|
chameleon303



Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 1,703
Loc: Arcane Sanctuary
|
Some advice 20 months old is finally starting to make sense
#22051983 - 08/06/15 06:48 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
in brief i met someone online, we met on a game thing online about 4-5 years ago having only 1 or 2 quick chats then they came back into my life about 2-3 years later (2013) i had spent most that time alone and because of the way i form attachments to people/friends having lost my father at an early age this awesome relationship took place (mostly in my head i think now) and we sort of hit it off, i felt i was falling on love the first time and i cant get them out of my head still! even getting matches on tinder or other dating sites feels dry of feelings in a way like im trying to convince myself something could happen when all i really want is to have acted better with this girl and be with her now.
she knows this and has ceased contact with me the last message said she was only replying out of guilt and it woulnd't be good to talk on such a basis and so i said to her swearing on my fathers grave i wouldn't send any more msgs, funny now though i see im unblocked on fb...though most our taling was IM on skype, this actually makes me think i was right about a number of reasons she "randomly" came into my life as there were things making it seem a little like head games for reasons i wont go into here, but that didn't change the inital attachment i formed to them breaking my lonely time and being so nice etc.
to cut a very long story short i let things got to my head, i couldnt keep the cool personality i held up the first few weeks of meeting and in asking for advice elsewhere i was told a buch of stuff about getting my self sorted (which im kind of doing) as i wasn't in a position to be in a releationship anyway.
this advice is now just ringing true as with a recent match and few messages sent on tinder i feel i've really got a lot! of work to do on myself before i could have a relationship, not to mention let go of this person i still feel "something" for.
it all seems too much at times and i have self harmed and felt very suicidal over it, i dont know if im ever going to have what i want or be happy as i visioned my self being with this person which is what the advice i think was supposed to show that a person alone can't make me happy.
|
chameleon303



Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 1,703
Loc: Arcane Sanctuary
|
Re: Some advice 20 months old is finally starting to make sense [Re: chameleon303]
#22058655 - 08/07/15 01:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
|
|
okay so this girl on tinder just gave me her number and skype, ive exchanged mine and my mind is currently sea sawing a lot, like fuck i could almost move on as hard as that feels and try to see what happens here, and the other side is pretty obvious if you read the op, still hating on myself with regret at an amazing opertunity to make something of my self
i'll propberly just instant message with this girl for a bit to see how i feel before trying talking but so much time spent alone has fucked me up, that's the one thing ive really had to face after meeting this other person, each time we tried talking i was so shy and we had a brief chat once or twice and that felt like i could woirk from there but i continued to throw the parranoia im dealing wiht on her.
|
|