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Anonymous #1

Im totally alone
    #22084428 - 08/13/15 01:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Have been for a good portion of my life, only had a couple serious relationships for the 24 years Ive been around. Lost nearly every single one of the friends Ive had due to various reckless behaviors and simply not caring enough to maintain them. Ive got a couple friends Ive managed to hand onto, but they both have their own lives so the times we hang out are far and few, although I do cherish them, and I cant complain. I got a roomate and I always leave the house regularly just so I dont look like a total loser even though its always just to go get drunk in a bar by myself, a park when Im feeling really down. No one seems to consider me a regular part of their lives anymore...and it hurts. No one cares to hang out with you when they realize you dont really have any other friends at 24.

I wonder if its always gonna be like this.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22084540 - 08/13/15 02:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Man, it sounds like you've got no fewer friends than I have, and have had no fewer relationships than I had at your age. With my work schedule, and the kind of work I do, I don't have much [real] human company either. However I definitely don't feel alone. Not in the slightest. I have myself, my books and my music. I only see my two friends a few times a year, but the quality of the time we spend more than makes up for it.

Perhaps it's just a matter of perspective and habits? I spend 1.5 hours a day at the gym, and that means I'm around people at least, and I've managed to strike up a few relationships there, although all but one of them is superficial. I suggest you'd be far better off hitting a gym in the evenings than spending that time getting drunk in a bar. The endorphins will make you feel great, you'll look better, and you never know who you'll meet there. And push your friends to meet. Mine certainly need it. Hell, if I haven't seen them for a while I'll just turn up on their doorstep the first opportunity I get and it always works out well.

And besides, you've always got the community here too. Keep on smiling brother.


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 2
    #22084804 - 08/13/15 04:21 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You will always have us man. If you're ever in Cali look me up, I love meeting new people :raisemyglass:


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:
To define is to confine.


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Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22084867 - 08/13/15 04:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
And besides, you've always got the community here too. Keep on smiling brother.



Everything Mr beard said is spot on. Also, dance music. Good clubs with good music are like (and have) good friends, they are few and far between but when you find them they are awesome. If you can find a weekly party in your area that you enjoy, going out a night a week can be very healthy for your spirit. Wednesday/Thursday nights tend to have better music and people with more substance than your average weekend club crowd. If the music is good, you don't even have to drink/get high or try to socialize at first, you can just dance and do your thing until you feel comfortable, in fact I highly recommend it. If you are enjoying yourself, then people and situations will open up to you. Just make sure to eat healthy in general and get good rest afterward when you do go out to keep your body strong. You also might want to look into super foods because when you find the right ones, your mind and body will love you and you will start to enjoy every moment more and more. It's only healthy if you make it healthy, but if you do it, life just might start to feel pretty damn good!
:peace::heart::sun:


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Edited by empty space (08/13/15 04:48 AM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: Im totally alone [Re: empty space]
    #22085217 - 08/13/15 07:53 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

First of all, stop drinking alcohol.

Second, just let everything wash over you. Life turns itself around if you decide to live it as much as it lives you.

I think you're being too critical, and judgemental. Just being honest. I say that because you're imposing your current depressive state of mind on how you percieve other's percieving you. "No one wants to hang out with someone with no friends at 24." Get a new job, start talking to people at the bar, go outside.. Life's a trip man. Go with the flow.

Don't worry,
About a thing


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #2] * 1
    #22085238 - 08/13/15 07:58 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Because everything, is gonna be alright


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:
To define is to confine.


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OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Rebelutionsssss]
    #22086158 - 08/13/15 11:04 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Well I can relate to you OP because when I moved I had to start over from scratch again basically

But your life is just beginning dude. At 24 you're still young as fuck. You can easily go meet new people if you go out and venture out (and no, that doesn't mean you go to a bar and get drunk by yourself....)

It sucks not having a relationship and friends when you want it, but you have to put in effort to get these things.. you just need to go find the hobbies you like to do and meet people doing the same shit. You can connect with people man.

Get out there and meet some folk.... most don't bite, but some do.... :tongue:


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Invisiblebasqueshaman
Todays scapegoat
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State Flag
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Uzziel]
    #22097261 - 08/16/15 01:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You are alone because you choose to be.  You have to actually open up to some one and let them get to know who you really are and have the same done for you before this will change. Unless you're like me and don't get the opportunity to do this.  Not saying that I've never had the chance but it doesn't happen often


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Anonymous #3

Re: Im totally alone [Re: basqueshaman]
    #22100197 - 08/16/15 07:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

U didnt care enough to maintain the frendships?
And now u sad u alone?
Stop being reckless maybe time to grow up.
  How this even a question.
Think about it
"Everything not saved, will be lost"
- nintendo quit screen


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OfflineMr. Magic
Male


Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22100798 - 08/16/15 10:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I feel for you man. Ive been friendless for my entire life, literally. Ive had one serious relationship that i fucked up myself. I will probably never forgive myself either.

