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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22087876 - 08/13/15 03:45 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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From what I understand, current research suggests that genetics play a very small, if any, role in the formation of conditions like BPD & Schizophrenia. Back in the 70's & 80's it was believed that it played a far greater role than current research suggests, but as you know, scientific theory changes a lot over time.
Seriously brother, I know it'll take a bit of work on your part, but if you're taking this thing seriously, read that book I suggested in post #2. If you're serious about understanding your condition, you're gonna need to work harder than just sticking a question up on an internet forum. If not the book, then a psychiatrist & therapist if you want someone else to do the work. You're not gonna find what you need here.
My wife has BPD, so I'm no stranger to this shit. Interestingly, she seems reticent about understanding her condition too. I'm not surprised, as when you look into the root cause, it's very painful stuff.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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I've been to the GP and they referred me to a psychologist. They offered me lexapro but I'm not big on SSRI's since the last 2 i tried gave me manic episodes. Zoloft/Fluvoxatine
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22088573 - 08/13/15 06:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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So the psychiatrist (psychologists cannot normally prescribe drugs) offered you these drugs? Did they not give you a diagnosis first?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22088686 - 08/13/15 07:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should get a good diagnosis, if you are really having serious problems.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: Sun King]
#22088735 - 08/13/15 07:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm glad to hear you turned down the Lexapro (Escitalopram) - I've seen the side effects first hand, and they're absolutely horrific.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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I talked to the GP, general practitioner, doctor and he recommended me to see a psychologist. He afterwards offered me a prescription to lexapro but I would rather talk to a psychologist and get a real attempt at a diagnosis first.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22089164 - 08/13/15 08:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You cannot be accurately diagnosed this way, and I have considerable personal and clinical experience with Borderline Personality Disorder (if that is what you're trying to say). Self-loathing and frustration can result in those behaviors in people where some personality disorder is operative, or they can be an attempt to shock oneself into a condition of normalcy, much like with self-mutilation behaviors. A history-taking by a therapist in a clinical interview at the least is in order.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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I know =) and i'm booked for Monday. I'm not expecting to have BDP but I have a history of symptoms i'd like to discuss that sound similar to having BDP.
Just trying to hear about peoples experiences. Self loathing and frustration has been common for years. What kind of behaviors did you see in someone who had BDP?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22090596 - 08/14/15 10:24 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I know =) and i'm booked for Monday. I'm not expecting to have BDP but I have a history of symptoms i'd like to discuss that sound similar to having BDP.
Just trying to hear about peoples experiences. Self loathing and frustration has been common for years. What kind of behaviors did you see in someone who had BDP?
Firstly, it's BPD NOT BDP. (which is why you got tagged as dyslexic by Sun King). This is a good Wiki link that takes the burden off of me having to write the same basic material. I've had a 9th grade boy threaten suicide if a girl didn't date him when I worked in a junior high school, and a beautiful sexy young female threaten suicide if I didn't allow her to move into my residential consulting room. Aside from those unique to me, yet typical Glenn Close 'Fatal Attraction' BPD behaviors, just read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Wow, my honest apologies to all I didn't realise my spelling error.
I've been weird and labeled weird most of my life because of my impulsive behaviors and reading about BPD, my experiences make sense and I understand them.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22091790 - 08/14/15 03:56 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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there aren't any complete fixes drug wise for BPD. behavioral cognitive therapy is your best option if you do indeed have it.
i have some questions for you though. are you manipulative? if so, is it in situations where you fear abandonment?
you need to get an official diagnosis from a doctor though first... then you can focus on getting treatment.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,856
Last seen: 7 minutes, 24 seconds
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22092022 - 08/14/15 05:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Wow, my honest apologies to all I didn't realise my spelling error.
I've been weird and labeled weird most of my life because of my impulsive behaviors and reading about BPD, my experiences make sense and I understand them.
Care to share some of your experiences?
