 7:30 it's over
next time stay out all night, for two reasons. One to show he has no control over you, and two maybe he might actually follow through with it
Quote:
his friend was starting to talk about things like if he ever hits you I want to know and I was uncomfortable with it
This one comes in a bit later, but there you go, a possible way out. Don't even have to date him. If he's truly got a problem with it, I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking you in while you get your shit straight
Quote:
Well his friend started bringing up the whole beating on women thing and they talked about that for like an hour while still drinking and when my boyfriend said that it was none of his friends biusness and wouldn't answer his friend if he hits me or not they ended up getting into a fist fight over it.....
Friend obviously cares enough, see above
Quote:
his friend ended up talking alone in the car for a good 30-45 mins and I'm not sure what was said or anything but now I'm home and yeah wtf :/
Don't worry about what was said. Friend was most likely telling boyfriend he needs to get his fucking shit straight
Quote:
and earlier in the day offered me a place to stay if I needed one soooo I don't know what I'm going to do now I'm stressing about a lot and not just this and I have to get up in the morning for my first job and then do 6 hours at my other job fuck my life I had no idea he would react like that I never out right said he hits me but he figured it out after the long convo he had with my bf so shit went down
Then wtf is the problem?
Quote:
And I know I have to get my shit together I'm just stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Yes you do and no you aren't. The only difficulty is the one you're making for yourself. Is this the life you want to live? Do you think your boyfriend is just going to flip a switch and change? That's a pipe dream. It happens, but it's rare that it does. All of this shit is just going to keep happening. Stop clinging to a dead end.
Leave the prick, yesterday. Worry about what comes next or how you're going to make it later. Your life won't change until you change it. When I was a retail manager one my employees "had to quit" because of her boyfriend being the same kinda prick yours is. He actually showed up at the store to tell her she's not working whenever he felt like it. Perhaps he was too afraid she'd become dependent and not put up with this shit anymore. Whatever the reason was, it caused a huge scene and she never showed up for work again. This is quite possibly your future.
Seriously pack your shit and leave.
Right now you seriously have an out. Just keep staying with him and hoping for the best and end up actually getting pregnant (and don't say it won't/couldn't happen) and then you're really going to be fucked. Moving out/on becomes exponentially harder. It's not ideal but you can sleep in a car or on a friends couch and hardly ever eat, but be free to go find a job to get out of that situation. If a child comes along, you're going to be pretty well fucked. You have no work experience, you're not going to be able to afford a baby sitter and pay rent/bills/food. Babysitters (unless you just happen to know a person willing to do it) basically charge what minimum wage is. So you're working for nothing. Need a baby sitter for 8 hours 5 days a week? You're going to have to work 8 hours a day 5 days a week to cover it.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
Edited by Shroomslip (08/23/15 03:52 AM)
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22129569 - 08/23/15 04:00 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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BFs friend threw himself out there for you... if you like him, which it seems you do, just go for it.. I'm guessing you're scared of change, considering your scattered childhood and the fact that you've been with this one guyfor years. But you gotta buck up and do this for yourself, because what you got now is clearly not a sustainable plan. If you miss this opportunity you'll probably be kicking yourself in the ass down the road. Do you really wanna be the couple that doesn't have sex? You're only 23 for Christ's sake, that shits for old people. This is only going to get worse, and the emotional baggage and the games are going to keep piling up until you get into another fight where he makes fun of your family and you finally break and leave his pathetic ass, except then you wont have the out you do now. Seize the opportunity girl, this could turn out really fun for you.
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Hobozen]
#22129579 - 08/23/15 04:10 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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"The difference between seizing the opportunity when it strikes and missing it often determines whether you make it in life or you do not."
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Hobozen]
#22129607 - 08/23/15 04:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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you only get fucked once a month in a relationship???? fuck that wtfff
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: thelanzii]
#22129613 - 08/23/15 04:51 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sex isn't everything. After so long it just doesn't mean what it used to. Though at such a young age, it is pretty odd and should be a red flag.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,818
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: thelanzii]
#22129619 - 08/23/15 04:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have a feeling OP is not being completely honest, there is always two sides to the story...
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Sham87]
#22129632 - 08/23/15 05:16 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sham87 said: I have a feeling OP is not being completely honest, there is always two sides to the story...
Very true, but if she is only sharing half truths, it's still a relationship that should of been ended long ago. She could just be playing victim, but everything she says her BF has done, is enough to just leave. Even if she is completely lying, the argument to leave still stands. If she were willing to lie (and I'm not saying you are OP just for the record) about this shit, they still shouldn't be together. He shouldn't be subjected to such slandering and backhandedness.
No matter how you look at it, this is a relationship that should not continue existing. Whether it's for her sake or his.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Matt87

Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 3,339
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Janky Tits]
#22129685 - 08/23/15 06:07 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Xplicit RelapzZ said: Really this could be your dream come true. Get shagged by your boyfriend and his best friend lol. Sounds like a fun time for you
Till the friend has a way bigger dick/lasts longer. Then boyfriend will act extra crazy!
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  Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. -Musashi
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Matt87

Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 3,339
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Matt87]
#22129687 - 08/23/15 06:08 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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People have made great points in this thread. Shroomslip in particular.
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  Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. -Musashi
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 1,724
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22129761 - 08/23/15 07:11 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I in no way condone violence in relationships or in an y other circumstance but to defend oneself or family....But you definitely are an instigator.
You are playing both sides whether you were given permission for you boyfriend to hang with his friend or not.
You stated that Quote:
burningstar06 said: his friend hung out today and we talked and I was kinda high and said a few things about my boyfriend being controlling and whatnot b
You are the cause of some of this as well (not the violence towards you though), and if you do go with the boyfriends friend, you will have sunk to an all-time low in my opinion.
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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Macey Howard
Formally MOE HOWARD



Registered: 07/02/99
Posts: 14,165
Loc: Georgia
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22129775 - 08/23/15 07:17 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yep, your man is ready to flush you babes. If he is willing to do a three-some, it means he's got some other girl on the menu.
Just saying..
-------------------- Hugs and Kisses!
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Shroomslip
Architekt



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22129799 - 08/23/15 07:31 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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First and foremost, I am not a white knight. I just see a flaw I can't overlook.
Instigating because she hung out with someone (friend of his or friend hers doesn't really matter)? She's a human being, she shouldn't have to bow down to his jealousy and isolate herself because of his insecurities. Or was it the fact that she decided to open up about abuse currently going on? Are you saying that shit should just be kept behind closed doors? No one just runs to the cops in those situations. They talk to people, because somewhere deep down (for whatever reason) they need to be told it's not okay. Actually they need it pounded in their fucking head because even when the first person tells them it's not okay, they keep making excuses for it, such as "I really care about him".
Whatever way you spin what you quoted, does not make her an instigator. You don't have the knowledge to prove what she's saying is bullshit, by all we have to go on, she is not an instigator. Definition of instigator: "a person who brings about or initiates something." Tell me at what point in this thread can you prove she brought about or initiated any of it. Let's suspend disbelief and assumption. Boyfriend beat her. He is the one who instigated it. Threesome? Boyfriend brought it up. He again was the instigator. FFS boyfriend told her that his friend thinks she's hot. Instigating.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22129857 - 08/23/15 07:58 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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OK, there's violence in this relationship. That is completely unacceptable. I suggest you take the advice of pretty much everyone in this thread who is telling you to leave. Once you put some distance between yourself and this situation, you'll be able to see how very unhealthy the relationship was.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22130026 - 08/23/15 09:00 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yea I didn't realize he hit you and shit, drop that dude...he's the lowest of the low and it'll probably just get worse overtime
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 1,724
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Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22130044 - 08/23/15 09:05 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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DOBAS



