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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: SoulButter]
#22103705 - 08/17/15 05:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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A winner right here!
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MinnesnowtaNice
FriendofHagrid


Registered: 09/18/13
Posts: 1,316
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Le_Canard] 2
#22103720 - 08/17/15 05:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You want to hear a joke? Woman's rights.
-------------------- we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.
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Zombi3
Bella Ciao!!




Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 27,086
Loc: Bat Country
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: SoulButter]
#22103725 - 08/17/15 05:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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LOL
-------------------- You’ve Met With A Terrible Fate, Haven’t You?
Click here to enter this weeks Ban Lottery!! In Crust We Trust
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,356
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 32 minutes, 44 seconds
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Zombi3] 9
#22103728 - 08/17/15 05:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What did Zombi3 say to himself after leaving the hospital, post-DOC trip?
"That was toe-tally worth it!"
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: MinnesnowtaNice] 3
#22103734 - 08/17/15 05:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
MinnesnowtaNice said: You want to hear a joke? Woman's rights.
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MinnesnowtaNice
FriendofHagrid


Registered: 09/18/13
Posts: 1,316
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 1
#22103747 - 08/17/15 05:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
LogicaL Chaos said: What did Zombi3 say to himself after leaving the hospital, post-DOC trip?
"That was toe-tally worth it!"

-------------------- we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: SoulButter]
#22103753 - 08/17/15 05:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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one day i was at a bar,...i had gotten a couple beers in me and was starting to feel pretty good, but this damn barfly had been buzzing around the bar for a good while, and it was just really getting to me; so i started tracking it. with my eyes i started to dart along with the fly's perceived trajectory, from within my seat, i darted my hand out and grabbed the cocksucker...but i didn't crush it...no, i nabbed it straight and narrow as it crossed my eyes and didn't squish it; so i slid it hand into my fingers from my palm, and looked it up and down, and i thought to myself.
i decided what i'd do, for retribution for annoying me...i decided i'd tear off it's wings, so i did, very carefully, extracted the wings with the tips of my nails, and then tossed it on the ground, "there, now you can WALK the rest of your life!"
oh, but he wasn't done with me yet....
no, about two and half or so beers later, there he is on my fucking pant leg! staring right at me, with his beady little eyes! no wings!
i slightly panicked and drew a cold sweat from my intoxicated brow, then took a sip of beer, and finally i had enough of this creepy fly son-of-bitch. i took him up by his ass again in-between my fingers and strained to meticulously pick off each of his bitty legs...except one. and th-oop! tossed the bastard, "there OK, you can crawl for the rest of your life then!"
no more climbing people's legs for him. don't get stepped on.
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Void_Hawk
e^(i*pi)+1 = 0
Registered: 04/15/15
Posts: 200
Loc: Sol 3
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: akira_akuma] 3
#22103863 - 08/17/15 06:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing - you already told her, twice.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Void_Hawk]
#22103875 - 08/17/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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MinnesnowtaNice
FriendofHagrid


Registered: 09/18/13
Posts: 1,316
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zZZz]
#22103916 - 08/17/15 06:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Lol I was joking man.
You took it to far.
-------------------- we are all thought forms in a cloud of synchronistic events.
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,356
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 32 minutes, 44 seconds
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: MinnesnowtaNice]
#22103987 - 08/17/15 06:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Heres one of many awesome quotes from my favorite TV show of all time, The Man Show....
"[dog poo explodes in Adam's face]
Adam Carolla: Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
Jimmy Kimmel: By the way, The Man Show is eligible for Emmy consideration."
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EnemaOfState
Chief


Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 1,210
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 6
#22104126 - 08/17/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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How can you tell if a hippie/wook girl is on her period? -shes wearing tiedyed socks-
How can you tell a hippie has been at your house? -He's still there.- What did he say when you told him to leave? - Namaste.-
-------------------- A Pretty Big Grizmatik Undergroundzies Conspiracy Too weird to live. Too rare to die.
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The Phleg
Big Dick Chakra




Registered: 03/07/10
Posts: 14,473
Loc: Uncanny Valley
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Zombi3] 12
#22104198 - 08/17/15 07:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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A guy applies for a job with the Chicago P.D.
Inspector says "These are the best qualifications I've ever seen, just one more test before you get the job. Take this gun, go out and shoot six black guys and a rabbit."
Guy replies "Why the rabbit?"
Inspector says "Fantastic attitude, you've got the job!"
-------------------- You wanna get high? Drink tap water. --------------------
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Shroomslip
Architekt



Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 3 hours, 38 minutes
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: The Phleg]
#22104215 - 08/17/15 07:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way. I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today. Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear. I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear. You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,356
Loc: The Inexpressible...
Last seen: 32 minutes, 44 seconds
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: The Phleg]
#22104290 - 08/17/15 08:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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lowbrow
Paddy Time!!!!


Registered: 09/12/08
Posts: 9,662
Last seen: 1 day, 23 hours
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: LogicaL Chaos] 5
#22104335 - 08/17/15 08:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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What's the difference between a tweaker and a thief?
Give up?
A thief will steal from you.
A tweaker will steal from you and help you look for what he stole.
-------------------- Amanita86 said: Sui is trying to mod right now. Kinda like a newborn calf tryin ta stand fer the first time ain’t it..
Edited by lowbrow (08/17/15 08:23 PM)
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: lowbrow] 2
#22104374 - 08/17/15 08:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: koods] 1
#22104394 - 08/17/15 08:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Why did Zombi3 call AAA?
he needed a toe
/thread
--------------------
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: zappaisgod]
#22104643 - 08/17/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
koods said: Why did Zombi3 call AAA?
he needed a toe
/thread
--------------------
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fapjack
Title



Registered: 07/26/07
Posts: 16,574
Loc: Central New Jersey
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
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Re: Post the funniest joke, win a supporter account! [Re: Zombi3] 5
#22104664 - 08/17/15 09:40 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Three cowboys - one from Louisiana, one from Arkansas, and the other from Oregon are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which they are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The guy from Louisiana says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why? just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands." The guy from Arkansas couldn't stand to be bested. "Why, I was walking down the trail yesterday and a 15 foot long rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands and bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today!" The Oregon cowboy remained silent, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.
--------------------
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