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OfflinePurkinje
Stranger
Female


Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 34
Loc: SW Ohio
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Two years after the break-up...
    #22032211 - 08/02/15 06:23 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

So, my ex-fiance's best friend contacted me a couple of months ago after they had a serious falling out. Let's call my ex "J" and J's ex-best friend "V". I happened to find myself in that shitty fucking town tonight, so I met up with V at a bar for a couple of drinks. I broke up with J over two years ago after finally realizing he was abusive and I had to get out before I died, and I've hated him ever since. I had finally sort of made peace with it recently by trying to remind myself that he grew up in the shittiest of situations and being addicted to heroin made him an awful person. After what V told me tonight about J, I want J fucking dead. I want to tie him to a chair, feed him dope for days, then laugh at his dope-sick ass while I shoot up in front of him. I want to slit his throat, castrate him and keep his pickled balls on my mantle.

Apparently, he was fucking every girl he came across and everyone knew it except for me. Girls I thought were my friends. I fucking supported him, kept a roof over his head, payed for his dope (by way of him stealing my fucking money and then apologizing for it a week later, and my stupid ass fell for it every fucking time) for five fucking years. He fucked other girls in my fucking bed. And he was always so afraid I was cheating on him, I wasn't allowed to fucking have friends or anything. He'd whimper about his ex-wife cheating on him and shit, but I remained fucking faithful to him. Even when we would go months without any sex, even though I have a really high sex drive and he couldn't get it up for me because of the dope or because he was getting it elsewhere, I never fucking cheated.

I don't know, after I finally got out of that relationship and out of that town, I've kind of blocked out a lot about those five years. It was such a terrible time in my life, I was put in a lot of awful situations, and it was just too painful to think about. But I keep ending up in that shitty town by strange coincidences, I'm more connected to it than I realized, so I keep learning about or remembering shit I had blocked out or didn't know about, and it makes me sick to my fucking stomach.


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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Khalil Gibran


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Purkinje] * 2
    #22034954 - 08/02/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Never trust a junkie. I wouldnt even date a former addict. They are shitty people even if its not 100% their fault


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Purkinje]
    #22035546 - 08/02/15 10:00 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Best advice I can give is to accept whatever pain there is in you and move on. That's not worth thinking about and neither is he.

I'm not saying it's easy to accept pain or to completely move on but it's what will make a difference in your future for the better.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflinePurkinje
Stranger
Female


Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 34
Loc: SW Ohio
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: sudly]
    #22036861 - 08/03/15 09:54 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, I guess I'm just going to have to sit with the pain and accept the facts. It just never feels good to know you were taken advantage of. I was young and naive, but I'm so mad at myself for this.

Why would "V" wait until now to tell me this? I mean, I am glad he told me, it confirmed a lot of my suspicions and let me know I need to get tested for HIV and Hep C again. But I'm pretty sure V decided to rip open old wounds because "J" stole $1700 from him, effectively ending their friendship.

I feel gross inside. Some of the girls J was fucking were disgusting. I'm worried about how this is going to affect my current relationship. My current BF says he understands why I feel so torn up, but I know it's gotta sting. And now I don't really want him to even touch me because I feel so disgusting and worthless.

Okay, time to get myself up off of my pity-pot, I guess.


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"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Khalil Gibran


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
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Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Purkinje] * 1
    #22037272 - 08/03/15 11:42 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

I think youre taking this way too hard. Two years is a long time to let this affect you so much. Especially if you let it affect your current relationship

I totally get where youre coming from. When I hate someone I hate them completely. No punishment is harsh enough

But heres the thing. The more you hate him the more he wins. He never respected you so you likely mean nothing to him now. But by getting this worked up about the long dead past you are letting yourself be victimized all over again.

If you were truly over it this news would have been almost funny. Darkly funny, like "Ha, wow, hes even more of a piece of shit than I thought"

Also considering the sick shit this friend V was keeping from you, remember he probably told you now so he had someone to share his hatred. He ripped open old wounds of yours because misery loves company. He lied to your face for years, dont forget that. His confessions show hes a pretty shitty friend to you so dont trust him ever again. Learn your lesson, once youre shown a person cant be trusted dont try to forgive them.

As for feeling disguisting, I have no idea how to tell you to deal with that. Ive never learned how to forgive myself for my stupidity


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,805
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Purkinje]
    #22038827 - 08/03/15 06:18 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

You can take this as hard as you want, if you feel hurt, express it and cry it out. One of the worse things you can do is bottle up your emotions to yourself.

One thing that helped me move on from a situation like this was to realise that my partner was simply a selfish person. As in your case, your ex partner is a selfish person which is not a problem with you.

You've put in a fine example of how selfish "J" is too. Stealing $1700 from a friend is one of the most selfish things someone can do.

Please remember that "J" is a selfish individual who tends to only think about himself, as evident by his actions.

It's difficult to do but I think you need to try and forgive yourself for being in a relationship with him.
Is there anything specific that you've learnt from that relationship? Anything that has changed in you or helped to create new personal boundaries?

Learning from mistakes and realising the lesson is often helpful to self forgiveness.


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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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InvisibleThe Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: bloodsheen]
    #22050115 - 08/05/15 08:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Never trust a junkie. I wouldnt even date a former addict. They are shitty people even if its not 100% their fault



Once a opiate user becomes a junkie they have permanently lost their soul for forever


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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head.  If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick
I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.


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OfflinePsilopsychic
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Registered: 11/04/13
Posts: 305
Loc: Washington
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: The Doobie Dude]
    #22050889 - 08/05/15 11:08 PM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

The Doobie Dude said:
Quote:

bloodsheen said:
Never trust a junkie. I wouldnt even date a former addict. They are shitty people even if its not 100% their fault



Once a opiate user becomes a junkie they have permanently lost their soul for forever



:burke:


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OfflinePurkinje
Stranger
Female


Registered: 07/08/15
Posts: 34
Loc: SW Ohio
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Psilopsychic]
    #22101217 - 08/17/15 12:55 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks for all your advice, I guess I just had to learn the hard way to never trust a junkie. I think it was just the initial shock and all the awful memories it brought up.

I did also find out that he had/has nude photos and a video of me that he shared with all of his friends. I'm hoping he didn't stoop so low as to post anything online.

Who the fuck knows, I'm just glad that's not my life anymore.


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Offlinesprinkles
otd president
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
Re: Two years after the break-up... [Re: Purkinje] * 1
    #22101229 - 08/17/15 01:02 AM (8 years, 5 months ago)

holy shit.  I would want him dead too.  How much money do you have?  Maybe we can get a 2 for the price of 1 deal.


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