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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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I need ego death
#22025817 - 07/31/15 07:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I've been treating my social anxiety with phenibut, and it's great - awesome - but I don't think it's something I can continue.
My dosage is really getting up there due to tolerance, and I would rather get off this path now (before I dig myself deeper in the hole I'm already somewhat in).
I feel like I have too much focus on ME. I used to be more about everyone else -- really show interest in others (and it was genuine). But now I feel like whenever I'm talking to someone (unless I'm on the phenibut), I'm just thinking about how I'm being perceived. My focus tends to be on the next thing I'm gonna say, rather than actually listening/interpreting to what the other person is saying.
I hate this. I don't want to be this way but I can't help it.
I feel like "ego death" is something that should be considered to help me get out of this jam. Just unsure about how to achieve this.
My sources for psychs have slowly dissolved since high school -- I kind of left the drug scene for a while.
Are there any substances that I could buy legally that can help get me there? I know I have all the info I need to grow, but I don't think it's the best idea right now.
Just looking for some advice.
I've been working out, eating right, and all that - so please don't suggest the healthy living shit.
Like I said, phenibut has been my cure but the tolerance is becoming an issue.
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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MilkdudTitties
My Nipples Look Like Milk Duds



Registered: 03/22/09
Posts: 3,796
Loc: USA
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22025839 - 07/31/15 07:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Smoke or chew on some salvia
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22025844 - 07/31/15 07:28 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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San Pedro cactus, ayahuasca, or 4 aco dmt would be my suggestions.
Or apparently there's this whole "dark net" where you can pretty much get anything, but I fail at computer so I dunno.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
Edited by nicechrisman (07/31/15 07:29 PM)
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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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Ok, and I know I can't ask for sources, but would be the best way to go about finding sources for these things? I feel like Google can be misleading
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22025897 - 07/31/15 07:38 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you do some Googling around, you can find forums where people do discuss vendors and give feedback about them and stuff. I haven't ever ordered any rcs so I'm not quite sure the best way. Cactus and ayahuasca can both be found very easily through reputable vendors. I would suggest though that you stick with bridgesii if you are ordering cactus because the vast majority of pedros and peruvianus out there are weaksauce.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Janky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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People who go out looking for ego death don't really find it in the right ways. Don't just go into a trip expecting yourself to achieve a state of pure selflessness or ego death. I think you need to go into a trip not expecting anything.
Smoke some DMT and you might achieve what you desire.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,561
Loc: Utah
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22025943 - 07/31/15 07:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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You'll have to wait for safeorscam to come back online.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: I need ego death [Re: nooneman]
#22025966 - 07/31/15 07:59 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sounds like psyches could definitely help you
I need that sort of emotional cleansing myself
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Janky Tits
Registered: 06/19/14
Posts: 4,037
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
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I remember when I sought out ego death I was in for a hell of a surprise. What I got when I smoked DMT was cosmic obliteration. Losing your sense of self is terrifying, it is absolutely terrifying to feel everything that you are be obliterated and just erased. If you are no longer there then it means you have been destroyed and that feeling is terrifying. Ego death is good but be prepared to experience likely one of the most terrifying feelings a human can experience.
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shadyy
aHhahhHA



Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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I've been reading dmt stories for a while, and I think it sounds like something that could really be what I'm looking for
Is ot definitely legal?
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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makaveli8x8
Stranger

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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026008 - 07/31/15 08:10 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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can't you just go to sleep to experience ego death?
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  We were sent to hell for eternity Ø h® We play on earth to pass the time Over-population the root of all Evil-brings the Elites Closer to the gates.
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Giftofdeprivation
Discerning Vagrant



Registered: 07/20/13
Posts: 3,933
Last seen: 8 years, 28 days
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026038 - 07/31/15 08:16 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm a psychology major who suffered from social anxiety all my life, but severely so (too scared to even go grocery shopping) between the ages of about 16-22. Now that I've built my "higher authority" argument, I'll admit that what I'm about to say is only as relevant to you in so much as you can identify with. Take it with a grain of salt if you have successful results!
In my experience, self medicating with psychedelics had mixed effects. While it does allow an ego death and would promote a (mostly temporary) mindfulness based (metacognitive) change in your attention and perceptions, it also has a great deal of impact on your emotions and can really throw your irrational fears into a further irrational, or psychotic place.
Looking back, usually my emotions didn't get the best of me and psychs helped me organize my thoughts a LOT. When it was bad, it stuck with me for a while. Granted, I took them with the intent of tackling my social anxiety and put forth a lot of thought in that direction during my trips (placebo is great in its own way). Who knows, man, just look out for irrational fears that you present to others with a sense of urgency that they end up not finding valid. Symptom of psychosis.
I realized that the problem wasn't that I was afraid of people, I just had a hard time relating to them. That also made it difficult to identify with them, which causes feelings of disassociation, depression, low self worth, and anxiety. I just stopped caring about relating to them
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Looking for recipes? Have some recipes to share? Please post what you have in the official cooking thread for Pubbers! HERE! Shoutout to Azur's Official cooking thread for OTDers! Posters Beware!
Edited by Giftofdeprivation (07/31/15 08:19 PM)
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LogicaL Chaos
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs




Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,360
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026043 - 07/31/15 08:17 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Uhhh, this may be a dumb question, considering its the Shroomery, but why not grow mushrooms?
shrooms are known for their ego dissolving abilities.
And they are cheap to grow too.
-------------------- "What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms | Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏
  Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise   Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 |  Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! Shpongle
     
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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I think trying to resist the power of the experience is where people tend to get into a negative headspace
You have to have an appropriate set and setting to have a positive experience that's why I like to treat my solo trips like a ritual with a dark room candles positive psychedelic imagery soothing music and what not you have to create a good space for yourself which is conducive to that state of mind
It can and does become extremely terrifying but if you can let that fear emanate within you and course through every part of your essence you'll find that there's really nothing to be afraid of
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Soulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .



Registered: 07/15/12
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026052 - 07/31/15 08:19 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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DMT is definitely illegal, but its awesome
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  R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate. [/url]
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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026056 - 07/31/15 08:20 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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That's an awesome goal you have. Enlightenment is light years better then any opiate high. I don't know how to achieve it. It just happened for awhile after a decade of no drugs, spiritual work and meditation. There's nothing special about me that I can ascertain
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026064 - 07/31/15 08:22 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Anything you say, do, or use will leave you in a bubble of limitations. You must realize this before you can reach infinity.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Quote:
Soulidarity said: DMT is definitely illegal, but its awesome
However I believe ACRB is still legal
I've used Cyb's hybrid salt tek to extract DMT from it and I can guarantee it works
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Quote:
OhMrJohnson said: However I believe ACRB is still legal
I've used Cyb's hybrid salt tek to extract DMT from it and I can guarantee it works
Knock Knock
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Shiithead]
#22026078 - 07/31/15 08:26 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Soulidarity
With Your Halo Slippin . . .



Registered: 07/15/12
Posts: 17,617
Loc: Atlantis
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
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Quote:
OhMrJohnson said:
Quote:
Soulidarity said: DMT is definitely illegal, but its awesome
However I believe ACRB is still legal
I've used Cyb's hybrid salt tek to extract DMT from it and I can guarantee it works
anything containing DMT is illegal. whether they know its illegal or not is a different story. it is 100% illegal though
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  R.I.P. WoodRuss67, Todcasil, TheMerryIguana, The Rompus, Lord Senate. [/url]
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Oh I see, wasn't aware of that
Well in that case it's de facto legal you can still buy it on Ebay I got a kilo of it shipped in from Hawaii last year but maybe things are different now
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Lol not I. I say do what you want....
Government interference is the last thing you need for dmt addiction xDD
If anyone is a policeman it's you... Trying to sell your nicotine juices and all lmao...gtfo pig....
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Shiithead]
#22026112 - 07/31/15 08:43 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dude are you really still buthrt about that?
And I don't give a fuck if the authorities know what I used to do I'm a small fish no one gives a fuck about me I don't even do that kind of stuff anymore
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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LMFAO!
Go run your game somewhere else narc....
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Shiithead]
#22026118 - 07/31/15 08:45 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Niffla



Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,489
Loc: Texas
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vendors & sources for 1P-LSD are out there OP
and it's legal for "research purposes"
it's not a bullshit RC, it's a real deal psychedelic -- in my opinion it's virtually LSD...if not it's close as fuck
read trip reports
you'll have to learn bitcoins though to buy
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HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Shiithead] 2
#22026122 - 07/31/15 08:46 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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It's funny how he's calling me a cop when he's the one acting like a cop
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy] 2
#22026129 - 07/31/15 08:49 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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I need another bowl and a mg of Xanax to cure my sobriety. I'll be back in a bit....
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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I think you guys are all cops
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: I think you guys are all cops
Better safe than sorry.. Btw I like what you've done with your room.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Shiithead]
#22026147 - 07/31/15 08:53 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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I just do it for the free donuts and coffee
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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That's a great perk, that's for sure. Also you can free weed if you're careful in obtaining it. plus, you get to legally drive like a manic when you fell like it. How cool is that?
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OhMrJohnson
Ashes Against The Grain