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,002
Loc: Virginia
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22130067 - 08/23/15 09:13 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said: They brought up 3 some. I say get pounded till your insides fall out.
This all the way
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22130112 - 08/23/15 09:27 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SirShroomsAlott said: Yea I didn't realize he hit you and shit, drop that dude...he's the lowest of the low and it'll probably just get worse overtime
She said that they get into fist fights, meaning that the violence is reciprocated and that either of them may start it. Not all domestic violence is one-sided. Violence just means that the relationship is probably a bad idea for both parties.
I'd recommend that you take a step back from relationships for a bit, OP. I'm not sure that it's a feasible option for you, but if your love interests are beating the shit out of each other, then something needs to change pretty drastically. Friendships are going to be changed after this is over no matter what happens from this point on. You should separate yourself from this bullshit so you can think about it with a clear head for a while. It doesn't should like you can do that with the BF (who I would dump hands down BTW) since he's playing daddy and giving you a curfew, and you probably can't do that at the BF's friend's place either since you'll be busy thinking up ways to not jump on his dick. If you can go back to your parents place for a while, then I'd do that. You might want to hook up with the BF's friend, but you should do it later, and under better circumstances if it's what you really want to do.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22130132 - 08/23/15 09:32 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
InfiniteToker said: She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
What are you actually trying to say? What is the point of the above quote?
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22130209 - 08/23/15 09:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: OK, there's violence in this relationship. That is completely unacceptable. I suggest you take the advice of pretty much everyone in this thread who is telling you to leave. Once you put some distance between yourself and this situation, you'll be able to see how very unhealthy the relationship was.
Agreed! Do what Sunspots is saying
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22130230 - 08/23/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
InfiniteToker said: She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
You seem to not quite understand what instigating means. To me just being honest about things (and not quite entirely honest as she didn't quite want to tell him) is not instigating. Instigating is adding fuel to a fire and rubbing salt into a wound. According to the post she spoke the truth as plainly as it was.
So yeah, basically, this comment makes you an asshole.
You do need to get out of that place though, BurningStar. It's not healthy for either of you. If your boyfriend is ever going to change he certainly isn't going to do it when you just take all his bullshit. Leave. Try to find somewhere else to go that is not boyfriend's friend's house. But if shit breaks out and your bf starts swinging... do what you gotta do, you get out of there.
But either way you should take a little break from relationships. And I don't think it's cuz you're crazy or anything but because when you go though something like that it really does change your perception of things and makes you emotionally vulnerable. You got to take care of yourself. Don't just run into the arms of the next guy. All the healing you have to do has to be done on your own time from within yourself. Adding a relationship to that is just going to mix in unnecessary complicated shit.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22130719 - 08/23/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah I think we might be breaking up I have work tonight and I might just stay out to get it in his head that I will go because I think it's that he really thinks I wont. I keep telling him to knock it off because once I go I'm not coming back. But he doesn't care. I found out he's been texting his ex girlfriend wich really pissed me off we've had many fights and discussions about this particular ex of his whom he hung out with while I was in rehab and didn't tell me til I got back home and I almost broke up with him for that. He's pissed because he says after everything last night that's what your mad about and he started pushing me around again but I didn't hit him back or anything
When I said we get in fist fights I meant he's a 210-220lb guy who benches 250 and I' a 160lb girl so I mean when he gets out of control I try to protect myself however I will not lie there has been times I have thrown the first punch because he knows exactly what to say and what buttons to push to get me that angry and trust me it takes a lot
It's just that my dad just moved far away and my mother well that's another story and I really don't have anybody else my grandfathers still is holding a grudge on me for something I didn't do so I'm not allowed there and I literally have no friends
I don't have a license yet I don't even have a bike to get around I don't have a car to stay in and he tells me these things because he knows he says to me call whoever you want i can fight anybody and nobody cares about you
I just want to cry a lot today I really do feels like my hearts in my throat it's going to be a looooong day
Feels bad :'( I don't know how I'm going to make it through work today
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22130782 - 08/23/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dude remain strong. You CAN do this. Many women have gotten through this situation and the fact that you are balls enough to fight back means that you can leave him. It's going to be hard but I think you should just move back with your mom just to save up some money and perhaps get back to your dads. Or maybe your dad can help you out and buy you a bus ticket or something. Get somewhere away from him first but aim to get somewhere where you feel safe and start pulling yourself back together from this relationship. After awhile of being away from him and working on yourself you can probably find friends and talk to that guy again. Am I guessing close that perhaps you might have some friends that he talked crap about so you either distanced yourself or didn't try? Just don't go running into another love relationship ok?
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo]
#22130867 - 08/23/15 01:04 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks man
Thanks for everybody's advice I'm going to figure this out one way or another
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22130876 - 08/23/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good luck lady 
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22130923 - 08/23/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whether he cares or not you need to leave. If you come back you're just going to give him the idea that you're just going to tease him into thinking that you're going to leave but you really won't. You might scare him for a little bit into acting nice for a while but in the end he's still just going to keep treating you like shit.
In the end you leaving might help make him a better person, but you are not making him a better person for you. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't deserve you.
You say you don't have a licence. So that car you bought together was really you just helping him buy a car. This was the perception twists I was talking about, and he fuels it as much as he possibly can to make you think that you have no choice but to stay with him. But you do have a choice and he can't bully that away or isolate you from that.
Did he also discourage you from getting a licence? I imagine he's done alot to make you feel dependant on him. If he's anything like the abusive controlling manipulative cunts I've dealt with in the past I'd be shocked if he hasn't.
I know it hurts. And I know you feel lost. But after you get out of there and start to work for the things you deserve, after you start to earn the things you deserve, you're going to realize that this is one of the best decisions you have ever made.
Good luck and feel free to shoot me a if you ever need to talk.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22130977 - 08/23/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks cookie crumbs I gotta go to work now but I'll talk to you guys later
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22132154 - 08/23/15 06:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: OK, there's violence in this relationship. That is completely unacceptable.
I'm glad someone else addressed this. That is a major issue, and reveals how fucked up this relationship is. Get out while you have a way. If your bf's friend ends up not letting you stay there there are sometimes shelters and communities that will help women who are attempting to get away from abusive partners.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22132741 - 08/23/15 08:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yea I think we just broke up he's telling me to leave the house now and he don't jlove me anymore he says I backstabbed him for talking to his friend about our relationship so he don't love me anymore
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22132746 - 08/23/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm just afraid to leave my expensive things here that I couldn't take with me on a short notice because he will destroy everything I own when I leave
He's tried to do it before like whe he threw my entire did collection out in the pouring rain on the lawn
Edited by burningstar06 (08/23/15 08:34 PM)
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22132751 - 08/23/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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" the parental controls on the tv"
Really? That's messed up.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: nicechrisman]
#22132762 - 08/23/15 08:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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he sounds like a hormonal 14 year old girl
if you cant take everything with you be sure to take pictures of everything, worst case you can take him to small claims court
Edited by luvdemboomers (08/23/15 08:37 PM)
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22132772 - 08/23/15 08:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah maybe that's what I should do thanks for the advice guys
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22133621 - 08/24/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
luvdemboomers said: he sounds like a hormonal 14 year old girl
if you cant take everything with you be sure to take pictures of everything, worst case you can take him to small claims court

