Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]
OfflineTheMovement
faeirie princess in training
I'm a teapot


Registered: 07/30/12
Posts: 6,781
Loc: Under your bed.
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
Polyamorous Relationships
    #22075471 - 08/11/15 09:12 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

So today I want to talk about polyamory, but before we do so lets take a look at the base words.

The greek term poly means : Several, many, multiple
The word amor has Latin roots and means : love

Combine the two and you get polyamory.  The idea of having multiple loves.

It seems like a pretty simple concept to me, yet this idea is sort of taboo in our western culture.  People expect you to be monogamous.  One man one woman.  Now why is this?  Why is polyamory demonized in our culture?

If you truly love someone, why would you want to prevent them from fulfilling their desires?  Do you honesly think you yourself are capable of giving them everything they want?  I'd say that the chances of that are slim to none and by chaining yourselves together you end up creating a tension that cannot be broken.  But wait, why should their be tension between two people who "love" eachother?  If your man or lady is extremely attracted to someone and just wants to have a fling with them, what's inherently wrong with that?  Im sure your partner tells you all the time that he cares/loves/likes/ wants to be with you etc.,  He/she is not just saying that, they really do or they wouldn't need be with you in the first place.

I think the main reason monogomany is so tightly held on to is because it makes people feel insecure.  "Oh shit, if he finds a prettier women that's better in bed, he will leave me forever."  That's not necessarily true, unless you force your partner into monogamy. 

Polyamory actually gives relationships a lot more security.  By allowing your partner to fulfill certain needs outside of yourself, there is less distress and tension within your personal relationships.  Think about how many breakups there are simply due to something like lust.    Or maybe you love bowling and he doesn't, so he brings another date there.

Just like other relationships, there are barriers to overcome.  Communication is what keeps it stable.  Fears and Concerns must be addressed even if uncomfortable.  It's easy for one of your partners to feel left out if you are not spending enough time with her/him.  Polyamorous relationships fail are not a downfall of the relationship type itself, as normal relationships fail all the time.

I urge all you to think of your current perceptions of what makes a romantic relationship and what would be best for both partners.  Opening up something like this get's rid of the " I own you" tendency of monogamous relationships.  Multiple loves is possible as long as all parties are completely honest with eachother.

To put this into context, I have been poly for a few months now and while I am still working out the kinks, I see this as one of the greatest forms of relationships.

What are your opinions on this topic?  Have you ever tried it out before?  If so, did it start polyamorous or was it turned into one?  The latter don't tend to work as well from what I have seen.


--------------------
Utwiddle.net

In order to act like a king, one need only treat everyone else like one.

BUMP THIS THREAD EVERYTIME YOU SEE IT

Join the Anarchy Camp!  Down with Oppression!!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: TheMovement]
    #22075585 - 08/11/15 09:33 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

With the right combination of people with the right intentions, it can work. But I think most people just can't handle it. I myself am not sure if I could, and I don't really feel the need to at this point. My girlfriend says she definitely couldn't deal with it, so it's a moot point anyway, and I'm okay with that.

When it comes to social acceptance, I'd advocate the "mind your own business" approach. Focus on the people that matter, and take their needs and desires into account. The rest of society can make up their own minds; there's no need to convince them of anything or discuss things with them.

Btw, I've never been in a poly relationship but my gf and myself do date women together. The main objective is to have sex, but there's quite a bit of intimacy involved in it as well, so you could say it's a kind of poly 'superleggera'. We consider ourselves a monogamous couple though.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa Flag
Last seen: 5 hours, 52 minutes
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: koraks]
    #22076196 - 08/11/15 12:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I've heard of weirder things.

Nothing wrong if you love more than one person. Love is good. The more there is the better IMO.

