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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: yogabunny]
    #22113676 - 08/19/15 09:19 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

@yogabunny

how would you approach dealing with compulsive sex drives? like i said, i really don't mind having a lot of sex, but i could do without the pressure she puts on me to deliver every single second of the time we spend together. things seem to flow better when i don't feel like that's going on, but i'm really not sure how to sensitively handle the subject.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: zappaisgod]
    #22114229 - 08/19/15 11:11 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
but i'm also a really busy guy. i go to school, i work a drama-filled full-time job, and sometimes when i'm able to catch my breath from all of that i'm just not in the mood. i don't want to say that sex feels like a chore, but sometimes i really do just want to unwind and have a conversation. she's cool about it on the sparse occasions that i say no, but that pressure is still there




Yea, you hit the nail on the head right here.
There's no fights or arguments with my lady and I, but as you put it, sometimes it does feel like a chore because it's so constant.

As for the magic wand, I don't have one of those specifically but we have lots of other toys for her around. It holds her over really well for a couple hours lol.



Quote:

AddyZomeD said:
Quote:

The Doobie Dude said:
Kron be more alpha and fuck her till her hips break



:lol:




Kr0n here are some things that will help
Exercise ( ever since I started I'm horny all day every day pretty much )
Get some vibrators or sex today for her
Maybe tell her some days you are just tired, but your still madly in love with her


I'm sure shelle understand




You're absolutely right.
Exercise plays a huge role in my libido and I'm ashamed to say I've been pretty damn lazy for the past month.
When I kind of "quit" drinking back in January I got in great shape over the next several months.
Unfortunately I got lazy not too long ago.

We did have a conversation about it again today (her neediness in the sex department), and she's completely fine with the ordeal of me not necessarily keeping up with her but it is something extremely new to me which makes it a bit weird.

@Doobie: Being alpha is a joke. A really funny one...The tag team I'd consider. Maybe... but only if you brought another girl with you. What would I get out of watching your ass having sex with the woman I love?



Quote:

jahrastafareye said:
Im sorry, goldilocks, is your porridge too hot???




Yes, come blow on my "porridge". Pervert...

Quote:

yogabunny said:
I believe in quality over quantity. To me, your gf's sex drive sounds really compulsive/excessive.

I hope you guys can come up with a compromise. If you're trying to look for ways to keep up with her, you might want to look into the chinese medicine/tantric practice of semen retention.

Maca root powder is also a good supplement for enhancing libido.

Good luck!

:bunnypeace:




I couldn't agree more with quality over quantity.
Not too many years ago that was certainly the the other way around but nowadays really making love, for lack of a better term is all I want and need.
"Fucking" although fun, I can definitely do without.

As for her sex drive being compulsive/excessive, I've thought a lot about this and I somewhat agree.
I'm not sure where the line is drawn when it comes to having a high sex drive to being a nympho.

I appreciate the suggestion of Maca root powder. I'll definitly look into it. Thank you.


Quote:

zappaisgod said:
You know I love you darling but what the fuck?  Kro isn't the problem.  He's got a psycho nympho on his hands.  Not that that's always a bad thing if you're in a band.




Are nymphos always psycho in your experience or are there exceptions?
Like I said to bunny, that distinction between really enjoying sex and being a nympho is a bit blurry for me.

No need to get in a band though. The reason I switched to playing the acoustic from electric recently is because my lady has a beautiful voice. We've performed a couple times at open mic nights and it's been a lot of fun. She sings a lot of blues as well as 60's-70's rock which is a blast for me to play on the guitar. :smile:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Invisiblemillzy
Male

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,276
Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: kr0nik0]
    #22114400 - 08/19/15 11:57 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

get the wand dude. i'm not even kidding. it's like the ps3 of sex toys.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: millzy]
    #22114466 - 08/20/15 12:13 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

:lol: You sold me on it with your phrasing. :thumbup:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,048
Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: millzy]
    #22115097 - 08/20/15 03:20 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
get the wand dude. i'm not even kidding. it's like the ps3 of sex toys.



