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2aaronmichael
Stranger

Registered: 12/14/14
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What brings you back after surrendering it all?
#22100120 - 08/16/15 07:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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On 9+ grams of mushroom tea today (Golden Teachers) I was presented with the opportunity to COMPLETELY let go of EVERYTHING. My entire existence was waving and I had the opportunity to die. I didn't fully surrender because I don't want to physically die! During my experience today I was being shown that all the profound things in my life have ever happened to teach me something (the singularity/oneness of all things) but I wasn't ready to accept dying even though it may be the cure for what I've been looking for in fungi in the first place (this is also after 4 ayahuasca sessions in the past two months where I've been shown that my next step is to COMPLETELY surrender...scary stuff!) When you surrender everything what brings you back to this physical existence?
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: 2aaronmichael] 1
#22100221 - 08/16/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Coming down when the drug wears off. You find your way back to yourself, those chemical effects don't last forever.
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DanDePacas
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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: 2aaronmichael]
#22100243 - 08/16/15 08:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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When you surrender you die, become nothing and start again from zero, at least from my experience and i had lots of NDEs and each one of them was amazing, last time some deities told me this is the last time they send me back, like it is the last chance to live in this universe because i have died dozens of times and it scared me at little but also made me happier than i ever was:)) fucked up shit, you know?
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Aldebaran
Psilo-Scribe



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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: 2aaronmichael] 1
#22100448 - 08/16/15 09:07 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
When you surrender everything what brings you back to this physical existence?
Speaking for myself at least:
You gradually come back, a bit like waking up..... from a non-thinking kind of trippy geometric visual consciousness plugged into the universe to "Oh I'm back again". Like this time you really woke up, the rest of your existence you've been asleep.
At this point you don't necessarily think that you *aren't* dead, it can feel as though you've made contact with some kind of fundamental reality which is grounded in a universal consciousness rather than physical matter - as though you are "in the matrix" and the physical world is revealed to be an instantiation (or maybe a simulation) of this much bigger picture. You're not just dead....you've been dead for centuries......this is the fundamental reality that exists behind life and death, a godlike and limitless existence.
It could be something like this.........or it could be different. It can feel like being processed by alien technology, knowing God, becoming God, or something more along Buddhist lines of experiencing the ultimate reality.
At some point the delusions wear off enough to leave you convinced that you are genuinely back in the same physical reality you started off in, but until then its a "pure state of hallucinogenic mania", as it says approvingly in one of my trip journals. A very euphoric kind of mindfuck.
It feels like even when you do let go of everything, you fall back into a deeper level of consciousness which seems a lot more fundamental than the surface chatter of the day-to-day waking mind.
In this state, although your internally verbalized thoughts are silenced, there's almost a kind of awareness of your unconscious mind that opens up, as though a small bright light at the cave entrance has been switched off, allowing you to see a much vaster and deeper cavern glowing silently in the darkness. A universe opening up and revealing itself inside your mind....and to get there you just need to let yourself 'die' within the trip.
 
-------------------- I wrote that, but I meant something else
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Rebelutionsssss
Mdmazing



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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: Aldebaran]
#22100524 - 08/16/15 09:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Be careful when you completely let go. You have to want to come back otherwise you could get stuck in the ego death mindset
-------------------- : To define is to confine.
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2aaronmichael
Stranger

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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: Aldebaran]
#22100609 - 08/16/15 09:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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A beautiful rendition of what happens. Thank you!
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nuds



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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
#22101091 - 08/17/15 12:01 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Can you elaborate further on what you mean?
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Does

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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: 2aaronmichael]
#22101106 - 08/17/15 12:10 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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To me it's more acceptance than surrender, surrender implies choice in the matter
Which would be suicide, i just don't see the rush
Might as well take the time familiarizing with a potential future home and or pitstop
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Aldebaran
Psilo-Scribe



