Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds

Jump to first unread post Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Next >
InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: OrgoneConclusion]
    #23406270 - 07/03/16 07:57 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Not having the one you want is part of the fundamental dissatisfaction with life (Dukha/Suffering) - the first noble truth .

The only way to become ultimately liberated from this suffering is through the noble eightfold path- specifically right meditation.

I am sorry you are in pain.

I hope you will choose to find refuge in the Dharma.

I have often thought that if my wife ever leaves me or dies, I will immerse myself fully in a monastic or hermetic spiritual path.


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Moonshoe]
    #23406549 - 07/03/16 10:08 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Moonshoe said:
I have often thought that if my wife ever leaves me or dies, I will immerse myself fully in a monastic or hermetic spiritual path.



Pretty much exactly what I'm doing.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePenelope_Tree
Shamanic Panic
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 8,535
Loc: magic sugarcastle
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: OrgoneConclusion] * 3
    #23407608 - 07/03/16 04:03 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

OrgoneConclusion said:
Well, I have come to end of a very strange, year-long chapter in my life.

I am leaving tomorrow for California to visit my best friend who lives near my alleged Twin Flame whom I met once one year ago.

Against my better judgement, I called her hoping to see her once more. No dice. She is in a relationship and probably would not see me even if she was not.

I would not wish this journey on my worst enemy. I am not afraid of hell for I have lived there.

To add another lame cliché, I would gladly have given my life for this near-total stranger.

I have no takeaway knowledge from this experience. None. No great spiritual truths, no amazing mystical insights. I will probably crawl back into my shell for the rest of my days. The excruciating pain and vulnerability is definitely not worth it.

Summation: I most likely had a severe emotional breakdown that caused me to fixate to The Maximum.

Back to being the anti-spiritual, cynical, doubting OC that you all love/hate. :heart:





OC, I did not realize you had posted your experience here. I know you have told me a little of what has gone on regarding your experience with this woman. I think it is (or let's say CAN BE) healing to share your experience, especially when it concerns great loss.

For what it's worth, I'll input my 2 cents.

So you have been reading books on non-attachment and seeking out truth/meaning to hopefully form a sort of meta-narrative around your story and alleviate the pain you are enduring. That is good and I commend you for seeking self-knowledge (I'm not surprised - you're a smart guy). I see you have tried to reconnect with her and I am deeply sorry that it didn't end with reciprocation. I think your next steps are forward in pursuit of yourself, not another.

I don't know what you need or what your path is - that is for you to decide. Regardless, as a student and servant of the universe (you'll get a kick out of that saying, I'm sure - ha) and intermittent-practicing Buddhist, there is something I wish to share.

If you are seeking truth, do not retreat when it breaks down your walls. You say you have come away with nothing, and yet you have had the richest and most intense experience of your life, painful as it may be. That is not to laud suffering or poise it as desirable. I say that to hint there may be more of the energy to receive if you are willing to let it polish you. But what do I know.

It is commendable that you are working to further your own physical health - FWIW, I highly believe there is much good in seeking that, as long as is it for yourself and not for the acceptance of another. I consider you a friend who has given me sagely advice in my time of distress, and I am only reaching out to you in hopes that you may find your way and come out on the other side of this with the sense of humour we all know an love/hate. (haha, jk). I hope it can further your pursuit of whatever it is you are seeking - not just in another human being, but in yourself.

I will end with a story from the American Lama Surya Das' book, "Letting go of the person you used to be" - I will gladly send my copy to you if you are interested in reading it.

Quote:

"Don't we all have bittersweet and haunting memories of those we have loved and lost? In my case, the lost love of my youth was a Scottish woman named Suil. ... We were both seeking wisdom, truth, and enlightenment. ... Suil and I had heard of a Korean Zen master named Nine Mountains, who greatly interested us. ...[W]e traveled to Korea and stayed at his monastery. Meeting this great master especially moved Suil. [She] decided to undertake a long meditation retreat with her Zen master. Suil returned at the end of the summer, only a few weeks before we were supposed to leave to go back to India. She had a shaved head and was wearing the gray robe of a Zen Buddhist nun. Ouch!

Suil told me her "great news": she had become a Zen nun and was going back to Korea, but she said that I shouldn't let that stop me from returning to Kalu Rinpoche in Nepal. What a shock! I had considered Suil my sati, my spiritual partner, my soul mate. ... What did I know about life and its comings and goingsm uts gatherings and separations, and its plans and disappointments. As a Buddhist wise guy, recently deceased, said, "Sometimes life works best with no appointments, and hence no disappointments." But I guess I was counting on our joint plans, and I was heartbroken.

