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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? 1
#22060081 - 08/07/15 06:58 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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So I'm at the bar, getting shitface-drunk, and whenever I get drunk at bars I always tell people some fake sob story about my life, don't ask me why…
So I'm talking to this 21 year old Nigerian guy, pretty attractive guy, and I start complaining to him about all my fake life problems. I start telling him that I'm married with 5 children, and that I love my kids but I hate my husband because he's a cheating asshole who loves fucking prostitutes. And I start complaining about how we haven't even had sex in 2 years and he's fat and gross and we are only together cause of the kids, all this bullshit and not a fucking word of it is true LOL (This is my favorite lie to tell at a bar or club because for some reason guys are extremely attracted to women in these types of desperate situations, it's weird but they do).
All of a sudden, this guy responds, "I'm an escort." LOL WUT?!??!!!?!!?? 
So NOW I have a shitload of questions that I HAVE to ask him. (You guys know me, I'm the professional BBC hunter )
I start asking him all sorts of shit like, "How much would you charge me?" "Do you do sex or oral with women on their periods? Like have you earned your red wings yet?" "So I guess this means you have a BBC and you know how to use it," "Are you down with PnP?" (PnP is code word for "party and play" on Craigslist and Backpage, and for those of you who don't know what PnP is, you should look it up on UrbanDictionary.) These are very important questions, you know!!!
He responds, "For you, I'd only charge $100 for 3 hours (which is CHEAP AS FUCK LOL like WTF). I do sex and oral with women on their periods with proper protection. I don't do PnP but I don't mind if you do."
What should I do? What would happen if I met this guy? Is this guy going to rob me? Am I going to end up with AIDS?
You know what, I'm going to turn this into a poll. Guess what will happen if I meet this escort in a hotel room by myself.
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Adolin




Registered: 06/28/11
Posts: 8,292
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G] 7
#22060106 - 08/07/15 07:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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he will rape and rob you on top of giving you aids. but knowing you, you'd be having a good time while it happens.
so, all 4 answers
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rackem



Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G] 3
#22060108 - 08/07/15 07:01 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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next time i hear some cheesey chick sobbing about not getting laid i am going to play out the scenario just like this guy..
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G] 2
#22060111 - 08/07/15 07:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
So I'm at the bar, getting shitface-drunk, and whenever I get drunk at bars I always tell people some fake sob story about my life, don't ask me why…
You'd always tell us the truth though, right?
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Adolin]
#22060112 - 08/07/15 07:02 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Gresh said: he will rape and rob you on top of giving you aids. but knowing you, you'd be having a good time while it happens.
so, all 4 answers
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: psi]
#22060117 - 08/07/15 07:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said:
Quote:
So I'm at the bar, getting shitface-drunk, and whenever I get drunk at bars I always tell people some fake sob story about my life, don't ask me why…
You'd always tell us the truth though, right?

Yeah, the internet, ironically, is the one place I come to to spill all my real life's secrets. I post shit on here that even a lot of my closest friends DO NOT KNOW ABOUT, and CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT.
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Hippocampus



Registered: 04/01/15
Posts: 753
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G]
#22060123 - 08/07/15 07:05 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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If he's a professional escort he shouldn't have a problem producing a negative HIV test
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LuSiD enthusiast
Stranger

Registered: 03/14/13
Posts: 4,325
Last seen: 4 years, 9 months
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Hippocampus]
#22060135 - 08/07/15 07:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have a feeling nothing you told him was a lie, and you were just desperate and got lucky and this is your way of telling us.
-------------------- I'm addicted to coke, weed, booze, ludes and speed. Not LSD, you can't get addicted to LSD, it was built by scientists. I ain't got no demons that gonna get woke. In erowid we trust. Just take your damn pills and don't ask any questions, you'll be fine.
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imachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw



Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 31,375
Loc: You get banned for saying that
Last seen: 46 minutes, 46 seconds
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G]
#22060139 - 08/07/15 07:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I voted
"You will have a good time, let him smash"
I'm not sure if it's the right answer, but it's what I voted for since it's what I think is the right answer 
Are you really going to let him charge you though?
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I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!
I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk
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psi
TOAST N' JAM


