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SirShroomsAlott
Howdy



Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22130026 - 08/23/15 09:00 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yea I didn't realize he hit you and shit, drop that dude...he's the lowest of the low and it'll probably just get worse overtime
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InfiniteToker
Devourer of Chicken Wings



Registered: 06/22/13
Posts: 1,724
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Shroomslip]
#22130044 - 08/23/15 09:05 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
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"I'm chilling in a room with a view, there's always room for improvement; so i grab my coat and go and prove it"-Method Man
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DOBAS



Registered: 07/06/13
Posts: 1,002
Loc: Virginia
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: The Doobie Dude]
#22130067 - 08/23/15 09:13 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said: They brought up 3 some. I say get pounded till your insides fall out.
This all the way
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Mr.GuessWork
Stranger

Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
#22130112 - 08/23/15 09:27 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
SirShroomsAlott said: Yea I didn't realize he hit you and shit, drop that dude...he's the lowest of the low and it'll probably just get worse overtime
She said that they get into fist fights, meaning that the violence is reciprocated and that either of them may start it. Not all domestic violence is one-sided. Violence just means that the relationship is probably a bad idea for both parties.
I'd recommend that you take a step back from relationships for a bit, OP. I'm not sure that it's a feasible option for you, but if your love interests are beating the shit out of each other, then something needs to change pretty drastically. Friendships are going to be changed after this is over no matter what happens from this point on. You should separate yourself from this bullshit so you can think about it with a clear head for a while. It doesn't should like you can do that with the BF (who I would dump hands down BTW) since he's playing daddy and giving you a curfew, and you probably can't do that at the BF's friend's place either since you'll be busy thinking up ways to not jump on his dick. If you can go back to your parents place for a while, then I'd do that. You might want to hook up with the BF's friend, but you should do it later, and under better circumstances if it's what you really want to do.
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Burke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22130132 - 08/23/15 09:32 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
InfiniteToker said: She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
What are you actually trying to say? What is the point of the above quote?
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22130209 - 08/23/15 09:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: OK, there's violence in this relationship. That is completely unacceptable. I suggest you take the advice of pretty much everyone in this thread who is telling you to leave. Once you put some distance between yourself and this situation, you'll be able to see how very unhealthy the relationship was.
Agreed! Do what Sunspots is saying
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: InfiniteToker]
#22130230 - 08/23/15 10:03 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
InfiniteToker said: She got high and started to discuss the problems of her relationship with her boyfriends friend, who is infatuated with her. This lead to a fight between them. She instigated the fight.
What is so hard to understand???? I already agreed that the violence her and her man share is wrong on many levels, but she still remains an instigator.
You seem to not quite understand what instigating means. To me just being honest about things (and not quite entirely honest as she didn't quite want to tell him) is not instigating. Instigating is adding fuel to a fire and rubbing salt into a wound. According to the post she spoke the truth as plainly as it was.
So yeah, basically, this comment makes you an asshole.
You do need to get out of that place though, BurningStar. It's not healthy for either of you. If your boyfriend is ever going to change he certainly isn't going to do it when you just take all his bullshit. Leave. Try to find somewhere else to go that is not boyfriend's friend's house. But if shit breaks out and your bf starts swinging... do what you gotta do, you get out of there.
But either way you should take a little break from relationships. And I don't think it's cuz you're crazy or anything but because when you go though something like that it really does change your perception of things and makes you emotionally vulnerable. You got to take care of yourself. Don't just run into the arms of the next guy. All the healing you have to do has to be done on your own time from within yourself. Adding a relationship to that is just going to mix in unnecessary complicated shit.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22130719 - 08/23/15 12:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah I think we might be breaking up I have work tonight and I might just stay out to get it in his head that I will go because I think it's that he really thinks I wont. I keep telling him to knock it off because once I go I'm not coming back. But he doesn't care. I found out he's been texting his ex girlfriend wich really pissed me off we've had many fights and discussions about this particular ex of his whom he hung out with while I was in rehab and didn't tell me til I got back home and I almost broke up with him for that. He's pissed because he says after everything last night that's what your mad about and he started pushing me around again but I didn't hit him back or anything
When I said we get in fist fights I meant he's a 210-220lb guy who benches 250 and I' a 160lb girl so I mean when he gets out of control I try to protect myself however I will not lie there has been times I have thrown the first punch because he knows exactly what to say and what buttons to push to get me that angry and trust me it takes a lot
It's just that my dad just moved far away and my mother well that's another story and I really don't have anybody else my grandfathers still is holding a grudge on me for something I didn't do so I'm not allowed there and I literally have no friends