Registered: 11/26/09
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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: Does]
#22101685 - 08/17/15 07:03 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
To me it's more acceptance than surrender, surrender implies choice in the matter
To me it feels like surrender if the trip is very oppressive and is perceived as a kind of external force that is crushing my consciousness. I had a few fairly delusional trips where it felt like the "wrath of God" was going to put an end to my days, and the only way out was to admit total defeat and surrender to God.
In later trips if I get this sense of God as the trip builds (I'm pretty much athiest so its a bit weird) I'm more able to accept this kind of presence as something positive, rather than in a literal religious way, so it doesn't escalate into something threatening me at the peak of the trip.
Another more exciting type of surrender is if the trip feels like some kind of alien conspiracy - as though the architecture of the inside of the trip, and what happens at the peak, is not exactly an afterlife but somewhere that super-intelligent aliens are able to harvest my consciousness..... or something It's like I'm looking in my CEV at either alien architecture, or the realms of the dead, or they are both the same thing
I quite like this kind of trip because it feels like a good science fiction film, although it does scare me sometimes when I "realize" that "they" are real and I've gone too far......time to surrender. It's a choice to surrender, but there is no real alternative except hanging on for grim death while the trip closes in. Surrendering means I can wait for the inevitable end with a sense of peace, so I suppose its a kind of acceptance too.
Going into the peak of the trip in a state of acceptance, for me, is where I am able to keep a more calm, clear, almost meditative state and let the trip take over my mind without fighting it, even if it feels like its taking me into oblivion. Even if you fight the trip, it forces you into eventual acceptance anyway (unless the intensity of the trip starts to die away before it completely swallows you up). At this point you realize there was nothing to be afraid of, you've just been fighting against yourself...
It helps me if I am able to keep in mind that this feeling of death, the ending of everything that I know, is just a transition of consciousness from one state to another.....as though "dying" is OK because I've done it before, the sense of "dying" is just the logical brain's way of interpreting something more complex. It can feel like a necessary stage in the trip, something that has to happen, the same way that sleep feels inevitable when you're tired.
So....if my previous post was trying to answer "what happens after you surrender?" I suppose this is "What happens before?"
All this kind of stuff is so individual that you're unlikely to get people agreeing exactly on how they experience this kind of trip or choose to describe it, and no two trips are exactly the same... I've just tried to give a rough outline of what happens to me when the trip gets really heavy and approaches the event horizon...
-------------------- I wrote that, but I meant something else
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: 2aaronmichael]
#22101799 - 08/17/15 07:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
2aaronmichael said: On 9+ grams of mushroom tea today (Golden Teachers) I was presented with the opportunity to COMPLETELY let go of EVERYTHING. My entire existence was waving and I had the opportunity to die. I didn't fully surrender because I don't want to physically die! During my experience today I was being shown that all the profound things in my life have ever happened to teach me something (the singularity/oneness of all things) but I wasn't ready to accept dying even though it may be the cure for what I've been looking for in fungi in the first place (this is also after 4 ayahuasca sessions in the past two months where I've been shown that my next step is to COMPLETELY surrender...scary stuff!) When you surrender everything what brings you back to this physical existence?
Yeah, I first had that exact experience on liberty caps many years ago. Didn't do it then either. I think it's an ego projection in the face of imminent dissolution (because you won't PHYSICALLY die no matter what you think), and once you actually just surrender to the void you'll see that...
Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream It is not dying, It is not dying Lay down all thoughts, surrender to the void And it is shining, it is shining
Tomorrow Never Knows by the Beatles.
Uhm, if you get what I mean here. It might SEEM scary but really it's immensely liberating. There is no loss. 
FWIW though, if you really pay attention to this stuff, you might eventually notice that where you come BACK to isn't exactly where you LEFT. And in that there lies an immense clue to what you, and all this, really is.
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Soul journey 879
Spirit Traveler
Registered: 08/12/15
Posts: 10
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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: PrimalSoup]
#22103300 - 08/17/15 03:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think your soul. You've got a Life to live.
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qweqaz
Break-through


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Re: What brings you back after surrendering it all? [Re: Soul journey 879]
#22103343 - 08/17/15 04:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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