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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: koods] * 2
    #22105731 - 08/18/15 08:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Times like this, I wish the shroomery had a -1 feature.



Unshroomy as fuck.


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PLUR


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OfflinePinPornProducer
Buy the ticket, take the ride
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Registered: 08/23/14
Posts: 9,981
Loc: Rocky Point R.I Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 24 days
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: PLURAL] * 4
    #22105812 - 08/18/15 08:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

A bus driver on route pulls over and picks up a nun, the nun gets on the bus and sits in the seat right behind the bus driver. Bus driver drives a little more, pulls over and picks up a long haired hippie dude. Hippie dude gets in the bus and sits right next to the nun.

Bus driver continues his route and hears the hippie dude talking to the nun. Hippe dude says to the nun, Id really like to fuck you. The nun slaps the hippie dude, makes the driver stop the bus and goes running off. Bus driver continues his route and stops to let the hippie dude off at his stop.

As the hippie dude goes to get off the bus the driver stops him and he says, dude I heard you talking to the nun and I know how you can sleep with her. Hippies like how? Driver says every Sunday night at 7pm she goes to the cemetery down the street and kneels by the big oak tree and prays to Jesus.

Driver says you look like Jesus, your tall, skinny and have a long heard. Just buy a robe and buy some glowing green powder from a costume store and rub it all over your skin and hide behind the tree. When she starts praying just jump out from behind the tree and she'll do whatever you want. Hippie dudes like fuck yea man, thanks.

So Sunday night the hippie is waiting behind the tree at the cemtetary dressed like Jesus and sure enough, here comes the nun at 7pm like the driver said. She kneels down and starts praying, the hippie dude jumps out from behind the tree and says "I am Jesus, I will answer all your prayers under 1 condition". The nuns says oh yes, anything for you. Jesus says you must have sex with me. The nun says uh... ok but it has to be anal sex because I don't want to lose my virginity and get kicked out of the church. Jesus says that's fine, bends the nun over and pounds the shit out of her ass.

He finished and stands up, pulls his robe off and wiped the glowing powder off his skin and says "Haha I'm the hippie dude from the bus. The nun stands up, takes of her wig and says "Haha I'm the bus driver"


Edited by PinPornProducer (08/18/15 02:09 PM)


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OfflineJohnnyR1ngo
The Great One
Male


Registered: 07/07/15
Posts: 65
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: PinPornProducer] * 3
    #22105848 - 08/18/15 09:06 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Lil Johnny was sitting on a street corner... Shaking a bottle of turpentine, when a preacher walks up an ask, Johnny what on Earth are you doing son? Johnny said, I'm just sitting here shaking a bottle of the most powerful liquid in the world... The preacher replied, Johnny I think your mistaken and reached in to his coat and pulled out a small vial.. Preacher said, Johnny this here is holy water, it's the most powerful liquid in the world... If you put two drops of this on a pregnant woman's belly.. She'll pass a baby boy... Johnny laughed, said that ain't shit preach.. Held up his bottle of turpentine, he said, you put two drops of this on a cats ass.. And that motherfucker will pass a motorcycle ....


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Post are for fictional purposes... Never have I had experience in anything mentioned in this forum.. Or will I ever, I just like to write a bunch of fiction for entertainment purposes.. Don't believe a single thing... All pictures and videos were used with respective owners permission.. And found elsewhere on the net... Not all views and opinions are necessary affiliated with JohnnyR1ngo or his affliates... Be Well....


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Onlinekoods
Ribbit
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Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,057
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 minute, 46 seconds
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: PLURAL]
    #22105867 - 08/18/15 09:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Treant said:
Quote:

koods said:
Times like this, I wish the shroomery had a -1 feature.



Unshroomy as fuck.



Did you see how bad his joke is?


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NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleSoupSandwich
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Registered: 12/08/14
Posts: 4,440
Loc: Lost
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: koods] * 1
    #22105988 - 08/18/15 09:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)



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OfflinePLURAL
PLUR
Male

Registered: 01/16/14
Posts: 31,320
Loc: PLUR
Last seen: 2 months, 28 days
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: koods] * 2
    #22106882 - 08/18/15 02:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

Treant said:
Quote:

koods said:
Times like this, I wish the shroomery had a -1 feature.



Unshroomy as fuck.



Did you see how bad his joke is?



Wow bro, I can't believe you just went there...

You stepped way over the shroominess line

I highly suggest you go eat at least 3.5 grams of psychedelic mushrooms before you continue to post here.


