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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
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Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Six Months Sober- Thoughts 3
#22029438 - 08/01/15 04:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I quit drinking 6 months ago on January 29th.
A few weeks later I started going to an alcohol abuse counselor who specialized in mindfulness meditation and CBT based treatment. I've been really liking his approach because it focuses on developing mental tools and self-awareness to deal with addictive thoughts as they arise. My previous addiction counselors wanted to dig into the past: talk about my childhood, my mother, my father, etc. That has its place but it never helped me much. It always felt a little too ego-reinforcing, pity-partyish, like "poor Hitsuzen and his difficult life." Bullshit. Working on coping mechanisms that I can use now, in the present moment, has helped so much more. Addiction isn't really a past or future problem. It's always just now. One day at a time. One moment at a time.
I also started going to the local Zen center. At first I was going a few times a month but I quickly ramped up to twice a week. I'd meditate 25 minutes a day at home and 90 minutes a day on the two days I went to the Zen center. I guess my consistency at the Zen center made an impression with the monks there. They "promoted" me to jikijitsu-in-training (a jikijitsu keeps time during meditation, leads walking meditation and chants, offers incense, and is basically the leader of a meditation session).
Last Wednesday, the day I was six months sober, was my first time leading the Zen center. It was definitely waaay out of my comfort zone. I don't like leading, I hate the limelight and I'm terrified of screwing things up publicly. But I did it! With the timing of it all, it certainly felt like a small rite of passage.
Anyway. For anyone who might be looking for help with substance abuse, I recommend trying mindfulness-based therapy and CBT. If you can fit in daily meditation, even better. It's been working for me so far. Not always easy, but always doable.
Kinda cliche but... if I can do it, literally anyone can. Thanks for reading.
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22029554 - 08/01/15 05:09 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thats awesome mate

I too suffered from depression and addiction and rebuilt myself using meditation
I am not part of any religion "officially" but I your story has encouraged me to vist my local zen center
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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
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Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: topdog82]
#22030023 - 08/01/15 06:44 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Thanks man! I'm glad meditation has helped you too. One of the nice things about Zen is that they do almost everything in silence with bells and clappers to direct the practitioners. So it's fairly comfortable for non-Buddhist meditators to attend. No dogma being shoved down your throat or anything.
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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topdog82
Death Spirit



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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22030424 - 08/01/15 08:12 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hitsuzen said: Thanks man! I'm glad meditation has helped you too. One of the nice things about Zen is that they do almost everything in silence with bells and clappers to direct the practitioners. So it's fairly comfortable for non-Buddhist meditators to attend. No dogma being shoved down your throat or anything. 
I figure. Thats what makes me especially interested in zen
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22031195 - 08/01/15 11:03 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Congratulations.
Always nice to read success stories.
-------------------- ©️
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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Lucis]
#22033336 - 08/02/15 12:42 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said: Congratulations.
Always nice to read success stories.
Thanks man!
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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misterjingo
Divided by zero



Registered: 09/26/12
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22033696 - 08/02/15 02:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well done!
It's great to hear how beneficial meditation has been for you .
Meditation is the one thing I can point to that had radically altered my life. Daily meditation has changed me from a fairly uptight person prone to outbursts, with little to no patience, to someone who rarely feels that simmering agitation and anger.
I'm not perfect, but I'm aware enough to not get caught up with my agitation, and just watch it, letting it go. I'll be interested to see where it leads me.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: misterjingo]
#22034626 - 08/02/15 05:51 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
misterjingo said: Well done!
It's great to hear how beneficial meditation has been for you .
Meditation is the one thing I can point to that had radically altered my life. Daily meditation has changed me from a fairly uptight person prone to outbursts, with little to no patience, to someone who rarely feels that simmering agitation and anger.
I'm not perfect, but I'm aware enough to not get caught up with my agitation, and just watch it, letting it go. I'll be interested to see where it leads me.
Agreed. I still lose my cool sometimes, but I rarely take things personally etc.
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jack_straw2208
Doctor



Registered: 02/12/07
Posts: 3,115
Loc: Earth
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: misterjingo]
#22034785 - 08/02/15 06:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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good work man! hahahah when i first read it i thought CBT stood for cock and ball torture, cognitive behavioral therapy sounds much more healing though!
-------------------- If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.
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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Thanks guys!
Quote:
misterjingo said: I'm not perfect, but I'm aware enough to not get caught up with my agitation, and just watch it, letting it go. I'll be interested to see where it leads me.
Yeah, it's amazing to realize you don't have to attach to every passing thought or emotion, isn't it? 
Quote:
jack_straw2208 said: good work man! hahahah when i first read it i thought CBT stood for cock and ball torture, cognitive behavioral therapy sounds much more healing though!
That would make for some interesting therapy appointments...
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22036077 - 08/03/15 12:30 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hitsuzen said: Thanks guys!
Quote:
misterjingo said: I'm not perfect, but I'm aware enough to not get caught up with my agitation, and just watch it, letting it go. I'll be interested to see where it leads me.
Yeah, it's amazing to realize you don't have to attach to every passing thought or emotion, isn't it? 
Quote:
jack_straw2208 said: good work man! hahahah when i first read it i thought CBT stood for cock and ball torture, cognitive behavioral therapy sounds much more healing though!
That would make for some interesting therapy appointments...