But still the stuff is just stuff. It's not nearly as important as your physical and mental health.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22133667 - 08/24/15 01:24 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I packed my bags and took the pictures I was going to leave but it was so emotional me and my boyfriend ended up crying on the floor together I gave him one more chance and if he blows it I'm gone
The thing was I was gunna stay at his friends house I wasn't going to cheat on my boyfriend I just wanted space and I didn't have anywhere else to go at 12:30 at night so my boyfriends dad was all like she's just going to cheat on you and if she goes there I wont let her back into the house
I just didn't have it in me to go I was almost out the door and when I saw my boyfriends face and how sad he ws and that he was crying I just couldn't do it he almost had a panick attack
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22133670 - 08/24/15 01:25 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Now I feel like complete shit I just want to numb out
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22133675 - 08/24/15 01:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Hang in there
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: nicechrisman]
#22133688 - 08/24/15 01:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP maybe your boyfriend is borderline.. Kind of sounds like it really, with the black and white extreme rationality and all.
Anyway, good luck to you. Do what makes you happy but you guys need to have a real talk.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22133694 - 08/24/15 01:38 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I still say you're probably best off leaving him.
But I hope for the best for you regardless of what you decide.
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Free time is the only time
Edited by CookieCrumbs (08/24/15 01:58 AM)
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22133707 - 08/24/15 01:47 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: I still say you're probably best off leaving him.
But I hope for the best for you regardless of what you decide.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22133726 - 08/24/15 02:06 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I literally just made a post about how I was surprised you took everyone's advice so quickly and actually decided to leave him. How usually it takes months/years for someone to open their eyes and realize what everyone has been telling them all along was the truth and the only answer.
Instead, you caved. "1 more chance" yeah and then it'll be another and another and another. No matter how many times he proves to you that he cannot or will not change, you're just going to keep giving him chances.
I'm not trying to be a dick, but really? Please spare us of the post in a couple of weeks you're going to feel compelled to make about how he didn't change and you don't know what to do.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22133732 - 08/24/15 02:13 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I feel like she probably caved because it happened so soon.
Don't "spare us" the post. You really need to seriously reevaluate everything about this situation, whether you stay or not, Burningstar.
Oh and fuck what your boyfriend's father says. He's the one that raised the fine piece of work that has your life on lockdown.
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Free time is the only time
Edited by CookieCrumbs (08/24/15 02:15 AM)
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22133746 - 08/24/15 02:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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This isn't the type of decision that needs to be drug out. Actually the sooner the better. Should she just wait around until he progresses to breaking bones and shit? Maybe she should wait until he goes full blown psycho and actually puts her in a life threatening situation? She caved because he's familiar and they've been together for so long. No matter how toxic the relationship she's going to want to stay, at least until she ends up in the hospital or a morgue or something drastic.
And yes spare us the post, that is my opinion, but I doubt I'm alone in it. If you don't want to take the advice given, then don't ask for it. It'll just be another 5+ pages of pretty much everyone unanimously telling her she needs to leave and that the situation she's in is completely fucked up, which at the end of the saga, she will decide to stay again. Thus repeating the cycle. This shit will just keep coming full circle, so let's just not.
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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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Matt87