We made our choices as thought they were foreordained. As I reflect in retrospect, it was as if we didn't even know we had a choice. Do I have any regrets? I don't think so. But I have to wonder about those turning points and how different life would have been if either of us had made different choices. For years my mother continued to ask me if I was still "carrying a candle" for Suil. Perhaps I was.

Ultimately, Suil and I found out that we were not meant to share the householders' life together. As Ram Dass said to me many years ago, "You two are together in the stars, but not in this world, in this life." ... [Suil and I's] relationship for me brought up many issues concerning the trials of holding on and letting go. I learned how to let go of what is not meant to be. I learned how to hold on tight when you can, and to let go light when you must. Sometimes you have to keep the love in your heart, but let the object of your affection go. This is something I had to learn about the hard way, as is so often the case."




I do not share this to lesson* what you are experiencing. I share this because it brought me comfort in a time of grief and loss, and I hope it may bring some to you, too.


*typo left intact for synchronous reasons


--------------------
full blown human


Edited by Penelope_Tree (07/03/16 04:19 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Penelope_Tree]
    #23407648 - 07/03/16 04:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I was off the shroomery, working too many hours, while this sensitive and unexpected exposure occurred, and while icelander isolated himself and his neuropathic journey of pain.

The thread is long, but it seems that orgy's lovelife had unexpectedly gone from great to terrible, and he has turned to this forum for support.

The community responded. it is the kind of thing that raises the hair on the back of my neck.  I am happy Penelope summarized it with her amazing gift of spelling.

I expect things are at a new normal.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Penelope_Tree]
    #23407813 - 07/03/16 05:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Penelope_Tree said:
*typo left intact for synchronous reasons



Ha! I leave these in too (with a little note).

I gotta say, that's an amazing post P_T. I feel you get right to the heart of all this in what you said.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: redgreenvines] * 2
    #23408077 - 07/03/16 06:55 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
I was off the shroomery seems that orgy's lovelife had unexpectedly gone from great to terrible, and he has turned to this forum for support.

The community responded. it is the kind of thing that raises the hair on the back of my neck.  I am happy Penelope summarized it with her amazing gift of spelling.

:feelsgoodman:

I expect things are at a new normal.




OK sorry to disappoint, but this is in fact a debate forum and not Koombaya.
           
We are in fact not getting anywhere.

Why is it "unexpected" that OC's love life efforts at tapping into this young woman he just met, didn't work out? 

Be Honest, please.

Others, since I expect to just get more BS, please comment.

TIA.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedeff
just love everyone
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 17 minutes
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: OrgoneConclusion] * 1
    #23408118 - 07/03/16 07:07 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

best of luck OC - and don't forget a healthy dose of self-love and humour (if you can) :smile:


--------------------



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: deff] * 1
    #23408131 - 07/03/16 07:11 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

deff said:
best of luck OC - and don't forget a healthy dose of self-love and humour (if you can) :smile:




yeah, jack off a lot while smiling.  Come if you can.

on a side note, one of OC's "better jokes" was the one about "saving it up"

i won't spoil it, he told it better.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23408144 - 07/03/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Oh man, LE, way to put a downer on the thread brother. Like, I *just* managed to get that perfect balance between the weed and the beer tonight where, you know, you're feeling *just* right? Got the euphoria going. Last bottle just poured before bed, feeling good.

And then I come in here and see you shitting all over this thread you bastard!! I mean seriously, is that really necessary in any way? Fuck man, people keep saying the forum should be 'this' or 'that' thread doesn't belong here, but fuck me man we're all people. I'm probably the last person that should be saying this, being a mod an all, but this little electronic shit wouldn't be here without us cooperating with and encouraging others. Shitting on them just makes them feel bad. Which ain't exactly what you need when you already feel bad...


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23408151 - 07/03/16 07:21 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Not all of us need to take the feminine approach when responding to OC. If LunarEclipse and I want to take a masculine approach then that should also be okay.


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: viktor] * 7
    #23408199 - 07/03/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I don't buy that. That fits your argument too well to be in any way realistic. You know damn well life is not that black n white. It is not as simple as compassion = feminine, lack of compassion = masculine, and you know damn well that it aint.