You have no clue how that first comment changed/blew my mind
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22036558 - 08/03/15 07:24 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm also in treatment as well for my addictive habits, and I've been kinda dragging my feet with the whole counseling side of things due to negative experiences with psychologists and the like in the past. It's helpful to be able to have something in mind for if and when I do finally get back around to seeing one, as it's rough sometimes coping, but I've also just gotten better over the years dealing with it on my own. So I appreciate the thoughts.
I'm still on a maintenance program, so when I stop that is when I've really gotta buckle down and do everything to make sure I'm on top of my game, so before that I figure I should get in counseling. Otherwise I stop and I will be driven to drink, which will just start the whole cycle all over again. Alot of the childhood stuff is BS for most people, but there is something going on that needs to be addressed, and a trained person with another perspective can't be a bad thing. I just don't like the ones that make me feel like an asshole
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Anonymous #1
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Nice work.
I went almost 6 years without a drop, then I started drinking again. Nothing good was coming out of it, so I might as well do it drunk.
I've been trying to meditate more lately, but the drink makes it seem useless. I understand what you mean about the here-and-now coping skills it presents in the present.
I would love to go to a zen/Buddhist center, but I smell too bad to go out into public.
I stink because I drink. I drink because I stink.
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topdog82
Death Spirit



Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 7,992
Loc: California
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Nice work.
I went almost 6 years without a drop, then I started drinking again. Nothing good was coming out of it, so I might as well do it drunk.
I've been trying to meditate more lately, but the drink makes it seem useless. I understand what you mean about the here-and-now coping skills it presents in the present.
I would love to go to a zen/Buddhist center, but I smell too bad to go out into public.
I stink because I drink. I drink because I stink.
I bought a lot of GHB. I ended up helping my alcoholic friend wean off alc and eventually quit alc completely by using GHB
PM me if you have any questions. GHB doesnt make you reak/stink
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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said: I'm also in treatment as well for my addictive habits, and I've been kinda dragging my feet with the whole counseling side of things due to negative experiences with psychologists and the like in the past.
I hear ya. I've been through 3 or 4 counselors and just didn't have chemistry with them. It's hard to find someone you really connect with isn't it? Good luck!
Quote:
Anonymous said: I stink because I drink. I drink because I stink.
The old Fat Bastard paradox, eh? Rock on with your meditation practice. Drinking or not, I'm sure you will benefit. By the way, 6 years! My mind can't even comprehend that length of sobriety at this point.
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22040736 - 08/04/15 05:28 AM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Hitsuzen said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I stink because I drink. I drink because I stink.
The old Fat Bastard paradox, eh?
Not sure what the problem is. I've smelled since I was 19, so I figured it was my gut or my guts(liver). I quit for 6 years to try to help that problem, but the smell was still there.
If I smell like a drunk bum, might as well be one.
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Soularize
slanted and enchanted


Registered: 02/11/05
Posts: 1,178
Loc: United States
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congrats on the 6 months, man. Meditation is something I've been meaning to do more of. I'm on day 51 now. I've sort of passed through the initial rapturous phase of early sobriety - reclaiming your life, a restored hope, etc - and now seem to be drifting through stretches of disassociation. I feel sort of dazed and confused at times, without the drugs 
I would hope for more clarity in sobriety, but I figure that could take some serious time. I've been trying to get one year free of booze, for about the last 5 or so years. I always feel such conviction in my resolve to quit at the outset, but as time goes on, that conviction seems to somehow dissolve. I guess this is why people go to AA meetings even after being sober for years; they need to constantly remind themselves of the hell that is their old life. I don't use AA, but I do write down things that I'm thankful for, nearly every night before bed. I don't usually subscribe to these kinds of routines, but I have found it quite helpful. I am mostly thankful for being conscious enough to be thankful - To be curious and fascinated again, illuminated by the infinite wonder of things.
I can't say that my sober life is necessarily easier, but I believe it is better.
-------------------- "All but one man died. There at Bitter Creek. And they say he ran awayyy." - A little show called Branded
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Hitsuzen
Space Cowboy



Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 399
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Soularize]
#22047265 - 08/05/15 12:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've had the exact same experiences. There's always that awesome honeymoon period and once that's over the real work begins. The dissociation definitely gets old, doesn't it? Good luck man!
-------------------- Hate never yet dispelled hate, Only love dispels hate. This is the law, Ancient and inexhaustible. -Buddha
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Helliotion
Seeker



Registered: 08/01/15
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22047295 - 08/05/15 12:54 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've been attempting to sober up myself. I've been regularly drinking since I graduated high school 4 years ago. I'm 22 now and I haven't really done anything with my life so far. I've got no college credits, I've lost 4 jobs due to alcohol although at least I've got work experience...always a plus. I got a Dui when I was 19. I got thru that. I've had plenty of tickets and such associated to my drinking. I've just recently lost my 4th job because of drinking and now I'm more determined than I've ever been to quit drinking. I had been hoping to just moderate my drinking or just drink on the weekends but I don't see that being successful for me. So I'm quitting completely. I expect every now and then I'll fall to temptation, but I won't dwell on that failure, I'll get right back up and try again to be sober each time. Hopefully, the failures will occur less and less frequent until nonexistent. Lately, I've been reading threads, like this one, concerning sobriety. I find them to be motivational. I love reading threads in which people state certain benefits they've enjoyed since becoming sober. Most of them state, "More energy, More time, No more hangovers, Work Performance improved, Better spending habits, no more arrests" to name a few. Even writing this post I feel an additional motivation and an excitement for sobriety. There's more to life than drinking...and not everybody drinks.
-------------------- A Healthy Body Facilitates a Healthy Mind.
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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Re: Six Months Sober- Thoughts [Re: Hitsuzen]
#22069116 - 08/09/15 07:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Congratulations!
I hope I can someday follow in your footsteps.
<--- high functioning alcoholic
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