Registered: 01/03/15
Posts: 3,339
Loc: Tennessee
Last seen: 3 days, 21 hours
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22133754 - 08/24/15 02:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You dummy. Enjoy the knuckle sandwiches and Hawaiian punch I guess...
--------------------
  Once you understand the way broadly, you see it in all things. -Musashi
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Matt87]
#22134363 - 08/24/15 07:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well what the hell OP.... good luck I guess.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo]
#22134468 - 08/24/15 08:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should at least set yourself up so you can leave at the drop of a hat if you want to, OP. You still have the initial problem, and you may want to leave later. You should cut down on your hard-to-move valuables and start saving money.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22134531 - 08/24/15 08:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Burningstar06, of course he seemed sad and remorseful, it's part of the cycle of abuse. Please familiarize yourself with it so you can see it as it happens.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_abuse
And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if you had done something that would've made your bf's dad not allow you to stay in the house. It'd keep you from going back into a dangerous situation. What you need to be doing right now is getting your ducks in a row. Start figuring out where you're going to stay, how you're going to live, etc because what you're doing right now is worse than many other options available to you. Contact a local battered women's shelter. These people can help you, it's a national domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233 They can offer advice, resources, all the pertinent info. No one will judge you, and frankly, the only embarrassing thing about your situation is that you're staying in it.
Please act on this. I'm worried that you're not understanding the full gravitas of what is happening to you. If you need to talk in private, please contact myself or my fiancé sun_spots. User CookieCrumbs has also been giving you the excellent advice in here and would probably help in pm.
Don't just sit there and act like serious shit isn't happening to you though.
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Yage
Z