That's until she gets jealous of the until, then the shit hits the fan


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinelillFish
Daydreamer
Female User Gallery


Registered: 01/18/09
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Recliner Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 3 hours
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Patlal]
    #22082280 - 08/12/15 04:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

omg Movement... I find all that to make perfect sense. It's not just the ability to have some other romantic interest, but it is the very idea of questioning and conquering insecurity, jealousy and fear in relationships. If my s/o found a person who could give him something he could not get from me and it would make him happy, I would allow him to pursue it giving that he respected our home and a simple, short list of rules.

I love my s/o and want him to be happy and if it makes us better off, what's the harm? I believe that if you love it, let it go and if it comes back, it's true.

I find that to make love stronger, you must let go of fear and bare all so that it can be tested ...



--------------------
My Wish & Trade list


Edited by lillFish (08/12/15 04:50 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
Loc: United States of America Flag
Last seen: 12 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: lillFish]
    #22082324 - 08/12/15 05:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Poly relationships are such bull. Its just an excuse to cheat. I would go insane with jealousy and probably just kill the girl if I was ever in a poly relationship, I couldnt handle it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22082346 - 08/12/15 05:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I think it's pretty unlikely to be able to find and be attracted to two other people who can be in healthy relationship with more than one person. I think the numbers are working against it in the US and in most other places where monogamy is the norm.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #22085050 - 08/13/15 06:36 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's pretty unlikely to be able to find and be attracted to two other people who can be in healthy relationship with more than one person. I think the numbers are working against it in the US and in most other places where monogamy is the norm.





Because monogamy is such a successful relationship style. :lol:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22085175 - 08/13/15 07:37 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
Poly relationships are such bull. Its just an excuse to cheat. I would go insane with jealousy and probably just kill the girl if I was ever in a poly relationship, I couldnt handle it.



Do you realize how this is an insecure thought loop? Poly relationships are bullshit because you couldnt handle it. What if you said you could handle it? What if you realized your vibrant masculinity and stepped up to be the man who is confident enough with his self-identity that he knows that no matter who his partner sleeps with, the connectivity and passion will never be better than what you do for her? And so what if your partner finds someone who fits her better? There is no problem because if you are secure with yourself and if you truly love her, you will be able to accept and support her happiness. There will be no problem because you are secure in yourself. You make you happy. And you know that if your partner, your soulmate, your twin flame, has found someone that fits her better, then there is someone out there that fits you better too.


--------------------


Edited by empty space (08/13/15 07:42 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
Loc: United States of America Flag
Last seen: 12 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: empty space]
    #22085557 - 08/13/15 09:47 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

asking a guy to be in a poly relationship is like asking the guy to lose his spine. its the same thing as allowing urself to be shit all over and pretending to be okay with it


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: yogabunny]
    #22086053 - 08/13/15 10:49 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's pretty unlikely to be able to find and be attracted to two other people who can be in healthy relationship with more than one person. I think the numbers are working against it in the US and in most other places where monogamy is the norm.





Because monogamy is such a successful relationship style. :lol:




Nobody said it was. People clearly suck at monogamy, but if you can't do monogamy, you probably can't do polyamory either. Polyamory is a lot more complex and it takes more skill. I think polygamy is the most common type of polyamory from a historical perspective, and it's usually been heavily influenced by things like religious tradition and other social traditions. Tradition is partly why monogamy works as well as it does. There's no real tradition for polyamory in most places, so it's a lot harder to pull off well. People need to develop their psychological skills on their own, and that is pretty overwhelming for most people.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
Loc: United States of America Flag
Last seen: 12 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #22086511 - 08/13/15 12:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

takes more skill? That is the exact opposite of what it takes. Poly takes no skill it just takes not having a back bone and takes u not caring about ANYTHING, including not caring about urself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22086566 - 08/13/15 12:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You're rage posting, shivers.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: yogabunny]
    #22086592 - 08/13/15 12:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
I think it's pretty unlikely to be able to find and be attracted to two other people who can be in healthy relationship with more than one person. I think the numbers are working against it in the US and in most other places where monogamy is the norm.





