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anangaranga maiden
Stranger
Registered: 08/10/15
Posts: 178
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Hi
a lot of people saying i should go out and shag some guy....no thanks.
I hope to meet a guy who views sex in the same way as me, virgin or no. i absolutely aint gonna just throw my virginity away, ive guarded it for so long even with guy who i was in love wiyth. i regret not doing it with my last boyfrind but perhaps the next will be different. but im not in a rush...
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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you do not love them. That is why it feels wrong. Because it is.
ideally you shouldnt have sex with someone you don't love. It is so much better when you care about a person and you're not just doing it to please them, or for excercise, or for the sake of just getting off. Wait till you truly love someone and that person loves you. Then it will be right
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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I think you're taking the advice you've received in quite the wrong way. From what I can see, only one person even suggested that "you might even be better off to just go screw some random stranger".
It seems to me you've responded quite defensively when all anyone here has tried to do is help.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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I think you missed the beginning of the thread sprinkles:
Quote:
anangaranga maiden said: I just panic at that last moment and think NO! its not fully right... but i was so in love with my alst boyfried and after 12 months of not consumating he just got too frustrated and ended it. I dont blame him becuase if he wasnt the right one then no one was.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#22084247 - 08/13/15 12:53 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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i thought some of the replies (from males who are probably underage) were stupid and they shouldnt give advice but instead just shut the fuck up. That would help more.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
#22084253 - 08/13/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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he obviously didnt love her if he left because she wasnt putting out.
and she didnt feel he was the right one or she would have been comforable enough to be intimate with him. besides, the womans intuition just knows stuff.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: sprinkles] 1
#22084254 - 08/13/15 12:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Wow. I see nothing of the sort. Clearly you've already shown that you haven't read the thread in detail, so it doesn't seem justified to me for you to say that, or indeed to even speak so judgementally of others.
Why is this such a touchy subject? It's life for fucks sake!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: sprinkles] 1
#22084263 - 08/13/15 12:58 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: he obviously didnt love her if he left because she wasnt putting out.
and she didnt feel he was the right one or she would have been comforable enough to be intimate with him. besides, the womans intuition just knows stuff.
After a year? Are you kidding? I wouldn't wait a month, I think the guy was a fucking saint to wait a year!!
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 16 days
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: Jokeshopbeard] 1
#22084301 - 08/13/15 01:06 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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a year isnt that long. I would wait as long as i needed to till they were ready if I LOVED someone. for example, say Im 20 and in love with a 16 year old. I would wait till that girl was 18 (even if 16 was the legal age of consent). No problem.
Anyway, she only thinks the way she does about him because he left. If he were still around she wouldnt want him. Its human nature to want what we cant have, or whats emotionally unavailable at the time.
anyway girlfriend, if you're not just trolling or a puppet dont worry. Someone will come along, as soon as you stop looking. So focus on yourself, and what you want for yourself and building a future. Then a man can compliment your already complete life and you wont have to depend on him to meet any of your needs because you will be content with yourself.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: sprinkles]
#22086199 - 08/13/15 11:09 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
sprinkles said: he obviously didnt love her if he left because she wasnt putting out.
and she didnt feel he was the right one or she would have been comforable enough to be intimate with him. besides, the womans intuition just knows stuff.
After a year? Are you kidding? I wouldn't wait a month, I think the guy was a fucking saint to wait a year!!
Quote:
sprinkles said: a year isnt that long. I would wait as long as i needed to till they were ready if I LOVED someone. for example, say Im 20 and in love with a 16 year old. I would wait till that girl was 18 (even if 16 was the legal age of consent). No problem.
Anyway, she only thinks the way she does about him because he left. If he were still around she wouldnt want him. Its human nature to want what we cant have, or whats emotionally unavailable at the time.
anyway girlfriend, if you're not just trolling or a puppet dont worry. Someone will come along, as soon as you stop looking. So focus on yourself, and what you want for yourself and building a future. Then a man can compliment your already complete life and you wont have to depend on him to meet any of your needs because you will be content with yourself.
Okay so, Jsb is right here. We have the woman's perspective below. Above, we have the man's. sprinkles, do you have any idea how long one year is for a guy to wait? He must have loved the hell out of her!! That's an eternity. You have to consider the male perspective here. Like Jsb said, most guys would have left after 4-6 weeks. For men at that age, pussy is the most important thing. That's just the way it is. My jaw dropped when I read that guy stuck around a year. He loved her, trust me. I find it somewhat offensive that she 'wasn't ready' for a guy who was that clearly devoted to her. But sprinkles is right that she wants what she can't have. If she could do it over again, I'd bet she would be just as stubborn. Oh, well.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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yeah


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
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I'm in her situation but am a dude
Think I'm gonna become a wizard, bros
No social circle, extremely picky about looks (I'm pretty fit and decent looking so don't get started on me about that), don't drink at all and if I ever have any motives when around girls I become awkward as fuck. If I'm in a guileless place then obviously I don't feel like pursuing... shitty paradox
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Edited by yeah (08/14/15 05:56 PM)
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Wow..OP is very lucky her boyfriend stayed with her for 12 months of no sex. I would have been gone after 1 month.
OP..i suggest online dating. Online you find virgins. Other than that, its going to be hard to find a virgin who is male, your age, and perfect for you.
I would totally re-evaluate why you want to follow in your parents footsteps. You are your own person. Why do you need to be like them? Just because they lost their virginities together doesn't mean you should. This is a very different time in the world, and its very uncommon in the year 2015 to be 21+ and be a virgin.
Sex isn't as a big deal as you make it out to be. It really isn't. What even defines sex? You should answer that question before anything.
Maybe you can have sex with 5 guys at once so you can lose your virginity 5 times at once.
Kidding.
Just go ahead and fuck. Then when you find the right guy, you will know how to please him.
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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pachoo
Witchakookoo



Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#22093248 - 08/15/15 01:10 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I don't know. I definitely felt the need to put out multiple times but I didn't because something didn't feel right. Then the guys left, then I felt bad and blamed myself. I've been with my man for 9 years today and he was my first, although he wasn't a virgin. I was 18 tho.
It is a deep connection to someone, and when that moment comes, you'll put out. End of story. I lasted a little under a month with my virginity because I knew it was right. It was great and ideal. I wanted to share an experience with someone I truly loved and cared for and I did.
I've thought I loved boys before, but I think I was mistaken. When I finally 'deflowered' myself I knew right away that was what I was waiting for.
I don't know. It sounds oddly faerie-tale cliche now but I'm glad I waited.
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yeah


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 3,729
Last seen: 1 month, 21 days
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Re: Why does sexual love feel wrong? [Re: pachoo]
#22093965 - 08/15/15 08:18 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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And here I am with no fucks left messaging girls on OkCupid with "will lick butt if u go out on date with me pls"
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resonant111
left ∞ right

Registered: 03/02/11
Posts: 1,952
Loc: IL
Last seen: 2 years, 1 month
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i went through a bit of a "spiritual sexuality" stage myself and it honestly did alot more harm than good. when you start to divide sex into "pure" and "debased" it sets the stage for all kinds of perverse delusions and repressions of the sexual instinct.
in reality, there is no "right" or "wrong" way to express sexuality. at the base level, it's just a natural instinct, like eating and going to the bathroom. yes, it can be refined to very deep levels of love and connection with another person but that's simply ONE aspect of it. To only accept that single expression of sexuality is quite limiting and bound to lead to repression.
in reality, sex can be expressed any way we imagine (within legal limits of course ). pure and debased are just labels that confuse.
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