This guy knows what's up. Seriously. They're called magic for a good reason.


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Offlinesprinkles
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Registered: 10/13/12
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: kr0nik0]
    #22115104 - 08/20/15 03:25 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

kr0nik0 said:
I am really curious. Jokes aside.
Where would I procure bee pollen?

Sure as hell am not going to start popping Cialis to keep up with my woman's libido.

I was thinking about it, and this all may have something to do with a beta-blocker I was prescribed roughly 4 months ago. It's Atenelol and it was first given to me to regulate my heart beat when I quit drinking. Apparently after all this time without drinking I still need to take it or my BP goes through the roof. Scary stuff since I'm constantly active and at least in decent shape.





holy fuck you are already taking heart medication?  so much for you ever marrying me! :noway:


--------------------
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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Registered: 11/01/09
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: millzy]
    #22115740 - 08/20/15 10:25 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
@yogabunny

how would you approach dealing with compulsive sex drives? like i said, i really don't mind having a lot of sex, but i could do without the pressure she puts on me to deliver every single second of the time we spend together. things seem to flow better when i don't feel like that's going on, but i'm really not sure how to sensitively handle the subject.




well, it's just plain tricky because you don't want to hurt her or to make her feel like she's undesirable. there are a lot of emotions wrapped up in sex and it can be extremely hard to strike a balance when one partner wants it more often than the other.

I know this because my partner and I have the same conundrum. In our case he would probably be happy with multiple times a DAY and I am super satisfied with multiple times per WEEK.

A couple of months ago he picked up this book The Tao of Sex, Health & Longevity and our sex life has been absolutely amazing ever since. Like even better than ye olde honeymoon phase. He has not ejaculated in a couple months, but we have sex all the time. It's nice because we get to enjoy sex more often w/o me feeling pressured to have an orgasm all the time, and he is experiencing mind/body/spirit benefits from not ejaculating too. I don't know if this techinique would work in the case where it's the woman who has the higher sex drive, though? Typical this is not the case, so it makes me wonder if there's something else going on that is making her seek out sex more often as a form of validation and confirmation that they're safe in the relationship?

I wonder if offering increased non-sexual romance/intimacy would help?

As I always say, a woman needs only 3 things to survive: food, water, and compliments! :tongue2:

Other than that I would say set boundaries as far as how much you are comfortable with an beyond that, let them take care of themselves, which it sounds like you're already doing.

:shrug:


--------------------


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Posts: 17,756
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: yogabunny]
    #22116007 - 08/20/15 11:58 AM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

sprinkles said:
holy fuck you are already taking heart medication?  so much for you ever marrying me! :noway:




Originally it was for when I quit drinking since my BP shot up at that time.
I'm no longer taking it for my heart/BP, just for my anxiety which is the lowest rx'd amount (25mg's a day). Much better than the other options which would be either a SSRI and/or Benzo.
Let's just go get married tomorrow. I already whittled you a ring from a block of mahogany. :P



Quote:

yogabunny said:
I wonder if offering increased non-sexual romance/intimacy would help?

As I always say, a woman needs only 3 things to survive: food, water, and compliments! :tongue2:

Other than that I would say set boundaries as far as how much you are comfortable with an beyond that, let them take care of themselves, which it sounds like you're already doing.

:shrug:




We've only been dating since the 4th of July so we're very much still in the honeymoon phase.
There's a constant stream of cuddles, sweet gestures, and compliments on both ends. :smile: Maybe a little too many as I'm very much a romantic.

Quote:

Typical this is not the case, so it makes me wonder if there's something else going on that is making her seek out sex more often as a form of validation and confirmation that they're safe in the relationship?




I believe what you said here has a lot of truth to it in my situation.
My gf's 2 past "serious" relationships have been for the most part based around sex. Relationships where she wanted to be cared for but instead was just used. And a few years ago while still in college she indeed did sleep around for her own validation quite a bit. At least she acknowledges it...

She constantly tells me this is the first time she's felt truly loved. Although it's really nice I can make her feel like this, I really do believe she associates caring/loving directly with sex. I don't know if that's wrong or not but IMO, there should be a distinction.

