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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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I feel like I can't ask women out
    #22109343 - 08/19/15 12:37 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Because I don't have my shit together. Like I have a job but that's pretty much it :frown: and I have really low self esteem. I litterly feel like I'm the definition of what people don't want and when a girl will show interest I just psych myself out because I know once she gets to know me she's just going to wonder why she's with such a loser so I try to space myself in fear of rejection. It fucking sucks guys but I'm literally crippled by fear and anxiety


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To define is to confine.


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InvisibleNitrous Monkey
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109349 - 08/19/15 12:41 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You've always got your hand. :sploosh:


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Nitrous Monkey]
    #22109353 - 08/19/15 12:43 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

At Least I know Lucy loves me :crazy::heart:


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:
To define is to confine.


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Invisiblefoodsgoodtoo
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Nitrous Monkey]
    #22109355 - 08/19/15 12:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

maybe its a country thing idk

build your character

might hit the jackpot ha


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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109365 - 08/19/15 12:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Eventually the right girl will come along and sweep you out of your insecurities .  Some girls are attracted to guys like that, maybe it makes them feel more secure.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Hobozen]
    #22109371 - 08/19/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Fuck I'm frustrated :crankey: I've literally been stuck like this pretty much my whole life and can't break out of it. I'm watching my life pass me by because I'm incapacitated by all my fear


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109372 - 08/19/15 12:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Like.... what else do you think you're lacking?


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:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109405 - 08/19/15 01:15 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I know what you mean when you think girls are out of your league, but they're not. You even said yourself, you psyche yourself out. Their just regular people like anyone else. You Just gotta  do it. If you don't try you won't get anywhere either. Fake it till you make it.


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
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OfflineAdolin
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Soulidarity]
    #22109412 - 08/19/15 01:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

only a predator would ask women out.

dont you know that its demeaning to women if you just assume that they could be interested in you?


Edited by Adolin (08/19/15 01:20 AM)


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Offlinemakaveli8x8
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109418 - 08/19/15 01:20 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
Fuck I'm frustrated :crankey: I've literally been stuck like this pretty much my whole life and can't break out of it. I'm watching my life pass me by because I'm incapacitated by all my fear




you sound just like me, you wanna go gey together?  i call dibs on top


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We were sent to hell for eternity :hellfire: Ø:omgawesome:h®
We play on earth to pass the time :foreheadslap:

Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Soulidarity]
    #22109430 - 08/19/15 01:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Soulidarity said:
I know what you mean when you think girls are out of your league, but they're not. You even said yourself, you psyche yourself out. Their just regular people like anyone else. You Just gotta  do it. If you don't try you won't get anywhere either. Fake it till you make it.




Yea just ask the ladies out. Who cares. It'll all be good. If they say no, they say no. It's not as disastrous as it may seem. You'll find one that's a good fit. :awesome:


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:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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OfflineWhoManBeing
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: pachoo] * 1
    #22109451 - 08/19/15 01:32 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Cheer up. Single woman probably go through the same bummer your on.  Live in the moment. When smiling, laughing, enjoying another's presence, that all there is happening in all the universe. That moment shared between 2, 3, 4... Or however many are part of the happening happening happening. 

Eat well foods.  Happy belly, happy mind.  Good vibes and smiles pass on like yawns.

There are many different kinds of relations to share with another.  Some are of a brief encounter, others are of longer haul.  Being honest to what each see as healthy for onecanother be of best.  No worries and no gault of eachother to try and see if two van work it and live up to their wildest of dreams.  You never know where the path to lead once start walking new land. 

Turn on your love light and let shine for the warmth to gain from carrying such light and for the joy others benefit from being of witness.  As that darn light that attracts and kills bugs, so are we people to such pretty lights.


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Hip, hip... WhoRAy!!!

Eye was thinking the other day...  ahh, thinking never done me no good.



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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109461 - 08/19/15 01:40 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Just do u, man. By that I don't mean u should fuck urself..

I mean invest in ur own self, go out and have a little fun.


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: makaveli8x8]
    #22109486 - 08/19/15 01:57 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:hug: thanks guys, I guess I just feel like everyone has so much more going for them that when I think about my own self worth i feel inadequate. There's a girl that likes me at work but I don't even know what the fuck to do with myself let alone another person.
Quote:

makaveli8x8 said:
Quote:

Rebelutionsssss said:
Fuck I'm frustrated :crankey: I've literally been stuck like this pretty much my whole life and can't break out of it. I'm watching my life pass me by because I'm incapacitated by all my fear




you sound just like me, you wanna go gey together?  i call dibs on top



And fuck yea I do man :lol:


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OfflineSoulidarity
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109504 - 08/19/15 02:11 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Dude your not marrying a chick and having kids at your age. It's not about what your doing with your life or any of that. That's a secondary thing. It's about your personality and whether your fun to be around and all that. If the chick likes you she won't care too much about money or any of that, not to start anyways, lol.

Just talk to them and see where it goes. If you can get their attention and hold a conversation with them that's pretty much half the battle won already


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R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate.
[/url]


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OfflineJohnny_Wills
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Soulidarity]
    #22109555 - 08/19/15 02:39 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Sounds like you need to work on yourself first. If you can't come to terms with yourself, and feel good about who you are, no one else will. I think you are probably a little depressed as well.
I'd recommend going on crazy adventures to battle your depression first. Bungee Jumping, parachuting, scuba diving, etc. I used to feel like you do, but i managed to get over it by going out on the edge and doing some things i never imagined i was capable of . It helped me feel alive, and it somehow rebooted my system and boosted my self esteem. Parachuting really helped me, believe it or not. There is something awesome about jumping from a plane.
And hey, having hours long chats with gals about all the crazy things you did and how they felt can't hurt your chances of getting laid :wink: Girls like it a little crazy.


