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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
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Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard
    #22042131 - 08/04/15 01:13 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Awesome, right?

On my way home from the city, me and the gal I was with were listening to music and having fun...well, a little too much fun.
Took my eye off the road for two seconds and as I turned back I was about a foot (or some shit) away from some huge ass truck with a bunch of logs or something on the back.

Anyway, I swerve to the left, then back to the right, then back to the left (you could hear the tires screeching and all of that good scary stuff)..

Crisis averted, we are reborn, whatever..halfway back to my place, we realize our phones are missing.

So I pull over and we start searching the car...about 5 minutes in, I realize my phone's in my back pocket lol and have the brilliant idea to call hers.
I call it and we hear nothing...she says it's on vibrate.

ALRIGHT, FINE, TURN EVERYTHING OFF AND LISTEN FOR THE [GOOD] VIBRATIONSSSS

nothing.

So we come up with this theory that during the whole life vs. death truck fiasco, it went flying out the window (on the highway mind you).

OH, OK, LET'S GO BACK AND SEE IF WE COME ACROSS IT (ON THE FUCKING HIGHWAY!)

So before I can get to the point of turning around so we're back the direction we were going, she decides to start exploring things (we're approaching road head territory here)..during this I managed to hit some bullshit traffic thing and bust my passenger side mirror (which I just found out is gonna cost me about $300 to get repaired! - great!)

So we finally get back to my place and start fooling around...get naked..can't get it up.

OK, I'll just get her off (go down on and her and all that good stuff...she's loving it, but still...CAN'T GET IT UP).

SO we conclude that I drank too much (and I was pretty fucking drunk) and it wasn't going to happen.
OK, no prob, we continue with the kissing and me just enjoying her moaning and squirming.


I thought it was because I was drinking too much, but I woke up and wanted to surprise her with a little morning sex bit...guess what?? COULDN'T DO IT
Even now, I still can't.

WTF is going on??
Why can't I get a boner??
I'm usually trying to hide the damn thing, and now it won't even pop the fuck up to say hello?/


ALL IN ALL, my stupidity could have killed us both, but instead I'm just left with a 300 dollar tab and the shame of not feeling so manly this morning.
I'm walking away with my head down...but I'm smiling.


MORAL OF THE STORY: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE, DON'T DRINK AND BONE, AND IF YOU'RE GETTING ROAD HEAD - TRY TO PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION TO WHAT'S GOING ON ON THE ROAD (MORE ROAD, LESS HEAD)!!

I'm just worried that I'm gonna get flagged in the women's database of sex reviews of men that they've banged (or in my case, attempted to).




Have you guys ever busted your passenger side mirror?
Have you ever been incapable of producing a luscious boner?
And most importantly, have you ever seen the database of which I speak??


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
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Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22042167 - 08/04/15 01:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

just heard form her and she had to pay 525 for her new phone

pretty expensive night, aye?


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleBurke Dennings
baby merchant

Registered: 11/29/04
Posts: 81,641
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy] * 5
    #22042179 - 08/04/15 01:23 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Can balding men even get boners?


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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
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Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,061
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 15 minutes, 40 seconds
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22042183 - 08/04/15 01:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Pics or it didn't happen


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleMalcolm_Xtasy
Oh baby what Is you doin??
Trans-male User Gallery


Registered: 04/04/12
Posts: 13,851
Loc: Flag
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22042184 - 08/04/15 01:24 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Did you start taking that medicine for your balding that we told you not to..?

And $525 for a new fuckin phone? I guess she didn't have insurance. That's fuckin crazy.


--------------------
I'm stupid, Enlil is smart.
I'm ugly, Enlil is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Enlil is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Enlil but secretly know I never will.


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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
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Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,061
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 15 minutes, 40 seconds
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #22042187 - 08/04/15 01:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Burke Dennings said:
Can balding men even get boners?



Not if they're on propecia


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleOsculateOfDemise
Female User Gallery


Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 2,879
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22042191 - 08/04/15 01:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You are probably just stressed out about the whole situation which could definitely be the reason why your little soldier couldn't rise for attention.

I hate to say it but that's the price you pay for drinking and driving, you're lucky it wasn't your life. Count your blessing and be thankful you only have to pay with money instead of ya know, death.


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
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Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Burke Dennings]
    #22042197 - 08/04/15 01:29 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

lol I'm not balding, my hair is just growing up and leaving the nest

and I'm over it..the balding thing. I may get that hair restoration thing one day, but not in the near future..
Like I said, I just get these impulsive attacks where I'm like, BUY BUY BUY IMPROVE IMPROVE IMPROVE SPEND SPEND SPEND OMG

I'm being more selfless..focusing on OTHERS..fuck me.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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OfflineRobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice
Male

Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 30 days, 8 hours
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy] * 2
    #22042847 - 08/04/15 04:05 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

"I'm being more selfless..focusing on OTHERS..fuck me."

They can't fuck you, because you can't get a boner.  :grin:


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy] * 3
    #22042880 - 08/04/15 04:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

damn shadyy quit driving drunk that's dangerous

also wtf kinda phone costs over 500 dollars? :freshwtf:

also, i'm prolly getting my ticket to peach fest in a week. u goin if i go?


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisibleOsculateOfDemise
Female User Gallery


Registered: 06/24/05
Posts: 2,879
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22042914 - 08/04/15 04:15 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

edit : wrong thread


Edited by OsculateOfDemise (08/04/15 04:20 PM)


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22043285 - 08/04/15 05:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

yeah, which day..or days..are you gonna be there?


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22043339 - 08/04/15 05:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

If I go it'll be for the whole weekend, i'll let u kno whats up


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22043407 - 08/04/15 05:36 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

well I need to buy a ticket too, ya weenie


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22043417 - 08/04/15 05:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

i kno, i'll let u kno when im gonna order mine, might not be till next paycheck tho idk, got all this financial stuff i gotta sort out


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22043516 - 08/04/15 05:55 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

alright, that's cool

I'll bring some ludes


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22043618 - 08/04/15 06:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I heard at Camp Bisco, which was at the same venue like last weekend, that they had dogs searching the inside of like every car that went in. Ironically enough considering the fact that Bisco moved there to avoid police presence


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22043699 - 08/04/15 06:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

damn autocorrect..I meant lube


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: shadyy]
    #22043778 - 08/04/15 06:36 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

:shocked:


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,061
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 15 minutes, 40 seconds
Re: so I almost died last night, and then I couldn't get hard [Re: Sheekle]
    #22043797 - 08/04/15 06:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Not sure which one sheekle would prefer. Probably the lube since he's gonna be really tight.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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