Registered: 09/05/99
Posts: 31,456
Loc: 613
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G]
#22060147 - 08/07/15 07:11 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: Yeah, the internet, ironically, is the one place I come to to spill all my real life's secrets. I post shit on here that even a lot of my closest friends DO NOT KNOW ABOUT, and CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT.
I'm kind of the opposite, I generally avoid divulging embarrassing personal details on here. Don't want to give people ammo to go rustling my jimmies.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: LuSiD enthusiast]
#22060152 - 08/07/15 07:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
imachavel said: I voted
"You will have a good time, let him smash"
I'm not sure if it's the right answer, but it's what I voted for since it's what I think is the right answer 
Are you really going to let him charge you though?
Well… I mean, yeah. If I call him and have him service me, I sort of have to pay, especially since he told me in advance what his rates are, right?
Quote:
LuSiD enthusiast said: I have a feeling nothing you told him was a lie, and you were just desperate and got lucky and this is your way of telling us.
I was desperate, but I definitely do not have 5 children. Holy fuck, I would be such a mess, I would have blown my brains out ages ago!!!
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ballsalsa
Universally Loathed and Reviled



Registered: 03/11/15
Posts: 20,865
Loc: Foreign Lands
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G]
#22060170 - 08/07/15 07:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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in your experience as a professional BBC hunter, how many times out of 10 would you say that you find just a regular cock that happens to be black rather than successfully hunting down a BBC?
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Like cannabis topics? Read my cannabis blog here
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Crystal G]
#22060174 - 08/07/15 07:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Do you have the cash? As you know, professional escorts aint free.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: psi]
#22060176 - 08/07/15 07:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
psi said:
Quote:
Crystal G said: Yeah, the internet, ironically, is the one place I come to to spill all my real life's secrets. I post shit on here that even a lot of my closest friends DO NOT KNOW ABOUT, and CAN NEVER KNOW ABOUT.
I'm kind of the opposite, I generally avoid divulging embarrassing personal details on here. Don't want to give people ammo to go rustling my jimmies.

I feel more comfortable posting about real shit on random forums on the internet, because the way I see it, I'm mostly anonymous, and so is everybody else. Don't want any gossip about me floating around in my backyard, know what I mean?
Same reason I don't ever send nudes to people I know IRL. I don't want that shit coming back to haunt me. But I'll send them to random dudes online who I'll likely never see or meet in person.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: zappaisgod]
#22060185 - 08/07/15 07:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ballsalsa said: in your experience as a professional BBC hunter, how many times out of 10 would you say that you find just a regular cock that happens to be black rather than successfully hunting down a BBC?
What do you mean find a regular cock that happens to be black? All you gotta do is search for the black guy
Did you mean find a cock that happens to be BIG? Cause I've generally been pretty lucky in that department. Most guys I've fucked or dated were around 7 or 8 inches. In fact, I would say that has been more common and my general experience more than the guys with "average" 5 inch dicks, or anything less than 6.
The universe has sent me tons of karmic pleasure. THANK YOU UNIVERSE! 
Quote:
zappaisgod said: Do you have the cash? As you know, professional escorts aint free.
Obviously I was not planning on showing with just an ATM debit card like, "You take Visa?"
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner
Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: Hippocampus]
#22060190 - 08/07/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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don't come crying to us when you get the snot beat out of you, hiv, and/or raped op
Fucking a nigerian is bad enough but you're seriously considering paying for it...
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: luvdemboomers] 1
#22060199 - 08/07/15 07:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Racist retard.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already



Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: larry.fisherman]
#22060203 - 08/07/15 07:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Can someone quote that for me and tweak the name?
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,059
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 4 minutes, 8 seconds
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: larry.fisherman] 13
#22060357 - 08/07/15 08:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Where's the option "he will get aids"
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: I Met a Male Escort at the Bar…. What Would Happen If I Met Him? [Re: koods]
#22060389 - 08/07/15 08:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
koods said: Where's the option "he will get aids"
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