I'll agree to disagree if you want, but I'll debate this one out with you for as long as you want.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinesprinkles
otd president
Other User Gallery

Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23409063 - 07/04/16 12:49 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

it should be that way.  I love men for their logical mind, not their emotional garbage.  that's my role, stop stealing my joy.


RUINER


--------------------
welcome to my world http://www.shroomery.org/forums/postlist.php/Board/326


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: sprinkles]
    #23409271 - 07/04/16 04:13 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Still it raises the hair on the back of my neck
more than the shock of Swami changing to Orgy, and
S&P turning into Monty Python's Flying Circus Argument Clinic.

Anyone seen Diploid?
Obviously the new normal is not much different than the old except for ear length and the missing.


--------------------
:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23409280 - 07/04/16 04:20 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

I'm really curious as to quite which emotion you refer to with the 'hairs on your neck' analogy RGV? Second time you said it and I can't quite follow.

FYI - Diploid passed away some time ago. One of the older mods/members might have more, but PM me if you want me to do a little digging. Although you'll prob find info by search here or in the veterans forum.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23409463 - 07/04/16 07:05 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
I'll agree to disagree if you want, but I'll debate this one out with you for as long as you want.




No thanks. It seems to me like you're spoiling for a fight (perhaps a consequence of drinking booze) and the only way that can end is me getting banned.

Excuse me if I give it a miss.


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: viktor]
    #23409491 - 07/04/16 07:20 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Oh come off man, do I really strike you as the kind of person that would abuse my position just cause I lost an argument? There's no way you can catch a ban if you stay within the rules.

Last time I checked, debate was encouraged here.

I'm sober right now (just eating a 'blue' steak and potatoes in fact) so by all means, please explain how the black and white opinion you shared has any legs to stand on.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23409523 - 07/04/16 07:37 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Oh come off man, do I really strike you as the kind of person that would abuse my position just cause I lost an argument? There's no way you can catch a ban if you stay within the rules.

Last time I checked, debate was encouraged here.

I'm sober right now (just eating a 'blue' steak and potatoes in fact) so by all means, please explain how the black and white opinion you shared has any legs to stand on.




I think you're looking for an excuse to ban me (otherwise you would not have given me a two-shroom rating). So, as I wrote above, please excuse me if I don't take up your offer of a shitfight.


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisibleliquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: viktor]
    #23409529 - 07/04/16 07:39 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Don't obey AAuthority.


--------------------
As far as I assume to know...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineviktor
psychotechnician
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: liquidlounge]
    #23409544 - 07/04/16 07:49 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!


--------------------
"They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: viktor] * 1
    #23409678 - 07/04/16 09:00 AM (7 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

viktor said:
I think you're looking for an excuse to ban me (otherwise you would not have given me a two-shroom rating). So, as I wrote above, please excuse me if I don't take up your offer of a shitfight.



No sweat man. I'd still like to explore it with you, none the less. Perhaps another time. I do really enjoy reading most of what you say; the only reason I put your rating low is because I think you can behave in quite a disrespectful manner to some people here. Grates against my team spirit. Say whatever you like to me though; seriously man - you have my word I will not ban you for a single utterance against myself.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: < Back | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | Next >

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder, Maeng Da Thai Kratom Leaf Powder   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale, Red Vein Kratom   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds, Bulk Cannabis Seeds


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* The Answer to the Psychedelic Existential Crisis Divided_Sky 1,089 5 10/24/05 01:47 PM
by Revelation
* Existentialism, Philosophy, and Religion Just Crutches for the Weak?
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Huehuecoyotl 5,841 62 11/29/04 02:09 PM
by Huehuecoyotl
* The Word Existential appleorange 1,337 6 02/06/08 08:08 PM
by nolongerinuse
* Do you think God experiences existential anxiety?
( 1 2 all )
jonathanseagull 3,804 25 04/02/07 08:26 PM
by Icelander
* does existentialism support relativism or absolutism?
( 1 2 all )
Malachi 22,762 28 07/02/03 02:43 PM
by Malachi
* Life on Mars / the Phoenix Lander nubious 1,029 18 05/28/08 01:07 AM
by makaveli8x8
* Theists and their understanding of Existentialism
( 1 2 3 all )
Sclorch 6,143 45 10/28/02 10:56 AM
by Anonymous
* Crisis and growth Lion 914 4 12/18/06 11:31 AM
by dblaney

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, DividedQuantum
21,394 topic views. 0 members, 2 guests and 2 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.035 seconds spending 0.008 seconds on 15 queries.