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Invisibleelax420
Anal Destroyer
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
Anal Sex
    #22040561 - 08/04/15 02:53 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

How do you convince your girl to let you slip it in for a little rear entry?


I've been trying for a fucking minute, but alas, no luck.....
How the hell am I supposed to be the anal destroyer, if i aint destroying them anals?
:whatwhat:





Well thats my story for the night.


Anyone have any good tales they would like to share of close encounters with the brown eye?
Any all funny sexual stories are welcome though.


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OfflineTurtletotem
Dutch Delight
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Registered: 09/02/13
Posts: 3,763
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 1
    #22040566 - 08/04/15 02:56 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

A few years ago I had a girlfriend who introduced me to her brown eye.
I miss her.


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 1 hour, 33 minutes
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 1
    #22040573 - 08/04/15 02:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I've never understood the obsession with anal. Why would you want to stick your dick in a shit chute when you have a perfectly good vagina right there.. If you're gonna bring up the tightness factor, then find someone who hasn't been stretched out enough to fit the whole of the Harlem Globetrotters in her vagina at the same time.

Only time it's ever been attempted was with me and someone very drunk. It didn't end well. Just resulted in her crying and left me with blue balls.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


Edited by Shroomslip (08/04/15 03:01 AM)


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InvisibleJvF
Fletcher Detcher


Registered: 02/13/14
Posts: 2,662
Loc: Chicago Flag
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22040584 - 08/04/15 03:14 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Shit chute is great.

A vag has a bunch of contours and ribs that feel amazing, however anal offers an almost completely different experience.

Theres no ribs, its completely smooth. But at the same time theres certain points where it tightens up and its basically just pressure and little sensation.

I love anal.

Start using your fingers to do it. Buy a buttplug to open her up to the idea(buttplugs are amazing, btw, it tightens the vag when its in and makes it a whole new experience).

After a while, she may see assplay as no big deal. Make sure to provide generous clitoral stimulation before and during the experience whenever entering the area.

If youre confident with youe hands use those, otherwise a vibrator is a sure hit


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OfflineBrown Buffalo
paisley superstar
Male


Registered: 09/14/13
Posts: 821
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: JvF] * 1
    #22040592 - 08/04/15 03:26 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

DSHSB


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420]
    #22040785 - 08/04/15 05:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

just tell her she has a sweet ass and you wanna fuck it, during sex put pressure on her bum hole with a finger, she'll like that and its not full insertion, work your way up from there.

i always just told ladies i was gonna fuck their ass, they always said ok :shrug:


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©️


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InvisibleChasingBliss
.
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/23/13
Posts: 4,759
Loc: Los Santos
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 1
    #22040815 - 08/04/15 05:59 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Just pull the ol' "Oops, wrong hole"


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:leaf:


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: ChasingBliss]
    #22040901 - 08/04/15 06:45 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

really though the whole allure of anal is for the novelty I think, it's so wrong it's right kinda thing.

I prefer some nice cooter any day of the week though.


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©️


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Lucis]
    #22040913 - 08/04/15 06:53 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Attempted with a GF years ago, didn't even get it all the way in before she said stop and didnt want to go through with it because it hurt. The look on her face wasn't exactly a turn on either unless you're a sadist and get off on that type of shit.

Haven't really been interested since, porn gave me a false sense of thinking it would be different.


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OfflineJanky Tits

Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #22040917 - 08/04/15 06:55 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Surprise butt sex dude, she'll love it


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InvisibleSirShroomsAlott
Howdy
I'm a teapot


Registered: 05/15/14
Posts: 6,945
Loc: United States Flag
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Janky Tits]
    #22040922 - 08/04/15 06:58 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

She might, but I won't love the suprise shit I didn't know she was about to take.