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: Kickle]
#22092097 - 08/14/15 05:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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The kind of experiences you would expect for someone with BPD. I've had low self respect throughout my life, I'm overly emotional, rather impulsiveness, unstable expressions and in general I feel like i'm standing on the edge of a flat surface. Discovering an affair only made it worse.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder
In the section; International Classification of Disease. Everything ticked except for -excessive efforts to avoid abandonment;
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (08/14/15 05:28 PM)
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,856
Last seen: 7 minutes, 24 seconds
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly] 1
#22092138 - 08/14/15 05:36 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well I'll aim to be overvalued by you 
p.s. if you do end up diagnosed I recommend asking about DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22092202 - 08/14/15 06:04 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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the symptoms you describe overlap a LOT with other disorders like ADHD, aspergers, bipolar... believe me when i say i understand where you are coming from.
a lot of it is dysfunction originating in the frontal lobe, especially the bits about impulsiveness and emotional instability.
there are medications that increase activity in this region, but again CBT has been proven effective in treating Borderline personality disorder.
edit- ^^DBT is a good treatment route as well... i haven't looked much at what it is until today, but what i understand it is a form of mindfulness about your situations and relationships and thoughts
Edited by 404 (08/14/15 06:07 PM)
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: From what I understand, current research suggests that genetics play a very small, if any, role in the formation of conditions like BPD & Schizophrenia. Back in the 70's & 80's it was believed that it played a far greater role than current research suggests, but as you know, scientific theory changes a lot over time.
Seriously brother, I know it'll take a bit of work on your part, but if you're taking this thing seriously, read that book I suggested in post #2. If you're serious about understanding your condition, you're gonna need to work harder than just sticking a question up on an internet forum. If not the book, then a psychiatrist & therapist if you want someone else to do the work. You're not gonna find what you need here.
My wife has BPD, so I'm no stranger to this shit. Interestingly, she seems reticent about understanding her condition too. I'm not surprised, as when you look into the root cause, it's very painful stuff.
trauma is the largest factor for this disease along with parenting. the trauma is generally built up over the years from faulty interaction with others.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: 404]
#22092235 - 08/14/15 06:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've often felt I was different to most and was told so often. It's been detrimental to my overall health which is why I'm doing what I can to address it now. I have been to psychologists prior, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but did not show symptoms of ADHD or aspergers, I have individual friends with each of the disorder and my behaviors are inconsistent with theirs.
My experiences make sense and correlate to an incredibly high degree with a diagnosis of BPD. If they offer me another SSRI I'll most likely decline again. I believe CBT or DBT are worth trying.
That said I feel like I recognise what i'm doing a lot more right now. I often didn't feel safe, I get the idea in my mind that people are plotting against me, walking down the street I convince myself i'm being followed. These kind of thoughts have rarely made sense to me and I haven't known my explicit reasoning for thinking so.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22092244 - 08/14/15 06:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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again, you should talk to your physician about these things and see what they say. ADHD and aspergers are known for their impulsiveness in social situations and their emotional dysregulation. i know less about asperger's though than i do adhd. i've had both diagnoses from two seperate doctors, but the adhd one i have had the longest. there is a lot more to adhd than you would think
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: 404]
#22092276 - 08/14/15 06:28 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have read up on ADHD and Aspergers a fair amount too. I don't want to diagnose myself with anything but I am still in an unstable emotional state and have been for as long as I can remember.
I've been cataloging my experiences for almost 2 years now. I have several thousand notes explaining my day to day thoughts and feelings about my experiences. The experiences I have known and felt, correlate exceedingly well with examples given in various BPD diagnosis articles.
To name one or two experiences doesn't give much of the picture but here's a few. Uncontrollable weeping and intense emotional outbursts at random intervals throughout the day. Intrusive disturbing thoughts I've felt little to no control over.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (08/14/15 06:33 PM)
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: I think I have BDP [Re: sudly]
#22092368 - 08/14/15 06:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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the last two i can relate a lot to. i would be driving and then go into fits of rage, then crying, then rage and cycle. out of seemingly nowhere too. i've slowed my drug use quite a bit and the symptoms have eased up. if you haven't done so already, it might be a good time to do just that. also, i have a lot of anxiety that, while it's been worse, it's still there and comes with a lot of intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors to rid myself of those thoughts - ocd pretty much.
it's really annoying. but it still sounds to me like somethings up with your serotonin pathways or something similar.
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