Because monogamy is such a successful relationship style. :lol:



No one is ever always happy with themselves so how can they always be happy with eachother. Monogamy is conviction to the realization that we are imperfect even though we have found a reason to hold who we love in such regard that they come above all others. Commitment to one person takes courage as much as sacrfice, but it also takes a lot of love. And personally, I don't know if I can agree with the thought of true love being something you can title to many.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22086594 - 08/13/15 12:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
takes more skill? That is the exact opposite of what it takes. Poly takes no skill it just takes not having a back bone and takes u not caring about ANYTHING, including not caring about urself.





Your posting in this thread just shows you know absolutely nothing about actual polyamory, but I actually think you're just trolling. If you're not trolling try to calm the fuck down and respect that others may have different relationship styles that you may just not be able to understand.

Many people maintain happy and successful poly relationships because that's what works for them. In fact, the poly relationships I've seen tend to be WAY more loving, WAY more affectionate and involve WAY more mature and emotionally intelligent communication than most monogamous relationships.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22086595 - 08/13/15 12:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

My best friend (who is amazing when it comes to general knowledge) was telling me recently how it used to very common in England, as little as 100 years ago, for most men to have a 'mistress' as well as a wife. Woman, being unequal at the time, just had to accept it. Then the whole equality movement got underway, and suddenly women started asking why they couldn't have that same privilege. Know what happened? Men backed down and monogamy has been the standard ever since.

Now one could ask why this is, and no doubt there may be different theories. But based on my own feelings, and having just found out that my wife was unfaithful to me, I can theorize. Men are quite territorial IME. So thinking about the fact of some other guy being in that most holy place in your wife is like some other guy jumping right into your most sacred territory. It provokes an aggressive reaction (or did in me at least, and I think this is a common reaction).

On the other hand, I think men are biologically wired to want to have multiple partners.

So the real challenge here, is can a man accept his partner doing it, as IMO, we're not biologically wired up for that to be acceptable. That's where the difficulty comes in as far as I can see, and relates to the 'confidence' empty_space mentions.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineShiVersblood
VAmPiRES HELLA ❤
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/18/07
Posts: 115,620
Loc: United States of America Flag
Last seen: 12 hours, 51 minutes
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #22086656 - 08/13/15 12:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
takes more skill? That is the exact opposite of what it takes. Poly takes no skill it just takes not having a back bone and takes u not caring about ANYTHING, including not caring about urself.





Your posting in this thread just shows you know absolutely nothing about actual polyamory, but I actually think you're just trolling. If you're not trolling try to calm the fuck down and respect that others may have different relationship styles that you may just not be able to understand.

Many people maintain happy and successful poly relationships because that's what works for them. In fact, the poly relationships I've seen tend to be WAY more loving, WAY more affectionate and involve WAY more mature and emotionally intelligent communication than most monogamous relationships.





so your one of those people who if someone does not agree with you then you just assume they are trolling?  Hey here is a reality check, not everyone is going to agree with you on everything in this life.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22086685 - 08/13/15 12:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I don't suspect you're trolling because you don't agree, I suspect you're trolling because of the hateful, aggressive, inflammatory tone behind your posts here. You're welcome to not agree. Do so with respect, or don't bother posting here.

This isn't the pub or OTD.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22086705 - 08/13/15 12:48 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
My best friend (who is amazing when it comes to general knowledge) was telling me recently how it used to very common in England, as little as 100 years ago, for most men to have a 'mistress' as well as a wife. Woman, being unequal at the time, just had to accept it. Then the whole equality movement got underway, and suddenly women started asking why they couldn't have that same privilege. Know what happened? Men backed down and monogamy has been the standard ever since.

Now one could ask why this is, and no doubt there may be different theories. But based on my own feelings, and having just found out that my wife was unfaithful to me, I can theorize. Men are quite territorial IME. So thinking about the fact of some other guy being in that most holy place in your wife is like some other guy jumping right into your most sacred territory. It provokes an aggressive reaction (or did in me at least, and I think this is a common reaction).

On the other hand, I think men are biologically wired to want to have multiple partners.