Registered: 01/12/14
Posts: 17,544
Loc: Terra Incognita
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Re: I need ego death [Re: Le_Canard]
#22026171 - 07/31/15 09:04 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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If I was actually a cop I would let everyone I caught with drugs go free on the condition that they give me all the drugs
I would do this for years hoarding a massive collection of drugs in boxes in my basement then I would quit being a cop and do all the drugs at once
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Diminish the sub-principle and leave its toxic trace.. Once and for all!
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Sounds like a win-win situation to me. Just keep it to yourself. You know how these things work....
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cApTaInCrAp
Delightfullyexcellent



Registered: 03/19/04
Posts: 2,613
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Quote:
i hate liz said: I feel like whenever I'm talking to someone I'm just thinking about how I'm being perceived. My focus tends to be on the next thing I'm gonna say, rather than actually listening/interpreting to what the other person is saying.
Quote:
Giftofdeprivation said:
I realized that the problem wasn't that I was afraid of people, I just had a hard time relating to them. That also made it difficult to identify with them, which causes feelings of disassociation, depression, low self worth, and anxiety. I just stopped caring about relating to them
boy, i got those for sure...
-------------------- "...Terrific, im glad we've had this time to discuss..im outro, call me if you wanna blaze one up.."
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MorphinTime
Tulpa



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Loc: Angel Grove
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Re: I need ego death [Re: shadyy]
#22026270 - 07/31/15 09:35 PM (8 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
i hate liz said: I've been treating my social anxiety with phenibut, and it's great - awesome - but I don't think it's something I can continue.
My dosage is really getting up there due to tolerance, and I would rather get off this path now (before I dig myself deeper in the hole I'm already somewhat in).
I feel like I have too much focus on ME. I used to be more about everyone else -- really show interest in others (and it was genuine). But now I feel like whenever I'm talking to someone (unless I'm on the phenibut), I'm just thinking about how I'm being perceived. My focus tends to be on the next thing I'm gonna say, rather than actually listening/interpreting to what the other person is saying.
I hate this. I don't want to be this way but I can't help it.
I feel like "ego death" is something that should be considered to help me get out of this jam. Just unsure about how to achieve this.
My sources for psychs have slowly dissolved since high school -- I kind of left the drug scene for a while.
Are there any substances that I could buy legally that can help get me there? I know I have all the info I need to grow, but I don't think it's the best idea right now.
Just looking for some advice.
I've been working out, eating right, and all that - so please don't suggest the healthy living shit.
Like I said, phenibut has been my cure but the tolerance is becoming an issue.
Shady I found great improvement with handling social anxiety by subjecting myself to normally uncomfortable social situations, a little at a time. I always rolled my eyes when someone told me to try getting out of my comfort zone, but as defiant as I felt going into the situatons I forced myself into, the resulting interaction wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I didn't feel comfortable at all initially, but I gained from these instances and do better around folks I don't know now.
I don't take benzodiazepines as I've been prescribed or drink when anticipating social situations these days. It helped in the past, at least I felt very confident that it did, but now I'd rather do it sober most of the time.
Ego death achieved through a heavy trip can definitely help, sometimes lasting for a period of a few months or longer, but I think you've done it before and could benefit just as much from trying other things.
The shift in your focus on thinking of how things relate to you vs. other people in your life is something I think is pretty normal to experience. If you want to shift your focus try spending more time with the folks about whom you wonder.
Try joining a local club or meet-up in line with your interests and slowly work yourself up to regular interaction with the folks there.
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Shiithead
Your Huckleberry



Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
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Quote:
OhMrJohnson said: If I was actually a cop I would let everyone I caught with drugs go free on the condition that they give me all the drugs
I would do this for years hoarding a massive collection of drugs in boxes in my basement then I would quit being a cop and do all the drugs at once
Actually you would develop a strong desire to use cocaine on such a frequent basis that every white powder you came across would be insufflated as soon as possible. You would then unknowingly inhale a research chemical and at that moment is when you would stop being a cop. Because your heart would stop.
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Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Psalm 12:6 The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Hebrews 11:3 Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. Revelation 3:11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.
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