Registered: 12/14/11
Posts: 512
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22134603 - 08/24/15 09:12 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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The worlds full of trash men and shit boys.
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bukkake


Registered: 05/28/05
Posts: 2,764
Loc: Classified
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22134631 - 08/24/15 09:21 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomslip said: This isn't the type of decision that needs to be drug out. Actually the sooner the better. Should she just wait around until he progresses to breaking bones and shit? Maybe she should wait until he goes full blown psycho and actually puts her in a life threatening situation? She caved because he's familiar and they've been together for so long. No matter how toxic the relationship she's going to want to stay, at least until she ends up in the hospital or a morgue or something drastic.
And yes spare us the post, that is my opinion, but I doubt I'm alone in it. If you don't want to take the advice given, then don't ask for it. It'll just be another 5+ pages of pretty much everyone unanimously telling her she needs to leave and that the situation she's in is completely fucked up, which at the end of the saga, she will decide to stay again. Thus repeating the cycle. This shit will just keep coming full circle, so let's just not.
This. Toxic relationship is toxic. The relationship is over. Drag it out or move on now. The choice is hers. We can finish up here.
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qman
Stranger

Registered: 12/06/06
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Yage] 1
#22134683 - 08/24/15 09:36 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Yage said: The worlds full of trash men and shit boys.
It usually takes two to tangle, case in point.
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: qman]
#22135713 - 08/24/15 02:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
qman said:
Quote:
Yage said: The worlds full of trash men and shit boys.
It usually takes two to tangle, case in point.
--------------------
"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip] 1
#22135751 - 08/24/15 02:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomslip said: This isn't the type of decision that needs to be drug out. Actually the sooner the better. Should she just wait around until he progresses to breaking bones and shit? Maybe she should wait until he goes full blown psycho and actually puts her in a life threatening situation? She caved because he's familiar and they've been together for so long. No matter how toxic the relationship she's going to want to stay, at least until she ends up in the hospital or a morgue or something drastic.
And yes spare us the post, that is my opinion, but I doubt I'm alone in it. If you don't want to take the advice given, then don't ask for it. It'll just be another 5+ pages of pretty much everyone unanimously telling her she needs to leave and that the situation she's in is completely fucked up, which at the end of the saga, she will decide to stay again. Thus repeating the cycle. This shit will just keep coming full circle, so let's just not.
I left its over i left today with my sister and i iill be calling the hotline to figure some things out right now im still just rly hurt and in shock it only been an hour so far im going to buy new phone so he dont have my numbe either its over im out the police came by after my sister callef in concern after me not answering my silent phone whil i was sleeping an it was over after that
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22135773 - 08/24/15 02:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Wow, way to pull through. I'm happy for you. 
This path won't be easy in the beginning but it will get better day by day. Eventually one day you'll look back and be thankful for the choices you made.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22135801 - 08/24/15 02:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22135832 - 08/24/15 02:45 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You've got to love good siblings.
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22135856 - 08/24/15 02:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Was not following the entire thread but good for you, things sounded pretty fucked up. Not sure where things are at with your ex's friend but personally I would suggest looking outside of your ex's social circle entirely for a new partner.
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: psi]
#22136675 - 08/24/15 05:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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still think a 3some should happen
--------------------
"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22136832 - 08/24/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good job OP and good luck again. Have faith in yourself because you can get through this. Glad your sister helped you out. Just focus on getting healthy and happy. Did you manage to get all your stuff?
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo] 3
#22137092 - 08/24/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I got about half of it I'll be going back with an officer to.get the rest and they advized him not to touch any of my stuff and I a so took the pictures so I sold be fine with that I got a new phone already and a safe place to stay
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22137131 - 08/24/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm so relieved to see that you're making the smart, safe decision. This is the beginning of your new life. You're in the driver's seat now.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22137162 - 08/24/15 07:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It feels good to.have my freedom back though it does
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22137386 - 08/24/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's going to keep feeling better now that you're out of that situation too. I'm glad the cops could get involved about your stuff. Good call. It's just stuff, but it's still yours.
Yay I'm so happy for you!!
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo]
#22137618 - 08/24/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't even know where to begin so I'll give my thoughts.
My current girlfriend has gone through my phone twice. She gave me the password to her phone one time i was sitting cross legged on her bed. I just said uhh why? So if you want to. Dude i trust you i have no reason to not. I dont care who your messaging or talking to as long as you come home to me and not being scandalous we're A ok.
Once trust is broken and i have to look through your phone what the fuck are we even doing atm. I did that shit in my past and I'm sick of it.
So i dunno op sounds like a control freak and just kind of a terrible SO in general.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Enjoywho] 1
#22138138 - 08/24/15 11:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Enjoywho said:

I don't even know where to begin so I'll give my thoughts.
My current girlfriend has gone through my phone twice. She gave me the password to her phone one time i was sitting cross legged on her bed. I just said uhh why? So if you want to. Dude i trust you i have no reason to not. I dont care who your messaging or talking to as long as you come home to me and not being scandalous we're A ok.
Once trust is broken and i have to look through your phone what the fuck are we even doing atm. I did that shit in my past and I'm sick of it.
So i dunno op sounds like a control freak and just kind of a terrible SO in general.
Agreed. Hypocritical too. Defiant that her boyfriend was mad at her for confiding in one of his friends but when he does the same with another girl she flies off her top? What a joke.
It takes two to tango. Both OP and her boyfriend are to blame.
The rest of you acting as a giant sound board need to stop enabling her.
That is all, peasants.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 55 minutes
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: MoxyOx]
#22138176 - 08/24/15 11:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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There's a (maybe even good) chance she's leaving out details, but she did admit to fighting back, or even initiating it to begin with. The fact she's willing to admit that kinda supports her side of the story. If she did just want to play victim, she'd probably act like it was totally one sided.
Then there is the argument I made earlier, that regardless of the right or wrong in this situation this relationship just is not healthy for any involved. Whether she's 100% honest or lying through her teeth, there is good reason to say it needs to be done with.
I also think Enjoywho's comment of OP being the controlling one is just a simple oversight (and that he actually meant her boyfriend). OP hasn't really said anything that would lead anyone to believe she is the control freak. Her boyfriend on the other hand though..
--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: MoxyOx]
#22138950 - 08/25/15 06:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
MoxyOx said: It takes two to tango. Both OP and her boyfriend are to blame.
The rest of you acting as a giant sound board need to stop enabling her.
"Enabling her" to do what exactly? Regardless of who can be blamed for what, clearly this was an unhealthy relationship and IMO it's good that it's ending.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22138961 - 08/25/15 06:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: psi]
#22138967 - 08/25/15 06:33 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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With long threads like this, ones that have a lot of verbose responses, a lot of people skip pertinent info after they focus on one thing. MoxyOxy seems to have done that, as have others. At another forum I lurk at, they have a word for it: "HIPPO", which stands for Happily Ignoring Previous Posts and Opinions. You see a lot of this at boomtown.
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Oeric McKenna
LIFE CAPS


Registered: 06/15/12
Posts: 5,318
Loc: Babylon
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22138976 - 08/25/15 06:39 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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So wait... your boyfriend is "jealous" and yet... you have "always had a crush on his best friend"..
That is very shady indeed.
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natzyshroomer
Star gazer