So the real challenge here, is can a man accept his partner doing it, as IMO, we're not biologically wired up for that to be acceptable. That's where the difficulty comes in as far as I can see, and relates to the 'confidence' empty_space mentions.



Why does it always have to be about sex? How I feel about my partner is more important, you should agree with that sentiment seeing as you've chosen to forgive your wife for having an affair. Sex is symbolic, and that's the part that hurt you. When you saw that she is psychologically unbalanced you found reason to forgive. That's because you knew that the relationship you cherish wasn't compromised.

Seeing it as about sex is incredibly basic. If people's foremost priority in eachother is sex then they wouldn't have a relationship in the first place.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22086912 - 08/13/15 01:06 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Because we're animals? Personally, I have a very strong animal instinct - I feel very in touch with that side of myself. I get that we're conscious beings and that's why I was able to overlook her actions and not head straight out and beat the living shit out of the guy that took advantage of her.

But say what you like, sex is incredibly important, and, to my conscious mind, sacred. Nobody said it was a foremost priority, from what I can see.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22087073 - 08/13/15 01:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

No you didn't but it was your opinion none the less. Sex is important but the point is the differing view from monogamy to polygamy is larger than a basic animal instinct for sexual gratification.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22087210 - 08/13/15 01:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I think it's a little callous for you to tell me what my opinion is.

Would you mind explaining how "the differing view from monogamy to polygamy is larger than a basic animal instinct for sexual gratification." for me please?

I fail to understand how it is more than that.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22087277 - 08/13/15 01:39 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Because the opinion of love is entirely different. I can tell you what your opinion is if you write it down. It's not my fault if you don't clarify. Don't get your panties in a bunch.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22087297 - 08/13/15 01:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You seem to forgo my politely asked question in order to be passive aggressive. My opinions are dynamic, and not fixed. If you feel I'm missing the point, then please help me to understand why.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #22087319 - 08/13/15 01:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I didn't miss anything, you just chose to not read it. No point in saying it again.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinelillFish
Daydreamer
Female User Gallery


Registered: 01/18/09
Posts: 1,347
Loc: Recliner Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 3 hours
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #22087828 - 08/13/15 03:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Being polyamourous wouldn't be something I'd use just to sleep with other people. love happens and sometimes it's so amazing and deep that you know you'd be kicking yourself forever if you never explored it. Life is too short to deny an amazing, once in a lifetime connection with someone. Just my opinion.


--------------------
My Wish & Trade list


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWAN
Stranger
Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 1,895
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: lillFish]
    #22088185 - 08/13/15 04:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

lillFish said:
Being polyamourous wouldn't be something I'd use just to sleep with other people. love happens and sometimes it's so amazing and deep that you know you'd be kicking yourself forever if you never explored it. Life is too short to deny an amazing, once in a lifetime connection with someone. Just my opinion.



true, but you could just tell your current partner that you found someone and that you want to break off the relationship with her (the current partner)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: lillFish]
    #22088332 - 08/13/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

lillFish said:
Being polyamourous wouldn't be something I'd use just to sleep with other people. love happens and sometimes it's so amazing and deep that you know you'd be kicking yourself forever if you never explored it. Life is too short to deny an amazing, once in a lifetime connection with someone. Just my opinion.




If true love is a 'once in a lifetime connection' (which, IME/IMO, it is), then how can you share it with many?

There's various levels of love for others of course, and before I experienced 'true love' I would perhaps be more open to the fact one could share 'love' with many.

As with anything, it's a highly individual state. I think 'true love' is just too overwhelming to allow for polyamory. But 'love' in and of itself, could well allow for this, provided the conditions mentioned in the OP like excellent communication, trust and boundaries exist.

I love lots and lots of people, but I've only ever had one true love.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22088373 - 08/13/15 05:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
asking a guy to be in a poly relationship is like asking the guy to lose his spine. its the same thing as allowing urself to be shit all over and pretending to be okay with it



You only say this because you have no game :rofl:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWAN
Stranger
Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 1,895
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: empty space]
    #22088382 - 08/13/15 05:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I have a practical concern/question:  For women who are involved in a "poly" type of arrangement, which means she is sleeping with more than one guy.  If she gets pregnant, she/they will have to get DNA testing to see who's the father of the child, won't they?  Seems to me it's a (somewhat) undesirable thing.

and who's going to raise the child?


