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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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A horrible day. *DELETED*
#22088341 - 08/13/15 05:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by drum of rumReason for deletion: fucking stupid
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
Edited by drum of rum (08/13/15 07:20 PM)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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what do mean u "had" ur ex gf?.. 
sorry to hear man.. hope u feel better
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
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wait a minute
so the first night you met her, you started "exploring each other's bodies"
and then that was the last time you saw for a few years...and then the very first night you crossed paths with her again, you & your homey did some "soft three way" with her
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
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Re: A horrible day. [Re: Niffla]
#22088570 - 08/13/15 06:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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sorry that's all I got from the story
will read again sometime
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: A horrible day. *DELETED* *DELETED* [Re: drum of rum]
#22088665 - 08/13/15 07:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Post deleted by drum of rumReason for deletion: lmao see above
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: A horrible day. [Re: Niffla]
#22088676 - 08/13/15 07:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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yep exactly. both times we were young and drunk.what do u think? I added the rear btw
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
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Detached
You know where...


Registered: 02/27/15
Posts: 2,942
Last seen: 10 months, 15 days
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Stop coming across as 'hopelessly in love' with this girl. She is fully aware of your feelings and will just take advantage of it if she isn't already.
Just move on. If it is meant to happen, the stars will line up and everything will work out. If it wasn't meant to be, there are plenty of bitches in the sea for you to try to fuck and one of them will appreciate you for who you are.
My $.02
Good luck!
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: A horrible day. [Re: Detached]
#22088810 - 08/13/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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thanks for the quick reply. you're absolutely right.
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: A horrible day. [Re: Niffla]
#22088823 - 08/13/15 07:50 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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kinda figured someone would single that part out. but its insignificant
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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.
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Edited by zappaisgod (08/13/15 08:02 PM)
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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be nice
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Quote:
drum of rum said: In my delusional mindset I thought maybe it was her. this led me to cheat on her with other girls just to protect my masculinity. I was a wreck.We were arguing all the time but I still loved her the same as I did when we first met. Eventually I had to get clean. I told her I was doing drugs and put myself in a rehab center. I told her I was doing it for me and I was but honestly I did it because I knew I would lose her if things kept going the way they were going. She was understandably shocked but supported me. she always supported me in the things I did. she was the best. I went away to get clean not knowing that it would actually take years to fully be myself again. when I got back things were the same as I had left them. I could tell how much of an impact this had on her. I felt like she was falling away from me and she was. slowly it got harder and harder to see her or be with her. everyday I would think about her.there wasn't a single day I didn't daydream about her. she claimed she still loved me but I could tell there was a lot more to the picture. after some time we broke up but I was always madly I love with her.. I ended up in jail for violating probation. I knew after the 8 months were over she would be history. I wrote to her from jail but didn't get a response... until 2 months later. she told me she loved me and about how her life was. she told me she would be there when I got out. Those words kept me sane during my short 4 month sentence.I was released to a halfway house where they allowed you to leave every other weekend for the day and be back by9. things were starting to look better.I saw her as soon as i could. even though I was chubby as fuck from commisery food and nervous for her to see me like that I went for it and had her over on my weekend away. she was beautiful and my body and mind were feeling great being away from all drugs for almost 11 months. I could tell I looked bad by the reaction she had when she saw me but the love was still there. that's a that's ever mattered to me. we had sex that night but it was cut short due to the short amount of time I had to spend with the family. I went back to the halfway house feeling amazing. I felt like after all the dust settled maybe I could walk away with the her in the end. s
4 months later I got out of the program and was allowed to go house. within 2 months of being home I find out from family members that she is having sex with other people. I figured it would be like this since I did so much awful shit so I brushed it off even though my heart felt like it was being stabbed and torn to pieces. that didn't stop me from loving her exactly as much as I did in the beginning.I wanted her so bad.... I still went to see her. I would come to her house in the middle of the night and go to her room where she would be waiting for me. I would hold her body close and tell her I loved her. I loved her so much.... I talked about getting back together and sometimes she would too but most of the time it would end in her telling my why it wouldn't work. (past problems, cheating,etc,).