Now im stuck in a rut without much motivation to even try in life. Ive started working out, but it wont last cus time will come when i ask myself why i even bother, then i quit.

I have no chance at making friends and definatly no chance on getting a lady. Girls dont go for guys like me.

I feel like ill be alone forever too. I dont even have one friend that i ever see. Idk it really gets me down somtimes but i just go about my days like im supposed to. :confused:


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OfflineMr. Magic
Male


Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Mr. Magic]
    #22100806 - 08/16/15 10:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Im serious i am the defination of alone to the T. No nothing ever, but the girl i loved and still do.:frown:


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Invisiblebasqueshaman
Todays scapegoat
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/01/11
Posts: 6,258
Loc: Washington State Flag
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Mr. Magic] * 1
    #22102506 - 08/17/15 11:55 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Fuck that noise brother,  I'll tell you right now with that attitude you will be.  If you think everything is always going to be shit and never try trust me it will be.  If you start working on yourself for yourself and adopt a positive attitude things can change, but only if you are open to life improving.  I have to tell myself every fucking day life is going to get better in time and once I actually have my degree in mortuary science life will be so much better.  Fuck the whole no one wants me because in not what I think girls want.  I've been in the same head space,  there is always always always someone who will like you,  often don't get me wrong they are not what you think you want,  you have to learn to look at the heart and soul of someone not how they look,  if you find looks to be more important I suggest meeting some escorts because even though you are paying for their time even some of them will like you,  but don't try and have a relationship outside of the arangment because it won't work.  Well chin up buckeroo mofo.  Get your mind right first and foremost.  Read my first post again and apply my advice.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im totally alone [Re: basqueshaman]
    #22105202 - 08/18/15 02:23 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Im gonna apply your post, above all others, thats the type of life I wish to abide by.


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Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22105243 - 08/18/15 02:52 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

yeahhhhh ignore everyone's advice except for the guy who recommends hookers..err escorts.


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Invisibleabductee
Time
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/07/15
Posts: 2,224
Loc: Canada
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22105245 - 08/18/15 02:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I know how you feel kinda, i'm a single parent with a child with a severe disability. just going to the store to get groceries can turn into a very long and stressful day. Its hard to have company over because im always watching my son, I cant attend birthday parties or hangout with friends with my son because he will either be in everything or trying to escape the residents.. so im always after him and cant socialize.. I've kinda secluded myself in my apt most times because its so much easier dealing with meltdowns at home.
24 is young as fuck, you have lots of time to make new connections with people, you'll get out of this rut.


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OfflineMr. Magic
Male


Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: basqueshaman]
    #22105791 - 08/18/15 08:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Idk i dont feel like anyone ever gives me a chance. It takes me a long time to warm up to someone and by the time i have theyve lost interest. When i get a chance, i dont get many i work all the time.

Like with girls for example. In my experience anyway, no matter how much of a douche a guy is, as long as he displays confidence, a girl will fall for him. I wish girls could look the other way and give a guy like me a chance. I have a hard time displaying confidence.

Its part of the reason i lost the girl i love. She has friends and things to do and a family with money, so i was channeling my negative energy to her and bringing her down, because i was jealous. I didnt do it on purpose but idk i just wanted to be like her so the relationship could work, but im just not social. I wanted to be the guy she could brag about and the guy to take her to a party, but i puss out.

Im a realist, and the fact of the matter is, i wont get better anytime soon. Ive already made changes to my lifestyle, it hasnt calmed down my mind yet. Sure maybe in time ill get better, but id rather not play denial with myself and say things like " oh its gunna be better today dont worry". Deep down i know it isnt, its going to take serious time.

I understand i need to change my way of thinking but its not easy. Ive always been this way. I just need friends but ill probably make the wrong friends. Like everyone in my area is the type that drinks all the time but jumps on ppl that do any other drugs. Oh and mostly everyone is christian and im athiest.

I just need to move to a more open minded environment.

But this all boils down to the day i lost my girl. Thats when i fell apart for real.


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OfflineMr. Magic
Male


Registered: 07/13/14
Posts: 1,951
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Mr. Magic]
    #22105809 - 08/18/15 08:48 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Its the peer pressure around here to be a good little christian boy. "Follow tradition." "Alcohols okay as long as you go to church on sunday, but not other drugs." Im the complete opposite, but i want to be accepted. So i just go back and forth with myself and it sucks.

If that makes sense.


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OfflineHellogoodbyedeath

Registered: 03/24/12
Posts: 2,904
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 17 days
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Uzziel]
    #22107046 - 08/18/15 02:52 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Uzziel said:
Well I can relate to you OP because when I moved I had to start over from scratch again basically

But your life is just beginning dude. At 24 you're still young as fuck. You can easily go meet new people if you go out and venture out (and no, that doesn't mean you go to a bar and get drunk by yourself....)