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: SirShroomsAlott]
    #22040954 - 08/04/15 07:22 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

lots and lots of lube, and you gotta loosen that thing up with some anal play at first, small dildo or finger work well just make sure your nails are clipped so you don't cut her delicate sphincter.


or just go about it the old fashion way, a little spin in your hand a whole lotta daring.:lol:


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©️


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OfflineArtnotwar
Chemical Researcher
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/07/06
Posts: 3,379
Last seen: 8 months, 29 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 3
    #22041047 - 08/04/15 08:11 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You need to start playing the butthole with your fingers while you're fucking her. First just give it a gentle rub with no insertion. Even just rest your finger on it while you're fucking her, just so she gets used to something being in the nether region. Can you imagine if someone stuck their finger up your ass out of nowhere? I'm pretty sure you would jump about a foot in the air.

Do this over time. Each time you're fucking her, give it a rub.

After getting her used to the idea of this, she will start to become more comfortable, and she will start to relax her sphincter, making for almost effortless digital penetration. You shouldn't have to force anything. Oh, and make sure you get lotsa pussy juice all up in there so it is just sliding around.

After she accepts your anal needs, and doesn't mind your extremities entering her anal passage, it's time for the big guns.

Alcohol and can be your saving grace here. Lube is a no questions asked, must have for this situation.

When you're both a bit tipsy, take her to the bedroom or anywhere you feel like for that matter, and proceed to make dirty love using your little hand-dildos like you have been practicing over the last few weeks. Get her asshole all nice and loosened up, again, a finger should slip in with little to no resistance.

Grab some lube, lube the shit out of her asshole, and your cock. Now, sometimes getting your dick in can be a little tricky, as there is so much lube you could probably rub your dick on a cheese grater and it would feel nice. It's going to want to slip and slide everywhere but her virgin asshole. Persistence is key. Even slip your finger in, and use that as a guise for your cock. Once you have it centred it just in the right spot, you'll know. Once you get to this point, TAKE IT SLOW. You're going to feel a 'pop' once the head of your Johnson is completely engrossed in her crap cave. This will make her jump a bit.

From there, you need to take it REALLY slow. Your penis will be telling you to do the exact opposite, but don't listen to him, he's only trying to sabotage you. Take baby pumps man, don't ruin it now, you've made it this far. You'll be able to judge when to increase the baby pumps by the look of pain and regret in her eyes.
In my experience, if you do it right, you should be able to fuck her ass pretty good in this first session.

The main thing is, don't be too hasty. Take your time. Jumping the gun can mean that she will never want to try anal with you, or any other poor sucker ever again. So for the sake of yourself, and your fellow brethrens, go easy on the poor girl and pace yourself.


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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Until the 20th century, reality was everything humans could touch, smell, see,
and hear.
Since the initial publication of the charged electromagnetic spectrum, humans
learned that what they can touch, smell, see, and hear... is less than one
millionth of reality.
--------------------------------



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InvisibleSun King
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/15/14
Posts: 4,069
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 1
    #22041056 - 08/04/15 08:15 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)



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Invisibleelax420
Anal Destroyer
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Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Shroomslip]
    #22048711 - 08/05/15 05:14 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Shroomslip said:
I've never understood the obsession with anal. Why would you want to stick your dick in a shit chute when you have a perfectly good vagina right there.. If you're gonna bring up the tightness factor, then find someone who hasn't been stretched out enough to fit the whole of the Harlem Globetrotters in her vagina at the same time.

Only time it's ever been attempted was with me and someone very drunk. It didn't end well. Just resulted in her crying and left me with blue balls.







Its more a change of pace then anything. I can get pussy anytime i want. Now butthole nah...... That shit is like some special occasion shit.


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Offlinespecialpeopleclub
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 5,584
Loc: Mitten
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420]
    #22048760 - 08/05/15 05:21 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Must resist...singing
:rainbowcloud:
Butts butts butts butts, butts butts butts butts
They are so lovely
And we also poop out of them
What's up with that?
I don't know, but this songbird about butts!
Stick it in the shitter
Everyone needs a butt, you slutt!