The Tao book of sex you mentioned sounds very interesting. I'll definitely need to check it out. :thumbup:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Invisiblemillzy
Male

Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,276
Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: yogabunny]
    #22116276 - 08/20/15 01:19 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:

well, it's just plain tricky because you don't want to hurt her or to make her feel like she's undesirable. there are a lot of emotions wrapped up in sex and it can be extremely hard to strike a balance when one partner wants it more often than the other.

I know this because my partner and I have the same conundrum. In our case he would probably be happy with multiple times a DAY and I am super satisfied with multiple times per WEEK.

A couple of months ago he picked up this book The Tao of Sex, Health & Longevity and our sex life has been absolutely amazing ever since. Like even better than ye olde honeymoon phase. He has not ejaculated in a couple months, but we have sex all the time. It's nice because we get to enjoy sex more often w/o me feeling pressured to have an orgasm all the time, and he is experiencing mind/body/spirit benefits from not ejaculating too. I don't know if this techinique would work in the case where it's the woman who has the higher sex drive, though? Typical this is not the case, so it makes me wonder if there's something else going on that is making her seek out sex more often as a form of validation and confirmation that they're safe in the relationship?

I wonder if offering increased non-sexual romance/intimacy would help?

As I always say, a woman needs only 3 things to survive: food, water, and compliments! :tongue2:

Other than that I would say set boundaries as far as how much you are comfortable with an beyond that, let them take care of themselves, which it sounds like you're already doing.

:shrug:




we are very intimate and there's a lot of romance. gifts, dinner, cuddling, spending pretty much all of my time with her, it's all there. i guess i'll just have to keep talking to her. she does crave validation constantly. but like, for real, we talk at least three hours daily on the phone, and we work together. it's not like i ignore her by any stretch lol.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: millzy]
    #22116292 - 08/20/15 01:28 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

That to me suggests a need for a person to work on self-care/self-love more.

Does she do anything for to nurture/care for herself outside of y'alls relationship?


--------------------


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Invisiblemillzy
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Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,276
Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: yogabunny]
    #22116407 - 08/20/15 02:03 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
That to me suggests a need for a person to work on self-care/self-love more.

Does she do anything for to nurture/care for herself outside of y'alls relationship?




i'm a lot further down the road as far as that goes. we both have self esteem issues and difficult pasts. but i've put a huge chunk of that stuff to bed over the course of a couple of years of counseling recently. she hasn't, and it can be exhausting. there are times where her insecurities take center stage to the point that we can't even have a conversation. i would definitely agree that the sex drive is a form of seeking validation.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


Edited by millzy (08/20/15 02:04 PM)


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: yogabunny]
    #22117143 - 08/20/15 04:59 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Just wanted to report back about the bee pollen.

I have no idea if it was some sort of placebo effect but my girl and why spent the last 4 hours having the most amazing sex since we've started dating. One of the best times in my life actually. :smile:

I still want to give the Maca root a shot next time as well as look into the Tao sex book.
Is it just a certain type of tantric sex, or a full lifestyle behind "Tao"? I've never heard of it before but it sounds really intriguing.

:peace:


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: kr0nik0]
    #22117232 - 08/20/15 05:23 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Awesome I'm glad I could help. Altho that Malcolm_xtasy turd gave me a 0 shroom rating haha


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Invisiblekr0nik0
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Re: Love of my life wants too much sex... is this normal? [Re: empty space]
    #22117480 - 08/20/15 06:25 PM (6 years, 5 months ago)

Malcolm's a cool guy but he needs to stick his dick in a jar of bee pollen and loosen up.. or is it harden up. :lol:

The sex was pretty interesting, again I really don't know if it had anything to do with the bee pollen but even if it was a placebo effect, it was a good one.. I felt like I was on the verge of coming for such a long time which was marvelous.
When both the lady and I finally did, it was really intense in the best way possible.

Only problem is I now have really sore balls from them smacking around for multiple hours. :lol:
A small price to pay for that kind of lovemaking.


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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