It sucks not having a relationship and friends when you want it, but you have to put in effort to get these things.. you just need to go find the hobbies you like to do and meet people doing the same shit. You can connect with people man.

Get out there and meet some folk.... most don't bite, but some do.... :tongue:



This. You'll be okay, OP.


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Offlinekactus.brand.g
Registered: 08/22/14
Posts: 6,886
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Hellogoodbyedeath]
    #22107444 - 08/18/15 04:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I will be your friend:biggrin:


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OfflineRainman420
Music is my Life
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 1,267
Last seen: 3 years, 8 days
Re: Im totally alone [Re: kactus.brand.g] * 1
    #22109174 - 08/18/15 11:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Start being more social if you want to get better at it and think that's what you want...

Usually the way life works is you do a thing > you experience thing > you internalize thing's meaning > you become better at thing while also realizing new things you didn't know you didn't know about am I right?


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OfflineRebelutionsssss
Mdmazing
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 07/23/14
Posts: 13,137
Loc: San Francisco
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Rainman420]
    #22109200 - 08/18/15 11:27 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I don't do many things so my expriance is limited to the shroomery and the psychedelic state


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:
To define is to confine.


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OfflinewakeINpeople
Stranger


Registered: 12/11/14
Posts: 609
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22114517 - 08/19/15 10:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Check this out....

Start to detox for a couple weeks first by eating fresh fruit and veg, cutting back on meat and dairy, cutting the booze and any hard drugs, and getting some exercise and plenty of clean water.  Then do some sessions with mushrooms a few times a month for a few months, while meditating in a park, at the beach, or walking through the woods.  Just listen to nature or some Ambient.  No angry music.  Nature is essential in your transformation.  If you can't get any then grow some real quick.  It's simple. 

Set your intentions on what you want clarity on during your trips.  Meditate on questions you may have about yourself.  Your gonna get some intense answers which can really help clear you out, coming both from the cosmos and from your higher self, and hopefully it will kick your desire to drink right out the door.  Psychedelics have been well known to easily wipe out peoples vices and addictions, this is probably why they were made illegal in the first place, but that's a whole other subject, lol.  Meditate on some things you find exciting, some passions you have or maybe used to have which you've been slacking on pursuing.

After you knock out the alcohol, and start acting on things that excite you, you will gravitate to other people who are doing those same things, and you'll have something in common with them, and dialogue will flow, and friendships will form, but you need to take the first step, because your totally in control of your life and which direction it's gonna go. 

Use the Shroom!!!

Peace


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Anonymous #1

Re: Im totally alone [Re: wakeINpeople]
    #22115127 - 08/20/15 01:39 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks everyone for the support, Ive decided to stop drinking and focus on myself for now. Im grabbing a gym pass this Friday and hitting it hard, I havent went regularly for about 2 years and I felt on top of shit when I did. The mushrooms are something Ive been meaning to as well and Ill probably be getting a grow started this weekend. Im without any real pack to run around with right now but you guys made me realize its really only temporary. You guys are awesome :hug:


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Anonymous #4

Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22115186 - 08/20/15 02:34 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

How do you truly open up to someone if you feel they won't like who you really are? Or the info they get will be used against you in some way to laugh at you etc?


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Invisibleabductee
Time
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/07/15
Posts: 2,224
Loc: Canada
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22115528 - 08/20/15 06:30 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

good for you! I know when I was hitting the gym,working out and getting focused I felt like a million bucks.. at the time I was separating myself from people who werent really my friends.. And  didnt mind I was busy doing me and getting strong and healthy.


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OfflinewakeINpeople
Stranger


Registered: 12/11/14
Posts: 609
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22115815 - 08/20/15 09:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Also....Look into some cheap or free adult education classes or meetup groups for hobbies you have.  Music, art, video games, hiking, surfing, running, swimming, philosophy, history, mountain biking, watersports, etc etc.....

There are always groups meeting up to do these things, you can find them online.  And once you join a few, you'll instantly be putting yourself around plenty of people you can talk to.  Be open and outgoing too..... It's tough to make friends when your a shy introvert. 

Have Fun


Edited by wakeINpeople (08/20/15 09:06 AM)


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InvisibleMasked
The Nutter
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 8,979
Loc: Canada Flag
Re: Im totally alone [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22115858 - 08/20/15 09:15 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I will never understand the concept of people on this board trying to convey just how long they have been without something, counting the months spent guzzling moms boob

You have not been utterly alone for "24 years" :smirk:

You have been an adult for 5 years.  Your life has just gotten started.  Trust me, you have lots of time to find yourself in a position where you are with someone and where you will dream of being alone again :grin:


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