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OfflineLove_spirit
Circle Of Power
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Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420]
    #22048902 - 08/05/15 05:41 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Damn bitch you shit on my dick


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InvisibleSalomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Male
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH Flag
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Love_spirit]
    #22049129 - 08/05/15 06:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

stick a double ended dildo ALL the way up your own ass before hand and  then tell her you have a suprise for her, have her bend over, and touch butts.

she'll be confused, but then you need to take the largest shit of 3 feet of dildo possible into her ass and make ackward grunting noises and scream something like "OH MY GOD THE HAMSTER IS ESCAPING" as you shit a dildo into her ass.


obviously sshe'll be toadily into it and take it all. she may be disapointed that theres no actuial hamster, although bonus points if you cram one or 2 up there aswell.

then you will both shit into eachothers ass for hours.

ASS TO ASS

after this event you're golden for lyfe:bushdre:


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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Offlinezappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Salomon]
    #22049247 - 08/05/15 06:31 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)



Watch that.  It is worth every minute


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OfflineHalluciNate
Trippage! / Loving
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 07/25/12
Posts: 4,440
Loc: ALL THAT IS
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420]
    #22049631 - 08/05/15 07:25 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

elax420 said:
How do you convince your girl to let you slip it in for a little rear entry?


I've been trying for a fucking minute, but alas, no luckbutt-fuck.....
How the hell am I supposed to be the anal destroyer, if i aint destroying them anals?
:whatwhat:





Well thats my story for the night.


Anyone have any good tales they would like to share of close encounters with the brown eye?
Any all funny sexual stories are welcome though.



Fixed....:bigyesnod:
If you get poop on your dick, just wipe it off when you're done.  :seriousthumbsup:

:themoreyouknow:


--------------------
We are here to assist, to teach you to evolve as we go through this process together. We give our own version of things only to bring you to a higher consciousness. No matter what situation you find yourself in, it is the power of your thoughts that got you there. It is also the impeccable belief that thought creates that will transform your experience and the planetary existence.




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Invisibleshadyy
aHhahhHA
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420] * 1
    #22049670 - 08/05/15 07:30 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Find a catholic chick. They love anal.


--------------------

ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13


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OfflineBabyCorn
Cosmic Voyageur
Male


Registered: 07/21/15
Posts: 58
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Artnotwar]
    #22049709 - 08/05/15 07:34 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Artnotwar said:
The main thing is, don't be too hasty. Take your time. Jumping the gun can mean that she will never want to try anal with you, or any other poor sucker ever again. So for the sake of yourself, and your fellow brethrens, go easy on the poor girl and pace yourself.




poetry

:scarygrin:


--------------------
"i'm a dea agent, fuck wit it"


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OfflineRanOutOfWeed
Sleepy
 User Gallery


Registered: 12/29/13
Posts: 2,975
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
Re: Anal Sex [Re: elax420]
    #22049730 - 08/05/15 07:37 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Just lube up her ass and put it in. She'll love it


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Anal Sex [Re: HalluciNate]
    #22049782 - 08/05/15 07:47 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

HalluciNate said:

If you get poop on your dick, just wipe it off when you're done.  :seriousthumbsup:

:themoreyouknow:






Hmmm, I have fucked hella bitches in the bum, only got a shitty tip once.

1 time outta 100, not bad :shrug:


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©️


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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: Anal Sex [Re: Lucis]
    #22050379 - 08/05/15 09:28 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Get her the perfect amount of drunk where she is fully coherient but totally kinky and loose.  Pound her vagina hard and after she cums even looser.

Look her in the eyes and tell her the only way she will be attractive is if you fuck her where the sun dont shine.  She'll be bending over in no time


--------------------

"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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InvisiblezZZz
jesus
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
Re: Anal Sex [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #22050410 - 08/05/15 09:33 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

just put the very tip of ur finger in her butt right before she is going to climax,

thank me later


--------------------
https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv


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Invisibleelax420
Anal Destroyer
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/16/12
Posts: 15,536
Re: Anal Sex [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #22051445 - 08/06/15 01:17 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

The Doobie Dude said:
Get her the perfect amount of drunk where she is fully coherient but totally kinky and loose.  Pound her vagina hard and after she cums even looser.

Look her in the eyes and tell her the only way she will be attractive is if you fuck her where the sun dont shine.  She'll be bending over in no time





Thats not a bad plan up until the hella creepy fucked up line at the end.

Turn off the lights get hella ky jelly up in there and “miss"


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