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109570 - 08/19/15 02:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

If it helps you any, I've never asked a girl out. Just never could bring myself to do it. I've had my confidence and self image absolutely hammered since I started kindergarten. By the time I got to the age where having a GF was the norm, I just could never bring myself to even ask, never felt I was even worth it. But I've had GFs as far back as fourth or fifth grade (obviously not to the extent the term is usually used, but we were romantically linked, for whatever that means to a 10 year old.)

I haven't had a lot of GFs in my life, but that's not really a bad thing IMO. The other side of that coin is I haven't had near as many heart breaks as the average person.

Still though, I did find GFs, not undesirable people either. I don't think I have some unnatural draw, I think relationships just happen when they're supposed to happen. Trying to force it, as I've seen with everyone else around me, just ends in spectacular failure, and usually pretty damn quickly.

I've been married over 10 years now. I'm not divorced because I really couldn't ask for a more understanding and caring wife. I didn't go seeking this relationship, it just happened. Meanwhile most everyone I know who goes looking for it, ends up divorced in just a couple of years. Being alone sucks, but maybe it's best to just wait for fate to deal you your hand.


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With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (08/19/15 02:56 AM)


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22109591 - 08/19/15 03:11 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Well said shroom :hug: as much as I want to be in a relationship and have someone to love I know I can't deal with it at the moment. Honestly I look at some peoples relationships and envy their love and happiness but at the same time I see them fight and what pain it can bring which just makes me happy that I'm not in that shit. If I wanna go out and party I do it, if I wanna get up and take a trip out of state I can say "fuck it" and pack up my stuff and bounce. I really do miss the love an affection but I cherish my freedom and sanity way more than having someone to go back home too.

And I know no girl would want to put up with the amount of psychedelics I tend to do monthly. I can barely understand my thought process 50% of the time so I see no light at the end of the tunnel for anyone else trying to get what I'm all about


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To define is to confine.


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Offlinehealing
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109631 - 08/19/15 03:41 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I don't understand why you feel pressure to ask women out. It's not really an issue.

Relationships are composed of communication. To engage in a relationship is to open channels of communication. A healthy relationship is one in which new channels of communication are opened and an unhealthy relationship is one in which channels of communication are closed.

As you meet people, you communicate with them. If you find a person you enjoy communicating with, you open further channels of communication with that person. You go from, "My name is..." to, "I like..." to, "How was your weekend?"

Over time your opening channels of communication will lead to a situation in which further time is required to transfer the information that is necessary to satisfy the desire for new channels of communication that the relationship calls for. No daunting ritual of asking out necessary, if you don't want to. Just wait for the inevitable situation in which the other person suggests a place and time. And that's the reality of it. It is inevitable. I mean that literally.

If you keep opening your channels of communication to people for whom you like to open your channels of communication you will eventually end up in the type of relationship or relationships of whatever sort you seek.


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Open mind, open heart, open book.



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InvisibleHobozen
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109638 - 08/19/15 03:47 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

There's plenty of women out there just as fucked up as you are, and plenty who are even more fucked up.  We're all in our own little worlds here.  It'll happen spontaneously so there's no point in trying to overanalyze how you would behave in such a situation.  When you meet someone who resonates with you, and you both trust each other, your insecurities will fade into the background.


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Offlinesun_spots
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Johnny_Wills]
    #22109714 - 08/19/15 04:52 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Johnny_Wills said:
Sounds like you need to work on yourself first. If you can't come to terms with yourself, and feel good about who you are, no one else will. I think you are probably a little depressed as well.
I'd recommend going on crazy adventures to battle your depression first. Bungee Jumping, parachuting, scuba diving, etc. I used to feel like you do, but i managed to get over it by going out on the edge and doing some things i never imagined i was capable of . It helped me feel alive, and it somehow rebooted my system and boosted my self esteem. Parachuting really helped me, believe it or not. There is something awesome about jumping from a plane.
And hey, having hours long chats with gals about all the crazy things you did and how they felt can't hurt your chances of getting laid :wink: Girls like it a little crazy.




I've heard and given advice like this a lot, and while it is true that knowing oneself is essential to building fulfilling relationships with others, it's not true that depression precludes one from intimacy.  I have chronic depression and am still able to maintain a relationship and raise my children in a healthy, loving and nurturing environment.  If depression is persistent, it's best for a person to accept it as an integral part of their personal constitution and learn to live with it.

This may not be op's problem, though.  Sounds like he's just letting insecurity get the best of him.

OP: Would you say that the failure to be assertive with women is significantly impacting your life in a negative way?  Or is this a minor problem for you?


--------------------
ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: sun_spots]
    #22109740 - 08/19/15 05:08 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I would say it impacts it to a certain degree. I've always been a socially aquward person due to me moving around during high school. I went to 3 different high schools in 3 years so I never really made a group of friends I could really open up too which is why I think I found psychedelics. Anyways, yea it definitely impacts my life negatively because I'm just not outgoing enough for most women which is why I've only really had one long term relationship which was only 3 years.

I'm feeling kind of hopeless in my current position


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Offlinesun_spots
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Re: I feel like I can't ask women out [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22109744 - 08/19/15 05:12 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

It's hard to make connections with peers when you lack physical stability in those crucial adolescent years.  I think you should focus on making friends right now, and see where that takes you.


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ShiVersblood said:
shut ur fucking mouth. before a penis is are be enters

LordSenate said:
Cheese poop... Who gives a fuck gotta eat lots of cheese.


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