I had only seen her a few times since I got out of the program and one day were arguing and she said something about my dick being unsatisfactory that damaged me so bad. I felt like she was a different person. I was hurt beyond belief. my ego was torn to shreds. I wanted to die. and through all of that I still loved her exactly the same! call me crazy but I just couldn't help it.
about a year later my dad died and my world kind of fell out from under me. she was there to comfort me though. she had finally responded to a message I sent her trying to explain that I was still so in love. she said I'm sorry it took something like this to happen for me to come out and tell you i love you too.
Now let's skip to what happened yesterday...
I've been clean now for years and I feel excellent! I'm almost done with probation and my life is so close to being normal again. I thought now would be the perfect time to see her in person and see where I stand in her eyes.
I was talking to her and one thing led to another and I sent her a picture of my naked body like a fucking idiot. just to see how she would react. well she ended up saying "I don't ever want to see your dick again". and damn did that suck. she said if she was gonna come over there would be no hooking up AT ALL. I agreed not thinking about how shitty it would feel to have my mind and heart conflicting around her. I wanted to kiss her and touch her.. hold her close... I wanted to show her how things have changed and how much I felt for her...I wanted to show her good sex if things worked out...I had to redeem myself and show her that those drug related problems are all in the past. I could get so descriptive of what I wanted to do it wouldn't be appropriate for this website..at this point it's been over a year s'ince I've seen her and I'm sure she's had good sex with someone by now but that doesn't matter to me. I still love her so much and I thought that maybe just maybe she would too.
so I picked her up thinking she doesn't want to even touch me. (Obviously right?) and that's when things got awkward. we drove back to my house and smoked some of her dab oil. that's when I could tell things were going downhill. she noted how awkward it would be to see my family and got paranoid as hell which made me paranoid too. I had planned to make us some chicken wings and just chill and talk really but she had made it seem like me cooking us some chicken wings was too much or something. she pretty much kept giving me signals that this is absolutely not what she wanted. I felt very conflicted but roughed it out. we ended up watching half of some stupid movie and giving each other looks every now and then but she was so adamant about what she said I was nervous I would ruin what little I had left with her if I advanced. she made pretty obvious moves on me and I backed down confused,conflicted, and hurt. She said she had to go home soon so I started to put my shoes on but she wouldn't get ready. she said something awkward that contradicted what she said to me so seriously about hooking up. I should have just disregarded what she said about hooking up altogether and done what my heart was telling me to do but I fucked it up. I ended up bringing her home. I never got the chance to tell her I loved her. it was easily the most disappointing day of my life and I'm torn about it. I can't believe it had to go down like this. my heart feels heavy and I'm constantly feeling the worst. I just wanted things to be okay but I failed miserably. I've never had a bad experience like this with any girl but this just has me broken. I'm nothing if I can't love the person I love. this is so fucked up. and worst of all I can't possibly explain this to her. she would never give me a chance. she's gone now. Abe hasn't responded to my texts. I don't expect her to after that. .
any advice? I'm in need of answers
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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be nice
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Re: A horrible day. [Re: zZZz]
#22088922 - 08/13/15 08:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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ZzZZZ what's up my man
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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That's gotta be one of the most intimidating walls of text I have ever laid eyes on
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,485
Loc: Texas
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Quote:
OhMrJohnson said: That's gotta be one of the most intimidating walls of text I have ever laid eyes on
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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not much mang
chillin chillin
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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feel free to roast me maybe that's what I need
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
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Malcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??



Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc:
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Quote:
OhMrJohnson said: That's gotta be one of the most intimidating walls of text I have ever laid eyes on
For real!
-------------------- I'm stupid, Enlil is smart. I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful. I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.
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drum of rum
The original nomad


Registered: 06/16/15
Posts: 105
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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lmao I heard in in riff raffs voice
-------------------- Addiction is on the rise while government run drug rehabilitation centers and jail provide the illusion of an answer to the crisis for the sheeple while drug addicts remain stuck in a vicious cycle of drug addiction and jail just to provide more jobs and money for the 1%. Its all about money nobody gives a fuck!- SOAD Anything I may say here is not to be taken seriously.
Edited by drum of rum (08/13/15 08:21 PM)
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