I don't have a license yet I don't even have a bike to get around I don't have a car to stay in and he tells me these things because he knows he says to me call whoever you want i can fight anybody and nobody cares about you
I just want to cry a lot today I really do feels like my hearts in my throat it's going to be a looooong day
Feels bad :'( I don't know how I'm going to make it through work today
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22130782 - 08/23/15 12:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dude remain strong. You CAN do this. Many women have gotten through this situation and the fact that you are balls enough to fight back means that you can leave him. It's going to be hard but I think you should just move back with your mom just to save up some money and perhaps get back to your dads. Or maybe your dad can help you out and buy you a bus ticket or something. Get somewhere away from him first but aim to get somewhere where you feel safe and start pulling yourself back together from this relationship. After awhile of being away from him and working on yourself you can probably find friends and talk to that guy again. Am I guessing close that perhaps you might have some friends that he talked crap about so you either distanced yourself or didn't try? Just don't go running into another love relationship ok?
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: pachoo]
#22130867 - 08/23/15 01:04 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks man
Thanks for everybody's advice I'm going to figure this out one way or another
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22130876 - 08/23/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Good luck lady 
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06] 1
#22130923 - 08/23/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whether he cares or not you need to leave. If you come back you're just going to give him the idea that you're just going to tease him into thinking that you're going to leave but you really won't. You might scare him for a little bit into acting nice for a while but in the end he's still just going to keep treating you like shit.
In the end you leaving might help make him a better person, but you are not making him a better person for you. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't deserve you.
You say you don't have a licence. So that car you bought together was really you just helping him buy a car. This was the perception twists I was talking about, and he fuels it as much as he possibly can to make you think that you have no choice but to stay with him. But you do have a choice and he can't bully that away or isolate you from that.
Did he also discourage you from getting a licence? I imagine he's done alot to make you feel dependant on him. If he's anything like the abusive controlling manipulative cunts I've dealt with in the past I'd be shocked if he hasn't.
I know it hurts. And I know you feel lost. But after you get out of there and start to work for the things you deserve, after you start to earn the things you deserve, you're going to realize that this is one of the best decisions you have ever made.
Good luck and feel free to shoot me a if you ever need to talk.
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Free time is the only time
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#22130977 - 08/23/15 01:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks cookie crumbs I gotta go to work now but I'll talk to you guys later
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 3 months, 27 days
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: sun_spots]
#22132154 - 08/23/15 06:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sun_spots said: OK, there's violence in this relationship. That is completely unacceptable.
I'm glad someone else addressed this. That is a major issue, and reveals how fucked up this relationship is. Get out while you have a way. If your bf's friend ends up not letting you stay there there are sometimes shelters and communities that will help women who are attempting to get away from abusive partners.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: Acaterpillar]
#22132741 - 08/23/15 08:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yea I think we just broke up he's telling me to leave the house now and he don't jlove me anymore he says I backstabbed him for talking to his friend about our relationship so he don't love me anymore
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22132746 - 08/23/15 08:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm just afraid to leave my expensive things here that I couldn't take with me on a short notice because he will destroy everything I own when I leave
He's tried to do it before like whe he threw my entire did collection out in the pouring rain on the lawn
Edited by burningstar06 (08/23/15 08:34 PM)
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: burningstar06]
#22132751 - 08/23/15 08:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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" the parental controls on the tv"
Really? That's messed up.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: nicechrisman]
#22132762 - 08/23/15 08:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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he sounds like a hormonal 14 year old girl
if you cant take everything with you be sure to take pictures of everything, worst case you can take him to small claims court
Edited by luvdemboomers (08/23/15 08:37 PM)
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burningstar06
Seeker of many things



Registered: 05/27/13
Posts: 1,269
Loc: Usa, connecticut
Last seen: 8 months, 1 day
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22132772 - 08/23/15 08:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah maybe that's what I should do thanks for the advice guys
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub



Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: When you have a major crush on ur boyfriends good friend.... LADY'S help [Re: luvdemboomers]
#22133621 - 08/24/15 01:04 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
luvdemboomers said: he sounds like a hormonal 14 year old girl
if you cant take everything with you be sure to take pictures of everything, worst case you can take him to small claims court

But still the stuff is just stuff. It's not nearly as important as your physical and mental health.
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Free time is the only time
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