Registered: 12/01/12
Posts: 405
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Oeric McKenna]
#22138997 - 08/25/15 06:47 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I believe op is trying to justifying cheating in the most round about way
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22139273 - 08/25/15 07:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroomslip said: There's a (maybe even good) chance she's leaving out details, but she did admit to fighting back, or even initiating it to begin with. The fact she's willing to admit that kinda supports her side of the story. If she did just want to play victim, she'd probably act like it was totally one sided.
Then there is the argument I made earlier, that regardless of the right or wrong in this situation this relationship just is not healthy for any involved. Whether she's 100% honest or lying through her teeth, there is good reason to say it needs to be done with.
I also think Enjoywho's comment of OP being the controlling one is just a simple oversight (and that he actually meant her boyfriend). OP hasn't really said anything that would lead anyone to believe she is the control freak. Her boyfriend on the other hand though..
I wasn't referring to her but to her bf that was in all the comments i read. But i only read the first 2 pages. So yes that was an oversight in english speaking. 
It's funny though she goes through my phone and that's ok. Even though the bitches i be talking to are really good friends of mine and I've never cheated. I think it's so disrespectful and rude.
She even said after i explained dude those are some homies i don't even think of them like that at all. My last bf cheated on me so it's my own issues. Even though i know if i did go through her shit with permission at this point that fight would be on me.
I just don't care to. I trust you baby. And phones are such personal items these days i don't think anyone should touch mine without permission.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
Edited by Enjoywho (08/25/15 07:29 AM)
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22139387 - 08/25/15 07:36 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Burke Dennings said: With long threads like this, ones that have a lot of verbose responses, a lot of people skip pertinent info after they focus on one thing. MoxyOxy seems to have done that, as have others. At another forum I lurk at, they have a word for it: "HIPPO", which stands for Happily Ignoring Previous Posts and Opinions. You see a lot of this at boomtown.
I don't think it's ignoring as much as it being easy to miss certain posts in a long thread like this. I totally missed her post where she said they get in to fist fights, but I have 40 posts per page and it's one of the last ones on page 3.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: larry.fisherman] 1
#22139759 - 08/25/15 08:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whether intentionally or not, relevant info was ignored by many.
However, I did not direct that post at you. I was speaking in general.
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Burke Dennings]
#22139777 - 08/25/15 08:40 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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glad to hear you're making positive changes op.
don't second guess it later
-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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morrowasted
Worldwide Stepper



Registered: 10/30/09
Posts: 31,377
Loc: House of Mirrors
Last seen: 4 days, 19 hours
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22139873 - 08/25/15 09:16 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: I couldn't care less if my friends wanted to date my exes. I'd question their judgment, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings.
This varies depending on how the relationship ends. If you get dumped and your girlfriend leaves you for your best friend, it sucks. If you dump a girl and she decides to date your best friend, that is something else entirely.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: morrowasted]
#22140095 - 08/25/15 10:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm not going back to him he keeps texting and caking he has been all day and night I Tod him it is over and I'm not coming back
And I would never cheat in a relationship it's not.how I was raised we broke up yesterday and I never said or.hinted to his friend that I liked in those 4 years but.you can't help the way you feel
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MoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22140147 - 08/25/15 10:25 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good. Thats how you break the cycle.
And no, I am not a HIPPO.
-------------------- No one behind, no one ahead. The path the ancients cleared has closed. And the other path, everyone's path, easy and wide, goes nowhere. I am alone and find my way.
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Midnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'


Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 2
#22140258 - 08/25/15 10:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Did you not get a new phone so he wouldn't have your number?
Don't talk to him. After this long, he knows how to get what he wants from you. You just shouldn't chance it.
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Midnight_Toker]
#22140508 - 08/25/15 11:41 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Midnight_Toker said: Did you not get a new phone so he wouldn't have your number?
Don't talk to him. After this long, he knows how to get what he wants from you. You just shouldn't chance it.
I was wondering the same thing.
Man this thread is making my head spin... too much going on to focus on OP'S present situation.
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sun_spots
Good boob day


Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 14,306
Loc: Nirvana
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: morrowasted]
#22141450 - 08/25/15 03:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, maybe that's how it goes for you.
-------------------- ShiVersblood said: shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters LordSenate said: Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: larry.fisherman]
#22141876 - 08/25/15 05:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
XLCaps said:
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
Quote:
Burke Dennings said: Really proud of you. 
Now. Don't go back.
Much love going out to you right now OP.
--------------------
Free time is the only time
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