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PLUR


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OfflineHalluciNate
Trippage! / Loving
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: koods]
    #22107024 - 08/18/15 02:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

Treant said:
Quote:

koods said:
Times like this, I wish the shroomery had a -1 feature.



Unshroomy as fuck.



Did you see how bad his joke is?



koods you're just making it funnier! :lmafo:


--------------------
We are here to assist, to teach you to evolve as we go through this process together. We give our own version of things only to bring you to a higher consciousness. No matter what situation you find yourself in, it is the power of your thoughts that got you there. It is also the impeccable belief that thought creates that will transform your experience and the planetary existence.




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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: HalluciNate]
    #22107027 - 08/18/15 02:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

koods already won this.  Time for OP to pay up.


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 4 hours, 48 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zappaisgod] * 2
    #22107096 - 08/18/15 03:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

4 nuns go see a priest to confess.

Nun1 : oh father forgive me for I have sinned, I have kissed a man... Priest says; don't worry, rinse your lips with holy water and all shall be forgiven. She does it and walks away

Nun 2: Oh father forgive me for I have sinned, I have given a handjob to a man... Priest says don't worry, wash your hands holy water and all shall be forgiven. She does it and leaves.

Nun 3: Oh father forgive for I have sinned.... Then Nun 4 immediately interupts her and says "I'm not rinsing my mouth with that water if she washes her ass with it first.


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*
Other

Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #22107130 - 08/18/15 03:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I was on the bus with my friend the other day when I told the joke: "What do you do if you see an epileptc having a seizure in the bath? Throw your laundry in with him!"

Unfortunately, there was a man sitting behind us when I told this, and he leaned over the seat and said "That's not funny at all, my Son happened to die from having a seizure in the bath."

We were both obviously mortified, and the man got up to leave as it got to his stop. As he passed us we heard him say "The fucking idiot choked on a sock."


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OfflinePinPornProducer
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #22107137 - 08/18/15 03:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
I was on the bus with my friend the other day when I told the joke: "What do you do if you see an epileptc having a seizure in the bath? Throw your laundry in with him!"

Unfortunately, there was a man sitting behind us when I told this, and he leaned over the seat and said "That's not funny at all, my Son happened to die from having a seizure in the bath."

We were both obviously mortified, and the man got up to leave as it got to his stop. As he passed us we heard him say "The fucking idiot choked on a sock."



Now that's some funny shit


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: PinPornProducer]
    #22107146 - 08/18/15 03:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

That is pretty good but koods still has a huge lead.


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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
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Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zappaisgod]
    #22107347 - 08/18/15 03:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Im gunna let this go a few more hours and then pay up tonight :smile:


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Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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OfflineHalluciNate
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zappaisgod]
    #22107359 - 08/18/15 03:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

zappaisgod said:
koods already won this.  Time for OP to pay up.



His joke was a reply to mine, which reinforced it....:tongue2:

Funny stuff though.:rofl:


--------------------
We are here to assist, to teach you to evolve as we go through this process together. We give our own version of things only to bring you to a higher consciousness. No matter what situation you find yourself in, it is the power of your thoughts that got you there. It is also the impeccable belief that thought creates that will transform your experience and the planetary existence.




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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
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Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country Flag
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: HalluciNate]
    #22107782 - 08/18/15 05:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Im gunna hand out the supporter account right before I go to bed so 4 hours give or take.

I think Koods is winning but I haven't looked through the whole thread yet


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 4 hours, 48 minutes
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Zombi3] * 1
    #22107784 - 08/18/15 05:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

That's right. Give the supporter account to the mod...


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Patlal]
    #22107792 - 08/18/15 05:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

He earned it.


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InvisibleZombi3
Bella Ciao!!
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Posts: 27,086
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Patlal]
    #22107796 - 08/18/15 05:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

It's not my fault he got the most votes, he played by the rules and took the cake. Only thing I can do now is let the thread go for another day but I'm not convinced he wouldn't still win. :shrug:


--------------------
Youve Met With A Terrible Fate, Havent You?

Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!!
In Crust We Trust


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zappaisgod] * 1
    #22107808 - 08/18/15 05:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Moderator accounts already have every perk of a supporter account, and then some.  Leave it to zombi 3 to do something as bright as buying a mod a supporter account though.


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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Zombi3]
    #22107811 - 08/18/15 05:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

There is no way anybody will top that.  It was original and brilliant.


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