Edited by WAN (08/13/15 05:52 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: WAN]
    #22088666 - 08/13/15 07:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I think a lot of you are confusing polyamory with swinging. It's not a free for all. Most polyamoryous people I have seen are SO mindful and careful of how, when and who they engage with sexually. Many many non-monogamous relationships are 3 or more people who consider themselves committed and don't have any other relationships outside their group.

Something like this appeals to me because I'm bisexual and think it makes waaaay more sense to raise children with a group/tribe as opposed to just two people.

:shrug:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: yogabunny]
    #22088743 - 08/13/15 07:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I wish I could find other people to try it with. If done well it could have huge benefits for raising kids, much like an extended family household.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWAN
Stranger
Registered: 10/20/14
Posts: 1,895
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: yogabunny]
    #22088753 - 08/13/15 07:32 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
I think a lot of you are confusing polyamory with swinging. It's not a free for all. Most polyamoryous people I have seen are SO mindful and careful of how, when and who they engage with sexually. Many many non-monogamous relationships are 3 or more people who consider themselves committed and don't have any other relationships outside their group.

Something like this appeals to me because I'm bisexual and think it makes waaaay more sense to raise children with a group/tribe as opposed to just two people.

:shrug:


^I am afraid that that is too avant-garde for me.


Edited by WAN (08/13/15 07:32 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAlkaloids
3,4,5-trimethoxyphenethylamine
Male


Registered: 11/15/98
Posts: 743
Loc: pubis mons
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: WAN] * 1
    #22089765 - 08/14/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

It is condescending to assume that people who are polyamorous do not understand "true love".    And also funny in how far off the mark it is.

  Love does not have particular definitions.  It varies in context and concept from person to person and situation to situation.  My love for my mother is unique and can not be replaced with any other person.  So it is with anyone that i care for. 

A person whom i think is worthwhile simply can not be replaced.  I could talk to 1000 people about the same topics, but each conversation would be unique.  Some more unusual or strange than others and some people would harmonize more readily with me. 

Each loving relationship is unique and important for its' own attributes.  If a person only evaluates love in terms of certain characteristics, then it becomes meaningless.

True monogamy means having only one partner for life.  Not too many people live out that particular scenario.  If ever a person has used the term "i love you" for more than one person, then they are not, and can not be, monogamous. 

Serial monogamy is like trading up for a better car.  Sure whatever car you have now is the best, but then something else comes along and you trade up since you can only have one car at a time.  Then that car becomes the best. 

With polyamory you are not forced into artificial and unnecessary dichotomies of good and bad.  Communication, trust, love, respect, compassion.  Those are the lynchpins of any good relationship, but in polyamory the strong need to lie is removed.  No need for it.

If you can tell your partner(s) in a straightforward fashion that you are attracted to and like someone else, then all need for subterfuge is removed.  If you are comfortable with yourself then jealousy and envy are much easier to deal with.  Getting rid of personal insecurities also makes it easier to form true loving relationships with people without all that baggage that many people think is necessary.


Tribal child rearing is a sound and practical strategy. 

FYI  monogamy as we know it is not practiced in most cultures in the world.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: WAN] * 1
    #22090320 - 08/14/15 08:15 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I can understand how Polyamory is too future for some. :tongue2:


Quote:

True monogamy means having only one partner for life.  Not too many people live out that particular scenario.




Qft!

Most of the couples I know who got married in our early-mid 20's are divorced now, and as a result of cheating.

Also, I encourage everyone to really take some time to think about why you might be immediately discounting poly as avant-garde, weird, or disgusting. Where does your notion of a "traditional" relationship come from? Is that something that is innate? Or, perhaps, is it a program that was installed by your parents, television and pop-culture at large?

