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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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This is an old Ann Landers column that I used to share with the adolescents I counseled for almost 30 years:
Is It Love or Infatuation?
Infatuation is instant desire-one set of glands calling to another.
Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.
Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you-to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him near. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait.
Infatuation says, ``We must get married right away. I can`t risk losing him.`` Love says, ``Be patient. He is yours. Plan your future withconfidence.``
Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are in one another`s company, you are hoping it will end in intimacy. Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.
Infatuation lacks confidence. When he`s away, you wonder if he`s cheating. Sometimes you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you`ll regret later, but love never will.
Love lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Now that, Markos, is one of the most accurate representations of the phenomenon I have ever seen. Beautiful in it's simplicity.
Thank you for sharing. That was truly wonderful and heartwarming to read.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said: Now that, Markos, is one of the most accurate representations of the phenomenon I have ever seen. Beautiful in it's simplicity.
Thank you for sharing. That was truly wonderful and heartwarming to read.
You're welcome, but we can both thank the late Ann Landers whose column I read from childhood to adulthood. Her sister was the late Abigail van Buren or 'Dear Abby,' whose daughter has now assumed her late mother's mantle.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery


Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Ann Landers was always somewhere in my life. 
That is one of her better ones. Romantic "love" is the cause of more misery than religion even. Some never get over it but in those early years until retirement it's the dream that gets us up in the morning to put up with all the shit we take from real life.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Icelander]
#23067988 - 03/31/16 04:39 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee!
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Icelander]
#23067992 - 03/31/16 04:40 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Ann Landers was always somewhere in my life. 
I had the full-length, fold-out poster.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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I had the farrah fawcett poster.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee! 
When are you seeing her?
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Sun King]
#23068050 - 03/31/16 04:58 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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What do you call a college student taking courses in ancient Egyptian plumbing?
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Sun King]
#23068053 - 03/31/16 04:59 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sun King said:
Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee! 
When are you seeing her?
End of May. Are you coming to the wedding reception next year?
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Pharaoh Fawcett Major
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Quote:
Sun King said:
Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee! 
When are you seeing her?
End of May. Are you coming to the wedding reception next year?
Sure and I will bring the girl from the office as my +1.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee! 
I went to a taco bar at the club house tonight. I did some soul-searching and admitted the only reason I was going was because she would be there. What are you going to do?
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Sun King]
#23068075 - 03/31/16 05:06 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sun King said: Pharaoh Fawcett Major
Faucet...
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Re: My Existential Crisis [Re: Sun King]
#23068095 - 03/31/16 05:09 PM (7 years, 9 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sun King said:
Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said: When I would do some catch and release fishing, sometimes I would catch the same fish twice and wonder why they never learned.
Here I go falling for the same dream all over again. Whee! 
I went to a taco bar at the club house tonight. I did some soul-searching and admitted the only reason I was going was because she would be there. What are you going to do?
Actually, after all of the heavy stuff I laid on both of us this last year, my plan is to just have some laughs and some fun and downplay the cosmic romance angle.
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 2 days
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Quote:
OrgoneConclusion said:
Quote:
Sun King said: Pharaoh Fawcett Major
Faucet... 
Use lube.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,414
Loc: Under the C
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Well, I have come to end of a very strange, year-long chapter in my life.
I am leaving tomorrow for California to visit my best friend who lives near my alleged Twin Flame whom I met once one year ago.
Against my better judgement, I called her hoping to see her once more. No dice. She is in a relationship and probably would not see me even if she was not.
I would not wish this journey on my worst enemy. I am not afraid of hell for I have lived there.
To add another lame cliché, I would gladly have given my life for this near-total stranger.
I have no takeaway knowledge from this experience. None. No great spiritual truths, no amazing mystical insights. I will probably crawl back into my shell for the rest of my days. The excruciating pain and vulnerability is definitely not worth it.
Summation: I most likely had a severe emotional breakdown that caused me to fixate to The Maximum.
Back to being the anti-spiritual, cynical, doubting OC that you all love/hate.
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Edited by OrgoneConclusion (06/29/16 11:18 PM)
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viktor
psychotechnician



Registered: 11/03/10
Posts: 4,293
Loc: New Zealand
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Just grow up instead.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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Sun King



Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
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Is this guy going to be introducing you to any women?
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