Food for thought.


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22090771 - 08/14/15 11:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
takes more skill? That is the exact opposite of what it takes. Poly takes no skill it just takes not having a back bone and takes u not caring about ANYTHING, including not caring about urself.




I know a chick that has 3 kids with two different guys and it's because at one time they were both down with it.

Not even making that. Disgusting bitch. A girl friend of mine one time almost beat the ever living shit out of her but that's a different story all together. This girl pulled the polyamorous crap one 6 sets of 2 dudes and they were all dumb enough to agree with it. I can only imagine what diseases she has caught. Sucks to be her.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: ShiVersblood]
    #22105259 - 08/18/15 03:07 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
Poly relationships are such bull. Its just an excuse to cheat. I would go insane with jealousy and probably just kill the girl if I was ever in a poly relationship, I couldnt handle it.



Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
asking a guy to be in a poly relationship is like asking the guy to lose his spine. its the same thing as allowing urself to be shit all over and pretending to be okay with it



Quote:

Stealth1Vampire said:
takes more skill? That is the exact opposite of what it takes. Poly takes no skill it just takes not having a back bone and takes u not caring about ANYTHING, including not caring about urself.



Thanks for the 0 shroom rating because I said you had no game. If you had game you would just brush your shoulder off. Soooooo thanks for proving me right!

:rofl2:


Edited by empty space (08/18/15 03:12 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: empty space]
    #22105277 - 08/18/15 03:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Maybe you just got a 0 Shroom rating for being so closed-minded? :wink:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: koraks]
    #22105300 - 08/18/15 03:35 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:itwasgoodforme:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: empty space]
    #22105323 - 08/18/15 03:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Haha :wink: don't let it get to you man. Neither of you. Different strokes for different folks.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMr.GuessWork
Stranger
 User Gallery
Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 4,563
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: koraks]
    #22105659 - 08/18/15 07:44 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Stealth gave me 0 shrooms too and told me I didn't respect myself enough to be in a poly-relationship, which was entertaining criticism. The rating isn't weighted very heavily though, so I'm guessing stealth is pretty liberal with the 0 shrooms stinginess. You're supposed to share the shrooms, stealth.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleyogabunnyM
fancy cat
Female User Gallery


Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
Re: Polyamorous Relationships [Re: Mr.GuessWork]
    #22105888 - 08/18/15 09:20 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Mr.GuessWork said:
Stealth gave me 0 shrooms too and told me I didn't respect myself enough to be in a poly-relationship, which was entertaining criticism. The rating isn't weighted very heavily though, so I'm guessing stealth is pretty liberal with the 0 shrooms stinginess. You're supposed to share the shrooms, stealth.





I also got a zero shroom rating for suggesting he was trolling. :lol:


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3  [ show all ]

Shop: Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Is anyone Polyamorous here?
( 1 2 3 all )
MOTH 1,518 55 08/16/13 02:32 AM
by Anonymous
* Any shroomerites in an open or polyamorous relationship? Anonymous 432 17 05/14/14 09:37 AM
by backyardblues
* Hard question about cheating ~ it's a weird one IMO Anonymous 358 13 08/26/15 12:32 PM
by RoyalSlurm
* Thoughts on polyamory?
( 1 2 all )
technotree 661 34 12/04/15 06:25 PM
by jahrastafareye
* Just Found out my friends cheat on their girlfriends and wives
( 1 2 3 4 5 6 all )
Anonymous 1,868 107 11/19/13 02:01 AM
by Crystal G
* Your ONE requirement for when you start seeing someone
( 1 2 3 4 5 all )
shallowbastard 2,405 80 09/27/12 04:53 PM
by yogabunny
* poly people? timsmith777 365 6 04/30/12 12:09 AM
by Crystal G
* Freedom in relationships
( 1 2 all )
HeartAndMind 459 34 08/23/14 12:14 AM
by Mr. Material

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs
558 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 0 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.039 seconds spending 0.006 seconds on 13 queries.